1WE SLEEP FOREVER
When he'd called her that night, he could hear the excitement in her voice. She rambled on and on about how much she'd missed him, how she'd couldn't stop thinking about him, and how she couldn't wait to finally see him that night, after being away. That night had marked their one year anniversary. He'd told her to meet him at their spot in the park where they'd first met, and where they would always hang out before she'd went away. He knew what she thought was going to happen tonight; she thought he was going to propose. Although they were both only eighteen and far too young, they often talked about marriage and how they wanted to be together forever. But things had changed, and tonight he wouldn't be getting down on one knee asking her to marry him. Instead, he'd be breaking her heart, and strangely, he didn't seem to care. He knew she'd be more than upset. This was going to destroy her. He was all she had, the only thing that made her happy. He didn't understand how he could go from being so happy with her, being so in love with her, and then to developing feelings for his best friend, who was also his ex-girlfriend.
He hadn't meant for it to happen, but it did, and at first he felt guilty those mornings he'd wake up next to her in his arms and he'd think about his girlfriend, far away upstate in a mental hospital all because of the shit he'd done. He knew if they'd never met, she would have never did what she did. He couldn't deal with the guilt of knowing that she'd tried to kill herself because of him, and he couldn't understand why after that, she still loved him. Maybe he was just selfish. His girlfriend didn't make him happy anymore, but his best friend did, and he wanted to be happy.
He was going to do this even if it killed him.
He wanted to make things right, but he only made things worse.
His heart was racing and he was breaking out in a sweat even though it was one of the coldest nights of the year. He shouldn't have been nervous. He wasn't the type that got nervous over this type of shit. He'd broken hearts before. He'd always been labeled the 'heart breaker'. But this was different, this wasn't just some girl he'd met at a party or a show he'd played with the band, took out for a date, fucked, and kept around for a couple weeks. This was Emily. He'd been with her for a year tonight. He'd met her his sophomore year of high school. They became friends over time and fell for each other fast and hard. Everybody didn't think they'd last, only because of Cody's reputation for being a player, and because they were total opposites. Cody was a badass, a rocker who was dedicated to his band. His idea of a good time was partying, getting drunk, and smoking weed. Emily was the girl who most of the guys had a hard on for but had no chance with. She kept to herself mostly, had a few close friends, and didn't really party, so that was why Cody was so surprised when she showed up to see his band play, but she'd only gone to see him, he'd found out.
Cody felt a vibration in the pocket of his jeans. It was his phone. He'd gotten a text from Emily, saying: 'I'm here. Where are you? I've been waiting for half an hour! I'm fucking freezing!' Cody could see her, she was sitting on a swing smoking a cigarette. He felt like turning around and running far away from the park. He didn't want to do this, but yet he did. He felt like if he just told her and got it over with, he wouldn't be feeling this way anymore, and his conscience would be clear, but at the same time, he wondered if what he was doing was stupid. Emily loved him, more than anything. He wouldn't find a girl like her probably ever again, but…
But he'd already hurt her so much already, and he couldn't allow himself to hurt her anymore.
"Cody!" Emily screamed happily, jumping off the swing and running over to Cody, a big grin on her face, her long black hair flying behind her. She hadn't changed much. She looked the same from what Cody could tell, same hair, oh, that hair, he thought…he'd always loved to run his fingers through it, same amazing body, same gorgeous blue eyes. But what stood out to him the most was that she seemed happy. So happy to see him. And it made him feel sick.
"Emily." Cody said softly, trying to force a smile as she wrapped her thin arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Baby", she whispered, "I've missed you, oh, I've missed you so fucking much, you have no idea." She leaned in to kiss him. He pushed her back gently.
She looked confused. "Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong-"
"Emily, don't." Cody interrupted firmly, "The reason why I asked you to come out here was because…I…can't do this anymore. I can't be with you. I'm sorry, but it has to be this way. With time you'll come to realize that it's for the better that we're not together."
He left before he had to see her cry, and what would happen the next day would make him forever regret what he'd done.
The night that he broke up with Emily, Cody though he'd made the right decision. From the park, he'd drove to Olivia's house. The house was dark, but her car was in the driveway. He called her and called her, but she didn't answer. He knew the backdoor was usually always unlocked, so he snuck in the house, and made his way upstairs to her bedroom, only to find Olivia getting fucked by his band mate, Hunter. "Did you tell him you loved him too after you sucked his dick?!" he screamed at her, wanting so badly to beat the shit out of both of them, but mainly her, she'd done nothing but lie through her teeth.
He ran out of the house, Olivia's laughter echoing through his mind, and what she had said to him, that she had fun pretending to be his Emily.
God, Emily.
What had he done? Was he that naïve? How could he think that what he and Olivia had was love? That wasn't love. She was sick.
He had to make things right.
He'd tried calling and texting Emily all night. He'd left her at least fifteen voicemails. She wasn't answering her phone. He knew something was wrong, and when he pulled into her driveway, he got this strange feeling of dread. The only car in the driveway was Emily's. He got out of his car and walked to the front door, and rung the bell. Waited. Nobody answered. Tried again. Nothing. "Fuck it", he said to himself. He knew where they kept the key, under the Welcome mat. He unlocked the door and let himself in.
"Emily?" he yelled out. The house was so big, his voice echoed in the silence.
He called out to her again as he hurried up the stairs. No response. As he entered her bedroom, after seeing what he saw, he would never be the same. After all those attempts, this time she was finally successful. The last time she'd done it, before she'd gone away, he'd been able to stop her, he'd saved her from cutting too deep. But he hadn't been able to be her hero this time, and he was the cause of it all. Lying in a pool of her own blood was Emily, looking so sad and cold, her wrists slashed and cut deep, a piece of blood stained paper lying next to the razor she'd used.
Hands shaking, Cody picked up the paper. It read:
I'll see you soon.
We can be together just like we always talked about.
You know what you have to do to make it up to me.
He made it up to her.