Its official, my eyes are the color of poop.

My dad says that they are chocolaty-brown, but he has to think I'm pretty; he is my father for crying out loud! The sad thing is, I wish they were chocolaty-brown, because then, they would be considered semi-attractive. But no, I am the girl stuck with poop colored eyeballs.

I used to think I was okay looking, but that was before I met Evan. he is the hottest guy I have ever met. Seriously, when I first saw him my heart went hummah, hummah. Compared to him, I am Cinderella's ugly stepsister, with freakishly long fingernails….

Oh my god, how could I let them get so long! When I first glanced at them I thought it was a mistake of the light or something, but that nail is 100% real. I must find nail clipper. To find said nail clipper, I must clean black hole room. Must remember why I let room get so dirty in the first place. Must order pizza. Must stop getting off topic.

Ah. Yes. Must find said nail clipper.

I frantically ran around my room trying to find that stupid thing. No such luck, after about twenty seconds I gave up. Gosh, I must have the attention span of a toothpick.

*Sigh* if only I was as skinny as a toothpick. But sadly I am the girl version of Barney, minus the purple. At least I am brilliant. Okay, brilliant-ish.

But sometimes I can have brilliant ideas. Thankfully this is one of those times.

Must steal clipper from big sisters room…

I slipped into the hallway like a detective on a case, I was awesome. Until, of course, I ruined it by having a spazz attack, and ran right back into my room. I slammed the door and pressed my back against it. I was not too good under pressure. I get nervous whenever I try to do something remotely fun or interesting.

I was one of the girls who was on the crew instead of cast in a drama production. I was a blender.

(Not in the smoothie maker kind of way, the, I blend into crowds, kind of way.)

I must get over Evan, because the only way he would ever go out with me, is if I was the last girl on earth.

Maybe not even then.

The prettiest girl I have ever seen, and I was moved across the street from her.

We first met when her, her dad, and her sister, came to give us cookies as a house warming gift. The cookies were oddly shaped, but sure smelled good. We were out sitting on the patio when they rang our door bell.

"Be gentlemen, and get the door for me Evan, I'll follow soon after. They must be the neighbors, and I want to look presentable."

My mom was wearing jeans, and a t-shirt. I thought she looked okay, but obviously she wanted to impress the family that we now lived across the street from.

"Yes. be a gentlemen." My big brother Cole was chewing a handful of microwave popcorn when he said this, which, as a result, leads me to be covered with Cole spit. Cole was always making fun of me, but I was sure to get even with him later. It would be fun.

"Do I have to? They are probably a bunch of perky neighbors who won't leave us alone for the rest of eternity. It's probably best not to encourage them." My mom gave me a stern look, which meant get up or I will make your life a living hell.

I ignored her, and continued to eat popcorn with my brother.

That was not a good idea.

She came up to me and started hitting me with a patio cushion, I tried swatting her away, but that only made her hit me harder. She was like monster that had five cans of Red Bull.

"Fine… FINE, I'll get the stupid door, don't rush me woman!" I reluctantly sat up, and got off the chair.

"Thank you, dear." My mom smiled sweetly, but I knew she was devious. She had grown up with six brothers. She knew how to deal with guys. She disappeared into the house, probably changing into a ballroom dress.

She never did know how to act casual.

I walked into the house and went up to the front door. But before doing so, glimpsed at myself in the hallway mirror we put up a few hours ago. I looked like I had slept in a truck, with nothing to eat but fast food for two days. Plus, a little dried drool on my check.

Eeh, it's not like I cared.

I swung the door open with a bored expression on my face. That's when I saw her.

She had medium length brown hair, and huge chocolate-brown eyes, her lips where pink and she had cream-like skin. I could stare at her all day….

Whoa! Snap out of It Evan, you're a tough, manly man. And you do not say the words cream-like. If any of the guys found out you just thought those thoughts, you would be beat up. So what, she was a little hot. You do not go around thinking girlish thoughts! Pink lips! Are you crazy! It's just a girl!

A girl whose beauty shines brighter than the sun.

Where did that come from! Who am I? Shakespeare!? God, I must seem like an idiot right now. The family is standing there, holding out cookies, waiting for a thank-you. And what am I doing, you ask? This butthead is staring at the man's daughter, with a blank expression on his face.

I have officially lost it.

That is the only reasonable explanation.

I continue to stare until the girl's sister clears her throat and looks up from her cell phone, with an amused expression on her face.

"Aren't you going to, like, take the cookies?"

I reply by slamming the door in all their faces.

I quickly run upstairs and slam my bedroom door, putting my back against it.

I must have insulted the family immensely, but I can't worry about that now. All I can think about is that girl, who must think I'm the stupidest thing she has ever met.

I mean, imagine it from her point of view.

She comes to a complete stranger's house to give them a present, thinking that it would make them feel better about the move. And then gangly teenager who looks like he hasn't showered in a week slams a door in your face.

What was I thinking? Oh yeah.i was thinking something along the lines of, beghafoierugfeghuies.

The only way she would ever talk to me again, is if I was the last guy on the planet.

Maybe not even then.