A stitch

No, no. All wrong. The measurements will need to be precise, the pins will need to be spaced out, the material will need to be ironed.

No, no. All wrong. The needle will need to be aligned, the thread will need to be taut, the bobbin will need to be checked.

No, no. All wrong. The stretch stitching will need a stretch width, the cloth will need to face right, the foot pedal will need speed.

And don't forget to backstitch – it keeps the knot in place.

And don't forget to feed the cloth steadily – it keeps the stitches straight.

And don't forget the 3/8 inch hem – it keeps the material from fraying.

And don't look at me like that – you'd do well to learn to sew from me.

"Yeah, but it's just that my button fell off …."