Kate Wallace 10.8

Cowardice

She ran a hand along the cold glass window, head bowed and eyes on the floor. A tear slid down her cheek, and she frowned, biting her lip in frustration.

"You are not going to cry, Janie! Not again. Not ever." Her voice was a choked, hoarse whisper. When was the last time you spoke? She asked herself. Janie shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

It wasn't working.

She walked down the corridor, long glass windows lining the walls on either side. Her eyes drifted to the city below, and she gasped involuntarily. Tearing her attention away, she collapsed to the floor, shuddering breaths wracking her thin, pale frame.

I haven't eaten in two days.

The thought struck her out of the blue, and Janie scowled, hunger all of a sudden rearing its ugly head in the pit of her stomach. She had spent the past couple of days in this empty office block. It was safe there – no supplies, no weapons, and most of all no people. There was nothing of value in the dingy building, and that was exactly what Janie had been looking for.

I'm going to have to find food soon, but it's not safe out there. Not anymore.

"The whole world's gone insane," she muttered bitterly, running a grimy hand through her hair irritably. Things had turned upside down about a month ago. This new drug had been released – perfectly legal – that was meant to cure anything. There were side effects, of course, but the worst of them hadn't shown itself for a couple of weeks. At first people felt healthy, happy, and content. Everyone started buying it, regardless of whether they were sick or not.

For a few short weeks, almost everyone was happy. The drug itself was a small pill that was easy to swallow and tasted foul, but that was soon ignored.

People went insane. It started small – only a handful of the populace and a few side-effects. Then it started getting big. Janie didn't trust the stuff, so she didn't take any, no matter how many times people bugged her to. Her family was hooked, and she didn't want to end up like them; dependant on the drug for any happiness at all.

Then the shit really hit the fan.

Everyone really started going mad. They would try and kill anything and anyone on sight. It didn't matter if it was their friends, family, or their own lovers. Then they started eating the corpses. Janie had never gotten the image out of her head. She had walked into the lounge room to find her brother crouched over the couch like an animal, blood covering his face and hands, dripping thickly onto the creamy carpet.

Her parents lay on the brown leather, their eyes wide, mouths gaping, and throats torn open. Half of Janie's mother's face had been torn away, revealing the muscles, bone and part of her eyeball.

She'd started screaming without thinking, running out of the room and through the front door, silent tears streaming down her face.

It's only a dream. It's only a dream. It's only a dream! Janie howled in her mind, sprinting down the street.

As it turned out, it was quite the opposite.

She had spent the last week in a waking nightmare of corpses and carnage. More and more people had lost their sanity, reduced to vicious drooling animals with a lust for human flesh. Janie didn't know if there was anyone else still alive and- and- human, but she didn't want to find out. That would mean leaving the safety of the building.

She really didn't want to risk it, and yet…

It was a tempting idea, arming herself to the teeth and setting out on a quest to find survivors. But she couldn't do it. She just couldn't. Janie wasn't a fighter, she was a coward, and it had always been that way. Things certainly weren't going to change just because she wanted them to. In fact–

Wait, what's that? Janie had slipped her hands into the pockets of her fleecy jacket in order to keep them warm, but there was something else in there. Reaching into her pocket, she felt a small powdery object. It was round, that was a definite, and seemed to have some form of writing on it.

When Janie tugged her hand from her pocket, it brought with it a small white pill. She clapped a hand to her mouth, eyes wide.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me…" Maybe someone's trying to tell me something.

It was the same drug that had sent everyone insane. Janie remembered her mother attempting to get her to try it, but she had refused. Her mum had then slipped the pill into her pocket, saying that she would change her mind eventually.

Maybe that time had come after all. Janie sighed, peering out the window at the city below. The world had changed, and she wasn't sure she could adapt along with it. They live like animals…No, we live like animals… "And die like insects," she whispered. All of a sudden, Janie felt numb. I don't matter, she told herself, hands clutching the small white pill protectively. I can't change the world. I'll just die and become food for everyone else. I don't- I don't- I can't-

She was shaking – Janie could tell – as she slipped the drug into her mouth.

At least this way I'll go out happy.

As the drug took hold of her mind, filling her with warm contentedness, one last thought slipped through:

Coward.