It always starts the exact same. I'm standing alone in an open field. There's no houses around me and the sky is clear, that's how I know that it isn't near Toronto. I swear that I can smell the grass as the wind blows it gently around me.
I run. I run like there's no tomorrow. I can feel the grass tickling my bare feet, the dress that I'm wearing billows out around me.
It is complete bliss, the most complete freedom that I have ever known. I know that I am free, for the first time in my life that I can remember I am free. There are no more problems, no more fear of going back home. I know that there will be no more tears and that nothing will ever hurt me again.
The realization of freedom is always what wakes me up. The surprise that I don't have to be afraid any more.
It's always the same afterwards to. I wake up to sit up in my small bed in my average, semi-cluttered bedroom, just to realize that I'm going to have to start a new day in the exact same routine.
I'll continue on with the day, turning off my alarm clock and getting dressed in time to sneak out of the house before my parents are awake for the day. I'll go to school, I'll probably get into trouble for not paying attention, then I'll come home to a house that I don't want to be in. At the end of the day I'll get to go to bed and finally return to that dream world where for a brief moment in each of my days, I get to feel like I'm free.