Hello everyone, this is my first fictionpress story, I read so many I thought I'd have a go at it, anyway I hope you read it and enjoy and please review, it's really not that hard :)
"This is the final straw, you all need discipline and you need it now!" shouted Osiris, his voice so loud that it shook the entire hall of judgment, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
My name is Thoth, you probably as the god of knowledge and writing and you probably know all those things about me that they tell you in the mythology books, but this story is about all those things mythology books tend to leave out. For starters you should know that the genealogy of the Egyptian gods is kind of messy and relationships are always clear but I like to think of myself as on of the younger gods (like my best friend Anubis, god of mummification) and as such we all look and act like teenagers cuz being a teen is awesome, and yes some of us are animal-head, deal with it you hairless monkeys!
So it all started when we were all in the courtyard of the place of the gods just hanging out and stuff when Set, god of chaos and storms came up to us.
"Oh thank goodness I've found you children, we've got trouble!"
"Trouble, what kind of trouble?!" asked Horus after he unplugged his iPod.
"Ma'at, universe peace and harmony, is out of balance and unless we do something to restore order terrible things will happen, terrible things!"
"But I check the scales of judgment this morning and they were perfectly fine," I objected.
"Well it happened right after you left; now Ma'at is out of balance because the hall of judgment is hideous and needs to be redecorated…"
"Like I've like totally been telling Ra that for like ever like totally," said Hathor.
"Believe me Hathor your father is paying for his ignorance; now you kids make the hall look exactly like the picture on this papyrus scroll."
"But uncle there's paint and naught words on the walls, mummy wrappings on the statues, and I think that's eggs everywhere else; are you sure this will restore Ma'at?" asked Horus, suddenly Set clutched his head in pain.
"Oh my me! The nation of Paristan just blew-up!"
"But there's no such nation as Paristan!" I objected.
"Not anymore there isn't, and Egypt could be next for all we know!"
"Then we have no time to lose!" exclaimed Horus.
"But guys Set isn't exactly what I'd call honest or trustworthy, and further more…"
"Thoth I'm the pharaoh here, and I say he's trustworthy," said Horus.
"Oh just shut up!"
"I order you to shut up!"
Well there was no arguing with the self-proclaimed pharaoh of all the Egyptians, so I caved in and reluctantly I agreed to help. Horus and Hathor got to work smearing red paint allover the walls, Bast and Sobek got to work throwing mummy wrappings on the statues, Bes and Sekmet broke as many vases as possible, but I just stood there skulking.
"Hey Thoth why aren't you helping out, we need someone to write dirty words and you're the best writer," said Anubis.
"Something's just not right Nub, I mean I've never heard of any ritual like this, and considering I'm the god of wisdom that ought to be a major black flag (in Egypt our concept of black and red is reversed to yours) to Horus."
"Well then in that case I'm with you, you're my best friend and trust me Horus can be a pain in the ass at times," said Anubis.
"Thanks Nub, you always come thru for me."
I was just standing there with my best friend feeling pretty happy with myself, but wouldn't you know it Horus came up to us.
"Well it would appear that even without you two we've made a lovely job of the hall of judgment, now I wonder what my father will think of this… and you two!" said Horus.
Now about right here is where we get to the part where Osiris was yelling at us at the top of his voice.
"Um dad… I would like to point out that Thoth and I were not involved in this in anyway," squeaked Anubis.
"You were there weren't you, under the law of Egypt that makes you as equally guilty as the rest!" said Ra, the king of the gods.
"Well I must say that of all the things you lot have done this really takes the honey cake! I mean this is beyond disrespectful…"
"But father it was a ritual to restore Ma'at," pleaded Horus.
"Do you expect me to believe that lie?!"
"But like it's totally true, like just ask Set," said Hathor.
"Brother is this true?" asked Osiris.
"As a matter of fact it is… not!" said Set; our jaws were on the floor at that point.
"Well in that case I think it's is only appropriate that Plan B be enacted, is everyone in agreement on this?"
"Quick question what's Plan B?" asked Anubis.
"Boarding school… in Greece!" I said.
"Oh it's simply fantastic, Hapi and Serqet have been attending for the past few months and they say it works wonders," said Isis.
"And we would be attending this school…"
"Tomorrow at the crack of dawn seeing as you'll be taking my sun boat to get there," said Ra.
The rest of that day we spent packing all the things we would need for our stay at the academy, which was going to be no longer than a year assuming that all went well.
"Hey Thoth what do you think food in Greece taste like?" asked Anubis as we packed my wands and spell books.
"Kind of like food in Egypt I suppose, why?"
"Really, because I heard it taste kind of greasy!"
It took me a minute to catch the joke but when I did I burst out laughing; I feel really lucky to have a best friend like Anubis.
The next morning after we hugged our parents and told them goodbye and promised to write and all that stuff we loaded out bags onto the sun boat and off we went; I guess it was the herky-jerkyness off the initial start or the fact that the bead I'd eaten for breakfast had a little mold on it but whatever the reason I felt kind of sick and vomited over the edge of the boat and onto a couple of mortals!
"Man I would not want to be those guys!" said Bes.
"And I just had this thing cleaned yesterday," muttered Ra.
Presently we made it to a city filled with gleaming white marble buildings (we were defiantly not in Thebes anymore, to quote the Wizard of Punt) and we came to land next to one with the title Merlin's Academy for Teenaged Gods. As soon as the sun boat came to a complete stop and we started unloading our things and old man came out of the academy to great us.
"Hey wait you're those kids who set my beard on fire!" said the old man, who I realized was Merlin.
"But we were just performing an ancient ritual to express our happiness that you were visiting us," said Horus.
"What dingbat told you…"
"Hey how dare you call my uncle Set a dingbat, I mean sure he tired to kill me and take the throne of Egypt for himself but he's a nice guy!"
"So Set told you that… interesting. Well as you all know I am Merlin, chief wizard in the court of King Arthur and principle of this school; now you are here because you need to learn how to behave yourselves and to learn how to be proper young gods and goddess."
Merlin then clapped his hands and a Hydra appeared and took our bags to the school dorm (maybe this wouldn't be all that bad).
"Now I know you must be hungry after your long trip and this will be a good chance to get you acquainted with the other students."
I was wondering what Merlin meant but little did I know I was in for a pleasant surprise.
Well what did you think?! Please leave a review and I will love you forever!