You don't shove people. Seriously. It's just not cool. Not cool.
I narrowed my eyes and shoved back. It was only halfhearted, though. He was just so small and, well, picking on people smaller than you is just against my nonexistent morals.
"Don't be such a dick," I told him, a smirk tugging at my lips.
"At least I have one!" He retorted. Feisty little bastard he was, I concluded.
I quirked an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"
He looked at me weirdly. "Do I look like I'm interested in your dick?"
I looked at him critically.
Sandy brown hair, electric blue eyes. A few inches shorter than me. A small, fragile frame. Baby fat cheeks dusted pink. Pouty lips...
I stared at him seriously. "You totally look interested in my dick."
He gaped at me, shocked.
I shrugged carelessly. "You asked."
"Kneel," I suddenly said after a few moments of awkward silence.
"Why?" He frowned, confused.
I rolled my eyes. "Just do it."
Hesitantly, he did.
I looked down. Well, would you look at that. I was right; he was the perfect blow job height.
What an interesting development.
And so I decided to share this information with him.
"Guess what?" I asked brightly, smirking at the kneeling form in front of me.
"What?" he asked dryly, glancing at me.
"You're my perfect BJ height!" I winked at his red face, threading my hands through his hair.
"Let me go, Jake. I'm serious."
"Why?" I asked, frowning. "I'm sure you'd like it. Remember; you're the one interested in my dick." I winked, slowly running my tongue suggestively along my bottom lip.
He scoffed, going red. "You wish."
I giggled. A very manly giggle, of course. "And if I do, my dear Tye?" I questioned.
He coughed awkwardly, seeming to consider something. "How much would you pay me?"
"Twenty bucks," I offered, laughing.
He grinned brightly, face as red as a tomato. "Deal."