"Violet? Violet, over here. Come on, over here, Lettie."

Violet found herself in a place where all of the leaves of the trees were a rich gold and deep red and fluttered to the ground in grace with the lightest of breezes. The grass beneath her bare feet was soft, the leaves crunchy, and the weather warm. Immediately, all of the pieces of her broken heart fell back into place, filling with a serenity she knew only came with one person.

She looked around, but didn't see him. Weaving around the dense tree landscape, she searched for him. The longer she looked, the more her heart fell. Had he left already? Been taken away from her before she was able to reach her? The skin on her foot broke from a harsh tree branch she stepped on, and her white summer dress tore from getting too close to a thorn bush. It seemed to be getting darker, and colder.

"Liam!" she finally cried out, desperate to see him, to feel him again, to have the sun come up in her soul again. "Liam, where are you?"

"You don't believe I'm real anymore, do you?"

She heard his voice, but even as she spun around to see him, he was gone. "It's not that I don't believe in you. I'm just worried that I...that I don't believe in myself anymore. What if we're both made up? What if I am crazy, Liam? What if I made up my own life and in doing so, made you up as well?"

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see him close to her. "Then we'll be perfectly matched for each other, won't we?"

She frowned, leaning her forehead against his chest. "I don't want to be crazy, Liam. I want to be normal. That's all I ever wanted." She looked up to meet his ice blue eyes that sent chills through her. "And you. I've always wanted you."

"Then don't give up on me, girl," he whispered in a mix of desperate and passionate tones. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. She soaked up the warmth from his body. How could this only be in her head?

"I'm trying, Liam, I really am."

She felt his lips graze against her ear and she shivered. She never felt so real, so alive as this moment, as any of her moments with Liam. How could this be the life that made her mad? Why couldn't the other one be the made up world? She crumbled part of his shirt in her hand, not wanting to let him go. "Just don't leave me," she said softly.

"I won't leave you. I'll never leave you, Violet."

He took her free hand and put it against the hollow of his throat. "Do you feel that? Can't you feel my heart beating, just as yours is? Violet, please, believe in me. Don't give up, not after all of this time."

She held back her tears as she felt his strong pulse beneath her fingertips. It was definitely there, thump thump thump. She wasn't making that up. She couldn't be.

He kissed her forehead and pressed her close to him. "I believe in you," he said roughly against her, before the trees disappeared and her bedroom shone brightly against her sleepy eyes as her arms were suddenly very empty.

She didn't move, lingering in the last of his warmth as it all faded. She watched her fingers placed on her pillow as the rememberance of Liam's pulse faded from them. His warmth soon was replaced by the chill of the cracked window. The sweetness of his kiss disappeared from her skin.

The door suddenly opened, and in ran Beth. She jumped on the bed excited, and clampered up to her.

"Do you have any more chocolate, Vivi?"

Violet smiled at the little girl and pointed to her bedside drawer. Beth's whole face lit up as she launched across the bed and greedily opened the door and grabbed the small box. She sat again on the bed and began to pop each one into her mouth.

The warmth Violet had felt for Liam's visit faded. She felt so torn between her two worlds and what to believe. She had been so scared and confused when she began to wonder if her sister's words had a ring of truth in them. Everything that didn't make sense began to fit into place under the assumption of insanity. With Liam, nothing made sense. The beautiful worlds they found themselves in were always fogged in confusion once they left them.

But then there was Liam, who always showed up just on time and just when she needed him most. He had begged her to hold on a little longer, to continue believing him. But what if Liam's visits were just a little too convenient? What if she so needed comfort, she created him in her mind whenever she most felt like it? It all brought her thoughts back to insanity.

Violet stared at her precious little sister who thought the world of her. She didn't want to be labeled as crazy. She wanted Beth to always look up to her, instead of having two older sisters who were put out of society. It would give her a bad name and a harder chance to marry when she was older. Violet definitely didn't want that. She'd do anything to keep Beth safe.

Violet leaned over and kissed Beth on the cheek. "You can keep the box of chocolates, Beth," she said to her. "Why don't you go hide them in your room so no one else finds them?"

Beth's eyes lit up. "Oh Vi, thank you!" she cried happily, hugging her sister before running out of the room to find a new hiding spot. Beth loved to hide things, especially underneath her most cherished dolls and their layered dresses.

No, Violet decided. She didn't want this world to be made up either. She wanted the best of both, and to not be insane in either. She wondered if that was too much to ask, and prayed that it wasn't.

xXx

"I'm so glad you could meet me today," Mr. Laurant said, walking arm to arm with Violet. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

Violet smiled, looking ahead. "Yes, it is."

He looked at her with a cocked brow. "Miss Gates? Are you quite well? You seem very...distracted today. You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

Changed her mind? Her mind was spinning. She couldn't decide what was real and what was not, she questioned her sanity and everything she ever believed in; she couldn't make up her mind about anything, let alone change it.

However, she knew he was talking about her agreement to marry him, and that seemed like it was steadfast in either of her thinking. If she was insane, it would be a good thing to hitch her wagon to a steady man who had enough money to get her treated and keep her comfortable as she slipped further away from reality if that should happen. If she wasn't insane, she'd still support her family and be with a man who was very fond of her. Of course she adored Liam, but real or not, how could she wait for him? If everything went perfectly, she'd end up as well of as poor, field hand Vienna who had to be out in the sun and dirt working through her pregnancy. If her experience turned out differently, things could be much worse than that. Simply put, there was no way for Violet to wait for Liam. She had fully thought it out, but it seemed like it just wasted meant to be.

"Of course not. I'm so sorry, my mind has been quite busy lately," she said, meeting his eye briefly.

"With the wedding, I'm sure. I fully understand. Just think, so it will be all over. Aren't you glad we decided on a short engagement? It makes everything better. Soon I'll have you in my house, where we can become partners in God's holiest of missions."

Violet tried to smile, then pointed at a red wing tipped bird that flew by. She had wished the engagement to be longer, to draw it out just to give Liam a little more time. But then her father took ill just after Mr. Laurant asked if they could bump up the wedding to a sooner date. Her father's illness made her mother jump into agreeing, even over Violet's protests to keep it prolonged. In attempt to change her mother's mind, she reminded her that weddings need so much preparation, and two more weeks just wasn't enough to buy a dress and finish the planning. However, since her mother had two eager helping daughters of twelve and fourteen, they were able to get more done in a quick time than Violet had suspected which made her point invalid. This is what led her to be here, on a walk to the bridal gown shop with her very soon to be husband.

"I can't wait to begin our lives together, Violet. I think this will be a very good match. I hope you are just as excited as I am."

In truth, Violet did have butterflies in her stomach about the wedding, and once in a while she could imagine marrying this man and being happy about it. But those occasions were always tainted in memories of her Liam, and then she'd just feel torn and guilty for both men.

"I am," she vowed, almost truthfully as they neared the shop. He kissed her hand.

"I'm very glad to hear it. I'll leave you here as I believe I see your mother inside. Good day, Miss Gates."

Violet nodded and waved before entering the small store filled with white. Her mother ran up to her, all aflutter in excitment.

"I have my wedding dress here, Violet. I talked to the seamstress and she said that it will be easy to fit to your body with few alterations. It's going to be so beautiful, my dear! This is the wedding I always hoped for with Vienna."

Violet was soon surrounded by her younger sisters and the seamstress, who helped her into the wedding dress. She looked at herself in the mirror. From neck to toe, she was filled in billowing white lace and pearls. The skirt was full, the corset painful, and the lace wrapped against her throat was itchy. But her mother looked at the same vision and teared up, hugging Violet in her joy.

"It's so beautiful! Beautiful! You look just like I did!" her mother said, then pushed the veil down upon Violet's head. It was long, gathering and overflowing at their feet. She was sure that if she moved, her feet would trip over all of the overabundant material, but she didn't say anything. Her mother looked too proud.

Violet looked in the mirror again and felt a pain hit her heart. Why was it, that when she looked at herself in the mirror, all dressed in her wedding best, that she wanted nothing more than to be held by Liam? She needed his shoulder to bury her face in and his arms to comfort her. She needed to know this was all going to be okay, but how could he ever say that? After all, this dress meant that she would forever be parted from him. How could anything be okay after that?

"Can I take it off now please?" Violet asked, fanning herself with her hand. "I...I feel like I"m going to faint!" Her head felt like it was spinning and too light to keep her grounded. Violet stumbled to a bench close by, buried her face in her hands and wished to be swept away.

"Violet? Violet, whatever is the matter with you? Vi?" she heard her mother bicker. She wasn't able to answer before she felt her head grow too light and the white room turn black.

"Violet? Come on, Violet, wake up."

Violet reluctantly opened her eyes, feeling worn out. Her spinning vision made it hard to see where she was, until those eyes pierced through her dizziness. "Liam?"

She felt him gather her in his arms. "What happened to you?" he asked.

She looked down and noticed that he was seeing her in her wedding dress. "No, not this," she moaned, burying her face into his chest. "I didn't want you to see me like this." His face showed her that he hadn't wanted to see her in it either. "I need you so much, Liam."

He nuzzled her hair with his nose and kissed her temple. "I know, sweetheart. I need you just as much. Are you feeling well?" He felt her forehead and frowned.

An idea flickered in her brain. She knew it sounded childish, but she didn't care. "If I get sick, maybe I won't have to get married," she said happily, but he only looked at her in concern.

"Oh, my poor Violet. Don't wish anything bad upon yourself. That would be the worst you could do."

"No worse than marrying the wrong man," she said miserably.

He kissed her cheek over and over, expressing his pain and frustration in his affection. "I'm so sorry I haven't found you yet. I'm so sorry. I want to take you away from this all. I'm doing everything I can. I promise you, Violet. I'll find you one day. I know now that it'll be too late, and you couldn't possibly know how much that grieves me; to watch you be taken by another man. To...fall in love with another."

"Never," she vowed, her voice mumbled by his shirt.

"Violet? Violet, what's the matter with you?" Her mother's shrill voice rang through her head until she saw her hovering above her. "Are you quite alright?"

"Must have gotten overheated," Violet said, trying to get up. The seamstress ran over to her and stripped her out of her dress and hoop skirt. Violet's sisters helped her dress in her day clothes before the four took a carriage back to the house.

All the while, Violet was silent, trying to live in her last vision that grieved her heart. She wondered why she had vowed to Liam why she'd never love another; it didn't seem fair to her soon to be husband, but then again, what was fair?