1,424There are certain types of people in this world. Those who are innocent, and those who protect the innocent. I'm pretty sure I use to be in the former category. Now? Now, I don't know. I don't know what to do or what to think.
My parents have taught me that in life people are given different amounts of stress levels, and that you should never compare yourself to one another, because we all respond differently to stress.
So, am I to understand that all the drama, the lying, the secrets, the heartbreaks, and the anger…is stress that was put on me, and someone or something thought I could handle it?
Cade's…confession. It was all too overwhelming.
I just stared at him after he finished everything. I don't know how long I stared. All I remember was the feeling of guilt, anger, and shock running through me. Then I stood up and walked away. I couldn't possibly be around him after all of that. So, I drove home.
I went to sleep immediately. I didn't want to stay up thinking about it. I didn't want thoughts lingering in my head, and I certainly didn't want to forgive him. Yet, I slept uneasy. Everything just clicked. Everything made much more sense, and yet, I'm still confused.
I'm confused about why he would think we would have been his parents. I'm confused about why he thought it was okay to be with Kate when he didn't love her. I'm confused about…
…about him letting me go.
I don't know. It's what I wanted, and it's still what I want, but I just never thought Cade would be nice enough to finally let me go. To finally tell me why he made my life miserable.
So, when I woke up the next day, I thought in some way, I'd feel better. I thought I'd feel closure, and in some ways I do, but this drama isn't totally over.
There's still Andy.
The end of our friendship was because of this stupid drama, and for some odd reason, I feel as if that was a wake up call for Cade to finally tell me, which is making me feel bitter. My friendship with Andy was suppose to be unbreakable. Untainted.
I stood in front of my locker, and not too far away I could hear Cade laughing. For some reason, I couldn't help but feel as if this laugh was different, and so I turned around.
He was standing with a few of his friends, and they were laughing at some joke. I couldn't help but be mesmerized for a second. Cade look so carefree and less jaded.
Gee…I guess his confession really helped him, but it didn't with me.
I shut my locker and started walking to my first class.
"Ooops sorry," a guy murmured. I looked up to see who bumped into me.
"That's okay," I replied, but couldn't help but feel lame when it came out.
Andy and I just stared at each other awkwardly.
"Um…yeah, okay," he stated quickly and rushed into class. I couldn't help but watch him walk away.
I can't help but wonder if this is how it's going to be. His back always facing me.
"I don't know what exactly happen between you, and I know you still hate me, but I know you miss him," Cade said as he stood behind me.
I quickly turn to him. I couldn't help but remember how tall he was compared to me. He didn't have an arrogant smirk or blank expression in front of me. He just had a small smile, and it seem to be sincere and…apologetic. I gave him a suspicious look.
"What are you up to?" I asked as I narrowed my eyes on him.
Cade chuckled a bit and quickly looked down on his shoes and then back up. All this, while he stuffed his hands in his pockets. For some reason, it made him seem more human. Seeing him uncomfortable.
"Just wanted to point out something obvious," he replied. Then walked away while giving me a small short wave.
Hmm…suspicious.
I sat in journalism class in front of a computer and I couldn't help but glance at Cade. He's been acting weird all day. Giving me small waves of greetings. Acknowledging me in the hallways and in class. Seriously. He acknowledged me. ME. Granted, he wasn't being intrusive, but still. It's weird.
I printed my article I've been working on the past two days and hesitantly started walking to the editor.
"Um…here's my article," I said tentatively and I could't help but bite my lip a little bit.
Andy's blue eyes looked up at me, and he seem a bit startled to see me there.
"Uh…I'm a bit occupied right now, you can show it to Cade," he replied. Even though he didn't say it harshly, and even though he didn't glare at me, I couldn't help but feel a bit rejected.
I nodded dejectedly and slowly walked to the Assistant Editor. Cade.
"Yeah, so, uh, here's my article," I quietly said.
Cade looked up with a bit of surprise and silently took my article.
"Andy sent you here?" Cade asked as he looked over my article. I nodded, but realized he was looking at my paper and not me.
"Yeah."
"Huh," Cade replied as he continue to look over my article.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing, just thinking."
Silence.
Why did I join journalism again?
I turn to look at Andy who was busy talking to some other students in the class.
Oh yeah. Andy begged me to.
Pooey.
"This looks good, though, I'm thinking Andy would like it shorten a bit. Maybe take out three lines," Cade said as he handed my article back. I quickly turn to him to reach for my paper.
"Staring at Andy?" Cade asked, with no ounce of a condescending tone in his voice.
I stared at the floor as if I've been caught by my parents eating the dessert before dinner started.
"Why don't you talk to him?" He asked curiously.
I couldn't help but boil.
I quickly looked up and glared at him.
"Because of you," I spat out and quickly turn on my heels to get away from him.
Valentine's Day.
It's Monday, and conveniently Valentine's Day was today. So how does a school dance work for Valentine's day if it's on Monday?
Why of course, we move it to Friday.
So, unfortunately, we have to celebrate it twice. TWICE!
Fortunately, I didn't have to volunteer to pass out the candy grams this time. Especially, since there is no candy. None. Na-da! What kind of blasphemy is this? No…for Valentine's Day, the Student Council wanted to make it special. They wanted to pass out flowers. Meh.
I walked down the hall and all I saw were red, pink, and kisses. Ick. Usually, Andy and I would make fun of this holiday while we both secretly wished we had someone to kiss, but he was avoiding me. I feel completely rejected.
Instinctively, my eyes searched for Andy.
He was with Cade, and they were holding onto a lot of carnations. That must be the flowers used for the grams. They were talking and I couldn't help but notice Andy was a bit tense, but suddenly, Cade held onto his shoulders and started talking to Andy. From the looks on Andy's face, Cade must be comforting Andy. I quickly turn to look away.
I'm the one who's suppose to comfort him, but that's not the case anymore. I hurt him, and even though Andy hurt me first, I can't help but feel guilty all the same.
(Andy's POV)
"Are you sure about this?" I asked nervously. Cade and I were in the room where the student council usually have it's meetings, and there were quite a few of us separating grams, and organizing it.
"Andy. I know you want to do this. Trust me, she won't throw it away. I mean really, it's candy we're talking about." Cade reassured me the hundredth time.
I sighed.
I felt extremely nervous. Close to an anxiety attack actually. I can't believe I was doing this.
"Cade, I need sixty flowers," Kate demanded. Cade groaned as he got up from his seat. Kate glared at Cade as he went to get a basket of flowers.
"Hey, Kate," I called out nervously. My cousin turned her face to me and her glare softened.
"What's up?" She asked.
"Can you give this to Sunflower when you get to her class?" I asked her as I handed her a small bag.
She glanced down at the small bag and then her gaze switched to my face.
"It's still Sunflower? Not Sunny?" She asked softly.
I bit my lip. It felt awkward calling her Sunflower.
I heard a sigh from her.
"You're so lucky I have a soft spot for you," she declared and then took the small bag.
"Your flowers." Cade came back with the basket of flowers. Kate quickly grabbed it and walked away.
"She's such a bitch," Cade huffed as he took a seat next to me.
"You kind of deserve it," I replied.
"Yeah," Cade conceded, "but that doesn't mean she wasn't one before."
"True," I admitted.
"Did you give it to her?" Cade asked.
I nodded.
"Good. Hopefully, you're cousin is nice enough not to mess this up," Cade said as he continued working on the grams.
"She won't mess it up." I sighed.
Cade stopped to look at me.
"Okay, she won't totally mess it up."
(Sunflower's POV)
It was fifth period and I sat in AP Calculus taking my notes. I noticed three weeks ago that I wasn't doing very well in my classes, and I was determined to get back into shape, especially since the AP tests were coming up in May.
Of course, the student council interrupted our class time near the end to deliver our grams. I knew I wasn't getting any. I had told Robert of how mad I was that we weren't doing candies this time, which doesn't make sense, because on Valentine's Day you also give out candies, but noooo…we wanted to be cheesy and give flowers. So, I told Robert to not even buy me one, because I'll just whack the flower at him. Okay, so I really wouldn't do that to the poor flower, but he basically got the picture and didn't buy me one. I hope.
So, as Kate and Aubrey bounded into my Calculus class, I sat there, watching as my fellow classmates waited excitedly for their grams. Then just as they were about to leave, Kate loomed over me with a not so happy look.
"What?" I asked a bit harshly. I really didn't enjoy seeing her so close to me.
Kate frowned at me and dropped something on my desk, and walked away. I sat there a little surprised and looked down on my table. There sat one gram with my name on it, only it didn't have flowers. It had a bag of candies. I took the gram and opened it, curious of who gave it to me.
Dear Sunflower,
I know we're not on speaking terms, but it just seem odd to not buy you a gram, since I've been buying one for you ever since I could remember. I know you weren't happy with our decision to replace the candy with flowers, so I thought switching it back to the traditional way would be better for you.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Andy
I gaped at the gram. He wasn't in the class to see my reaction, thank goodness, since he was out passing the grams too. I stared at the gram a little longer and then to the bag of candy.
Damn Andy. Damn him for knowing my weakness.
"That looks good," Robert commented as he took a seat next to me in our Student Council meeting.
I quickly scarf whatever candy was left in my hand and hid the rest. Robert gave me an odd look.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
I finish the rest of the candy in my mouth and swallow. I quickly hold a finger in front of my mouth.
"Shh!" I try to hush him quietly, which didn't turn out to be quiet since a few of the members turn to look at us. Robert kept giving me an odd look.
"I don't want anybody to see the candy. Especially Andy!" I quickly hushed out.
"Oh," Robert stated, and then for a few moments he stared at me, "you have a bit of chocolate on the side of your mouth."
I quickly wiped my mouth.
"So…why don't you want Andy to see the candy?" Robert asked me.
I quickly hushed him as Andy came in to take a seat. Usually, I would sit next to him, but lately, I've been sitting in the back ever since you-know-what happened.
"Alright, first, I'd like to say good job on the grams. We successfully sold them even though we couldn't eat the gifts that came with it." Andy beamed. I couldn't help but laugh a little when he joked in the end.
Unfortunately, I was the only one who got the joke, so everyone turn to stare at me. Oops.
"Uh, sorry," I quickly said.
I saw Andy giving me a small smile, and I couldn't help but light up. I miss his smiles, and he was smiling at me! Then I turn my eyes to Cade…who was right next to him. Damn him. He's in my seat! He was smirking at me. I quickly looked away.
"Um, well, lets talk about…"
I drowned Andy out and notice Robert glancing at me with a knowing look. Psh! What does he know?
Sigh…I've always hated Student Council meetings.
"So, you like the candy?" I turn around to see Cade following me outside of school.
"Uh…" I quickly shove the candy into my bag.
Cade stood there with a smirk.
"What are you doing?" I ask him as I start to walk to my car again.
"Just wanted to see how you were," he said so innocently that it almost fooled me. Almost.
I stop and turn to face him. I couldn't help but look at him suspiciously like the many times I've been doing. Cade just stood there smiling at me. Him. Smiling. It makes me feel…uncomfortable.
"Stop that," I demanded.
"Stop what?" Cade gave me a confused look.
"Stop smiling!" I shouted.
"Uh, why?" He asked, still confused.
I let out a loud sigh.
"Cade, just because you told me your reasons, doesn't mean everything is all hunky dory. It's weird you know. You acknowledging me in the hallways. Your smiles at me. You encouraging me to talk to Andy. This is all weird, and frankly, I think you got it in your head that since Andy and me are not friends anymore, it's okay for you to take his place," I spat out quickly.
I notice the shock look on his features. Well…good. It's time for him to get some shock therapy! Okay, I know that's not what it means.
"Sunflower," he started slowly, "if you think I'm trying to take Andy's place…I'm not. I'm sorry if you think that, and I have to admit…I was hopeful that we could start over as friends, but obviously, that's not the case," he stopped. His gaze turn to the ground and he lifted his hand to run it through his hair. I couldn't help but be a bit confused at the sight of me.
He was looking everywhere but at me.
Uh…
"I'm sorry," he spurt out. I couldn't help but be startled by those words and the sincerity in his voice.
"I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain. I know you have no reason to forgive me, and I…I shouldn't have made you uncomfortable with, uh, acknowledging you in the hallways," he paused. I couldn't help but flush in embarrassment with his last sentence. "I guess it was stupid of me to think we could start over," he whispered.
I couldn't help but want to walk away. This was making me very uncomfortable.
"Yeah, well, um…" I started, but failed miserably at ending the conversation.
"Look, I know I did a lot of wrong things to you, but you and Andy not being friends anymore…well it doesn't sit well with me. I just want you guys to be friends again," he explained gently.
I couldn't help but stare at him. His explanation was obviously sincere, but I was more startled by my reaction to it. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to forgive him and let him have his way. Then I remembered how much I hated him.
"You don't always get what you want you know," I muttered as I crossed my arms.
"I know," he whispered, "believe me, I know."
I stiffened when I heard that. I didn't know how to get out of this situation. This conversation wasn't suppose to happen. I was suppose to walk home, eat the candy, miss Andy, and do homework.
"Hey!" We both turn to see Andy running towards us, and based on the small surprised look on his face once we acknowledged him he didn't see me with Cade.
"Uh…you guys talking?" Andy asked. His voice sounded completely neutral, and so was his face. The only dead give away of what he was really feeling were his eyes. His blue hopeful eyes. Did he want Cade and me to be friends? Seriously?
"I'm done talking," I replied in a clipped tone. I couldn't believe it. They probably set this up so that we could all be buddies again.
Andy looked startled by the tone of my voice.
"Okay," Andy replied slowly, looking at Cade for a moment and then back at me.
I've always believe that Andy was a smart cookie. He never or rarely ever missed anything, and his keen observation skills were that of a private investigator. With that being said, I couldn't help but squirm under his gaze. Although, he didn't know what exactly was said in my conversation with Cade, he had a sense of what direction it went, because all of a sudden he was glaring at me.
At me!
Not at Cade, but at me! What the hell?
"I'm going," I bit out as I glared at Andy. I quickly turned and hurried to get away from this scene.
"Hey!" Andy shouted as he came after me. I couldn't help but turn around, even though I felt in my gut I should've ignored it. Andy always had a way with making me pay attention to him.
"Next time you want to be a jerk, do it to someone else," he said softly in a steely voice. I froze.
I looked directly into his blue eyes and I couldn't help but feel the intensity of it getting to me.
"I hate you," I replied softly with the same steel he had in his voice. I quickly grabbed the bag of candy and threw it on the floor. Andy only glared harder at me.
"Hey, stop it." Cade's voice interrupted our thoughts. "You guys need to chill and actually think about what you're saying to each other."
"Andy, you need to chill and stop being all judgmental. I can stand up for myself, so you don't need to worry about me," Cade reassured Andy. Then Cade's blue-green eyes turn to me, and I couldn't help but want to flinch under his gaze.
"Where's your car?" He asked. Well, I didn't expect that.
"In the shop," I replied.
"I'll take you home," Cade said as he took my hand gently into his. I quickly yanked my hand away from him.
"No way in-" I was about to cuss at him but stopped when I saw his eyes again. They were patient, yet there was something in them that threw me off.
"Please," he quietly said. I couldn't help it. I nodded.
I walked away from him, since I already knew which car he drove, and Cade was behind me, saying something quickly to Andy. When we got to his car, he opened the door for me and gently closed it once I was in. I felt awkward. Being in his car. I've never been in it.
He drove silently with no radio on. I settled for looking out the window, and noticed that we weren't going in the direction of my house
"Where are we going?" I asked softly. It's weird being in his car. I'm sitting in the same seat Kate had occupied for over a year.
"Just getting something small to eat. I thought you'd be hungry since you didn't eat lunch," he replied. I kept my eyes on the scenery. I would've asked how he knew I didn't eat lunch, but I don't think I would've wanted to hear the answer.
He parked his car and I quickly got out. I just felt too uncomfortable in that car. I looked up at where we were. A diner. We sat down with our menus and I couldn't help but be relieved that Cade's eyes weren't trained on me at the moment. His gaze were always intense.
"What will you kids have?" A waitress came by our table a couple of minutes later.
"I'll have the hamburger special," Cade replied.
"I'll just have fries," I replied. I noticed the frown on Cade's face. I ignored it.
"Actually, I also want to add another hamburger, but no combo," Cade piped in before she left.
I glared at him.
"Why did you get another hamburger?" I asked in a low voice.
Cade shrugged and gave me a small smile. "Oh, I'm actually feeling really hungry right now."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah."
I continued to scrutinize him under my gaze, and unfortunately, while I felt uncomfortable under his gaze, he didn't with mine.
"Why are you and Andy friends?" I couldn't help but blurt out. It's been bothering me for a while now. I just couldn't understand how Andy could side with Cade unless he wanted to punish me, but sometimes…sometimes in class I notice how he really enjoyed being Cade's friend. I know it sounds selfish, but it made me jealous.
Cade looked at me as he started to reply patiently. "Honestly, I don't know. It might help to know that he does know I told you why I did everything, but he doesn't know the story himself. Sometimes I think it's because he really misses the old friendship we had, and it seems to be getting back to that now that I'm not obsessing over you."
I stared at him. He wasn't rubbing anything in, he wasn't being condescending, and he wasn't toying with me. He was being honest for once. An open book. This was only feeding more into my paranoia.
"You've really let me go?" I asked.
Cade's eyes glance down and back up quickly all the while with a sad small smile on his face.
"It's hard to get over someone like you," he murmured, and I had to strain to hear every word.
Trying to ignore my blush, I gave him a small glare.
"Is that a yes, or a no?" I asked.
"I'm trying. You can't expect me to drop my feelings for you in just a few days," he said with an exasperated voice. I tried to bite back my laugh as I stared at him. He looked adorable with a slight pout on his lips, brow furrowed, and eyes glinting. It made him look like a disgruntled kid. I'm sure many girls from our high school would completely swoon over how adorable he looked right now. Wait, adorable?
I cleared my throat to try and get the thought out of my mind.
"Look, I didn't come here to talk about us," Cade said, "I took you here because I want to talk to you about my proposition."
I froze for a second.
"Proposition?" I whispered.
Before he could answer, our food was brought to us, and we started eating in silence. I really enjoyed my fries, since they were so crunchy. I really love crunchy fries, but of course, fries are always better with burgers. I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on the burger that Cade had ordered on the side. He wasn't touching it. Even as he finished his entire meal, he didn't touch it. In fact, I couldn't help but notice it was closer to me than before we started eating.
"Hey…are you pushing that burger near me?" I asked suspiciously.
"Huh?" Cade gave me such an innocent look that I knew he was lying. "Oh this? No."
"Are you going to eat it?" I asked slowly, letting him know I was onto his game.
"No. I'm actually not that hungry as I thought I would be," he said off handedly that I couldn't help but believe him for a split second.
"Cade, I can't believe-" I started, but Cade interrupted me. I never expected him to say the next words.
"Yeah, I think I'll just throw it away," he said.
"What?" I couldn't help but exclaim. "You can't do that! That's a good portion of hamburger that you're wasting! Why can't you take it home?"
"I'm not going to eat leftovers," he stated.
"Then give it to someone," I quickly suggested.
"I have no one to give a cold hamburger to," he replied easily.
"Fine, then I'll take it." The words came right out of my mouth before I could even think about it.
"Ok," Cade replied nonchalantly, that I thought for a second he didn't plan this, but the mischievous glint in his eyes told me otherwise.
"I hate you," I stated. Though, the effect was probably ruined by the fact that I started eating the hamburger. Okay, I lied. I am hungry. I'm sure most of you already knew that.
Cade gave me a small smile as he watched me eat. I bit into my burger viciously as I glared at him. Though, the burger was really good.
"Okay, so what is this proposition?" I asked as I took a sip of my water and continued eating my burger.
"Well…I wanted your help with this matter. Especially, since you know more about him than I do," Cade said.
"Him?" I asked as I took another bite. My Mom would kill me if she saw me talking while I was eating.
"Yeah, Andy," Cade replied.
I stopped eating.
Then swallowed so that I could talk clearly.
"Andy?" I asked.
"Yeah," Cade replied.
"What about him?" I asked carefully. Andy is a sore spot for me, especially around Cade.
"I want you to help me hook him up with this guy that's been crushing on him," Cade explained.
I just lost my appetite.
Author's Note: Ok, first thing first. Andy is gay. 100% GAY. He is a happy homosexual man and he knows it. With that being said, there is no way I'm going to make him straight for Sunflower. Yes, they're perfect for each other, but that's why they're best friends.
Not that I'm pissed off. I just want to set the record straight, that way no one is holding onto the hope that they'll end up together.
Yes…I know. I haven't update in a while, but hopefully you did enjoy this chapter. I'm actually moving things along faster, because I know I've been dragging it a bit, but hopefully you guys will be able to adjust (that was me being funny).
Please let me know what you thought about this chapter (and of course, your reasons why).
Thanks again for the people who reviewed my previous chapters and for staying loyal! I'm sure you're just thinking, "Well, duh! No way I'm going to read all this and NOT know the end." lol.
Please review!