Colin scanned the snow-covered yard in front of the dorm. When he didn't see anyone, he wandered forward. The air cut into his thin shirt and he suddenly regretted his lack of foresight for grabbing a jacket. Ignoring his discomfort he searched further. Footprints were numerous, varied in size and direction. There was no hope of deciphering Haru's footprints let alone fallow them. Standing several yards from the building, Colin knew Haru must have gone inside by now. Colin should have checked their room first.

Why would Haru be wandering in the cold for so long?

…Why would Haru do a lot of things?

Colin did one last scan of the snow and ran his eyes up to the tree line on the edge of the grounds.

No trace.

Colin decided to go back to the room. If Haru wasn't already back, he would return in his own time.

"Max. No!" Haru had tried to escape, but Max's grip was too tight. Max used his body to press Haru's front against the wall. Haru's arm was twisted painfully behind him, held by Max. "Let go!"

Max whispered into his ear. "I can't."

"Of course you can!"

Haru struggled, but Max tightened his grip on Haru's arm. Haru winced as tears of pain hovered in his eyes.

"It's no use."

Max brushed the fingers of his free hand against Haru's neck.

Haru tried to keep his voice steady. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to make you mine, Haruto."

The touch of Max's fingers was replaced by a light kiss. Haru shivered. "Don't – don't joke! Let me go!"

Max ignored the command and slid his arm down Haru's side. He slid his fingers slightly under Haru's shirt and found a sliver of soft skin. Max made a sound deep in his throat and Haru struggled again.

Max's lips brushed Haru's ear. "I don't want to hurt you Haruto."

"Then let me go!"

Max's hand moved further under Haru's shirt. His hand wandered up Haru's side then to his chest. "I can't do that."

Haru gasped in surprise as Max pinched on of his nipples. "Ah! Don't!"

"You want me to touch somewhere else?"

Haru felt the hand slide down his stomach.

Colin rubbed his cold arms as he came into the room.

Haru wasn't back.

He sighed and fell onto his bed. Colin shifted his body several times trying to get comfortable, but Haru wouldn't get out of his head.

Where had he gone?

Colin tried to tell himself it wasn't any of his business. Haru was just his roommate whom had happened to kiss him on multiple occasions and caused him to feel…

Feel what…?

Colin looked around the room as if to find an answer. He saw the red notebook.

'…he's cute ;D and he seems like a good guy… I won't trust someone when they 'seem' good…'

His finger's itched to look inside. What was inside the head of a boy with two minds? And more importantly, what did he think about Colin?

Colin sat up to get a better look at the notebook. His eyes narrowed on it as if he could magically acquire the knowledge without looking inside.

A pudding cup sat next to the notebook. When Colin saw it he smiled.

… '…you like him more and I can't stand it...' …

But Haruto doesn't understand; I don't like either more… I like…

Before Colin could finish the thought, something else caught his eye. When he stood and approached the desk, he saw it was a small slip of paper. A note in handwriting Colin didn't recognize.

Curiosity was already running wild in Colin's head; he couldn't stop himself from reading the note.


"Meet my in the shed, on the edge of the courtyard, when you get this note."


Who would…?

While Colin tried to digest the meaning of the note, his eyes wondered back to the pudding cup. Dread washed over him as he recalled seeing Haruto with Max.

the shed…

Haru felt the waist of his pants loosen against his body. Max had undone the button and was proceeding to slip his hand between the fabric of Haru's pants and underwear.

"I said get off! This is disgusting!"

Max pressed himself harder against Haru. Haru felt something hard press against his lower back, forcing a repulsed shiver down his spine. Max's hand inched further down and Haru twisted in protest. Haru let out a cry of pain, as his arm was forced further into the position that strained his shoulder – if his arm bent much further, something was bound to snap.

"Haruto don't struggle." Max's voice was growing irritated and he moved his hand further still, till it grabbed Haru's crotch through his underwear.

Haru jerked painfully again. "Stop!"

Daylight flooded into the room, accompanied by the loud sound of a door being swung open. Both Haru and Max were momentarily blinded, but when they could fully open their eyes, a dark silhouette was seen in the doorframe.

The angry and determined gaze belonged to Colin.

In light of the sudden, surprise interruption, Max loosened his grasp on Haru. But Haru was taken aback as well and didn't think to take the opportunity to pull away. Colin charged into the room and grabbed Max's arm that was attached to the hand still stuffed in Haru's pants. He pulled it out roughly, causing a cry of pain from Max. Max let go of Haru's arm on his own and stumbled back. Colin went after him. Fist clenched, he punched Max square in the face. Max stumbled back further and supported himself on the boxes pressed to the wall.

"Colin!" Haru reached out and grabbed Colin's arm as he made to punch Max a second time. "That's enough."

"Of course it's not enough!" Colin's voice was poisoned with anger.

Colin tried to jerk his arm free of Haru, but Haru held onto it like a lifeline.

Haru's voice was quiet. "Colin, enough."

Colin froze and looked at Haru again. Taking the opportunity, Max slipped past them and dashed through the door. Colin made to go after him, but Haru held him back. "Why won't you let me go after him?"

"It-it's taken care of."

"That's what you said last time!"


"I saw what he was doing-"

Colin stopped talking when he looked closer at Haru. Colin could feel Haru's hand trembling against his arm, and he could see Haru's legs shaking, barely supporting him. In fact they didn't support him for long; Haru slipped to his knees, releasing his hold on Colin.

Colin sunk to his knees after Haru.

"Haru, are you…?"

Colin barely heard the whisper that came from Haru's lips. "Don't leave me."


Colin pulled Haru against him, trying to give him as much warmth and comfort as he was able.

"Haru… are you…?"

When Colin looked into the boy's eyes, he didn't know who he was – what side of him was looking back?

Maybe it was both sides looking up at him.

A smile crept over Haru's face. "I like it when you call me 'Haru'."

Colin smiled back, unsure what to say. Haru moved closer and tilted his head upward. Colin felt cold lips brush lightly against his own. Before he could react, the lips pulled away and Haru collapsed against him.

Soon, Colin found himself carrying the unconscious boy through the snow for the second time.

Something warm rested against Colin's side. He stirred and realized the warm object was very solid. Twisting his head and opening his eyes, he saw Haru's body next to him. Or was it Haruto he saw in the dim light? Colin had fallen asleep after carrying Haru back from the shed. Apparently he hadn't had enough energy to move to his own bed after setting Haru down. Lucky for Colin, Haru was lighter than he looked – and he already looked light. Looking at the boy, he was skinny and pail as if he hadn't eaten or rested well in several weeks. Colin wondered if that body had ever truly rested in a long time. As he thought about it, Colin brushed a strand of hair away from Haruto's eyes. His skin was so soft. His lips…

Colin found himself focusing on the pink crescents that had slipped slightly apart from each other in sleep. Colin curled his body up, and twisted his torso, so his head was hovering just above Haruto's. He wanted to kiss him, to remember how their lips had felt together – make them warm. Colin almost did, but Haruto stirred beneath him, and Colin pulled his head away.

Haruto did not wake, but he twisted from his back onto his side, pressing his front onto Colin's. Colin flushed and made a mental note to pull away. But he couldn't. The boys heat attracted him so strongly that he couldn't help but reach his arm around Haruto and pull him closer still. Haruto complimented the action by unconsciously snuggling his head into Colin's chest. Colin rested his own head back onto the mattress and let his eyes shut.

Haruto stirred. His body was comfortably warm and he felt himself sinking into the mattress beneath him. Something warm was wrapped around his body, so warm compared to the chill outside. What time was it? Was it night? Haruto reluctantly opened his eyes. It was dark, but he could make out a parson lying next to him, Haruto was staring into his chest.

Haruto was confused for several moments, not understanding why he was cuddling another person. But memories - his memories - came back suddenly. He remembered Max coming after him. Haruto had been defenseless to stop him. What had happened…?

Haruto shot his arms out, pressing his palms against the chest in front of him, and shoved it away from himself. A confused grunt from the body was followed shortly by the loud thump of a body falling on a wood floor. After finishing the deed, Haruto pulled his body into a crouching position and pressed himself against the wall his bed was against.

What had Max done to him? Was this his room?

The dark figure on the ground grunted an expression of pain.

Suddenly Haruto remembered Max running away, running away from Colin.

How had Haruto gotten back into his room?

Reluctantly, Haruto pushed himself away from the wall and peered over the edge of the bed. Colin was sitting on the floor while rubbing his shoulder.

"Ah, Colin?"


Colin looked up to see Haruto peering at him from the bed.


Colin had forgotten what he was going to say. There was very little light in the room, but the brown eyes seemed to pick up every bit of it. They glistened down at Colin with an expression he'd never seen before. Was it concern? Colin wasn't sure what it was.

"Who…" Colin hesitated for a moment. "Who are you?"

"What?" The expression in those eyes changed to confusion, but Colin thought he saw loneliness as well. "What… you don't…?"

"No, ah. I mean… what Haru are you?"

Haruto didn't speak for several moments, then he pulled back from the edge of the bed and Colin could no longer see his face. Colin pushed himself up from the floor and stood next to the bed. There he could see Haruto sitting with his knees curled to his body, arms around his legs, and eyes looking at nothing.


Haruto turned his head to look at Colin. "I don't know."


Haruto shook his head. "I… I can feel him… but…"

Haruto trailed off, unsure of what to say. Colin sat on the bed, his body closer to Haruto than he had expected. The weight of Colin's body caused the mattress to shift and Haruto's body tilted, falling into Colin. Haruto jerked his body out of its original position in order to steady himself several inches from Colin.

Colin thought he could see a blush on Haruto's face.

Colin reached out his hand and cupped it to Haruto's cheek. Both jerked in surprise; Colin hadn't realized what he'd been doing, but once he did, he pulled his hand back.

Unexpectedly, Haruto followed the hand and leaned back toward Colin.


"Colin. I don't know what is happening to me but… I want you to know that whoever I am… however many selves I have… all of them are very grateful to you."

It was Colin's turn to blush. "What do you mean?"

"You saved me several times and… no one has ever gotten this close to me – that was mostly my own fault but…"

Haruto trailed off again.

Colin brought his hand up, and brought it back to Haruto's cheek. Instead of pulling it away suddenly, he used it to pull Haruto's face closer.

It was the first time Colin had kissed Haruto instead of the other way around. The lips Colin felt were trembling slightly, but softened under his touch. When Colin pulled away, he was happy to see Haruto's face was relaxed. A slight blush lingered under the eyes that had fluttered shut. Colin took it as an invitation and brought his lips back to Haruto. He kissed the lips lightly.

His third kiss was slightly more demanding seeing as Haruto didn't resist, but wasn't moving. The hand Colin held to Haruto's check moved to bring his thumb to Haruto's chin. While his lips were held to Haruto, Colin used his thumb to put slight pressure on Haruto's chin. The pressure caused Haruto's mouth to open slightly.

As if driven by instinct, Colin left all his reasoning behind and slipped his tongue inside Haruto's mouth. He felt the heat within Haruto and plunged himself in deeper. Haruto complimented the action with a soft moan that vibrated across their tongues. Though timid at first, Haruto slowly began to respond to Colin's movements with movements of his own; soon their tongues were twisting together.

Colin used his free hand to wrap around Haruto's waist. He pulled him closer and their combined weight caused Colin to rest his body onto the mattress, with Haruto on top of him. Haruto pulled away from the kiss and propped himself up by placing his hands on either side of Colin's body. Haruto looked down at him, his eyes harboring an expression of confusion and – what Colin perceived to be – lust.

Haruto looked as if he was about to push himself away from Colin if Colin wasn't still holding him by the waist.

"Colin." Shyly - and half questioningly - Haruto breathed his name.

Colin didn't bother giving a response; he pulled Haruto's warmth back against him and twisted their bodies so Colin was propped above Haruto. Colin kissed him deeply.

Colin could feel Haruto trembling beneath him and pulled away slightly to look at him. "Haruto. Is this okay?"

Haruto kept his eyes shut in embarrassment and slowly nodded his head. "Colin what I wanted to say was… that I… I love you – every part of me does."

Colin couldn't resist a grin. When he gave no response, Haruto opened his eyes to look at him, when he saw the grin he spoke again. "Why – say something."

"Oh." Colin had said it in his head and hadn't realized it wasn't spoken out loud. "I love you too… every part of you."

Haruto lifted his head from the pillow, enough to leave a small kiss on Colin's lips. But Colin wasn't satisfied with the small contact. He pressed himself back down lightly and cradled his face against Haruto's neck. He left kisses trailing from Haruto's chin to his collarbone.

Haruto moaned and lifted his hips to press himself harder against Colin. Colin was taken aback by the boldness of the action – but only for a second. In response, Colin slipped one hand between them and moved it between Haruto's legs.

Haruto gasped - his lips once again tangled with Colin's lips - when Colin rubbed his palm against Haruto's growing erection. Unconsciously, Haruto pressed himself harder against Colin's hand. Colin acknowledged the temptation and moved his hand to slide inside Haruto's pants and the fabric of his underwear. Colin grasped Haruto's erection causing Haruto to pull away from the kiss, moan, and clutch onto Colin's back.

"Wait." Haruto breathed. Colin paused his movements to look at Haruto. His face was erotic; his lips were swollen red from contact and parted slightly enough to release small gasps. A blush rested on his cheeks, and his half closed eyes looked up at Colin with longing. Haruto slipped on of his hands from Colin's back and Colin could feel it moving in the tight space between them. It stopped to clumsily open Colin's pants before slipping inside to grasp the heat of his groin.

A sound of pleasure caught in Colin's throat.

It wasn't long they pleasured each other until Haruto spoke again. "Colin… wait… I'm going to-"

His words were caught off by another moan.

"Not yet." Colin whispered, pulling away from Haruto.

Colin felt Haruto's eyes as he watched him slip of his clothes. Haruto made to take off his own pants, but Colin made it there first, running his hands along Haruto's soft skin while slipping the fabric from his legs. Colin was bridging himself back over Haruto when Haruto let out another moan. "Colin… I…"

Haruto pressed himself back against Colin. Colin barely touched Haruto's erection before they felt hot liquid fall between them.

"I – I'm sorry."

Colin smiled. "It's okay."

Haruto's shirt hadn't been removed yet, leaving the fabric stained with his heat. Colin proceeded to slip the shirt from Haruto as he'd done the pants, but instead of caressing Haruto's body with just his fingers, his tongue ran along the freshly exposed skin.

Colin spread kisses all over Haruto's body. He returned to lips for another kiss that Haruto returned greedily, wrapping his arms back around Colin. Sooner than he'd expected, Colin could feel Haruto's erection slowly reform.

Colin pulled from the kiss and pressed three fingers against Haruto's lips. Haruto took them into his hot mouth without question. His soft tongue caressed every inch of them before Colin was able to pull them out again. Then Colin brought the fingers between Haruto's legs.

Pleasure and surprise escaped from Haruto's lips in the form of a gasp. Haruto clasped his hands against his mouth to stifle any other noises.

"It's alright." Colin said. "No one can hear you."

As another finger slipped inside him, Haruto was unable to hold the gasps within his fingers. Colin could hear pain in Haruto's voice and tried to soften his touch, but the way Haruto tightened around his fingers caused him to want something other than his fingers inside of him.

A third finger slipped inside and proceeded to stretch the hole further. Haruto had removed his hands completely from his mouth and had returned them to Colin's back. Colin could feel Haruto's nails slowly digging into his skin.

Colin pulled his fingers out. He wasted no time in pressing his own erection against the freshly exposed opening.

Haruto cried out as the tip slipped inside. Colin pressed in further and Haruto clutched on to his back tighter. Soon, Colin's length was inside and they panted together, waiting for Haruto's body to adjust.

Haruto's body unconsciously shifted, which Colin took a permission to continue. He thrust himself into Haruto several times. Haruto cried out, gasping for breath, smothered from the pleasure and pain colliding within his body. Giving into all sensations, Haruto's hips began to compliment Colin's movements. Colin placed his hand on Haruto's leg, separating it from the other to give him more room to thrust.

Colin lowered his head to Haruto to kiss him. Lips tremble beneath his and he made to sooth them.

Haruto gasped against Colin's lips as his hole tightened around Colin's length. Again, the hot passion shot between them. Colin could not hold his any longer and released himself inside of Haruto shortly after.

They collapsed together. Unmoving, save for the rise and fall of their torsos, caused by the deep breathing.

Colin felt Haruto's breathing slow. He looked at the sleeping face then pulled himself out. He rested next to Haruto and put his arm around the body to pull him closer.

Before Colin fell asleep, he hoped to himself Haruto wouldn't push him off the bed again.

Charles subtly nudged Colin in the arm. "You guys must have had a good break."

Colin returned the whisper. "Why do you say that?"

Charles nodded his head toward the other side of the lunch table indicating Haruto and Jam talking to each other – Haruto was smiling which was probably what had caught Charles attention. Charles laughed. "Well either something happened or someone slipped something into his chocolate pudding."

Colin couldn't help but smile. Since the rest of the guys had gotten back from break, he was glad someone had noticed Haruto's change. Haruto still shifted every so often, but he was mostly a mix of the two – Colin liked to believe that was the real Haruto, and he liked to believe Haruto was happy with the new development.

"So did you guys -?"

One of Charles' interrogating questions was cut of by Nathan's louder-than-it-needed-to-be announcement, getting the attention of more than their table. "I had a great break!"

"Yes, Nathan. We know." Lawson said with a smirk.

Nathan continued, not noticing Lawson's comment. "Daina's got the prettiest eyes. And her golden hair…"

Nathan continued to ramble on about his new girlfriend at home, much to the lament of the singles at the table. Colin turned to look at Haruto who had a small smile curving his lips. Colin smiled back

No one else noticed the silent exchange between the pair. Even if things weren't normal, Colin planned to enjoy the times they would have together. As he looked at the empty pudding cup sitting in front of Haruto, his heart leapt at the idea of forever being the only one to give Haruto chocolate pudding.