Sometimes I want to die.
Not because I'm suicidal or
because I hate my life,
I just wonder what people
would say about me when I'm gone.
If they would pretend we were
best friends and reminisce about
good times that we never spent together.
Or if they would stop pretending
that we were best friends
and confess to everyone their burning
hatred for me.
I wonder if people would say I was a good person
who was always there for her friends and
put other people's needs before her own.
Or if it would be revealed that I was selfish
and shallow, someone who never reached out
to anybody or helped them with any of their
problems when they were drowning in life.
Sometimes I want to die just to hear what people
would say about me at my funeral.