60I had no nails yet I wasn't even a nail biter. Gnawing my pencil I sat, contemplating the chemistry test I had just completed. I had turned it in and still lingered in the classroom, needing to gather my bearings before leaving and facing the cold. I didn't know how it had gone because I thought it went well but I can never think chemistry went well, that's a sure sign it was a disaster.
I let out a quick puff of air and gathered my things, rising from the desk and giving the TA a small smile before heading out into the surprisingly icy air.
"How'd it go?" Kurt questioned as he and Nihar jumped up eagerly.
I laughed lightly, "Hi boys."
"She's laughing," Kurt observed.
"Did you remember how to for the equation for the last chapter?" Nihar questioned anxiously.
I shrugged, "I have no idea how I did. I just want to forget about it. You, mister, I am taking on a date. And you, mister, I seriously owe you but I don't know what."
"How about you don't ever turn Kurt into a pussy and we'll call it even?"
I extended my hand easily. "Deal."
"I've never been so nervous about a test that wasn't mine. This can't be good for my complexion," Nihar muttered, losing his protective and loving attitude, replacing it with typical, spoiled Nihar.
"Thank you, Kurty. You've been so patient and I owe you. Ready for our not so well planned date?"
"With you? Always."
I smiled, my eyes brightening with my view of the world. All was well again and chemistry was behind me for the time being.
"What's the plan?" Kurt questioned immediately as I opened the door. "You look nice by the way."
"Thank you. Do you not handle surprises well?" I questioned as I buttoned my pea coat and pulled my purse from the chair.
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't even start with a hello," I smirked. Now I wished I'd planned out a better date.
"Hello."
"Smooches!" I smiled.
Kurt looked at me in disbelief as Karen rolled her eyes. It wasn't often that I was that cutsie. And I admit, I was over the top but I liked seeing their reactions.
I placed my hands on Kurt's shoulders and pressed up on my toes to kiss him. "Well hello there."
"Where are we going?" he questioned impatiently.
"Burger Shack. I already told you."
"If you were too stressed out you could have just told me. I could have planned something."
"Kidding."
"Am I driving?"
"No driving necessary. Cheap date."
"You seem to forget the fact that you have a ton of money now just burning a hole in your wallet."
"I don't forget, I just like to be smoking from my pants."
Kurt's eyes smiled.
"Bye Karen! See you later."
"You won't see her tonight. She's spending the night."
"Lies."
Kurt kissed me, delving deeper than I expected and sucking on my bottom lip as his other hand swooped under my shirt and caressed my warm back.
"Potential lie," I corrected softly.
"That's what I thought."
I rolled my eyes and took his hand, leading him into the hallway.
"Oh, still dating I see," Monica said skeptically.
"Looks to be that way," I stated, a hint of sass in my breath.
"Who else are you dating?" Monica asked Kurt calmly.
"Excuse me?"
"Monica, please," I said.
"I'm trying to help you, Miss Naïve."
"I don't know why you are insinuating what you are, but I'm dating Chloe."
"Huh, we'll see," Monica said trotting off to finish getting ready for her night out.
"What was that about?" Kurt questioned.
"Monica thinks that you're not actually exclusively dating me. She says you don't do things like that."
"Well, she's right."
I was floored. That's all it took to turn this relationship on its head. "W-w-what?" I stammered.
"I don't do things like that. Not until I met you and you required it."
"Really?"
He smirked and pulled me into the elevator. "Really. I'm only dating you."
A weight suddenly fell from my shoulders and I felt like I might float away if Kurt wasn't holding me grounded.
"I thought you were kidding about the Burger Shack." Kurt groaned. "I think I have a clogged artery. Let's never eat anywhere with the word 'shack' in the name."
"Yeah, I love that place but I'm not feeling so hot either. It's rotting my insides," I said leading him to the basement of my dorm, which I knew would be empty on a Friday night, save for a few international students who stayed up all night Skyping and studying.
I pulled out my surprise for the night as Kurt took off his jacket. I laid out two pillow cases—one green and one yellow.
"What is this?"
"I never have a pillow when I come to your house and same for you."
"I have pillows," Kurt said. I waited patiently until he caved. "Fine, I don't have a pillow with a pillow case on it."
"Now you will!" I chirped, setting out the paint I'd invested in earlier.
"I can decorate this however I want and you'll keep it in your room?"
The glint in his eyes made me hesitate. "What are you planning on?"
"Just clarifying before I start."
"I'll keep it in my room."
"Perfect."
"It's so you'll always think of me," Kurt argued 40 minutes later as I studied his pillowcase with what he claimed to be a flower but looked more like a giant penis. He was right. He had carefully held it up to decorate the other side without ruining the first. The other side was filled so innocently with a silly stick picture of the two of us.
"At least you didn't draw a penis on yourself there."
"It would be accurate. I easily could have. Would that help you remember me at night?"
"Ridiculous."
"Done date planning?"
"What, you think it wasn't good enough?" I sassed.
"Nah, I'm just ready to go out now. Do you want to?"
"Sure. Are your friends there?"
"Our friends are there."
I giggled. "As much as you try, they will not say that we are friends."
"Wanna bet?" Kurt said, leaning in close.
"Not particularly," I breathed.
"Let's go."
I wrapped in my jacket and stepped out into the cool night air as we walked to the bar. Sure enough, his friends were sitting in their usual spot in the back. We slid into the corner booth where the heat radiated comfortably.
Kurt nodded in greeting towards his friends and I felt Nihar's eyes burning through my skull. Kurt squeezed my hand quickly before heading towards the bar.
"I need to talk to you," Nihar said firmly, pushing me out of the booth and following behind as he directed me to a smoky hallway.
I waited tentatively, prepared for the lashing that he was bound to give me. I knew it was bad but I didn't know what was coming.
"I waited too long to give this speech because frankly, I didn't think you were important and then when I realized you might be important I was just too annoyed with you. I don't know what the hell is up with you. I won't let you ruin him. He's not the same when he's with you. If you hurt him again, you'll be hurting. Just because you have other things going on doesn't mean you can ignore him. He has options," Nihar said, standing close, his chest inflated as I stood against the wall, tears threatening to spill over. I wasn't sure why I was so emotional but I was worried. What Nihar said wasn't prompted by nothing.
"What do you mean again?"
"You think you're the first girl he's dated? You think you're the only one with relationship problems? He deserves more than you're giving him."
"I gue…I don't. I didn't think about it."
"That's because you only think of yourself. Why do you think you're losing friends right and left?"
I was silent. That hit too deeply.
Nihar glared, "You tell Kurt about this and I'll hurt you."
With that Nihar shoved off and headed back for the table as I followed behind a few minutes later.
"Hey babe. Where were you?"
I shrugged, "Chatting with Nihar."
Kurt's smile dropped as he glanced over at his loud friend. "What did he say to you?"
I shrugged my left shoulder. "Did you get me a drink?"
"Yeah, I didn't know what you wanted," he said handing me a cup of mystery alcohol.
I nodded, not caring much at this point as I tipped the cup back.
"What did Nihar say?" Kurt repeated as I set the cup down.
I tried to smile, "He wants to know my intentions."
Kurt laughed, "He's always looking out for me, eh?"
I smiled, pleased that I had managed to derail Kurt as I downed my drink. "I'ma need a refill, babe."
Kurt looked surprised but only smirked, "Sure thing."
"Whoa, you okay there, Chlo?"
I giggled as I leaned heavily on Kurt to remain upright. Pretty sure this was what it felt like to be drunk. I thought it only happened to bimbos but I couldn't even walk. This was not typical Chloe.
"What the hell?" Adam's voice rang out.
"This iss too ssmall sschool. Why he always find uss?"
Kurt shook his head, "I was wondering the same thing. Hey man, now's not a good time."
"Farrah, you trying to end up like your drug addict mother?" Adam taunted.
I stood up a little straighter to see Adam as the world spun slightly. Reaching out, I decked Adam across the face. I'm not sure if it affected him but I held up my hand in Kurt's face, "Ow."
"Damn Chlo, let's not do that again," Kurt said, clutching my hand protectively.
"Kill him; asshole."
As Adam approached to try to swing Kurt shoved me backwards as I struggled to stay upright.
Kurt refrained from hitting Adam, instead only dodging his advances and trying to stay in front of me.
I stood as tears poured down my face, the pain in Adam's comment sinking in.
"Adam, Adam," I cried, trying to gain his attention.
"What the fuck?" I heard Nihar say as he jumped in, grabbing hold of Kurt, assuming Kurt had been involved in the fighting as Will held Adam back.
"Hey, hey, calm down. Kurt, go get your girl and get out of here. Calm down," Nihar shouted, trying to rein Kurt in.
As Kurt pulled free of Nihar's unnecessary grasp, Nihar shoved him in my direction. He grabbed my hand and led me towards his apartment quickly for a few yards before slowing down to accommodate my swagger.
"You alright?"
I nodded, tears pouring down my face as I continued to sob.
"Who would have known you were a sad drunk?" Kurt tried to joke.
I smiled and looked up at him, "You okay?"
He nodded, "I'm sorry."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Fer staying outta it."
Kurt laughed and opened the door to his apartment, ushering me inside.
"Did your mom drink?"
"No. She died because drugs. That's why Adam's an asshole for ssaying that."
"She used drugs?"
"No. It was a misstake," I slurred as I flopped down onto the couch on my stomach. "I drank too much."
"That makes two of us," Kurt said, sinking down upright on the end of the couch and leaning his head back.
I sat up suddenly, "Whoa. You need ice. Fer yur eye. You taught me ice."
Kurt nodded, "Yeah."
I picked myself up and straggled to the freezer, collecting ice cubes for Kurt in a t-shirt lying on the counter and placing it on his eye. Well, I'm pretty sure I hit him in the face with it, rather than placing it on his eye judging by his wince.
"Thanks babe."
"I'm sorry he hit you."
"I'm sorry you're not friends."
I laid down on the couch, draped across Kurt's lap as I passed out, waking up several hours later with my head in the garbage can.
"Ugh," I grunted, struggling to adjust to the bright lights as I sat up.
"Don't puke on anything," Nihar ordered from behind me.
I nodded in agreement. "Where's Kurt?"
"Hey, how ya feeling?" Kurt said right on cue, as he entered the room.
I smiled sheepishly, "I am so sorry."
He shook his head, "I should have cut you off sooner."
"I shouldn't have been pounding drinks all night."
Kurt laughed as I grunted and threw a hand to my head.
"Asprin?"
"Huh?"
"Want some aspirin?"
"No."
"It will help you feel better."
I shook my head but followed him to his room anyway.
He pulled me into a tight hug. "Hey, you're going to be just fine, Chlo."
"I am so grateful that you're here right now and that you accepted me even after all the crazy I've brought into your life."
"I feel that I've brought most of it in myself anyway."
"Maybe," I gargled.
"I'm here for you."
"She died two years ago and he was there for me. He was my strongest support and for him to throw it in my face like that kills."
He nodded calmly, "I know."
"She wasn't a drug addict. I know Adam said that," I winced, recalling the brawl Adam and Kurt had been in as I eyed a small scab over Kurt's eyebrow.
"Okay," Kurt said in a way that required nothing more.
"It was a mistake," I choked out as he held me. "She had surgery. The instructions on the prescription were wrong. 4 pills every 1 hour is a lot different than 1 pill every 4 hours," I whispered recalling the overlooked typo that led to my mother's death.
"Chloe, I'm so sorry. Stay strong like you always are. I'm here for you."
I nodded into his chest as I sobbed and he held me tight, without moving or loosening his grip, knowing I needed his comfort.
I don't know how long we stood there; long enough for me to finally pull back and wipe my tears. "Thank you."
He smiled, "How ya doing?" I nodded. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast. Waffles fix anything."
'I'm sorry he hit you.'
'I'm sorry you're not friends.'
The comment kept rolling through my head. 'I'm sorry you're not friends.' I was sorry too. I felt like I had tried but then Nihar's insults would roll through, 'You only think of yourself. Why do you think you're losing friends right and left?'
Something was wrong in the scenario and maybe Areum was right. Maybe it was me. It was the entire Park family that had turned against me now, not just Adam. The similarity in every trouble situation was me.
I knocked on his door sheepishly. My hand hurt, my body ached, there was a lump in my throat, and I hadn't showered. I needed to right my life before I could handle anything else.
He opened the door and I stuck my foot in, preventing him from slamming it in my face. If he was going to slam it, I might lose a toe but better to prioritize my face.
"What are you doing?"
"How nice of you to invite me in," I said calmly, shoving my way into his room, just like old times. The room was a lot neater than it used to be. It was serial-killer-I-have-too-much-time-on-my-hands neat. Yikes he needed me back in his life badly, that boosted my confidence slightly. Just go for it, Chloe.
I plopped down on the futon and looked up at his confused scowl.
"What are you doing?"
"What? Can't a girl come visit her best friend?"
"You think we're best friends?"
"I know we don't make best enemies. Have you seen us argue like little schoolgirls?"
Adam sighed, "I don't want you here until you clean up the parts of your life that I don't approve of."
"And I don't want to be back in your life until you stop being so crazy but hey, we both have to make sacrifices." As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Adam looked angry and with the serial killer cleaning spree, I didn't know what he was capable of.
"Leave."
"I can't leave until we take care of this. We don't need Drew to force us or for your mom to shove food down our throats to help us bond. We especially don't need the hostility spewing every time we see one another. I made a promise to you to be your best friend forever, in good times and in bad."
"We're beyond bad."
"I know."
I did not know how I was doing this. Adam was still standing at the doorway, holding the door open, inviting me to leave but somehow we had been in the same room for several minutes and we were both still relatively civil. Every second, I was scared I would say the wrong thing but thus far we were cruising along smoothly. My heart was racing out of my chest and I wondered how long the wait was for a heart transplant, just in case it did fly out of my body. I wondered if Adam would call 911.
Adam sighed and let go of the door, taking a seat at his desk chair and pulling it around to face me.
"I promised to be there for you and I haven't been. I lost my way in our friendship and I want to get back to my commitment. Frankly, it doesn't matter if you want me in your life or not. I'm going to be there. And I'm going to be your best friend again. I'd love it if you were my best friend again too, but I'm willing to settle for holding up my end of the bargain." I stated surely. Where was this confidence coming from? I was sweating badly. Thank goodness I had a sweatshirt on and Adam couldn't see my growing pit stains.
"I can't erase the hurt you've caused me."
I wanted to argue and yell at him for thinking I caused him hurt. I wanted to scream. I wanted to storm out but Nihar's words floated through my head 'you only think of yourself. Why do you think you're losing friends right and left?'
"I never meant to hurt you."
Adam looked away, suddenly not wanting to handle the emotional aspect. We sat like that for what seemed like 47 minutes. I had counted but I was counting as rapidly as my heartbeat meaning it was probably only 3 minutes.
"I meant to hurt you," he finally said.
I was shocked. I wanted to cry. Even hearing that was hurtful. I said nothing. Don't be selfish, I coached myself. Let Adam have a turn.
"I did. I meant to hurt you," he started again as my phone rang. I ignored it and continued staring at him, trying to keep the tears welling in my eyes in my eyes.
"I wanted you to feel the pain I felt."
I did. Oh how I felt that pain.
"You killed me, Chloe. You killed me!" he yelled, slamming his fist to the desktop.
"I never meant to," I whispered.
"It still happened."
Wasn't it a little unfair to compare my unintentional pain to his intentional stabbing? I wanted to shout, I wanted to get mad, but I wanted to prove Nihar wrong more. I wanted to give Adam a chance and not be selfish. I bit my bottom lip, preventing myself from yelling.
"Why did you come here? Did you think I would just take you back?"
I said nothing.
"Did you think I would just forget the months of fighting?"
I bit my lip harder, letting him continue.
"Did you actually think we could get back to where we used to be?"
"Yes." I said honestly. "It won't be easy, but I'm going to be there for you. If it's going to work, you'll have to accept my lifestyle as it currently lays but instead of stabbing it, you can be a part of it. I want you there."
"Did my mom put you up to this?"
"She's not speaking to me. And I think you would know I don't do things because people ask. It has to come from me."
"Is this a joke?"
I nearly cried. "Is that what you think this is? Is that why you're so nervous? No. No! I wouldn't do that to you. Despite what you think, I would never intentionally hurt you. Never. That's why I'm here. I don't want to hurt you unintentionally anymore either."
Adam stared at me. I didn't know what more we had to say. I guessed we'd both coughed up our bad feelings and were stuck at the awkward moment where Adam decided whether or not he wanted me back in his life.
The minutes of silence slugged by. My heart was still thumping against my ribcage trying to burst free as I tried to ignore the sweat dripping down my sides. Good thing I hadn't showered yet for the day.
"How's Karen?" Adam finally asked.
I looked up, ready to burst with joy. I wanted to hug him, tell him how great it was to have him back, but instead I tried my best to answer the question. Ah it was good to have a best friend again.
Congratulations, Chloe!
AN: Another chapter. It's still moving. Please review and let me know what your reactions are!
Thanks ya'll!
Colie Rae :)