a/n: so i'm not dead. hey, hi, howya derrrrn? no but seriously. major writer's block for htusitd. so i thought i'd try posting something that i just threw together to get in the mood for writing it. indirectly mentoins events much later in that story, but no major spoilers except that jacob campbell is a jerk. but holly would have told you that anyways.

so basically this story doesn't have a big future planned for it. i was just listening to hellogoodye's "jesse buy nothing... go to prom anyway" and was suddenly inspired. so just tell me what you think. it will be slash if you were wondering. there will also be chapters in different POV if i don't suck too much to update. but i'm not telling who ;)

in any case if you are waiting for chap. 5 of hollywood. this really helped get most of it done and there are just a few things left, so i'm hoping to have it up within the next week or so. sorry i'm such a loser, you guys. :/


ch1:freddy eat sammich

the cafeteria is disgusting. no one eats here. well, i eat here. so does tucker, but it's still disgusting. tucker thinks i'm disgusting.

"you listening, asshole?" he asks.

i tell him no. i'm not. 'cause he sucks.

"you suck," he says.

and i tell him he's real clever. come up with his own comebacks, why doesn't he?

"'cause you're not worth it, punk. i'm getting more food."

i tell him no one's called me a punk since grade school. and he's ugly. ugly and disgusting. and i'm disgusting and i'm disgusted. with everything. i've never seen the world look so hideous in my life. but i don't tell him all that. just that he's ugly.

this jake kid walks into the lunch room looking pissed off or like he needs to poo really bad. i can't tell, or i don't care, or something. right after he sits down, rich gary storms in after him, looking even more pissed or even more like he has to poo. the lunch ladies should crush up laxatives into our food. 'cause then we wouldn't have these problems.

rich gary stands opposite jake by the round table he's sitting at and shoves the edge of it into his stomach. he shoves it so hard that jake's chair screeches across the floor. the sound is ugly. jake stands up and his face goes all ugly. ugly, ugly, ugly.

rich gary talks with his whole body, and his whole body sounds mad. jake stays silent the whole time rich gary is doing the angry, funky chicken. and then, even though rich gary is yelling and that jake kid is quiet, i can understand jake easier when he says, "it figures you'd stick up for your little faggot buddy. you want in his pants that badly?"

and rich gary's face turns red, red, red and it's gross. it's ugly. i don't want to look at him, so i look at tucker looking at him. looking at them. looking excited, because this means fight and tucker's an instigator.

i get up to throw away my food and pile my tray on the stack. behind me, kids still go on talking. nobody really cares about rich gary and that jake kid or their fight. 'cept for maybe tucker since he's kind of friends with rich gary and his skinny film star friend. the one with the sunglasses. he isn't really a film star. i wouldn't watch his movies. he's boring and whiny and in love with my sister. or was. now he's gay i think. it's always something with that loser.

rich gary finally up and slugs that jake kid and his head flies back and it looks like he might just fall over but he doesn't. he just ends up charging rich gary like a boar or a bull or a kid who just got punched in the face. rich gary handles it though and even though jake punches him pretty hard in the gut, he just grabs his collar and slams his back down on the round table so hard that it tips over and jake falls on the ground.

the crash is so loud. where are the teachers? will the lunch ladies do something?

likely not. people never interfere with rich gary for some reason.
rich gary is talking to grounded jake all ice quiet now, "the world doesn't have a place for people like you. you're useless and pigheaded and you know it, so you take it out on people who aren't."

rich gary never says mean things. never anything like that.

grounded jake just sits up slowly. acts like he didn't hear it. i would too. some junior kneels down beside him to help him up when rich gary walks away like nothing happened, but grounded jake gets all hissy and shoos him away. so the kid moves on to right the table and then leaves him too.

i know tucker's gone after rich gary, 'cause i can see them down the hall. and that means there's no reason for me to be here with all this ugly and disgusting. so i leave it like everyone leaves grounded jake.

i leave it all. the school even. i just walk out and cherish the fact that i can more than anything else in the world. maybe it's the only thing in the world i cherish, even though now that i'm out here, maybe the sun's too bright and maybe my clothes are too thick and maybe my house and its air conditioning are too far away for me to walk right now but too close for me to drive and where did i park anyway?

before i can find my car i find rich gary's film star friend sitting on a bench in the middle of the carpool roundabout.

i call out to him even though he's boring and whiny. he looks up and i see he's holding a somewhat white but mostly red rag to his bloody face.

i ask him what happened to his face when i walk up to him.

"don't be a jerk," he tells me and i say okay, but what happened to his face?

"jacob campbell," he admits to me.

i ask him if he means grounded jake? grounded jake who just got the shit beat out of him by rich gary?

and then he says, "gary did what?!"

and so i tell him again and wonder if he's just too retarded to actually answer a question when i ask him the first time. and then he freaks out, saying, "holy shit! why the hell would he do that?!"

and i tell him because rich gary is hot for his retarded, skinny ass. just as i sit down on the bench and start getting comfortable, jake's helper kid comes up to film star boy with another rag wrapped around some ice. he's got his hand up over his eyes like a visor and sunburn all across his cheeks and sunburn is disgusting 'cause it peels. it makes his face red and ugly.

"sorry about your face," jake's helper says and i almost say i'm more sorry about his, but he isn't talking to me so that would be rude i guess.

"sorry about your brother," says skinny.

jake's helper looks at me for a sec before saying, "so i guess you heard about the fight."

"not in great detail."

he huffs out some air and it would probably dislodge his too-long bangs if they weren't stuck to his forehead with sweat. "it wasn't very spectacular anyways. jake is a pansy in reality."

skinny puts the ice rag to his face and nods. "i'll take your word for it. could you move or something? you smell like the lunchroom."

it takes a minute for me to understand he means me so i get up real quick and say i was just leaving anyways. who needs to be around whiny film stars and overly helpful juniors on a day like this? it's an ugly day. but i don't tell him all that. just that i'm going.

"bye," he says, but i don't say anything back because i'm too busy leaving. too busy remembering how disgusted i am with everything and everyone and how much i wish i wasn't because my mom made me a sandwich today and she never does that. so it was nice. but it was just out of pity. so i haven't eaten it.

i get in my car and start the engine. i plan on putting the car in reverse. backing out. going home. the environment can suck it. but then i don't. 'cause i'm pulling out my sandwich and taking it out of the saran wrap and i'm taking this crazy big bite like i haven't eaten anything in twelve thousand years and then i'm chewing and it's fluffer nutter and i should hang it on my door to keep rich gary away 'cause he's vegan. so marshmallows to him is like garlic to vampires. not that i have a problem with rich gary. but i might.

i throw the rest of the sandwich out the window and throw the switch into reverse. i make sure my volume is maxed before i turn on the radio and some popular song made from clips from some older, underappreciated song starts playing and some birds fly off the flagpole and i feel strangely satisfied as i'm leaving.

i pass skinny and jake's little brother in the roundabout and wave buh-bye. jake's brother waves back but skinny flips me off so i make sure to screech my tires just for him as i'm turning onto the main road.

and today's my birthday. my eighteenth birthday. no big deal or anything. just a legal adult. not like it matters. not like i care, 'cause i don't. but today is. and i'm not driving home. i'm going to mcdonald's to eat something disgusting that isn't a fluffer nutter sandwich.

fuck you, house.


end of ch1? short, sweet. grammactically suckular. capitalization is for squares. feedback if you have it plz. and raise your hand if you think fluffer nutter is the ballinest sammich evarrrr. :D