AUTHORS NOTE - VERY IMPORTANT!: This story contains both explicit sexual content, and explicit language. Do NOT leave me reviews complaining about either of these two things, because I warned you. Don't like? Don't read.



By somuchformyhappyending

It's like you're a drug

It's like you're a demon I can't face down

It's like I'm stuck

It's like I'm running from you all the time

And I know I let you have all the power

It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

It's like you're a leech

Sucking the life from me

It's like I can't breathe

Without you inside of me

And I know I let you have all the power

And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time


-Kelly Clarkson

There's something about him that makes me want him. Maybe it's his deep voice. Maybe it's the dark, bad-ass aura he's got about him. Or maybe it's because I can see something inside of him that no one else can.

He appears to hate everyone, and when I try to talk to him, the coldness in his eyes makes me shut up instantly. But it doesn't really stop me from trying. My friends – they think I'm crazy. They say he's not worth it, but for some reason, I think they're wrong.


I walk the New York City streets with my boyfriend – Liam. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world when we started dating two months ago. He was gorgeous in that pretty-boy way, and he was on the Varsity Football team, as well as the Varsity wrestling team. My friends were jealous. I mean shit, I couldn't believe he'd want me either. But apparently he did. After a month, he told me he loved me. I never said it back, but he thought I meant it too.

We walk silently, after having just had an argument. Liam wants to go the next step. I guess I can't really lose my virginity to him. Maybe I'm not ready – maybe he's not the right guy. All my friends have already lost it and think I'm crazy for not going for it. But it feels wrong. And arguing about it has worn me out. Suddenly, after several minutes of silence, Liam looks around, and I'm in complete shock as he shoves me against the side of an apartment building. The streets are completely deserted. After all, it's 3 A.M, and we're in a rather unexciting part of the city. He begins unbuttoning my pants, and I scream, but he covers my mouth. He's of course much stronger than I am, and even though I fight against him, he finally gets my pants down, and his own pants down to his knees.

"You want this," he says forcefully, using the hand that isn't pinning me to the wall to push aside my panties. He's about ready to do everything, as I'm crying hysterically, when something stops him. I open my eyes just as Jake Rutherford, the boy I can't seem to take my eyes off of, grabs Liam by the shoulders, turns him around, and punches him directly in the face.

I rush to pull on my pants, still crying rather hysterically, and when I turn around, I find Liam completely bloodied up, lying on the ground.

"Do you regret doing that yet?" Jake says softly, but dangerously, standing up. He glances at me, and then turns away. "Get out of here, Maggie."

The way he says my name sends chills down my spine. And then he just begins walking away.

"Wait!" I call, through tears. Jake doesn't even bother turning around; he just continues on his way. So I jog slowly after him, even though my head is killing me from when Liam slammed it against the brick wall and my legs are shaking.

I grab onto his shoulder when I reach him, and he turns around abruptly, standing back.

"What?" he demands, And that's when I start feeling woozy. I pass out, and for some reason, I can't remember ever hitting the ground.


I wake up in an unfamiliar apartment, and I only realize where I am, when I look around to find Jake Rutherford staring at me. His arms are crossed over his broad chest, and he's just leaning forward on a leather couch.

"Where-?" I begin to ask.

"My apartment," he replies instantly.

"Who do you live with?"

"My aunt. She's away for the weekend."


I stand up, my legs still a little wobbly. "Thanks…" I trail off awkwardly.

He just nods, and stands up, heading towards the door. He opens it up. "I bandaged your head. You should be fine now. The cuts weren't too deep."

I reach up to feel the bandages, and I can't help to feel completely drawn to him. He's gorgeous. I've never gotten a really good look at him, without him making eye contact with me and forcing me to look away.

His eyes are incredibly dark, and his hair is completely black. He's tall, well-built, and that goddamn voice. It kills me.

I realize then that he means for me to leave. And then I realize I've got nowhere to go. I had been going to Liam's house since my dad had kicked me out of the apartment so that he could drink with his friends, but Liam was out of the picture. And I couldn't tell Jake Rutherford that I had nowhere to go. And all I can really focus on is those gorgeous lips of his and how badly I just wanted to kiss him.

"Well…" Jake trails off.

I blush. "I just…"

"What?" he demands, looking pissed off.

I sigh. "I've got nowhere to go."

He looks incredibly confused and frustrated and uncomfortable. "What the fuck do you mean? You don't live in a cardboard box on the streets, do you?"

I shake my head. "I don't…"

"Listen, Maggie. I'm not some kind of gentleman who's just gonna let you stay here and take care of you, alright? Go home."

I swallow, feeling tears coming on. I guess I'm still in shock from what happened tonight. "I seriously have nowhere to go," I finally admit.

"I don't really give a fuck, Maggie," he says, being as straightforward as he could possibly be. "Go to a friend's house, or something."

"They all went away for the weekend."
"So what the fuck do you want me to do? Let you sleep here?"
"No, I just…" I sigh, and start walking towards him. Finally, when I'm standing in front of him, I look up. "Thanks. I don't know what would've happened if you'd not been…"

And then our eyes lock, and I lose control of myself. I stand on my tippy-toes and press my lips aggressively against him. He hesitates at first, and then he's slamming the door closed with his foot and kissing me back just as intensely. He's got me pressed up against a wall, and he lifts me up slightly, which leads me to wrapping my legs around his waist. And then he's heading towards the bedroom, and I'm completely wrapped up in the way his lips taste and how good of a kisser he is. He's sweeping my mouth expertly with his tongue, and I can't help but to moan every few seconds. Finally, we reach what must be his bedroom, and he practically throws me onto his bed. I've never gotten farther then just making out, and the occasional fondling, but I feel so right doing this. The idea of losing my virginity usually terrifies me, but right now it feel so right. I want to lose it to him. I need to.

I lose track of what's going on until he's got my pants off, and he's only in his boxers. Then, my shirt and my bra are off, and he doesn't even look at me as he begins slowly slipping off my panties. Then he glances at me. Our eyes lock, and I swallow. He's fucking intense.

My panties are off now, and he keeps our eyes locked as he gently probes me…down there with his fingers. I'm incredibly wet and I arch back in pleasure. He slips a finger inside of me, and it's a little uncomfortable at first, but then he starts pumping in and out of me and I can't take it. I feel like I'm going to pass out, it feels so good. He pushes me over the edge for the first time when he adds another finger, and then another.

My first orgasm is unbelievable. I just want more and more of him. I want him inside of me. He seems to sense that I'm ready, and he pulls off his own boxers, revealing himself. He's completely beautiful, when I look at him fully. He doesn't give me much chance to explore as he pulls a condom out of his jeans pockets, and then he's inside of me. He's rather rough until he reaches my hymen, and his eyes widen.

"Fuck…You're a virgin?" he demands.

I open my eyes, and blush. "…Yeah…"

"What the fuck, Maggie?" He begins pulling out, but I grab onto his bare shoulder.

"No. I want this. I want it to be with you. Please. Don't stop."

"I'm not the kind of guy to do this with, Maggie. I don't really do the whole emotional, caring shit, alright? I'm not gonna hold you after this. I'm not going to-"

I lean up slightly and kiss him passionately. When I pull away, I keep our faces close. "Shut up, Jake. Just do it. I want it. I need it."

He sighs. "It's gonna hurt," he finally says.

I shake my head. "I don't care."

He hesitates for a moment, and then he's back inside of me, and against my barrier.


I nod, and he pushes through. It hurts like a bitch, and my eyes begin to water, but he stops inside of me, letting me get adjusted to the feeling of being filled up completely.

After a few moments, I nod, to signal that I'm ready. And he begins pumping in and out of me slowly. Then, I start to get used to it, and he picks up pace and then he's breathing heavily, and I'm expecting it to be completely uncomfortable since I've heard the first time is never realistically fun, but I start to get into it. It starts to feel good, which I guess is the advantage of losing it to someone who clearly knows what he's doing. And then he's pounding into me, and I orgasm for a second time, which is much more intense than the first one. And then a few moments afterwards, he comes as well, and he pulls out of me, falling onto his back.

It only occurs to me then what I've just done.

I've lost my virginity to Jake Rutherford.


I'm dreading school on Monday morning. I almost don't end up going in, but then my dad wakes me up in the morning, completely drunk, and I realize that staying home all day with him won't be much fun either. Plus, I shouldn't prolong the awkwardness. It's going to happen sometime.

I'm fine until lunch, since I haven't seen Jake or Liam. But then, the cafeteria doors are thrown open, and Liam and Jake enter. Together. But I realize at once that they weren't actually walking in together on friendly terms, which would've also been weird, but that Jake is walking after Liam, who appears to be backing away from Jake. The whole cafeteria goes silent.

"Jake, man, we can sort this out," Liam says, and just then I notice the stitches all along his forehead, and the bandages that practically cover his entire face. Liam places his hands up in front of him, an attempt at self-defense.

"You already fucked up any chance of us 'sorting this out'," Jake practically growls. "But honestly, if I beat the shit out of you again, you'll probably lose a limb, so I'm going to keep this simple. You mess with her ever again and I will kill you. Understand?"

My eyes widen. Jake has to be talking about me. He has to be.

Liam just nods. "Alright, man, whatever you say."

Then, Jake scans the cafeteria, and his eyes land on me. The whole cafeteria turns in my direction, looking shocked. Especially my friends, since I haven't told them anything that happened between me and Jake. After all, they're not real friends. They're just popular teenage girls who stick together to gain more power.

Jake then heads over to my table.

"We gotta talk," he says softly. My friends all stare at me intensely.

"What the fuck is going on?" Lindsey, my 'closest' friend demands.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I mutter, grabbing my water bottle and my bag, and following Jake out of the room. When we're outside, Jake runs his hands over his face, looking incredibly stressed out.

"None of anything that happened between us happened, you understand?"

I swallow, and nod.

"Okay," I say, feeling slightly disappointed, even though I already was pretty convinced he'd say something like that.

"And that motherfucker was talking about drugging you at a party coming up and sleeping with you. I don't think it'll be a problem anymore, but I wouldn't suggest going to that party anyway."

I nod. "Okay."

"You're being surprisingly calm," he finally says, after a few moments of silence.

"Calm about what?"

"Calm about both things. About acting as if nothing happened, as well as finding out that your disgusting-ass boyfriend wants to drug you 'cause he's too much of an ass hole to actually get in your pants."

"You're an ass hole and you got in my pants," I find myself saying. He glares at me.

"I'm serious, Maggie. Nothing happened."

I sigh. "Okay."

He nods. "So…I'll see you around."


Three months pass by, and Jake and I don't talk. I think about him all the time, wishing he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him. But we can't always have what we want.

I talk to him for the first time in three months when I'm taking a trip to the cemetery to visit my mom. When I get there, I see him all the way across the small cemetery, sitting down in front of a grave, flowers in his hands. As soon as I open the gate, which barely squeaks, he seems to notice. He looks up in my direction, and we both freeze. He stands up, drops the flowers by the grave, and walks towards me. But when he reaches me, he continues on passing me. I know I shouldn't – I should just let it go, but I grab onto his arm gently.

"Are you following me?" he demands.

"No…" My eyes harden slightly. "Paranoid much?"

He sighs. "What happened to the whole 'leaving each other alone' thing?"

"So I'm not allowed to say hi? We should just walk right past each other?"

"Exactly." He continues walking.

I can't help myself. I want to talk to him so badly, I'm willing to be a bitch to get his attention.

"So I'm guessing you're so fucked up 'cause someone you loved died?"

He turns around, his eyes at a new level of intensity. They're filled with nothing but coldness.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" he practically growls, stalking towards me angrily. He stops directly in front of me, and I stumble backwards slowly. He just crosses his arms over his chest, staring down at me.

I swallow, but keep my ground. "That must be part of it, right? I know you weren't always like this. We went to elementary school together, remember? And in middle school…you just changed. Something happened. You became distant and cold and you didn't want anything to do with anyone. Why is it? Is it 'cause someone died?"

He shakes his head. "You don't catch a hint, do you?"

"I catch a hint, Jake. I just don't think this is something you should just keep inside."

"Like you give a fuck."

"Maybe I do."

"You're full of shit."

"Maybe you're just scared that someone might actually care about you," I say, staring up at him.

He looks away, obviously feeling uncomfortable. "Even if I wanted to talk about it with you, Maggie, which I don't, you wouldn't understand."

I swallow. "How'd she die?" I ask softly, even surprising myself with how daring I'm being.

"What the-?"

"What? I've lost someone too. The cemetery is small. You think I haven't looked at the other graves? Well, I have. And I saw her last name. She was your little sister. How'd she die?"

He looks like he wants to strangle me. I keep staring at him, curious to see what he'll do.

"You just crossed a line you're gonna wish you didn't cross at all." And he turns around, and begins walking towards his car. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't even think as I follow him.

"So what're you gonna do? I crossed a line, and now what? You gonna hit me?"

He turns around, looking angry and surprised at the same time. He looks like he's gonna start screaming, but instead he keeps surprisingly calm.

"My mom taught me to never hit girls, sweetie. But if she hadn't, you'd definitely be my first victim," he says, his voice dangerously low. He turns around again, and when his hand is on the door handle I finally come out with it.

"My mom killed herself," I call out. "If you were wondering," I add. "It's your turn."

He turns around, and I think we're both equally as shocked as what he says next, especially since he sounds so genuine.

"I'm sorry."

Now I know that I was right all along. He has a heart. And he cares. He just doesn't show it.

I just stand there, my mouth open slightly, and then he opens his car door, gets in, and drives off, leaving me standing there, confused.


For the next month, I avoid Jake, and it doesn't really surprise me that he does the same. But finally, in May, we have another run-in. This happens when Liam confronts me with the entire football team watching. It's during a football practice, and I'm walking around the field to reach the bleachers. I'm only here because my friends are, and it's one of those things you just do as a teenager. Watch the boys get sweaty and ram into each other. Super fun. Not really.

Anyway, one of my friend's, Olivia, whistles when Liam scores a touchdown, and he beckons that she come down onto the field. Probably so they can share a kiss. My entire group of friends have kept the fact that the two of them are dating a secret, so as not to 'hurt me'. But I'm not an idiot. And it doesn't hurt.

So Olivia runs down, since the practice is over, and my entire group of friends follows her down there, preparing to exchange hugs with all the best, and the hottest players. I have no choice but to follow. There's nothing more pathetic then sitting alone on the bleachers.

So I follow, and chaos ensues. I'm the last of the girls to join the group of boys, and when I do, Liam shuts everyone up, by saying one thing.

"Why do you guys still even hang out with her?" he says, pretending that he intended to whisper it to only Olivia, although I know he wants me to hear. And I blush, wanting to punch the motherfucker in the face.

Anyways, there's an awkward silence, and then Olivia looks at me.

"Well, you have been kind of distant, Maggie," she says. I watch the faces of my so-called friends. It is clear that there all deciding whether or not to defend me or agree with her and look cool in front of the boys.

"Plus, the bitch don't put out, according to Liam," a starting player named Drake, says.

The boys all laugh, and a few of the girls giggle.

I swallow. Suddenly, I want to tell them all that I slept with Jake Rutherford. They'd be shocked. Liam would be pissed.

But of course, I don't. I'm still fucking angry as hell, though.

"I only put out for guys who I know won't be a disappointment," I finally manage, smiling sweetly at Liam. "Guess you just weren't really worth the time."

He looks pissed, and before I know it, a circle has formed around the two of us, as if there's going to be a fight. But I don't think Liam would hit me. Well, in public, at least.

He steps forward, towering over me.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Maggie. You're just some stupid little tease."

Suddenly, everyone turns around at the sound of his voice.

"You're not going to hit her, are you Liam?" Jake Rutherford says, pushing through a few footballs players so that he's standing in front of me.

"I don't hit girls," Liam mutters.

Jake raises an eyebrow. "Really? So you just attempt to rape them, then?"

My eyes widen, and everyone looks around, shocked.

"I don't see how," Jake continues, "you could find it wrong to hit a girl, but not find it wrong to force them to have sex with you. Doesn't really make sense to me."

Liam swallows. "Rutherford, don't mess with me." He attempts to sound fearless, and nonchalant, but it's clear he's about to piss himself.

Jake just smirks, and my 'friends' are all staring at me. They never knew Jake and I even talked.

"I told you to stay away from her. And I suggest you keep your side of the bargain before I break that pretty little nose of yours again, understood?"

Liam just stands there, bright red.

And Jake, surprising even me, grabs onto my wrist gently, and pulls me after him out of the circle, and towards the parking lot.

"What the hell was that?" I demand, when we're out of ear-shot.

He glances at me. "That was me scaring the shit out of your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend."

Jake rolls his eyes. "Whatever."
"And why the fuck would you bring up the rape thing?" I whisper harshly.

Once we reach his car, Jake turns around, towering over me. He's much scarier than Liam.

"One would think that if you were nearly raped by your boyfriend, you'd tell your friends that he was an ass hole. But you're too concerned about your goddamn reputation to say a word."

I just stand there, feeling like an idiot.

"It's not so easy to admit you've been sexually assaulted," I finally say.

"Apparently it's not very easy to be yourself," he replies. "All that matters to you is those stupid back-stabbing bitches, right?"

I take a step forward, so that we're almost touching. I look directly up at him.

"For once in my life I have friends. Do you know-?"

He chuckles. "Friends?" He points towards the group of girls standing on the football field a few hundred feet away, who are still staring at us. "If those bitches are friends then you've got a fucked up definition of friendship."

"Oh, because you certainly seem to know what real friends are. You have no friends, Jake."

He shakes his head. "You're pathetic."

The words actually hurt, and I feel tears come to my eyes. Partly because I agree with him, and partly because what he thinks matters to me.

"You just hide behind those stupid whores. You hide away from your past, you hide away from the truth."

"Oh, because you don't hide away from your past, do you?"

"I've come to terms with everything that's happened to me, Maggie. You don't know how to deal with the fact that your mom killed herself. You don't know how to deal with the fact that you feel like you've got nothing left."

I'm silent because he's right. And I don't know how he's read me so well. No one else has ever caught on.

But I'm pissed, at the same time.

"You don't know how to deal with it either!" I practically scream. "You just keep to yourself, staying completely miserable, because you think no one will ever be able to understand you. Since when is that a healthy coping skill?"
"Since when is being miserable, but lying to yourself about it a healthy coping skill?"

"Fine, Jake. I'm not fucking perfect, but neither are you! So don't lecture me on how to cope with my past, when you're not doing a very good job either!"

I stand there breathing heavily for a few moments, and then, he grabs the back of my head with both hands rather harshly, and pulls my face towards his. I stand on my tippy-toes without thinking about it, and then our lips crash together.


That whole weekend, we don't talk. One, because neither of us are motivated enough to actually talk to each other, and two, because I'm scared shitless. This whole situation is so fucked up. First, I'm convinced that he hates me. Then, he stands up for me, and then he kisses me. Then he drives away without saying another word. What the fuck is going on?

So Monday morning rolls around, and I'm too depressed/anxious to put any effort into looking decent. So I simply pull on a pair of jeans, slip on a bra, and wear an old, ratty t-shirt and a pair of converse I wore when I was thirteen. Somehow, they still fit.

I catch the bus in the last two seconds, and when I reach the school, it all comes back to me. Basically, on Friday during the football practice, everyone turned on me completely. I had been so wrapped up in the whole Jake mess that I didn't even bother to figure out what I was going to do about the fact that I no longer have any friends.

The day is going fine until Calculus. I ask the teacher if I can go to the bathroom, and she give me permission. I'm walking towards the bathroom, when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to find Liam standing there, with an angry, determined look about him.

"What do you-?"

Suddenly, he grabs me by the wrists, drags me into the boy's bathroom, and puts his hand around my neck, slamming my head against the tiled wall.

"You're the only girl I can't have," he whispers angrily. I try to scream, but I can't even breathe with his hand wrapped so tightly around my neck. I start to feel slightly woozy.

"And I will have you," he says. He drops his pants and boxers all at once, and I struggle against him, but he's too strong. I feel him unbutton my jeans, and the last thing I see before I pass out is Jake Rutherford knocking Liam to the floor. My head collides with the ground, and I'm out.

I must only be out for a few moments, because I regain consciousness just as Jake throws the first punch. He's got Liam pinned to the ground, and by the same I can find my voice, Liam's face is already bloodied.

"Jake!" I manage, as loudly as I can. But it comes out all raspy.

"I told you to stay away from her!" he growls, and continues punching. I can't stand up, I feel all weak in the legs, but I want so badly to get Jake to stop. Sure, I want Liam to suffer, but there's blood everywhere already, and it's making me sick.

Luckily, a few boys must've heard the loud noises coming from the bathroom, and they run in, attempting to pull Jake off of Liam. At first, it doesn't work. In the end, it takes four boys to actually get Jake up. And I just sit there, against the wall, wide-eyed, terrified that I can't do anything to stop and control the situation.

"Jake, man, stop! He's not worth it!" Some kid named Cody shouts as he and the three others boys continue restraining Jake. Finally, Jake gives up, shoves through the boys, and kneels down in front of me.

I just look at him, and then I burst into tears. Jake places his hands against my slightly wet cheeks and looks directly into my eyes.

"Are you okay?" he says gently.

I can't help it; I lean over and vomit right next to Jake. Luckily, none of it gets on him. I feel all dirty from Liam's attempted rape, and then all the blood…It just makes me sick.

"Obviously not," he mutters, and he grabs onto my waist gently, hoisting me up. One boy is sitting beside Liam, and the other three just stare at Jake and me.

"Dude, is she okay?" one asks.

"What the fuck do you think?" Jake replies, getting me onto my feet.

He wraps an arm around my waist, and I begin to stumble slightly, and his grip on me tightens.

"Let's get you out of here," he says softly. As soon as we get out of the bathroom, the principal and several male teachers have arrived at the scene, and the nurse is there with a wheelchair.

"Are you okay, Sweetie? What happened?" the nurse demands. She forces me into the wheelchair with Jake's help, but without his arms around me I feel less safe.

I just shake my head, and cover my face with my hands, crying softly.

"Honey, you have to tell me what-"

"She doesn't want to talk about it," Jake interrupts smoothly, and I try to remind myself to thank him later for that.

Jake walks beside us as she wheels me towards her office, and when we get there, she helps me onto the bed.

"I have to go catch up with the principal, Sweetheart. He'll be wanting to talk to you. I'll be right back to check you out, alright?"

I don't say anything as she disappears.

Jake just stands there staring at me, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. I just look at him, tears streaming down my face.

He pushes off against the wall, and then walks towards me, surprising me by sitting beside me on the bed.

"Thank you," I say softly.

He nods, and reaches out, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I was…I was so scared," I mumble, through tears. I do my best to wipe them away, and I look up at him as he pushes my hands way gently, wiping my tears away for me with the pad of his thumb.

"Of course you were," he replies, his eyes full of sympathy. "You felt powerless, like you had no control over the situation."
I nod. "You sound like you know what I feel like."

He looks up at me, after staring down at his lap for a moment. "My sister…She was raped," he says softly.

My eyes widen.

"…Oh my God…" I trail off, not knowing what else to say.

He shakes his head. "And then she killed herself." He looks up at me. "There you go. That's what happened. You wanted to know, right?" He smiles bitterly. "She's dead 'cause I let her go out with some disgusting piece of shit who raped her. In the back of his car. And I…I couldn't help her. And then she just ended it all. Two months later."

"Jake, I'm so-"

He stands up and backs away from me, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Don't even say it. I know you're sorry. I'm just glad that Liam didn't get the chance to go that far." He swallows. "And I don't know what's going on between me and you. But it can't go any farther. I'm not right for you, Maggie. You deserve someone who's not a complete wreck."

"What if you are right for me?" I reply softly.

He shakes his head. "I'm not."

And then he turns around, and leaves the room, leaving me feeling more empty then I did after Liam tried to rape me.


I stand outside Jake's apartment door the next night, debating whether or not to knock on his door when he opens it himself. His eyes widen slightly.

"What are you doing here?" he says softly.

I swallow. "I want to talk to you."

"Maggie, I-"

"I know. You think I'm crazy. But I just…"

He sighs. "I guess I'll get groceries later," he mutters, and he opens the door wider.

"Where's your aunt?" I ask.

"Away on business," he replies simply. "Do you want anything to drink?"

I shake my head, and I take a seat on his couch. His follows my example and sits beside me, leaving a few feet between us.

"You're the only person who makes me feel safe," I begin. He's about to say something, but I continue and he closes his mouth. "And I've never had a feeling of security around someone since my mom was alive. And then when she died, I lost both her and my dad. My dad is now an alcoholic and couldn't give a shit about me. And my so-called friends never gave a damn, either. And then there's you. You don't bull shit. And it's refreshing. I just…I know people are scared of you and say you have no feelings, but I don't believe that at all. I guess….I just like you."

He swallows, and remains silent.

"And the fact that I trust you so easily is so out of character for me, that I feel like there must be a reason why I trust you, you know? Like…" I blush here. "I trusted you to take my virginity because I feel completely comfortable with you. And that sense of security doesn't come along often for me. So when I feel it, I know I should take advantage of it."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"Maggie, I'm just not who you want to be with."

"I want one good reason why."

"I'm not a good person," he finally says.

"I don't believe that. I think you hide behind a cold personality because you believe you don't deserve to get close to anyone. But you're wrong. You deserve to be happy, Jake."

He leans his head back against the couch. "You just don't get it."

"Why do you think you're so horrible?" I ask gently.

He bites down on his bottom lip, and his eyes close as I reach out and place a hand against his cheek. Then I move closer to him, and kiss him softly on the lips. I lean forward slightly so that my mouth is by his ear.

"Does that feel right?" I ask softly.

He opens his eyes, and they lock with mine. He gently pushes me backwards until I'm lying on my back, looking up at him. He supports himself over me, making sure not to place all of his weight on me.

And then, he leans down and kisses me more passionately then I've ever been kissed. I open my mouth slightly, and he slips his tongue slowly inside, and I moan as his tongue expertly sweeps my mouth. After a few moments, he pulls away.

"Does that feel right?" he whispers.

I smile softly. "You have no idea."

Then he begins kissing my neck softly. "What about this?"

I just moan.

And then he's pushing up my shirt, his warm, large, calloused hands against my skin.

"And this?"

I don't respond, I just close my eyes and give into the pleasure.

He gently removes my bra, and then he's pulling off my pants, and then he's slowly removing my panties.

Then, he removes his hands and leans backwards, so he's not even pressing against me. I open my eyes to find him just staring at me. I blush, and attempt to cover myself up on instinct, but he pulls my hands gently, and pins them down against my hips.


"Shh…" he whispers. "I just want to look at you."
I blush an even deeper shade of red.

"You're so beautiful," he finally says, breathlessly. And then he reaches up and removes his black t-shirt, revealing a gorgeous, toned chest. I reach up to place my hand against his chest because it looks so beautiful and he just chuckles softly, taking my hand and places it back down by my side.

"This is about you," he says softly. "About your pleasure."

I bite down on my lip gently, feeling myself getting wet just at his words.

"Lean back down, Maggie," he urges me gently. He removes his jeans quickly, and then he's just in his boxers. He resumes his previous position – supporting himself above me.

He gently nuzzles my neck and I lean into his touch.

"Let me love you, Maggie," he says softly, and I arch back in pleasure as his finger finds my aching clit. He toys with it for a moment and I'm almost already over the edge. He strokes my wet slit with his fingertips, and then slips a finger inside me. I can't help but wiggle slightly, and he chuckles softly, and removes his finger altogether.

"That feel good?" he whispers.

My eyes open suddenly, and I glare when I find him just grinning at me. He's beautiful, I realize. Right then. I mean, yeah, I knew he was a very good-looking guy, but when he smiles he's absolutely breathtaking. Then I remember that I'm aching for his touch and I glare at him once again.

"Stop," I say, rather angrily, and I reach for his hand, guiding it back down to my core.

"Oh," he says, feigning innocence, "so that's what you wanted."

I smack his upper arm slightly, and I'm about to yell at him when he enters me with his finger again suddenly. I moan and he begins pumping in and out of me slowly.

"Faster," I urge him, and he honors my command, even adding a second finger. He pushes me over the edge for the first time, and when he removes his fingers from me, they're soaking wet with my juice.

I blush when he takes his fingertips into his mouth and licks off my juices.

"C'mon," I urge him, aching for his touch once again.

He shakes his head. "Nah ah," he says softly. "We're taking this slowly."

And then he leans back down, but this time instead of his hands, he places his head between my legs, and enters me with his tongue, lapping up my juices. After probing me with his tongue, I go over the edge once more, and then he's finally ready. He eyes me, and pulls off his boxers, unleashing himself.

"You ready, Baby?" he asks gently, and I smile at him.

"It's not like we haven't done it before."

He smiles back. "That's true."

And then he enters me.


When I wake up the following morning next to Jake Rutherford, I almost flip out. Plus, his arm is wrapped around my waist, and I'm pulled tight against him. And then I smile.

I have to pee, and I try to get out of his grip without waking him up. But once I begin squirming slightly, he's up.

He opens an eye, and just glances at me. "You're adorable when you sleep, by the way," he says.

I smile at him. "And you're a creep for watching me while I sleep. Now let go of me before I piss all over your bed."

He groans, and lifts up his arm so that I can get by. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I feel the soreness in…that area.

"Ouch," I mutter.

He sits up. "Sore? I must've really worked you last night." He winks at me.

I roll my eyes and head towards the bathroom, happier then I've been in awhile.

When I return, I have only one question on my mind.

"Does this mean we're together?" I ask, as I crawl back into the bed, resting my head against his bare chest.

He's silent for a moment. "Honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way."

I smile, relieved that this is his answer. "Good. Either would I."


3 years later

I stumble into the apartment, trying my best to balance groceries in my arms so as not to drop them. Of course, being the klutz that I am, I trip over my own foot and the bags go tumbling. I sit there on the floor, feeling like an idiot.

"I saw that."

I glance up to find Jake standing there, leaning against our bedroom door frame, his hands crossed over his chest, and a smirk playing on his face.

I blush. "Yeah, well…At least I actually went shopping for once."

He shrugs. "That's true." He walks over, reaches out towards me, and I grab onto his hand, letting him pull me up.

"So what did you buy?" he asks, looking through the bags which have items that aren't already strewn across the floor. "Yes! Cocoa puffs!"

I just grin at him.

He turns around, and suddenly his face goes all serious.

"I bought you a little something, too," he says, walking towards me, until he's backed me up against the wall.

I swallow, feelings slightly horny. "Is it better than cocoa puffs?"

He chuckles. "It's certainly worth a hell of a lot more, so you better be more appreciative off this than I was of your purchase of the cocoa puffs."

"So what is it?" I ask, getting slightly impatient.

He just locks eyes with me, so that I can't look away. And then, he drops to one knee and I almost piss myself.

I cover my mouth with my hands, my eyes wide.

He pulls out a little black box, and opens it up slowly, revealing a beautiful ring.

"Maggie, will you marry me?" he asks, looking surprisingly nervous.

I just stand there, and then I smile down at him. "If someone told me three years ago that Jake Rutherford would propose to me in our very own apartment, I would've thought they were highly intoxicated. And this is just…I don't even know-"

Then he stands up and places a finger against my lips. "You don't know when to shut up, do you?"

I feel tears of pure joy streaming down my face.

"Of course I'll marry you, Jake."

He breathes a sigh of relief, and I practically charge at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms tightly around me and then after a few moments, I let go, looking him in the eye.

"I'm horny," I finally say.

He grins. "Me too."

Authors Note: Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading, and I really hope you enjoyed it! Leave reviews and let me know what you think! Have a great weekend!