Everything was so dazed that night.

I barely remember a thing.

But this is the story about what I can remember.

It was the beginning of a long weekend.

Me and a bunch of my friends had an awesome night planned.

There was no way that the night could go wrong.

But oh how wrong I was.

Oh so very wrong.

It started out at Elizabeth's house.

Drinks before the party.

Before we moved on to so much more.

It was all fun and games.

Loud music, dancing, laughing.
Everyone was having the time of their lives.

I was with the guy of my dreams.

Shaggy, short blond hair.

Bright stunning blue eyes.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

When we talked I didn't pay attention to what he was saying.
I just kept staring at the amazing way his lips moved as he talked.

They were such a sweet pale pink colour.

I just wanted to lean in and kiss them.

So...I did.

That was the worst decision of my life.

At first we were making out in the corner of the room.

Our drinks now on the floor.

He tasted so sweet.

I wanted so much more of him.

We were interrupted by a friend.

The party at this house was done.

We were off to the next house.

I didn't even know his name.
But I loved him already.

We talked until we got to the next house.

He offered to get me a drink.

I sat down and waited for him to come back to me.

He came back and sat next to me.

He passed me the drink.

We continued to talk for a few more minutes.

I started feeling so out of it.

Things started to look fuzzy and the lights looked so slow.

He led me upstairs to an empty bedroom.

He pushed me down on the bed.

I was smiling like an idiot as he straddled me and started to nibble on my neck.

His hand slid down my side and started to pull my shirt up.

I knew it was wrong.

But how could I stop the love of my life?

Soon my shirt was on the floor.

His hand was traveling up my stomach and chest.

I giggled lightly as he licked my neck.

His kisses traveled down my body.

His hands slipped down to the rim of my pants.

My heart was beating quickly.

His hand made its way down my pants.

Even my boxers.

I gasped as I felt his hand on my member.

I wanted to call out his name.

But I still didn't know it.

Through the fuzz I saw him grin.

His hand started moving up and down along my member.

I let out soft moans as I grabbed at the sheets.

I've done it to myself before.
But this felt so much better.

Maybe it was because he was my soul mate.

Maybe that just made everything he did feel a million times better.

It wasn't long before I reached my climax.

I came inside of my pants and he took his hand out.

He licked his fingers with a faint chuckle.

I thought he was done with that.

But I was wrong.
He wanted some for himself.

He shimmied my pants and boxers down.

Then they joined my shirt on the floor.

He then took off his own pants and boxers.

He leaned down to kiss me for a moment.

Then.

I felt it.

He was inside of me.

It was very painful at first.

I gripped the sheets as hard as I could.

He thrusted himself in deeper and rougher.

He soon hit something that just made all of the pain go away.

I moaned out loudly against his lips.

That's when I knew he loved me too.

When he was done he sat up and looked at me.

I was almost completely out of it.

I could barely see anything.

I saw him stand up and get his clothes back on.

I continued to lay on the bed.

Waiting for him to join me under the covers.

That's what lovers did, right?

He then started to head towards the door.

I called out to him.

He turned to me slightly and scoffed.

He told me I was a good fuck and then left.

Soon after everything went black.

When I woke up I felt someone beside me.

He came back.

I turned over to smile at him.

But.

It wasn't him.

It was someone else.

A guy with dark hair.

He was naked too.

I stared at him for a moment.

Why was he naked?

I shook him lightly.

He grumbled and turned.
He opened an eye lightly.

"Who the fuck're you?" Was what he said.

I was confused.

Shouldn't I be the one to ask that?

I fell asleep alone.

He sat up and gave me a weird look.

He started to yell at me for being a faggot and a rapist.

Did I do something to him?

I don't remember even seeing him before.

He left.

I was alone again.

I soon got my clothes on and stumbled downstairs.

People were passed out all over the floor.

I walked into the washroom and he was there.

The love of my life.

Naked with a brunette haired girl.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

He was cheating on me.

I was told to fuck off.

I swallowed hard and did what I was told.

I left the house and started walking to my own.

I thought about the nights events.

My butt hurt.

I didn't notice until just now.

When I got home I went up to my room and fell asleep.

I woke up after a few long hours.

I felt horrible.

I had a headache, a butt ache, a stomach ache.

My muscles were cramped.

At first I didn't even remember why.

Then it came to me.

I was raped.

I was used.

Twice.

It was a couple weeks later when I was checked out.

I was told I was HIV positive.

I swear my life ended right then and there.

I was actually going to die.

I got home and told my mother.

She cried for hours.

I cried for hours.

Every day I felt worse.

I just wanted to die.

I went into the medicine cabinet.

It called my name.

My mothers sleeping pills.

They could end my suffering.

I took the bottle into my room.

I hid them under my pillow.

At first I hesitated.

I hesitated for days.

It wasn't until my hair was almost gone that I decided.

I wanted out of it all.

I went to my room.

I took the bottle from under my pillow.

One by one the pills went down my throat.

And soon the bottle was empty.

I had finished off the bottle.

There was a little over half left when I started.

And that was the last thing that I remember.

That day, I, Simon S. Veronika, died.

My mother found me hours later.

I was on the floor.

The empty bottle was beside me.

Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to wake me.

She knew deep down I wouldn't wake up.

She was crying so hard that she could barely see.

She called out my name over and over again.

But nothing could change the fact that I was dead.

If I had never gone to that party.

If I had never taken that first drink.

If I had never walked up to him.

...

I'd be alive right now.

But I guess...

Everyone makes mistakes.