4Can You Fight Yourself And Win?
By Poisoned Twinkles
I am weak.
I am nothing but glass, a façade, the cover of the book, but not the book itself.
I shatter at the touch of the greater ones.
I have always wanted to be praised, and if I have not been praised, I try to convince myself that I was not the one in the wrong. I convince myself that there was something about me that had to be praised.
I'm at a loss for words for my pride, which is strong, has been stung. And the worse part is, I know that I needed to be stung, to be hit, to feel the pain, for this ego is not a keeper. It must be lost. It must melt into the shadows of acceptance.
Acceptance of one's flaws.
Acceptance of one's weaknesses.
I am nothing but a hypocrite.
Deemed to be sagacious, I closed my heart to realization, not knowing that the consequences will be my own tears, my own hurt.
Now I ask myself... Was I meant to be like this in the first place? Or was it my own self-righteousness that led me to renew myself in ways that would only bring about the things I dread the most?
I say I am a believer.
But after this epiphany, can I even have the assurance that I will be able to believe in myself? To trust myself? Can I fight myself and win? Can I remake myself to become not the glass, but the content? The book, and not the cover?
The only conclusion I have come up with to convince myself that I have hope, yet, is that I have realized. I have turned my dusk into dawn, and my dawn into dusk. I have been struck, so therefore I must erect myself once more.
It seems that I have lost the battle...
for now.
A/N: Thanks to those who read and reviewed, particularly KRHolbrooke (is this correct? ^^')