The sixty days I was suppose to have left with Ash turned into something like thirty days. It all happened like an avalanche; after the event at D lounge, Mr. Greene got us on a late night show that resulted in us getting booked at a few more clubs and events. Then a few days passed and our often silent official-band-email started getting flooded with requests for interviews and appearances. I should have been excited, and I tried to act the part of the dazzling rock star in front of the audience, but the thought that Ash was leaving kept nipping at me in the back of my mind.

It was the end of May. Summer break started on June 13th and Ash was leaving the day after. We were scheduled for an appearance in Los Angeles on June 14th, meaning that I wasn't going to be able to send Ash off at the airport. I tried to get Mr. Greene to substitute my part with a recording but he was adamant in keeping me for the live performance. He said that it was essential for audience members to remember what we looked like. I suggested he make a cardboard copy of me and stand it on stage, somewhere out of the lights so it doesn't look too awkward. This idea was met with firm disapproval.

Time moved too fast. Communications between Ash and I usually took place in the form of long phone calls or video chats. Maybe it was the combination of stroke inducing light effects and a lack of sleep, but during the talk show interview that night I completely zonked out for the intro and didn't catch up until the chorus. Mr. Greene pulled me aside afterwards and gave me a long ranting lecture about how I needed to try harder and think of the other band members. I sheepishly nodded along with whatever he said before Sasha took pity and excused me to the makeup room.

As soon as the door closed behind us I flopped down on to the shag carpeted floor. It was dirty and had gross but I was too tired to give a damn. Sasha lifted me up by the collar of my shirt and placed-shoved me in the makeup chair.

"When's the plane leave?" He asked me in his warm southern drawl once he changed out of his gold pants into something more subtle. I picked up a cotton ball and tried to attack my stage makeup, mainly the mascara that refused to budge. The skin around my eyes had gone red from the vigorous rubbing I was giving it, but the black stuff only smudged. I looked like a panda. Some backstage personnel walked by us while they wheeled away a rack of customs.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, unsure which plane he meant. Did I forget about a show or something?

"Ash's plane?" He tried again, more specific this time. "Dust told me."

Sasha handed me a cotton ball he had doused in some makeup remover. The mascara was finally gone. I looked back at my reflection in relative boredom. My eyes were too dark and my cheeks too gaunt. It could be the lighting, or maybe it was the two weeks of stress and lack of proper rest that the band's had to endure.

"Oh." I grimaced when the thought of Ash leaving was brought up again."In two weeks, on the fourteenth."

"Whatcha gonna to do?"

I kicked my legs up onto the vanity counter and started lacing my boots, then glanced up at Sasha with a blank stare. Do? Nothing, I suppose. What could I do? I looked down at my old worn out leather of my boots. Ash and I got them when we went thrift store shopping a few months ago. They were pretty beat up but as Amy would say, they had character.

I sighed. "There's nothing I can do. His home is in England, I have no right to keep him here."

"Don't you have some big plan to become super famous and fly to England and reunite with your lover? You know just—" He shrugged and looked exhasperated at my empty stare. "Ionno, some big plan or dream like that."

I thought for a moment. Dream? Sure, but reality was cruel and real. We were playing the small circuits now, nothing major. Doing a worldwide promotion is an impossible dream.

"I suppose," I shrugged. My arms dropping to my sides tiredly as I leaned back in the makeup chair. "but how's that gonna happen?"

Rather unexpectedly, Sasha pulled up a chair next to me, then leaned close and whispered as he would a secret. "Thought you'd never ask. Didn't you know that I'm the magical guru of love?"

"Er…" I edged back a little at the grin that spread over Sasha's face.

"Dust just tol' me some news that might be of use to ya." Sasha winked, his eyes lighting up like a wily coyote.







It was two nights before Ash was set to leave. We were packing up some of his last things; one huge pile for donation, and a much smaller one for packing. I moved mechanically, not feeling much emotion other than a little leftover anxiety I had stifled into my subconscious. After my talk with Sasha, I was feeling a lot more relaxed, but it still didn't completely distract from the knowledge that Ash was going to be living half a world away.

Ash glanced up at me from his folding then quietly said, "Actually, it's good that you can't come see me off."

"Why not?" My hands continued to fold the stack of shirts.

"Because I'm terrible at goodbyes." He looked down at the Pokémon figurine in his wavering hand, wondering if he wanted to bring it with him or donate it. He flipped it over a few times, as if weighing its importance, before tossing it into the donate pile.

I nodded and picked a half used bottle of cologne out of the 'throw away' pile, popped off the cap and inhaled. It smelled like that shampoo Ash used. Ash frowned when he glanced over at me.

"What?" I felt a little subconscious under his eyes.

He shook his head and smiled weakly. "Nothing."

There was only a cardboard box left in his open closet. I walked over and dragged it out. A quick glance inside told me that it was some of his favorite video games.

"You said you'd keep them for me." Ash said.

"I will."

"Shall we place this in the car now?" He indicated to the box of video games. I sighed at the work around us. There wasn't much left to do, a lot of it is cleaning up, which I guess Ash's aunt had said she'll do later anyway. I nodded.

We went to down to the garage with the box in my arms. Once I had loaded it into the trunk, Ash climbed into the passenger side and strapped himself in. He moved so efficiently that for a second I thought he had gone back in the house. If it wasn't for the car door slamming shut, I would have been clueless.

He gave me a naughty grin through the passenger side window, the kind that made me well aware he was up to something.

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked as I quirked an eyebrow, amused by his sudden bout of mischievousness.

"Take me anywhere. I want to forget about reality for a little."

Ash's eyes were hopeful, expectant. I felt my heart tugged with ache. My keys jingled in my pockets when I patted them.

"Alright," I thought for a moment. "A drive through the park?"

He didn't even pause to think before quickly nodding, "Yes, please."

I closed the back trunk, climbed into the Jeep and started the car. The door beeped to inform us that our seatbelts were properly strapped on. I leaned over Ash to help him with his before buckling myself in.

"Shouldn't we tell your aunt?" I asked as I started backing out of the garage.

"It's fine, let's just go." He pleaded, "please?"


Ash played with the radio, surfing channels until he found a station with old pop songs. The car was filled with synthetic noise, the kind that made you bop your head and sing along. I kept my eyes on the road and he with his eyes locked to his side of the window. It got starry the further I drove from the city. I rolled down the windows and opened the moon-roof to let the warm summer breeze whip through our hair.

There was a place where couples go near the edge of town. It wasn't far from Ash's house, but there was a bit of highway which made it feel like we were leaving the town. I'd only been their once, with some friends from school because we were bored and had nothing to do. I remembered the place as some place I'd want to go with the person I loved in my arms. It was a distant wish at that time, but it looks like I was going to fulfill that wish tonight.

"What are you doing in the summer?" I asked.

"I might go to France with some friends."

"Your parents will let you go to France but not stay here for the summer?"

Ash's answer was a frown. He tried to read my face to see if I was trying to be confrontational.

"Just wondering." I explained quickly with a casual shrug. Ash didn't have anything to add so I let the topic drop.

The signboard in the middle of the road alerted drivers that the park was the next intersection. I made a left turn then drove into a tree lined road. There were only three cars scattered across the main parking lot. The street lamps overhead flickered yellow as I shut off the engine.

The radio went dead. We sat in silence for a moment, only looking around to check out the empty space around us. After awhile, Ash unclipped his seatbelt and looked over.

I looked back, his face was nearly unreadable in the dim light of the park light and I was unsure of what was going through his mind. He started to climb over to my side, careful to avoid the shift while he attempted to straddle my lap.

"I hate this." I said, not daring to look anywhere but straight ahead for fear that I would start sobbing like a pubescent teenage girl. Ash stiffened against me. "Fuck, it feels like the freaking apocalypse."

He shushed me with a kiss, then hugged me close and rested his head in the crook of my neck. "I know. I'm sorry."

I wrapped my arms around him. He played with the hems of my shirt while I kneaded the skin on his shoulders, he was too thin really. He tried to pull up the collar of his tshirt which slipped off shoulders, but I stopped him, exposing his collarbone with my fingers and a light flick. I traced a trail to the dip at his throat, laid a kiss on his collarbone, his skin like velvet between the gentle nip of my teeth.

We were both growing hard, our erections obvious under the strain. The feel of his skin close to mine, letting off the warmth that softened the hard cold air blasting from the air conditioner, it was enough to make me shiver.

I unbuttoned my jeans, then slid his off his slim hips without bothering with the buttons. His hands clumsily worked on the zipper of my pants. He kicked off his shoes, my hands worked furiously to untangle his legs from the jeans pooled at his ankles, then freed his erection from his white briefs.

"Is the backseat…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before I shoved him into the back seat and covered him with my body. My hands were tangled in his clothes as I tried to rip them clear off his perky little ass while he climbed to the back. There were teeth and gasps, ripping and tearing. The sound of heavy panting was hardly muffled by the cushion of the seats. I was on top of him, pushing him to his knees; his hands clawed for anchor against windows, his breath fogging the glass in short bursts of air as he tried to steady himself on his knees.

"I need you so bad." I whispered against his ear, trying to resist the urge to bite the curves his earlobes too hard. My hand wrapped around his throat, bringing it to my lips. He let his head roll back against me while his hands covered mine as I jerked his cock.

"Fuck me." He pleaded his voice a raspy whisper tinged with desire.

My dick rubbed against his backside, between the crack of his ass. His knees parted unquestioningly when I lifted his hips back. He moaned as I jerked his erection in staccato motion. I could barely hear him as I frantically tried to position myself behind him.

He twisted his head to kiss my lips, all the while rubbing his ass against my cock. Our skin was flushed by the adrenaline coursing through our veins. The sound of fabric sliding over each other intermingled with our panting. His eyes were dilated in the reflection of the window. The night outside was a blur, neither of us seeing anything past our rapture, our passion engulfing all sense of time and reality.

I fucked his mouth with my fingers; his saliva coated my thumb as I rubbed it across his lips and dipped it into the warmth under his tongue. He curled his fingers in my hair, pulling desperately as he struggled to breathe. I sucked hard on his neck, until I felt the skin bruise under my abuse. I withdrew my fingers, our mouth came together, our quickened breath struggling to keep up between the crush of our lips. I pushed a spit slicked finger into him, a second one, then a third one, until I could be sure that I wouldn't hurt him.

"Tell me how you want it."

"Hard," He whispered shameless between moans as his eyes fluttered open. Our eyes locked. "Give it to me hard."

I lined up my cock and pushed into him, the engorged head of my cock forcing his entrance open slowly. He was hot and tight, too tight to drive into in one push, but he pulled on my thighs, begged for me to be deeper in him. I closed the distance between us in a single push, slammed into his ass hard. The force of it folding him down, his hands clung to the edges off the window for support and braced himself as I pushed again, deeper. It was the first time we fucked without lube and I worried that I was hurting him too much, but he didn't want me to stop, only gripped my thighs so he was pulling me into him deeper when I pulled back a little. I bit back a muffled grunt as his muscles contracted around me. My self-control fled from me and I slammed into him, hard.

He screamed my name, tried to steady himself against the door of the car as I grabbed his hips towards me and fucked him long and steady. He was still too tight, the heat of his body sheathed around me tightly in white blaring heat I could feel him resisting less as pleasure overcame the shock, and started to thrust back against me.

"You are so fucking tight." I hissed into his ear. He shivered, hands clutching at the leather fabric of the seats, each nerve in his body responding like electricity was coursing through them.

His pleas to be fucked harder only churned the adrenaline coursing through my blood. I jerked his legs apart, picked up one leg effortlessly and put it over my shoulder, and opened him up to be fucked sideways. The change in angle wrenched a cry from his throat, and I drove back into him hard, fucking him relentlessly, his golden white hair bouncing around his face each time I slammed into him, each time he backed into my embrace. He squeezed my cock as I hit his prostate, causing obscenities to spill from my lips.

"Oh—" He groaned between panting intakes of breath. But he showed no sign of wanting me to slow down. One of his hands masturbated while the other braced against the position I had put him in. I looked down at where we were connected, fascinated by the sight of my cock ramming in and out of his ass. His moans grew louder as I quickened the pace, and his hand moved over his cock faster, seeking release as his body thrummed in pleasure. I jerked his hand away, trapped it against the backs of the seats with my right hand, and with my left hand took his erection. He fucked himself on my cock, impaling himself with the urgency to find release where his trapped hand would allow. I kissed the top of his lips and twisted him around so he half faced me.

"You want it?" My voice a growl deepened by the need to possess him, not a question, more a command.

"Please," He grounded out, "fuck me."

I held him still, pulled out, positioned myself at his hole teasingly, then slammed back into him, again and again, shoving him into the corner of the backseat and pounding him ruthlessly. He writhed under each pounding and took my abuse with helpless submission, bracing for each hard thrust with knees parted, his whimpers deaf to my ear as blood rushed to my head and wiped away all thoughts of restraint.

The pressure in me built up until I shouted something incoherent in the way of a warning, then I was coming inside of him. My swollen erection releasing into him in spasms, I came so hard that I could hear nothing but the rush of blood pumping through my heart. My hands gripped Ash as I lost myself in the aftermath of my orgasm, keeping him pinned in place as I tried to catch my breath.

Even after I was spent I remained inside him, leaning against the seat in exhaustion, still half hard. By the flush of his skin, the urgency of his moans, the quickened pace of gasps, I could tell that he was close to the edge. My hand worked faster, slick with the cum leaking from his cock. I whispered three words against his skin, but he was too far gone to hear me properly. Garbled words of please and oh God caught in between his moans until he barely made sense.

He shouted his release and threw his head back as orgasm swept through him. My hands wrapped over his as we jerked him off to completion. And then with a shudder, his cum spilled hot on to my hands.

Ash collapsed into my arms when all the energy left him and I withdrew from him, still half hard. The purple red head of my cock still swollen as I slid out along with my cum running down his legs. He moaned into my mouth as I pushed it back into his hole with my fingers, messaging his prostate as he wrapped himself around me, arms and legs tangled with mine.

"I think I'm going to be feeling that for a week."

I laid a kiss on his temple and didn't dare think about where he'll be in a week As we lay enveloped in the haze of the afterglow, I held him tighter, furiously trying to keep away the fears of letting go.

Finally, to the silence I said, "I don't want you to go."

"Me neither." He whispered back, sky blues looking up at me sadly. "I don't want to go."

I squeezed my eyes shut and touched my forehead to his. I swear it, I'll be able to give you forever someday."

"You won't give up on us, right?"

"We can do this." He said.

We looked at each other, the determination burning in our eyes. We can't end this way, and I swore to myself, I can stay strong.






Ash's flight was taking off. I could only stare up at the gray sky as our van drove towards Los Angeles. Even though I hadn't slept that night at all and had been staring at my phone the entire time, I was fully alert. Mason passed me a fresh bag of bagels and some cream cheese from the back of the van. I placed the bag down behind the passenger seat and continued to cling onto my hot cup of coffee protectively. Sasha and Matt were playing strip poker in the back with him, they were nearly all down to their underwear and t-shirt.

Only Dust was sitting next to me. He hadn't said anything since the van picked me up at 3am in the morning. There was a blanket over him and I assume he had been napping until recently. I glanced over and jumped when I saw him staring at me.

Finally he spoke, "You know, I was sorta freaked out when Ash first told me he was coming to America."

I didn't say anything back, not because I wasn't listening, but because I really didn't want to talk about Ash right now. The coffee tasted bitter in my mouth, but it ran down my throat and into my stomach like a warm fire.

Dust droned on monotonously anyway. "I was thinking this could be my escape from the guilt and everything. I never thought in a million years that he would come over."

I grunted something to signal that I'd heard him.

"I thought he'd at least stay for a year or two." Dust said as he tsked to himself.

Finally I said in my hoarse morning voice, "Me too."

"Has Sasha told you our schedule?"

I nodded.

"You could try to act a little happier, couldn't you?"

"I'm sorry that I'm heartbroken and that my mind is too busy trying to comfort my emo crying soul." I said through clenched teeth

"But you've seen the schedule."


Dust shook his head as though he was shocked by my rather placid reaction. "Mate, you are a hard one to please."

I looked over lazily at him from the corner of my eye as I took another sip of my coffee. At least I thought I was easy enough to please. What's wrong with feeling a little down? My current condition is a reflection of how I felt about my boyfriend up and leaving me. Six month was seriously not enough time for such emotional havoc; to have happiness in the palm of your hands and then have it taken away is enough to fuck up anyone. But I did feel a lot better about the whole situation after Sasha had talked with me.

My phone vibrated on the seat next to me. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.


"Hi." His greeting sounded weaker than usual.

"Are you boarding now?"

"Yes, I'm sitting on the plane now. We have to shut down our mobiles soon."

I imagined him sitting next to the window, looking across the runway basked in morning light.

"Ah, alright. Don't forget to call me during the flight transfer."

"I will." The sound of the air stewardess's voice travelled over the phone line.

"I love you." I said quickly when I realized that Ash was being told to shut off his phone.

"I love you too." Ash answered before hanging up.

Dust rolled his eyes at me, which I easily ignored. The van had pulled off the highway and was headed towards a gas station.

"D, can you get me some pop?" Sasha asked when the car slowed to a stop. He was stretched out in the back row like he was prepared to sleep. It looked like strip poker had left him with only his briefs and a blanket around his mid-drift.

"Yeah, yeah." Dust hopped out of the car as he agreed. Matt and Mason followed after him. I was the last one out of the car. Our driver was already standing by the gas pump, filling the car up. He help up a hand towards us, five minutes, he gestured. We took it as he meant we had more than five minutes to wander around.

I went to the bathroom to do my business, then went and selected a Twinkie from the rows of diabetes inducing snacks on the shelves. Mason had a jug of orange juice in one hand and an armful of Dorritos. The cashier frowned at Matt who was clearing the entire shelf of Kit-Kats. It was probably a good idea to stock up on food while we had the chance. I reached behind me for two mini packs of Oreos.

While we were paying for our loot at the cashier's register, the song changed. At first it was just a radio edited intro that sounded familiar but then the DJ announced the artist name.

Mason was the first one to freeze in his tracks. He looked at me, surprise evident on his face. I looked at Dust incredulously. Dust looked at Matt with equal shock. Then all of us started grinning, not just any normal grin, but the kind of grin that comes from the bottom of your heart as it busted with happiness and renewed with energy

Our young hearts were ecstatic. These past few months of torture were finally paying off. Our song being played on the radio? It wasn't much, but we were finally getting somewhere.