Note: A short piece of nonfiction. The narrator? I won't reveal them. It's a personal story, even if all the words that were said are fuzzy. I realize this could have been posted on my other account, but it fit here. Higher rating for implied actions.

Leave your innocence at the door

As he pulled up to the building, she could only look at it in horror. That was where they were going ? No. It couldn't be. While there was no holes in the building, nor was there boards on the doors, it'd looked as though it'd been condemned. For the offered rates and the fact that one could choose to stay there for hours instead of days, she didn't think that it would be a lavish palace. But, even hell had to look a bit better than this.

"The door's over there." He said kindly, pointing in the general direction of the front. "I'm going to park in the back. Ask for a room in the back."

She nodded, biting her lip. She slid her seatbelt off and opened the door to the truck. She swung her leg outside, almost breaking into a smirk at the fact that her feet came nowhere near the ground. She slipped out of the truck soundlessly and quickly closed the door, watching as it pulled behind the building.

She took a step towards the building, feeling butterflies in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't ready for this; it wasn't their first time, but it was her first time in a place like this.

She kept her head down as she walked. Cars to her left drove on the road. She hoped that she was invisible, and that they couldn't see her anywhere near this dump.

"I'm a common garden whore." She thought to herself. She passed the office without even realizing it. She instead walked to the end, only seeing a staircase. The staircase was covered in the cheap green outside carpet to give the illusion that some sort of upkeep was kept on the building. She didn't let it bother her, though. She instead turned around and walked over to the office door.

Upon reaching the office, she faltered at opening the door. She was hoping that it was locked. The lights were off, after all. She put her hand on the handle and pulled. The door opened. The butterflies in her stomach flapped even harder.

As she opened the glass door, a bell at the top beat against the glass, letting the manager know she was there. She looked around, waiting for the manager. There was a cage to keep the manager away from the customer. She was reminded of Vegas where all the money counters were placed. This place didn't do that much business. Why bars?

A short Asian woman came to the counter. The woman pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to the girl through the window. The girl grabbed it and stared at it. Name. Address. ID number? She hadn't brought her ID. She wished she had, though. The woman must think she was twelve.

"I don't have my ID." The girl said weakly, faking a smile.

"Driver's license is okay." The woman replied. The girl shook her head.

"I don't have that either."

"License plate number is okay." A pause. "And thirty five for the room."

The girl felt her eyes pop slightly. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and popped it open. She opened the text message screen, waiting for it to load. She felt the woman's eyes on her.

"I'm just getting the information." She said, laughing awkwardly.

"You don't drive? That white truck that pulled behind?" The woman asked. Her accent cut deep into her words.

"My boyfriend's. I'll find out." The girl said. She picked up the pen and wrote her name and address as small as possible. She then signed the paper, sliding it back to the woman. "I'm going to get more money and the license plate number."

The woman nodded as the girl slipped out of the door. She walked around the building, trying not to look at it. She looked for him, trying to find him. He came out of his truck, glancing at his phone.

"You need my ID? What?" He asked.

"Or license plate number." She replied.

"Oh. That's easy. It's three, two, five. No. Wait." He paused. They both walked over to the truck and she glanced at the license plate, pulling out her phone. She quickly typed the numbers down and slipped the phone into her pocket. There was no way she'd remember the number otherwise.

"It's thirty five?" He asked, sounding annoyed, watching her slip her phone back into her pocket. She nodded.

"Tell me you have a five or something."

"No. I have a twenty."

He pulled out his wallet and opened it, dipping his fingers inside for the bill. She kept her eyes on his hands. If anything could make her feel safe while they were here, it was him.

He handed her the bill and she pulled the ten he'd given her earlier out of her pocket. She then handed it to him as she dropped the twenty into her pocket.

She turned around and headed back to the office. She watched the traffic go by, and continued to watch it as they all stopped at the red light. Again, she wished she was invisible. This building looked like a brothel, and she just another one of the whores. She was glad that she was wearing pants and a sweater, not just because it was cold.

She entered into the office again, the manager appearing at the sound of the bell. The woman pulled the paper back out and handed it to the girl. The girl pulled out her phone and looked at the screen, writing down the numbers onto the paper.

"Oh they're so handy." The woman said, referring to the girl's phone. The girl nodded and flashed another fake smile, letting loose another awkward laugh.

"Yeah. They are." She pulled two bills from her pocket. Two twenties. One hers, and one his. She placed it in the window, along with the paper. The woman took the money and paper and handed the girl a key.

"Number twenty four. Bring the key back, and you'll get ten dollars back."

The girl nodded and left the office again, stepping out into the cold. She headed towards the back, ignoring traffic.

He was standing outside his truck now, his phone still in hand. She held up the key so he could see it. He smiled slightly. She felt the butterflies return. This was really going to happen, wasn't it?

"Number twenty four." She said. "In the back."

He nodded as he walked over to the railing. She joined him.

"Look. That one says 'do not disturb.'" He said with a smile, pointing to number twenty three. That did nothing to ease the butterflies in her stomach. "It has to be the one with no number."

"Maybe it's a sign." She said more to herself than anything else.

They reached the door, only to find out he was wrong. They then turned to the door on the other side of twenty three, the one next to the wall. Heading over to it, she positioned the key, ready to stick it in the knob to get the door open. It was a bit too cold to just be wearing a sweater.

She tried not to look at the door as she stuck the key into the knob. It looked as though you'd get a sliver, just from brushing up against it. Looking at the knob, she realized she was putting the key in upside down. "Duh." She thought, her heart racing. She flipped the key and slid it into the knob, twisting the key.

The door was stuck a bit. She lightly pushed onto it, unnerved by the fact the door jolted down as it opened. It was bad enough that the windows were blacked out. To have the door feel like it was going to fall off? She wanted to get out of there.

The two walked inside. He then turned to close the door. It wouldn't close. He pushed on it as he tried to close it. Nothing.

"This is why they used to tell people to go through the back, probably." He said. He turned and pushed on the door again, this time using his rear end. Nothing. The door wouldn't close. He pushed on it harder. Finally, the door closed. He turned and locked the door. The top lock, at least. The bottom lock in the knob wouldn't lock.

He flipped the light switch on as her stomach fell to the ground. It was not at all what she was expecting. The heater looked rusted out and it appeared to have mold on it. The bed had a cheap looking cover on top with a flower print that looked like it was made in the 1970s. A mirror hung over the bed; covered in smudges and dirt. The ceiling was cracked and had spots of black everywhere—there was even a spot on the ceiling were it looked like mold had built up so much, it was hanging down. There was another mirror in the entry way, right before a closet. He walked past her to where two chairs and a card table sat, pulling off his jacket.

"They didn't give you a remote?" She shook her head. "When I was here five years ago, they did." He turned the TV on. She glanced at it, seeing that it was fuzzy and the picture cut in and out.

"I'm going to the bathroom." He said. She nodded, still looking around. She slipped her shoes off, regretting not wearing socks. She did not know what to wear to this, even going as far as wearing a skirt under her pants.

He came out of the bathroom a few moments later. "It's kind of disgusting in there." She nodded, grimacing. He walked over to the TV, looking at the buttons. "Where's the channel changer?"

He found it a moment later, and clicked through the channels. Each one was only static. Until he came to channel four, which had a perfect picture and sound. It was porn. "Oh wow."

"What?" She asked. She hadn't been paying attention. She glanced at the TV. "Oh."

"The only channel that works is porn." He said. He clicked to a different channel, and then back to the porn. He then turned off the TV.

"I'm going to use the washroom." She said. Her breath felt constricted in her chest. She was freaked out. Being with him still made her nervous. This place made her terrified.

She walked into the bathroom, turning the fan on first. She flipped the switch off and turned the light on. She glanced at the sink and the floor. No. She could not be in here. This was disgusting.

She opened the door back up, coming out immediately, turning the light off as she exited. "That is disgusting. I'm good. I don't have to pee."

"No. If you do, go. Just…squat." He said.

"It's just nerves. I really don't have to go." She said, still trying to breathe normally.

"Aww. You're nervous?" He asked.

"Just being in here. I mean. I've been in a hotel before. Not for anything like this. Or any hotel like this." She stuttered.

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back as he kissed her forehead. The room was hot, as the heat was too high. She was sweaty, but it mostly could have been from nerves.

"You smell good." She muttered. He kissed her on the lips. She kissed back, feeling her need pour into him. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide into her mouth. She maneuvered her tongue around his, not letting him keep the upper hand. He pulled away a few moments later as she moved her arms to his shoulders.

"I've missed you." She said.

"I've missed you too." He replied, kissing her again. She felt the butterflies beat even harder in her stomach. He pulled away after a few moments. "I'm going to try the bed. Hopefully, I won't get diseased."

He let go of her and walked over to the bed, sitting on it. He patted the spot next to him.

"Can we turn off the light?" She asked. She liked the dark the best. It wasn't that she didn't like to see him. She just didn't like herself to be seen. He nodded. She flipped the switch off. Any dim light that was in the room vanished, leaving the room pitch black.

"Turn it back on?" He asked. "We should at least have the bathroom light on. Can't even see anything without something on."

She nodded and walked over to the bathroom. She flipped the switch on and then walked back over to the main switch, flipping it off. The room was lit from the light of the bathroom. Something she really didn't want.

She then sat on the edge of the bed. "Still nervous?" He asked.

She nodded. "Leave me alone." She whined, jokingly. He moved over and laid down on the bed, turning his attention to what she thought was the headboard.

"It's not even attached!" He said "Look at this."

She stood up and glanced. The board was attached to the wall, but the bed was a few inches away from the board. The board had spots of white on it, and one spot of blue. She laughed. He noticed that she wasn't on the bed and pulled her back on. She let out a small squeak.

The both grew silent. Next door, talking could be heard through the thin walls. It wasn't English, or if it was, it was too muffled to be understood.

"They're having an argument." She said, laughing slightly.

"She probably got a call from her husband, and she's with her lover right now." He said, smiling. They listened in, trying to decipher. Nothing. The talking stopped.

"Maybe they're fucking again." He said, laughing. She smiled, trying not to let the images come into her head. She knew that was what this place was for; she just didn't want to think that there were people here doing that.

He leaned over and moved her hair from her ear. He softly kissed it, taking her earlobe into his mouth. She gasped slightly as he nibbled, moving away and kissing her neck. He then moved back to her ear and to her mouth; she kissed him back.

Until the couple next door began talking again. She pulled away, laughing. "Sorry!" She said.

He just smiled and shook his head. She sat as he lay, waiting for the couple to quiet down. They heard the door close, and he sat up, pulling her into his arms. She felt as though nothing in that room could hurt her, as she sat with his arms around her.

"I forgot a towel." He said.

"Use toilet paper?" She suggested. He went into the bathroom and grabbed the roll.

"We won't use the first layer." He said, unraveling it. "Maybe the first four layers."

He ripped the toilet paper off and unrolled a bit more. "You can use the first bit." She said, smiling slightly. He grimaced.

"Oh thanks." He said, pulling it off and handing her the roll. She unraveled a bit for herself, trying to clean herself off. "It's falling apart on me!"

She handed him back the roll as she wadded up her used toilet paper and dropped it to the ground. This place was disgusting. They both had said it. He had apologized a few times for bringing her here. He swore they would never be back here, and they'd go somewhere a bit more pricy. She just wanted to go home and scrub herself and her clothes.

They got dressed in relative silence, leaving the room as quickly as possible. It was still cold out, of course.

"I'll get the truck while you turn the key in." He said.

"Oh thanks." She said, grinning, trying to close the door. It wouldn't close. "You can close the door then."

He pulled it shut with ease as they went their separate directions, she to the office, and him to the truck. She tried to ignore the fact that she felt disgusting and even more like a slut as she walked past traffic to the office. Upon entering the office, an Asian man came to the window. She handed him the key as he gave her ten dollars back. She left the office without a word.

He pulled the truck up to her and she opened the door and climbed inside. He pulled out of the parking lot onto a side road.

"I am sorry. We'll go to the better one next time, I swear." He said.

"It's okay." She replied. "It was better than a car. If you don't think about the room itself."

"Yeah." He replied, not really believing her. "Is McDonalds okay for lunch? I'm a bit broke."

"Sure." She said as he continued to drive.

It was a mutual silence on the way there. The radio played hits from the 1990s as he pulled into the McDonalds parking lot.

"I'm going to wash my hands. So I don't poison myself while eating." He said.

"Same." She replied, both of them getting out of the car. They headed over to the building. As he walked through the door, he didn't let her go first, but he held the door as she walked behind him. He headed over to the men's bathroom as she entered the women's bathroom.

The bathroom was relatively clean. Then again, anything was relatively clean compared to where she'd just come from. She wanted to dive in the sink and just wash her body clean. She'd never felt so disgusting in her life.

She tapped the knob to the faucet and water shot out. She held her hands under the jet, trying to feel human again. With her right hand, she received soap from the dispenser and washed her hands, having to tap the knob again.

The hand washing did nothing. She still felt disgusting. She quickly dried her hands and exited the bathroom. He came out of the men's bathroom seconds later. The two then walked over to the counter in silence.

She wished, just once, he'd tell her that he loved her.