11A/N: Oh dear. It's a bit lengthy. :/ Ehehe. Well. I haven't written a fluffy short in a while, so it's a bit rusty. I hope you enjoy. :3 I don't own Legally Blonde. I might edit this up in the near future if I feel up to it.
She was cool, mysterious - a goddess.
It all started one terrible, rainy day. School had let out, and he had waived a ride home from a friend. Because all his classes were in the main building of the school, it was not until he walked out the east entrance that he realized it was pouring.
California weather had betrayed him.
But water couldn't hurt, could it? He figured if he dashed home, it would only take around ten minutes, even with his AP biology book and calculus BC book hugged against his chest and cocoa messenger bag slamming against his right hip. He took three steps before slipping down the mud-caked steps of the entrance.
He made it five more steps before sliding across the sidewalk and landing on his back, the victim of worn down soles. A passing car splashed a sepia liquid across his front.
He heard a low laugh and looked up. He was starstruck. She was gorgeous. Long black hair fell over her shoulders; her eyes twinkled more than the stars he saw after falling; and a celestial aura stroked her body (though the latter was simply the sunlight shining through her translucent blue umbrella). An angel was looking down on him.
"Angel?"
Oh dear. Did he say it aloud?
"Uhh... I said angle. The angle I fell down at hurt my bum really badly." He slapped himself inwardly. He must have sounded really lame. She smiled softly and extended a hand. A rainbow shimmered behind her halo.
"Come on. Where do you live? I'll walk you home."
He was in love.
Thus, began his spark-a-romance-with-the-mysterious-girl plan. After half a day of research, he discovered more than her name being Renee. She was 5'6". She was an Aries. Her eye color was brown (but flecked hazel spots in sunlight). She was a B-cup.
And they shared one heavenly class together: second period AP Psychology.
He gazed at her lovingly one Friday.
"Dude, what are you doing? You're creeping me out." Tony snapped his right hand's fingers in front of Garvey's face (his left was occupied with a careless thumb war against Allison).
"She's divine..." He went into a half-swoon when Renee tossed back her hair.
"Man, you are a serious creeper," Tony rolled his eyes. "If you're so into her, why not try talking to her?"
Garvey jumped back in his seat, aghast. "Me? Talk to... to... to... Renee?" He grinned widely as he spoke her name slowly, his tongue enjoying every syllable. He did a small smack with his lips before continuing. "You know what? You're right. I will."
The next few minutes, Garvey scribbled furiously while the rest of the class chattered away. Within the time period, he came up with a carefully thought out plan. He looked down triumphantly at the bullet points.
_ Bump into Renee. Look surprised, then wittily refer back to the angel incident (this was what he named their meeting in the rain).
_ Get her hair stuck in wristwatch. Converse suavely as I gently remove the strands from my clasp.
_ Do the bend and snap. (When performed correctly, it has a 99.99% success rate on straight men - so why not Renee?)
_ Knock over her lunch, then buy her another and sit with her at lunch.
_ Offer an umbrella to Renee on Monday. Weather reports say it's going to rain that day too.
The bell rang, and Garvey scurried off to enact bullet point one of his carefully thought out plan - the classic bump. He ran two locker groups down the hallway, before halting, spinning, and locking eyes upon his target exiting towards the other direction. He ironed his face, then walked briskly, to brush against her.
He brushed against her a bit too hard. She stumbled and hit the lockers to her right.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Garvey rushed to her side and attempted to help her up, but only made the situation worse when Renee's hair got stuck in his watch.
"Ow! Stop! It hurts!" A few onlookers eyed the couple on the floor warily.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Garvey apologized profusely, blushing redder than firecracker. His mind flew back to his list. Witty. Suave. He took a deep breath. "Um. Rain. Umbre-eh-ella," He gulped. "Ella." He freed her hair.
"Not a fan of that song," Renee grimaced at Garvey as she got up and patted herself off. "I remember you. You're from the rain last week. You sure are graceful. Be a bit more careful, yeah?" She walked away, leaving Garvey standing alone, defeated.
But not defeated completely. He whipped out his checklist and drew two bold x's.
x Bump into Renee. Look surprised, then wittily refer back to the angel incident.
x Get her hair stuck in wristwatch. Converse suavely as I gently remove the strands from my clasp.
_ Do the bend and snap.
_ Knock over her lunch, then buy her another and sit with her at lunch.
_ Offer an umbrella to Renee on Monday. Weather reports say it's going to rain that day too.
The first two attempts meshed together to create a failure, but he wasn't out of options. Next on his list was a specialty of his - he perfected it the day he watched Legally Blonde. He was a master at it. He just had to catch her during a passing period.
He found his chance during the transition from third to fourth period. She crossed the intersecting hallways his group of friends lurked by. He eyed her, timing carefully when she'd pass him by, then suddenly dropped (or threw) out his pencil.
"Just bend..." He muttered to himself, picking up his pencil. "And snap!" He snapped back sharply, then turned quickly to see Renee's reaction. She had not noticed at all. She entered her next classroom, chattering happily with a friend. Sighing dejectedly, he turned back to his group of friends to continue their conversation on theorycraft; however, they were silent. Albert spoke up first.
"Hey, Garvey... you know, I'm going to the mall to get my sister a birthday present this weekend. Do you... you know... want to come along?"
Garvey gritted his teeth. The next point was foolproof. He had a lot of experience knocking over lunches (mainly, his own), so there was no way he would mess this up. He glanced around the corner of the wall and saw her approaching. He ran forward.
They collided. Her lunch flew up, then down onto her luscious, raven hair. Success. He opened his mouth to apologize.
"Oh, I am so sorry!" Garvey quickly picked the tray off of her hair. The milk did not come off as easily. He frowned. That could be a problem. He took his own napkin and started dabbing her face as she looked at him, disgusted. "Look, I really am sorry! I can buy you another lunch!"
"Buying me another lunch isn't going to get this gunk out of my hair!" Renee screeched. "You have got to be kidding me. Stop - stop. Just stop, right now. I know you don't mean to bump into me and stuff, but you're just so damn clumsy, I don't know what you're going to do next - I said stop!" Garvey stopped. Lily and Ashley helped her up off the floor.
"Ughh. You're going to smell like a rotten cow the rest of the day," Ashley laughed, before giving Garvey the stink eye. "Good job, dork." The trio headed off to the girl's restroom.
That was bad. Garvey slowly collected the remains of Renee's lunch to throw away. That was really bad. He took a deep breath. But it was okay. He took out his checklist and made one more cross.
x Bump into Renee. Look surprised, then wittily refer back to the angel incident.
x Get her hair stuck in wristwatch. Converse suavely as I gently remove the strands from my clasp.
x Do the bend and snap.
x Knock over her lunch, then buy her another and sit with her at lunch.
_ Offer an umbrella to Renee on Monday. Weather reports say it's going to rain that day too.
It was okay, because he still had one more option. And it was going to work. He just knew it would. It had to.
He rushed to school that Monday, eagerly awaiting his moment. It was perfect. It would rain. He would dash to the east entrance. She would be there, wondering sadly what to do. He would saunter in sexily, twirling his umbrella and save the day. He did not even bother trying to bump into her that day - he would have plenty of time to apologize and talk to her later that day, with a melodic drizzle to romantically accompany their walk.
"You seem awfully happy today," Tony noted, snapping the fingers of his left hand in front of Garvey's face (his right was engaged in an exciting arm wrestling match against Allison).
"Today is the day," Garvey cackled. "Today is the day."
"Man, you are a serious creeper."
When the sixth period bell rang, he joyfully skipped to the doors. Oh, beauteous gloom! Cloudy skies! Rai-...rain?! Garvey blinked a few times, bewildered. There was no rain. At all. Students exited this way and that a way, all completely unwet.
California weather had betrayed him once again.
That day, he lost completely. He rechecked the weather reports with dismay - it would be sunny all week. Even Mother Nature did not want him to succeed with Renee. He threw his pencil angrily at his bedroom wall. It took all he had to even go to school the next day.
But, he did. Unhappily, he watched her that day in AP Psychology, as he fingered his checklist.
x Bump into Renee. Look surprised, then wittily refer back to the angel incident.
x Get her hair stuck in wristwatch. Converse suavely as I gently remove the strands from my clasp.
x Do the bend and snap.
x Knock over her lunch, then buy her another and sit with her at lunch.
x Offer an umbrella to Renee on Monday. Weather reports say it's going to rain that day too.
Where did he go wrong? He malevolently stuffed the list in his back pocket. He went through the rest of the day with a melancholy air. He drudgingly trudged through the mayhem of teenagers to leave school.
Stepping down the stairs of the east entrance, he espied her from the corner of his eye and sighed wistfully. It was over. Only a miracle could spark anything between them. The classic bumps and bend and snaps and lunch plans could not even help him, and to top it all off, she was probably still angry at him. Then, he overheard her gentle voice cry out a complaint.
"Man, it's hot today." He winced up angrily at the sun. It really was hot that day - what was wrong with the weather? Just yesterday, it should have been raining. Then, in the midst of his staring contest against the sun, a sudden idea sparked in his mind. He stuck his hand into his messenger bag and groped around for his umbrella.
It was there.
He ran up to her and clumsily fiddled with the umbrella until it shot open.
"Here!" He wheezed a little. The run took a lot out of him, but not enough to stop him from victoriously speaking his next few words. "I'd like to return the favor. How about I walk you home this time?"
"Um. You know, it's not raining," She quirked an eyebrow, while backing up a little, fearful he might fly into her and knock her down the rest of the stairs.
He didn't. Instead, he smirked and replied, "But it's awfully sunny, isn't it?"
Renee's eyes widened slightly with realization and she laughed. "Yes... Yes, you're right. It is," She slid under the shade of the umbrella, then turned to him with a coy smile. "In fact, I heard it's going to be sunny all week."
They began walking. Garvey pulled the crumpled checklist out of his back pocket and tossed it behind them.