Soft hands brushing my hair until it shines
Gentle hands plaiting my unruly hair until its out of my face
A calming voice reading me my favourite stories until I know them off by heart
Your living room always warm, always a safe place for me
Your TV playing alice in wonderland in the background when im falling asleep
Your sweet smell enveloping me
Your familiar voice whispering how much you love me
Curling up on your chair and playing with your silver necklace
Afternoons spent colouring in, you enjoyed it more than me
Your familiar voice murmuring how you would do anything for me
Days just spent cuddling in front of the fire.

Now, my hair no longer shines
Theres no one to plait my hair
No one to read my favourite stories and I can no longer remember the words
Your living room, not your living room anymore, its cold and empty
The TV doesn't play Alice in Wonderland anymore, I haven't seen it for years
Your smell has disappeared
Your familiar voice has gone, I will never hear those words from you again
Your chair has gone and that pretty necklace with it
Those colouring books are still there, unused, damp and abandoned
Your familiar voice lied that day
No more days spent cuddling, the fire has burnt out.

You went from my beautiful, sparkly Nana who I loved so much
To my tired, fading Nana who I still loved so much
You were my Nana, my confidante, my idol, my best friend
Watching you fade was the hardest thing I had to do
I tried to save you, you got mad
I told you I wanted the old Nana back, you didn't hear me
You said you would do anything for me
You didn't mean it
Seeing you in that hospital bed getting weaker each day
Your once beautiful face grey and drawn
Your frail body hooked up to a machine
I'm glad I managed to tell you I loved you one last time
Before you left forever.

Now you're gone and I feel empty inside
I wish you could've stopped smoking for your daughters, your granddaughters and grandson, for your friends and for your great grandson who never got the chance to know you.
I wish you were still here
I love you so much.

Written in memory of my beloved Nana who past away last year. If any who has read this smokes stop, it truly does ruin lives. Thank you for reading.