i am sooo sorry for the massive time it has taken me to update – as if it has been over two months?! again, im really sorry! i promise it wont be this long next time.
sorry that this chapter is bleghbleghblegh :[ its also short, but i really really wanna give you guys something, anything!

thanks to: ilovepunks; RoxyHeart; xxxsarabuddiexxx; ACKLAX3; Medusa'; Thing 1 and Thing 2.

review replies:
*its been mentioned by some of you that you think Beck acts all weird – sleeping with Maddie, checking out Adrianna, acting nonchalant about everything. this is only from Maddie's – she doesn't really know what he feels/who he likes. just thought id clear it up (:

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! 98 REVIEWS ALREADY?!

(i own nothing recognisable; song and title credit goes to Miley Cyrus.)


09. Don't make me have to choose between what I want and what you think I need.


Alex and I had been together a few months now. Things were pretty much back to normal now. I didn't worry about him cheating on me anymore; various things that he did proved that our love was more than enough for him.

There was only one thing that niggled in the back of my mind, slightly. Alex had become rather possessive of me – not in an abusive way; just in a way that he didn't want me out of his sight for a long time. It was quite flattering, I guess, but it was somewhat annoying if I wanted to just chill at home or watch a movie with Adrianna.

It was already hard to schedule time with Dria, due to her relationship with Tristan. She absolutely loved him; so much so that, as she confided in me over the phone, she totally didn't have any romantic feelings for Beck anymore.

Speaking of Beck – I saw him a lot now that Alex and I were properly back together. We were always going out to meals and nightclubs with him. I kept the PDA down when Beck was around, feeling mean that I'd suddenly had to hang out with the two best friends. That was Alex's need to be with me at all times kicking in. Honestly though, I totally got along with Beck – providing that I forget that we had sex less than six months ago; we had so much in common, from our immense love of pink jellybeans to our immense hate of Draco Malfoy.

Currently, I was at home, working on my History essay. I was stuck – there was only so much I could write about the World Wars; unfortunately, this essay was a quarter of my final grade so it needed to be good. There had to be someone online who could help me. I logged onto AIM, checking who was online, when a name popped into my head:

Beck!

Beck was in my History class – I was in AP History, therefore with Beck's class – I'd just ring him and ask him to help me out.

"Hello," Beck answered on the second ring.

"Hey, it's me," which was a pretty lame thing to say because his iPhone obviously had caller ID.

"What's up?" he asked casually. His voice was all sorts of growly – in a hot way, not in a roar-I'm-a-bear way – and I tried to ignore how I had always been a sucker for deep, manly voices. Don't get me wrong: Alex's voice wasn't anywhere near as high as Justin Bieber's – but it also wasn't as manly as, say, Beck's. "Maddie?" Beck's voice shook my thoughts away.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Ur, I was wondering what else to put on our history essays? It's due tomorrow, right, and so I thought you could help me out, you big history geek."

Silence. "It's in for tomorrow?"

"You haven't done it." This was a statement, not a question. "Well, hey, why don't you come over here and do it? Two birds, one stone."

"Sure," he said, "I'll be there in five. Want me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself should be fine." I tried to ignore the fact that I had unwillingly just flirted with Beck. "Later."

True to his word, Beck arrived five minutes later. My mom let him in – I had a niggling feeling that my mom absolutely adored Beck. Even now, she didn't act as warm to Alex as she used to. I guess it took her longer than me to forgive.

"Knock, knock." Beck walked into my room, carrying his history folder and a brown paper bag. I shot him a pointed look. "I know you told me not to bring anything, but I felt really rude. Anyway, it's your favourite!"

Inside the bag was a tub of Ben & Jerry's Banana Split ice-cream. "Beck, you are the greatest." I stood up and walked over to my dresser, rooting through the drawer. "Catch." I threw him a mini bag of jellybeans. He smirked at me, shaking his head, but ripped open the bag anyways, instantly eating the pink ones. I smirked back and dug into the delicious ice cream.

Two hours later, we were finally done. Miraculously, I hadn't had one phone call off of Alex during this time. Casually mentioning it to Beck, he replied that Alex had gone to play football with some of their friends.

"You guys are okay, right?" Beck asked, curiously.

"Yeah, we're really good, thanks." I decided to omit the fact that Alex was a tad possessive – it wasn't like he was doing it abusively, he was just getting used to having me to himself again.

Beck nodded his head. "So, er, it's my eighteenth birthday next weekend. I wanted to invite you – like, I knew you'd come along with Alex anyways, but I wanted to invite you."

"Of course I'll come, Beck!" I said in all seriousness, smiling. "I mean, it's the –"

I was cut off by the familiar ringtone of my phone. I checked the screen, knowing full well who it would be – Alex. I smiled apologetically to Beck, before answering: "Hey, Alex..."

I smirked at Tristan's face. His eyes were bugged out, his mouth wide open, as he caught sight of Adrianna in an LBD. She truly did look stunning with her short dress, sky high heels and curled hair. And the reason for looking so fancy? Tonight was the night of Beck's party.

I was wearing a maxi dress in black and purple, accessorised with black heels and a black clutch. My hair was poker straight and down.

I was going with Alex – Tristan and Dria would go to the party in Tristan's car – but Alex wasn't waiting in the lobby of the Wilding household, as he generally did. "He's in his room," Adrianna told me, before leaving with Tristan.

I walked back up the stairs, knocking on Alex's door. "Alex, it's me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He sounded distracted. Entering the room, I found out why: he was trying – and failing – to do his tie. I smiled fondly and walked up to him, brushing his hands away and tying his tie in a knot.

"You look very handsome," I complimented him, kissing his softly. He was dressed in a black shirt, black slacks and a purple tie. I suspected that Adrianna was involved in the matching outfits that the two of us sported.

"And you look beautiful," he replied, "as usual." He stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. "I love you – so much."

"I love you too; but, we are going to be late." I dragged him by his hand to the door. "And being late to your best friend's birthday party isn't going to make Beck love you."

We walked hand in hand to his car. I climbed into the passenger seat, instantly threading our fingers together. Hey, Alex might be a little possessive, but I loved him regardless. We chatted aimlessly all the way to Beck's house, proving that our love wasn't as superficial as I had once suspected.

I had never been to Beck's house before, nor had I known how rich his family was. Judging by his Aston Martin, sure, he was rich – but this was something else. It was huge and elaborate, the double doors accented by two marble pillars. "Wow." I muttered under my breath. Alex chuckled at me, leading the way into the James home.

We walked into the main foyer full of grinding kids and flashing lights. Beck had really gone all out. I didn't notice a lot of people; it seemed that there were a lot of college kids here too. Noticing this, Alex grabbed my hand tightly as we weaved our way through the dancing teenagers.

He led me into a room that, if I'd been alone, I would have missed. Beck was sat inside, chatting to some guy. The two of them turned to look at us when we walked in. Beck looked... well, incredible. I know I have a boyfriend – whom I love dearly – but it's okay to look. He was dressed in a black shirt, grey slacks and black pointy shoes: nothing special, but he pulled it off. I then looked at the other guy. He looked... exactly like Beck?!

Beck must have noticed my confused face. "Maddie, hey," he said, before gesturing to his clone next to him. "This is my twin brother, Caden."

"I didn't know you had a twin," I mumbled, before smiling at Caden. "Hey."

He may have looked identical to Beck but his personality seemed totally different. He smiled shyly at me and nodded. "Beck, I'm going to go. Jenny's waiting for me outside." To Alex and me: "See you later, guys."

I was still reeling over there being another hottie from the James family. Alex walked toward Beck, slapping him on the back. "Happy birthday, dude."

I too walked forward, thinking I was probably acting like a weirdo in some sort of trance. "Happy birthday, Beck." I handed him the gift bag that was from both me and Alex; Alex was also taking him out to see a basketball game later this week.

Beck smiled and thanked me, grabbing me into a hug. I tensed, thinking of when we had last been this close together, but relaxed soon after. Sneaking a peek at Alex, I noticed that he didn't look annoyed or confused, so why would I think like that? It was just a simple hug between friends, that's all.

I chatted with the boys for a few minutes, but was interrupted by my ringtone.

It was Dria. "Girl, are you here yet?"

I moved out of the room, mouthing 'one sec' to Alex and Beck. It was too loud out in the lounge, now transformed into a dance floor, so I walked into the kitchen. Surprisingly, I was alone; unsurprisingly, I always seemed to end up in the kitchen at parties.

"Yeah, I'm here. And Dria, why didn't you tell me Beck had a twin? I was seriously confused when I saw two of them."

"Beck has a twin?" Adrianna sounded totally perplexed. "Like, identical twin?"

"Yeah," I replied. "He looks exactly like Beck; only, he seems a lot shyer."

"Wow. Can't believe I dated him for over two months and he didn't even tell me. Where are you right now?"

"The kitchen," I deadpanned. "I'm such a loser. You?"

"I'm outside with Tristan, just cuddling and stuff." She sounded totally happy and I was glad. Even Alex didn't openly hate Tristan anymore, because he made Dria so happy.

We hung up shortly after, Dria going back to cuddle Tristan 'and stuff' and me to find Alex. He was in the room where I'd left him, but he was alone. "Hey, where's Beck?" I asked, walking up to him. "You're all alone."

"I was waiting for you." He smiled at me, curling a tendril of my hair around his finger. "Who was on the phone?"

"Dria," I replied, leaning into his touch. "Want to dance?" He hadn't asked who was on the phone to keep tabs on me, he was just interested. Day by day, it was getting harder to convince myself – but my love for Alex still grew. That I was sure of.