Suicide, it is quite ironic how this is the fate that will realise me from this prison humans we apparently call life. The ocean below looks rather far from the cliff edge I stand upon. The sharp large rocks are close to where I suppose I would land, when I do eventually jump. As each of the high waves of the sea crash against the rocks it makes my head pound with the noise. So loud, so powerful, the sea almost seems to be calling towards me. It's almost enough to make me afraid, but not enough to stop me from my horrible fate.

It made me think of how I would die would I jump to close toward the sharp rocks and tear through my soft flesh and break my bones, or would I jump farther enough to get dragged under by the tremendously powerful waves. Water would slowly fill my lungs, and then I would wait until I am finally free of this world. Sometimes I think why was I put upon this earth only to take myself from it?

Everything has just become too much to bear, I guess I am weak, a coward. But what can I do? I was doomed to this fate ever since the caress of the cheek, and the kisses that came afterwards 'Caleb, my sweet Caleb' I could never be with him, my father would kill him, then me afterward for being an abomination. I am dead in my father's eyes because I love another man. Maybe if my mother was still alive I could have loved whoever I wanted.

Tears spilled from my eyes, why did I love another man, he was the only person that would love me because of me. I didn't want to love him back but I couldn't stop myself. My father found out and was going to kill my Caleb, so I killed my father for this god forsaken love. I hadn't felt any remorse I hadn't even shed a tear, I felt happy. I really was sick, I couldn't handle it. I had to die. When I found Caleb he saw the blood on my hands and was frightened, he called me psycho. I had hurt him; I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had hurt him.

The sorrow will soon consume my soul, it hurts so much. I jump slightly as thunder rumbles above me; the bright sun's ray's trying to seep through the clouds. The sun such a beautiful thing, I would never be able to lay eyes upon again. I loved watching sunsets and feeling the last heat from the sun's rays as night would fall.

But I would never see its beauty or feel its warmth ever again. I breathe in deeply smelling the sweet saltiness of the ocean. I smile because I know it will all be over soon, I will be at peace at the bottom of the ocean, by myself for eternity that is the way it should end. I deserve to be alone forever. I am tainted, poison, it is best that Caleb hates me. I think it's for the best, Caleb deserves someone better, someone that would make him smile, someone that would hold him tight as if the world would end if they let go. Someone like me. But it could never be me.

Love that word that horrible word is the whole reason I am in this mess.

But I did love and I loved it, I remember the first kiss we had together, he was so careful. Caleb had such inviting lips, so soft, so warm. It had left me confused when he walked away afterward. He left me there with the tingling sensation, still lingering upon my lips. I wanted more, so much more. I still do my heart aches towards him. And it should sicken me, I try to make it sicken me, but it feels so right to love him.

I know the only way to stop me feeling this way is to die. I breath in deeply again, the strong wind pushing me to jump. Just as I bend my knees and it all would be over, I hear a hoarse, sweet voice screaming for me to stop. I turn around and am face to face with the Caleb, his looks worn out. His beautiful icy blue eyes were red and puffy from crying, much like my own. His lean body is as gorgeous as ever, but there is something wrong, he does not smile Caleb looks so sad. Realisation hits me knowing it is me that has caused him to be sad, more of the reason to kill myself. Caleb walks closer towards me, silent tears spill from my eyes.

"Caleb, leave, this is my fate not yours" I try to tell him but he wont listen, instead he takes my hand in his own. A familiar spark sets of from the touch, he looks at me deeply and whispers:

"My fate, Sebastian, was always yours too" I lean in closer and kiss his lips one last time.

"I thought you hated me" I whispered upon his lips, relishing the new taste, I never knew the taste of death could be so sweet.

Caleb pulled back and said "I could never hate you, my love" We smile at each other and jump; I close my eyes and hold onto my Caleb as we both fell to our deaths. My first assumption as to how I would die was right.

The sharp rocks cut into our flesh, Caleb's neck must have broken straight away. My death was slower, paralysed from neck down I didn't feel the blood seep through my clothing. I didn't feel my ribs break crushing my once full beating heart. My eyes began to blur as I turned my head and looked towards our entwined fingers, and smile. Slowly my breathing stops and blackness consumes me. Then I see a bright light so beautiful, so inviting. I walk towards it, but I am not alone. My best friend, my lover, Caleb is on my right side walking with me into heaven. Our fingers still entwined, a smile touches my lips and silent tears yet again fall from my eyes as I think, 'not even death, will prevent this love'