I hugged my jacket closer to my body, shivering. My eyes were closed as I felt the cold viciously attack my uncovered skin. Glancing up at the sky through my eyelashes, I noticed the little pieces of white drifting down from above. It was snowing.
This only took me away from my thoughts briefly, until I remembered what I had come here for. Shuddering, I bit my lip anxiously. Why did it have to be this away?
Suddenly, I was broken out of my thoughts by a broad pair of arms wrapping around my body from behind. I smiled to myself.
"Took you long enough." I turned around to face him. A smile lit his face as he gazed at me warmly, his cheeks pink from the cold.
"Hopefully, I didn't make you wait long." He stated, smoothing back his shaggy, brown hair, damp from the snow fall. I blushed, still feeling jittery around him.
"Let's sit?" He motioned towards the park bench a few meters ahead of us.
"Sit?" I stared at him questioningly. "Aren't they wet?"
"What? Afraid your butt will get cold?" I couldn't help but smile as he plopped down on the bench, eyes widening. "Shit, that's cold."
I giggled as I walked over to him. Wiping off the snow, I sat down beside him.
"It doesn't snow often, does it?" I said, almost to myself. "I can't think of anything more beautiful."
"I can…" He replied, almost inaudibly. I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye. I felt my cheeks heat up and my stomach flutter. He wasn't making this easy…
Getting up, I rubbed my backside tenderly. I could hear the crunch of snow as he got up behind me. Bending over, I picked up a handful of the white substance, spreading it over in my hands. I could feel my fingers tingle from the cold, but ignored it. Without warning, I whipped around and flung the snow at his face.
"What the?!" He spluttered as he began wiping the snow of his face. I giggled loudly, unable to suppress it for any longer. "Why you…" He bent over to retaliate, causing me to run away screaming.
"No! You idiot! I don't have a hood!" I cried, unable to find something to cover my face. Next thing I knew, the snow landed right in my mouth.
"Blech!" I spit out the melted water, glaring at him. Jerk! He was smirking! "That was cheap, you asshole!"
Picking up more snow, I threw it at him, missing.
"Your aim sucks!" He chuckled, dodging more of my snow balls.
"Quit moving!" I scolded him, still laughing. He stuck his tongue out as he ran past me, just barely missing my face again.
"That's it!" I charged at him, tackling him to the ground.
"Whoa!" He shrieked as we tumbled into a bank of snow, me on top of him. I stared into his eyes, challengingly, to which he responded with a goofy grin. I burst out laughing.
"You jerk!" I hit him softly. I pushed myself off of him, now sitting on his lap.
"You know you love me." He smirked. "That's why you tackled me. You can't stay away, can you?"
At this, I felt a knot in my stomach. That still reminded me…I didn't tell him yet…
He stared at my questioningly as I got up and walked a fair distance ahead, back turned.
"Nothing…" I said, turning around.
He got up from his feet and walked towards me. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be frowning."
I couldn't tell him.
I didn't want to tell him.
"I…" I fumbled, biting my lip. "Don't worry about it."
"It's pretty hard not to worry about it, now that you told me that I shouldn't worry." He looked at me knowingly. I averted his gaze, looking at my boots.
"Just, forget it." I sat back down on the bench we were sitting on before, my stomach knotting up. I couldn't keep delaying this. I didn't want it to be real.
I looked at him reassuringly, giving him a small smile. He returned the gesture, sitting beside me.
For a moment, there was quiet. I couldn't seem to get rid of the now permanent frown on my face. Feeling that something was wrong, he cradled my hand in his, slowly bringing it up to his lips. My heart quickened as he did this, knowing that I couldn't leave him.
Fresh tears sprang to my eyes as I tore my hand away. Sniffling, I got up and walked forward, back turned to him once again.
I heard him come up behind me and put a hand over my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine.
I can't live without him.
"Tell me what's wrong." He ordered, huskily. I shook my head, not daring to make a sound that would give away that I was crying.
"Tell me." He insisted. I shook my head.
All of a sudden, he grabbed both my shoulders and forcefully whipped me around to face him. Getting a glimpse of his worried, green eyes I could not hold it in any longer. The tears began to spill.
"Hey! Why are you crying?!" He demanded.
"I…" My voice cracked.
He embraced me tightly, as I furiously tried to wipe away my tears.
"Tell me what's wrong." He whispered in my ear.
"I'm…" I swallowed, thickly. "I… can't be with you anymore…"
I felt him stiffen as I spoke these words. He stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.
"My dad…he got transferred." I wiped away more tears. "We're moving…out of the country…"
There was silence as he digested this. Finally, he spoke.
"You're…going with him?"
"I have to…" I replied shakily. "They wouldn't let me stay."
I felt his arms wrap around me more tightly. There was more silence. It felt like it would never end. As if the world had suddenly lost all sound, and all that existed were just me and him. Only us.
"So…" His voice caught me off guard, breaking my reverie. "This is…the end…?"
At this, I couldn't control myself. I burst out into loud, agonizing sobs. My body shook as he held me tightly.
"I…don't want to leave you!" I cried. "I can't leave!"
He rubbed my back soothingly, shushing me. "I know." His breath tickled my ear as he said slowly. "I know."
"I can't live like this…" I bit my lip. "I can't leave you…"
I pulled away from him as he held my face. I stared into his piercing green eyes, filled with sadness.
He didn't want me to leave…
"I can't leave you." I repeated, shivering.
"Then don't." He said, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
"But, I can't!" I shouted, as more tears burst out of my eyes. "I can't!"
I felt ugly. My eyes swollen, my face wet with tears. This wasn't how I wanted to leave him.
"What?" I looked up at him.
"Forget everything." He said. "Everything that's happening right now."
"Just forget it all." He persisted. "Right now…just live for now."
"Live…for now?" I repeated, slowly.
"Don't think about what's going to happen." He brushed away my fresh tears. "Think about what's happening right now."
"You and me."
He leaned in as he pressed his lips against mine. Closing my eyes, I gave in, kissing him back. I would live for now. I would pretend that at this exact moment, everything was perfect. Everything was alright in the world.
And it was.
As we pulled away, we gazed into each other's eyes.
"I love you, James." I whispered.
He smiled warmly, as he kissed me again. "I love you too." He said. "And I always will…love you."