Oh internet

Please

Come back

I'm so bored.

Drawing gets

Tiring after a while

As does typing

Stupid poems

And letting them

Sit

In my documents

For all eternity

Taking up dust.

I tried other things

Like television

Painting

Making dinner

Sleeping

But I'm so bored.

Oh Internet

Please come back

I'm so bored.

Oh Internet

Please, please

Please come back

I'm beyond bored

My radio is half-broken

My television is all broke.

I ran out of paint.

I don't have any more food and

I've had twenty hours of sleep

Now.

Oh internet, I think

That you're laughing at me.

Dear Internet,

You suck.

I only have faint memories, now

Of the wonders I once could do

I could listen to music

Watch people do stupid things

Talk to friends with

AOL

AIM

And

Skype.

Be creepy with

Twitter and stalk others with

Face book.

Laugh and be average with

MLIA

And feel bad for others while reading

FML.

Write in a digital journal with

Live journal

And argue with others over

YouTube videos.

Dear Internet,

I'm so bored.

Hey Internet,

I fixed my radio.

My television still doesn't work.

And you

Are still

Gone.

Internet, I think I

Hate

You.

Internet,

You must be a bastard child.

It is the

Only explanation

For how evil you

Are.

Internet, I want

To murder you

But

You are already dead.

Hey Internet,

What's up?

Why aren't you here?

Where you stabbed?

I hope you were.

To my best friend Internet,

Please come back.

I didn't mean that I wanted you to be stabbed or that I wanted to

Murder you.

I was lying.

Please, can you at least be back for five minutes so I can check my e-mail?

Internet, my friend,

You haven't come back yet.

Do you hate me or something?

Because I love you.

Internet…

'Net,

This isn't funny anymore.

My boredom has reached levels I did not know existed.

I fed my fish.

And the parakeets.

And the gecko.

And the other fish.

I might have to

Sacrifice them in a ritual

To get you back.

Do you want

The lives

Of

Several

Poor

Defenseless

Animals to be

On your hands?

Dear Internet,

I wouldn't really

Kill animals to get you back.

But I might feed them

A little

Less.

Okay Internet that was a lie.

I can't hurt animals.

But

Do you

Know what I can

Hurt?

You.

So you better come back now.

Or you'll feel the pain.

Internet,

I'm gonna put the mafia

On

Your

Ass.

Dear my bestest friend Internet,

You

Came

BACK!

Thank you.

I think

I should say

Thank you

Again.

Thank you.

Yo, Inter-net.

See you soon.

Thanks for coming back.

-Your friend