Chapter 2! (Yes I changed my title. I don't like having something that shares the same title as another manga story about giant robots. I mean, god, I can't believe the Japanese stole my idea! …They even had some pretty good musical scores and choreography. Damn them!…What do you mean Zoids was made before I was born? _ It can't be!…anyway *cough* enjoy this chapter with a complimentary serving of splog.)

The evil emperor Harukai was in his favorite tower room gelling-er, combing his already perfectly spiky hair that did not need an entire bottle of strong hold gel to literally crust it into spike formation.

"Ahh, look at me!" All of his attendants about the room did so even though he was talking to himself. "Look at my perfectly purple spikes all naturally-" His hair wheezed and drooped from the exertion of holding itself up for too long. "Flat?…No! Flog! Get in here!"

With the clear tone of an emergency, Flog stumbled past all the attendees to go do what all right hand men do best, "My leige! What is the matter? Is there anything I can get for you?" Grovel.

Emperor Harukai sighed. "All the other evil emperors have evil spiky hair that they can literally impale their foes on. What is wrong with me? Am I not evil enough?"

"I don't know sire, perhaps you could further limit the splog rations amongst the people even though there is no shortage. Then to further make them suffer we could have them all gather and watch while we feed the excess Splog to his highness's royal monkey army. Logically after that your hair would be spikier than the spikiest…Ha ha…ha BWAHAHAHA-"

"Flog, shut up." Emperor Harukai sighed and stood up from his stool. "It's so hard having all these decisions and responsibilities and hair troubles."

"Yes sire, it is a heavy burden you bare." "Yes yes…" Emperor Harukai tapped his foot and music started to play. And he began to sing…

" It's not easy being an evil emperor

No it's not easy at all

It's hard keeping everything to myself

While keeping everyone else's salaries small…."


"But… That's why we have splog

That's why we invented it

It's made of bog excrement

But that's O.K!"


"Yes splog keeps you fed

And that's why you love it

And that's why you love me

Because I give you splog!"


"Come on people, who likes Splog?!"

Group of attendants: "We like splog!"

Harukai: "Alllllright!"


Yes it's hard being Harukai

I'm not even gonna lie

But if you all have splog

Then there's no reason for you to die!

(Fade out)

Meanwhile….

"Mom, dad, guess what?! I made a new friend today!" Pog bolted into his house while a lumbering figure clanked and creaked behind him like a rusty tin can. "His name is Floyd and he's my new super bestest friend in the whole wide world…Hello?" Pog stepped back to realize that while he'd been off in the wasteland half of his home had been completely departicularized in a test departicularization.

Pog sank to his knees. "Noooo!" He wailed, clenching his fists. "My whole family…Gone. You're the only person I got left Floyd. The only person in the whole world.

Floyd unscrewed his head so he wouldn't have to listen to the sobbing anymore.

"Come on! We'll go out, hide in the wasteland and find a group of rebels who share our goals to take us in!" Pog announced and immediately headed off toward the wasteland again. "At first they won't like us, but after we prove ourselves to them they'll trust us with all their information and train us in martial arts. They'll be sure to take in two ordinary humans like us, huh Floyd?"

Floyd tossed his head a few times while he followed Pog back out into the wasteland where they would discover…Their destiny!