It has been nearly three years since I started this story, but better late than never right? Sorry for the delay, college happened. I want to start writing again as I now have free time after work. Thanks to those who stuck around, and hello to those who are just now reading. Please send a review and follow me on tumblr! I'm trying to get more followers than my evil ex for personal reasons, so if you like getting revenge on evil ex's follow: .com I just started so I will post more as life happens, k bye.


It seemed like a solid plan at first: Break up with Nate, apologize to Risky (again), and go confess feelings to Kirk. Then I realized, I would actually have to BREAK-UP with someone. I've never broken up with anyone in my life. I'm not that great at hurting people's feelings (outside of Aunt Clarice, but she definitely deserved it). If I was going to dump someone, I would need help from the master of breaking-up-with-someone-while-still-being-a-good-person. Reggie.

"Well..." Reggie paused to reflect over his frozen yogurt, bribe food.. I figured what better way to trap a guy into a conversation than by offering him food? It's probably how the whole institute of dating was created. "Typically I catch the other person doing something wrong, like cheating, lying, stealing my grandma's favorite jewelry, and such. I don't know if I'll be much help to you."

"But-but!" I sputtered "What about telling me things from a guy's perspective? How would you, as a guy, prefer to be broken up with?"

He didn't even ask why I was inquiring about break-ups. Reggie was kind of a simple guy in that regard. He's good looking though, so it makes up for any other flaws. He finally shrugged his broad shoulders "I wouldn't. I like being the one to call things off. It makes me feel like I'm in control."

I watched in despair as he gulped the last of his yogurt down. That poor yogurt didn't stand a chance. He burped twice and got up "Thanks for the yogurt, but I need to get ready for practice." He made a face "I probably shouldn't have eaten all that dairy, I'm going to have gas all day. Oh well. Bye Carly, good luck!"

I sat in the little booth at the yogurt shop, bemoaning life. Reggie was my driver and he clearly just left me. Also, I had no idea how to make Nate break up with me. I didn't want to fake cheating on him because that would hurt him. If only there was a way to separate without causing pain. The idea hit me like heavyweight champ. I just had to make myself undesirable! If I could get Nate to fall for another girl and/or be disgusted by me, we could separate and we'd both be happy!

I needed back-up, and unfortunately I had only one reliable ally.


When I approached Zee with my plan she made me wait while she dug in her desk drawer for a sharpie. She then sketched a curly mustache on her face, seated herself, leaned back, and smoothly said "So at last, you come to ME of all people for help in your hour of need." She dissolved into maniacal cackles while fake-twirling her hand drawn mustache.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm a villain, duh!"

I sat on her bed cautiously "Ah! Of course. How...delightful."

She thrust her hand towards me. She was still clutching the sharpie. I naturally leaned away from it. She shoved her hand closer, leaning in. "Take it!"


"Just take it already!"

Nervously I took the marker in my hand. Zee watched me, her green eyes fierce with intensity. "Draw a mustache." she commanded, her face void of any humor.

"But why?"

She narrowed her eyes into little slits "This will be your first step into becoming a villain."


"Do you want Nate to break up with you or not?" she snapped, startling me.


"Then draw the 'stache!" she patted a beat on her knee "Do it! Do it! Do it!" she chanted, not caring that she sounded crazy.

I probably looked crazy, but I drew the mustache. We stared at each other in the silence that followed. I felt silly but Zee's face lit up with pride. "Good." she grinned "And now, you are ready."


The first step of Zee's 'Villain School' was for me to practice lying. According to her, all good villains can come up with a quick alibi. I sat in her living room, practicing lying to her brother Jay. Jay, was playing some shooter game on his PS4, and offered the occasional grunt to let us know he was paying attention.

"Jay," I began reading from one Zee's prompt cards for the 15th time "I have an incurable disease that causes and itching burning sensation in my...whoa! I'm not saying that to Nate!" I shrieked.

Zee pouted "Fine, what if we pretend you have mono instead?"

"What if we don't lie, but we just make me look unappealing?" I countered, flopping on her couch in defeat. I almost landed on Destiny who was sprawled across it, her eyes glued to the screen. She muttered something about me being a whale before getting up and going upstairs. She's a weird kid. She's entirely too grumpy to be so young.

"You already are unappealing." Jay said as he blasted through a wave of soldiers. He stood in front of the TV as if in a trance. I've never seen him play video games while sitting down. Standing helps him focus or something like that. "You're too busy trying to play a female mind game instead of keeping it real. Just tell the dude you're not interested."

"But Reggie says guys prefer to feel like they're in charge of the break up!" I whined as Zee started re-writing her prompt cards. "I want him to leave with absolutely no hurt feelings!"

Jay paused the video game. That action alone caused Zee to gasp dramatically and clutch her heart. "Carly, why do you care so much about his feelings if you're trying to break up with him?"

I had to think about this "Because..." What a weird question. He was right, of course, but I couldn't stand the thought of causing someone unnecessary and undeserved pain. "Because I'm trying to be a good person."

Jay scoffed "Bullshit. You're being a wuss. Go break up with him and go get that other dude. You have such a lady-boner."

I scowled and crossed my legs.


I texted Nate three times that day. He didn't respond which made me worry. What if he read my mind and hates me for it? What if he's dead?

To escape from my ever-escalating thoughts I went on a walk. Not just any walk, a deep-thinking meditative walk. The weather was a bit nippy so I put on my favorite oversized burgundy sweater, my favorite black jeans, and combat boots. I have never seen combat but the boots make me feel powerful. I first walked from my neighborhood to a housing development and then into the 'country'. The 'country' to us is any property large enough to play touch-football on. There were several ranch style houses out here, all seated on at least an acre of land. I liked this area because the sidewalks were just dirt paths and the traffic was low. A girl could get lost, or kidnapped, out here.

Oh and my phone died. I was truly isolated from the world.

I felt deep, walking down a lonely road with my hands in my pockets. I kind of wished someone would take a picture of me and then caption it with some deep, philosophical quote. It was while thinking about how deep I am that I heard the car's engine. I could hear the vehicle slowing to match my pace. My heart beat viciously against my ribcage. This was it. This was how I was going to die.


Oh crap, my kidnapper knew my name and everything. My life sucks.

"Carly, it's me!"

I turned, because most kidnappers don't sound so reassuring. It was Nate. I blinked owlishly "But how?"

"I came to visit you as a surprise, and your Mom said you looked pensive so you probably walked this way."

Were my moods that predictable? "Oh."

"Want a ride?"

I stared at his open face and his car. How could I hurt this precious person? Sure he wasn't the love of my life, but he didn't deserve for me of all people to cause him any pain. I remembered Jay's half-assed advice and got in the car. Even though I would have to break Nate's heart, I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Look, Nate..." I began as I buckled my seat belt "I don't think there's an easy way to say this..."

His eyebrows furrowed "Carly, is something wrong?"

"Yes-and no. I mean, no but yes. I mean... ugh..." I clenched my fists against my face. Why was this so hard? "I can't be with you anymore!"

I didn't look up to see his reaction. I felt my face get hot and knew I was going to cry any second. I'm such a wimp. I could hear his breathing get heavier, he started making choked sounds "I'm so sorry Nate I never meant to hurt you and..." I paused, confused "Hey wait a minute, those aren't sobs! You're laughing, you bastard!"

Sure enough, he pulled the car on the side of the road so he could catch his breath. I waited in a foggy confusion as he proceeded to laugh his silly head off. I can't believe it. I had driven him mad with grief. Was I really that amazing?

After an eternity of laughs he finally managed to breathe properly again "I didn't mean to laugh!" he said, grinning so broadly I thought his face would tear "It's just that... I was going to do the same thing!"

"What?" I gasped, horrified "You were going to break up with me? You jerk!"

Nate rolled his eyes "Hypocrite."

"Oh shut up. Why were you going to break up with me? I thought I was perfect!"

"Hardly." he teased, affectionately reaching over plucking at one of my stray curls "I'm just so relieved that you're not going to be hurt."

"Me too. " I confessed, still feeling a little dopey from confusion and relief "But why were you breaking up with me?"

He finally stopped grinning and actually looked a little ashamed. He scratched at the base of his ear nervously. "Well, the truth is... I can't stop thinking about your hot cousin."

My jaw dropped so low, I'm pretty sure I could've been a stunt double for The Cave of Wonders from Aladdin. "MARISKA?" I asked shrilly. I cleared my throat and tried again "I mean, Mariska? Risky? Really?"

He looked even more ashamed, if possible. He kind of reminded me of a bashful puppy and I couldn't help but feel fond of him. "Yes, I tried not to, honestly I did. But she was so vulnerable and beautiful and We actually talked just a few minutes ago, and it took all of my energy to tear myself away from her to come find you."

"Oh gee, thanks."

"Don't be like that! You were breaking up with me too!"

"Well, yeah, but I had a better reason than that!"

He looked interested "And that is?"

I then remembered why I was going to break up with him and suddenly it was my turn to look ashamed. "Well, I have feelings for someone else too..."

Nate chuckled and shook his head "Wow. We are literally the worst."

I grinned up at him "This might be the best break-up in the history of break ups."

"I agree. My last girlfriend stalked me for nearly three weeks. You won't stalk me will you?"

"I dunno, it'll be hard..." I teased "Especially since I'll see you all the time with my cousin."

He made a sour face "That won't be a problem will it?"

This time, it was me leaning over. I gave him the best one-arm hug I could manage "Not even a little bit."


Aaron and Zee stared at me blankly. I had Nate drive me to Aaron's house so I could share the good news. They stood in the doorway. I could hear Aaron's grandma somewhere in the background cussing violently at a game show. Even further into the house, I could hear the familiar 'Smurfs' theme song and immediately knew that Zee had taken over Aaron's TV and was probably forcing him to watch her favorite blue people. Poor guy. Love is a funny thing. It makes the school's former bad boy watch Smurfs with his certifiably insane girlfriend.

"So..." said bad boy broke the silence we had created "you're saying you just had the world's best and easiest break up?""


"I thought you'd be happy for me?"

"I am," she admitted with a huff "But it's unfair that you get to have an amazing break up. It goes completely against the laws of relationships."

Aaron nodded his agreement. "Even my kindergarten break up wasn't that easy. That little bitch stole my Legos."

Zee patted his arm understandingly "Honey, this isn't about you."

"Guys!" I cut them off "Look I'm free of Nate, so now I can-"

"Confess your undying love for Kirk?" they both asked in unison.

I took a wary step back "You guys scare me."

They shared a sappy look and a side-hug. I tried to ignore the slight pang of jealousy and pressed on "Can you drive me to Kirk's house?"

"Kirk's not home at this time of day." Aaron replied, glancing at his cell phone.

"Then where is he?"

"Probably at work."

"Take me there. Quickly."

Zee jumped up and down like a kid "This is going to be awesome!"


Aaron's car died out on the same country road I was walking down earlier. He rubbed his chin as his car gave one final belch "Well, this is weird."

"Are we STUCK?" I screeched from the back seat. We were further along than I had walked. There were no houses, no cars, no signs of life for miles. It was late afternoon and I had to be home to help Mom with dinner soon. I was running out of time to confess my feelings. "We can't be stuck!"

"It's okay," Aaron said reassuringly as he retrieved his cell phone from Zee's hands "my best friend is a mechanic remember?"

I froze in pure fear "Wait... Kirk is coming here? I CAN'T HAVE HIM SEE ME?"

Zee looked confused "Um, weren't we just on the way to see him? Or did I imagine that?"

"I'm scared now!"

Aaron held up a finger, silencing us "Uh, hey Kirk? My baby just conked out on me. Anyway you can come take a look?"

After Aaron's conversation we sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. The longer Is at the more I began to panic. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure Kirk could hear it from across town or wherever he was. I had to get out of there. I reached for the door handle. Things were easier when I was the one going to see him. Now that he was in charge of my fate, I couldn't handle the pressure. Earlier I imagined myself walking into his auto shop, pulling him aside, and kissing him all sexy-like. The thought of doing my confession in front of Zee was downright horrifying. There was no way I could bare my heart in front of my best friend. I had to get away, so I did the only reasonable thing a girl in my predicament would do...

I ran like hell.

Okay, so there's a reason I didn't make it onto the track team. I was out of breath within a minute. I could hear Zee and Aaron's startled yells behind me. I then fast heavy footsteps behind me. Crap. I reached in my pocket for the old Jolly Ranchers and threw them.

"Candy!" the footsteps slowed.

I took advantage of Zee's distraction to push harder. It was about then that I heard Aaron's much heavier footsteps. He was gaining on me, and fast.

My feet pounded against the loose gravel of the road. The horizon seemed to stretch for all eternity. My lungs ached for oxygen and sweet release. My throat was as dry and gritty as cat litter. My legs were becoming weak, like wet spaghetti. It was then I felt the boulder hit my back.

At least I thought it was a boulder. It felt like one. I finally knew what it felt like to have the wind knocked out of me. I tasted blood. "Ughhh..."

The boulder grunted and then said in a sheepish voice "Sorry."

My limp muscles became tense again "Kirk?"

I rolled over painfully. Lying on the ground beside me, looking very much ashamed was Kirk.

That's when the pain from my fall really started to kick in. I promptly blacked out.

*End Chapter*

Well this chapter was difficult to write. I'd forgotten how to write for fun, and feel extremely rusty. Thankfully Carly carries herself with great dignity and grace and all that.

Everybody say thank you to: ViciousArticulate whose PM from about a year ago yanked me out of my slump.