Just You and Me, Punk Rock Girl
Author's Note: This is heavily inspired (read: stolen outright) from CassandraRose526's Chance encounters of the Male Persuasion (read it, it's adorable). But since it's pretty much autobiographical, it won't be the same at all! This is pretty much a series of memoir-ish vignettes about the guys I meet through my life, the cute, the hot, the beautiful men that you know, would be kind of cool if they would be THAT guy.
The title is from "Punk Rock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen. If you consider yourself punk at all and you have not heard of the Dead Milkmen, get your ass some songs by them. They are the epitome of garage punk bands are are therefore awesome.
Chapter One: HOT!Jack
This past summer I joined a new theater group. I quickly ingratiated myself with the creative director, who had been friends with my brother for a good long year before I met him. I was in a production of Oklahoma as a chorus girl, and having a wonderful time. One day after rehearsal, the director, Greg, said they desperately needed a girl or woman to fill in for a fairy tale, Jack and the Beanstalk. The fairy tales were short children's shows they put on every month to raise enough money for rent for the rehearsal space.
Seeing as how I didn't have a life (I never do), I volunteered, and then was told I had to memorize the script in three days for a Tuesday afternoon production at the YMCA.
Now, most actors, when learning they only had three days to prepare, would use those three days to the best of their advantage. Me, being me, waited until the day of the show to even look at the script. Thanks to my memorization powers of evil, I got the script in my head, and drove to St. Louis early so that I could run the half hour show several times with the other three actors.
I got there, and saw Greg and a tall, young man packing away the set to take to the YMCA. Greg called me over, and introduced me to the young man. Seeing as how I am only five feet with some change, I had to look up at the young man. And as I did so, shaking his hand, both of us widened our eyes in shock.
James. Was. Gorgeous. He was also playing Jack. I just so happened to be playing his cow. And the Giant's wife. Awkward? Yes. But James was gorgeous. Immediately in my head I started calling him HOT!Jack. I eagerly plunged into the role. We went through it twice, and took our set pieces over to the YMCA and set up.
Once there, we ran the show again, til it was down as pat as we were ever going to get. I greatly enjoyed being the cow, you see, because at one point Jack put his arm around me to drag me to sell me for magic beans. Also, he grabbed my hand to drag me along, with me mooing in fright. It was funny, and hey, hot guy touching me, what more could I ask for?
We took a break before we ran the show for real, and as we discussed very many things I learned something even more awkward.
James had just graduated high school. He was eighteen. I was twenty-two at the time. Of course, James later told me he thought I was like, sixteen (blast my wonderful ageless genes I get from my fifty-three year old mother who looks forty and is gorgeous). Um, awkward much? Considering the crestfallen look on James' face, and my own not too enthused feelings, we both were upset by this recent development. But that didn't stop me from enjoying him putting his arm around me when we ran the show for seventy-five kids. Hey, he was legal. Even if just barely.