2It took me a long time to realize that just because you love someone, doesn't mean you'll be with them until the end of time. It doesn't even mean that they'll love you back.
It took me an even longer time to realize that just because the media says that girls like boys, and boys like girls, it doesn't mean that everyone feels like that.
Sometimes, you can realize that you accidentally fell in love with your best friend, even though she's a girl too. And you can realize that suddenly the world is a terrifying place where you don't belong.
Sometimes, you realize that you like wearing boys' clothes better than the dresses your father buys. You realize that you're disgusted with your body because it doesn't match your brother's. Sometimes, you look out at the world and feel like exploding, so your guts go all over the place because you just feel so damn ugly.
But sometimes, the worst thing to realize is that people are unpredictable.
(Even the ones you thought you had figured out.)
Like when you finally tell that best friend of yours that you love her, and she says that she loves you too, and you go out together and stand by each others' sides as the world throws shit in your faces, but you don't care because you love each other and you think you'll be together forever, no matter what, and so you decide to tell her that you want to be a boy.
And then, after checking your mail fifty times every day without getting a single message from her, you realize that something isn't right. You realize that the one person who you thought loved you (no matter what), the one who you loved (no matter what), doesn't love you, "No matter what."
And then you realize that you have no idea what to do now.
Yes, I realize that there is a wonderful run-on sentence in this, and it was done on purpose. Style choice to portray the hurried-ness of teenage love, I suppose you could say. This is old and resolved, but I like it and thought it worth posting. Thanks for reading.