16Alison's Lullaby ::: Chapter Two
Cameron listened to Levon with a dull sense of shock. Levon had left because of him? The last five years of near constant questions had all been because he was too stupid to realize that he and Levon had never been just friends. They'd always had that…tension between them. Tension that Cameron had constantly ignored, pretended that it was anything else. It was all his fault.
Something in him snapped.
He didn't think—didn't remind himself that this wasn't going to end well. A step forward brought him so close to Levon that he could feel the body heat radiating between them. It wasn't close enough. Cameron bent down that last, crucial inch so that their mouths crashed together with more desperation than grace. Before Levon could move away, make excuses then run away like a rabbit, Cameron clutched the back of the blond's head, holding it there.
God, it was better than anything he could've imagined. He gathered Levon's trembling body against his, felt Levon gasp and finally—finally—tasted Levon in a way that he had thought about for so long. He should stop, he thought in the back of his mind. He should stop, try to explain. This wasn't the way to get Levon to actually talk to him. Clenching a fist in the bottom of Levon's shirt, he almost pulled away.
Then Levon's tongue met his, hands ran through his hair, locking Cameron in place, and it was like time stuttered to a stop. Breathing the other man's name, Cameron gave in to the pulsing pleasure of having Levon in his arms and the need to keep Levon there. They could've been like that for minutes, hours, days and Cameron didn't care. He could feel every shudder, every breathless moan, every gentle arch of invitation. And it all went south.
Backing Levon against the small kitchen counter, Cameron hoisted him a little higher until Levon was sitting. Almost naturally, Levon's legs spread and Cameron moved in closer, feeling like they were fusing together, even through their clothes. Need pounded through him with his quickening heartbeat. When he found himself reaching under Levon's shirt with the full intention of getting the damn thing off, he forced himself to break off the kiss.
Then he almost wished he hadn't. Levon's face was flushed, swollen lips parted for harsh breaths, bright golden eyes hazed over. His hair was sticking up in the back from Cameron's hand. He looked, Cameron thought dazedly, like straight sex. Even completely dressed, Levon looked like straight sex. Swallowing harshly, Cameron stared. "Tell me to stop," he whispered, hardly able to get the words out.
Levon's eyes met his and the heat flared up again, impatient to be fulfilled. "No," Levon replied, arching to grind himself against Cameron's abs. The feeling of Levon's hard cock through the layer of jeans sent a new shock wave through Cameron as he closed his eyes, desperately clinging to a thread of control. "No," Levon repeated, pressing an open mouthed kiss to Cameron's ear. "Don't stop. Please, don't stop."
Then their mouths were fused together, teeth and tongues and lips fighting for dominance. It didn't matter. Before he knew what he was doing, Cameron had practically ripped Levon's shirt off, baring a leanly muscled chest. Using his fingers, since he couldn't look, he traced out the contours of skin. Levon moaned, head tipping slightly back. He found a nipple and rolled it between his fingers, grinning as Levon hissed at the feeling.
"I dreamed about you," he found himself murmuring as his mouth slid from Levon's mouth to taste under Levon's jaw and to follow the column of Levon's neck. He didn't know if Levon heard him or not and he really didn't care. The blond's hands had somehow found their way under Cameron's shirt, clutching as Cameron's back hard enough that Cameron could imagine the little marks he'd find later.
Frantically, Levon continued to press himself against Cameron. "Please," he begged, sounding slightly confused. "Oh, God, just please, Cameron. I can't…I can't. Please."
Meeting Levon's dulled eyes again, Cameron lifted him off of the counter, lowering him to the ground so that they were standing next to each other. He pressed another frenzied kiss to Levon's trembling mouth, then slowly pulled Levon with him as he backed out of the kitchen. "Levon," he breathed into the kiss.
Somehow, in the ten feet of hallway before Cameron's room, they had managed to lose all four shoes, and Cameron's shirt and jeans. Cameron had Levon pressed against his door, fingers trying to undo the button on Levon's pants while Levon's mouth was attached to his shoulder, the movements of his lips and tongue driving him crazy. Harsh breaths and quiet groans filled the air around them. Without meaning to, Cameron chuckled, still failing to undo that stubborn little button.
"What's so funny?" Levon asked as his mouth wandered up Cameron's throat, nipping at the skin. He jerked and his hips thrust forward as Cameron's fingers accidently ground against the bulge behind the denim. "Oh. "
Something made him pull back so he could press his forehead against Levon's. "You sure," he asked, knowing that, when they got into that bedroom, he wouldn't be able to stop. Five years of pent up longing finally had a vent that didn't feel like it was going to close. "You're absolutely sure?"
Instead of answering, Levon leaned up, crushing their mouths together while he grabbed two fistfuls of Cameron's hair, tugging almost harshly. Giving up on that damn button, Cameron curled a hand around the back of Levon's head, the other one pressed against the small of the other man's back, urging them closer. He wasn't able to stop the smile when Levon gasped in surprise as their arousals ground harshly. Their hips found a rhythm and they rocked against each other.
Pleasure raced through Cameron, so powerful that he could feel his thin thread of control thinning to breaking point. Still occupied with Levon's wonderful sinful mouth, he reached over, frantic for the door knob. Damn, he wanted Levon under him, needed Levon under him. As if Levon read his thoughts, Levon lifted a leg to hook it around Cameron's waist, whimpering as the pace sped up.
It was like a gift from God when Cameron's fingers finally curled around the cold metal of the knob and the door swung open. As soon as the support was gone, Levon tipped back dangerously before Cameron caught him, holding the slightly smaller man against him while he headed blindly toward the bed. Levon's back arched delicately as he was placed down on the dark blue comforter, his arms wrapped around Cameron's shoulders to pull Cameron on top of him.
Mouths feeding off of each other, they rolled over once, Levon kneeling over Cameron with his knees on either side of Cameron's waist. Hands sliding over damp skin, Cameron found the button on Levon's jeans that still wasn't undone. Frantic to see what Levon looked like, completely exposed, he tugged at the waistband. It took him three tries before he felt the button finally give. He pushed the jeans and boxers down Levon's hips.
Breaking free from the kiss, Levon arched, his head tossing back when Cameron wrapped his fingers around Levon's freed cock, grasping and sliding. It was amazing to watch Levon's eyes go wide and dark, his chest heaving as he whimpered. "Cameron, please."
Leaning upwards, Cameron pressed his smile to Levon's collar bone. Levon sounded so sweet like this, he thought dimly. So sweet as his body fought for the pleasure it wanted so badly. "Soon, beautiful." Slowly, carefully, he rolled them over again, hand still gliding over Levon's hardness. "Soon."
Levon's hands dug into the skin of Cameron's shoulders, his nails no doubt leaving marks. Not feeling the little pinpricks of slight pain, Cameron slid further down Levon's body, tongue tasting the skin there. His smile widened when he heard Levon's groan when he released Levon's cock. Then the moan when Cameron lightly bit down a hardened nipple, tonguing the nub when Levon arched.
Together, they fought with trying to get the rest of Levon's clothes off, hands frantic and shifting bodies. They met each other's gazes and they both chuckled before their mouths met again. Madly, blindly, Cameron reached over toward his nightstand, trying to find the lotion in the drawer. Something fell to the ground, shattered, but he didn't care because he found it. He found the little tube, and he had to pause when he had it smeared over his fingers. He lowered himself between Levon's spread legs, and ran his fingers down the back of Levon's thighs.
"Is this okay?" he asked, voice low and breathless. He prayed that it was okay. Prayed that Levon wasn't going to tell him to stop. He wasn't sure he could stop.
Levon sucked in a trembling breath and held it for a moment. "Yes," he whispered a moment later, nodding. "Yes. I want you Cameron. I want, I want—"
He cut off when Cameron pressed a finger inside. It was tighter than Cameron had expected, muscles pushing to keep the intrusion out. It took a few moments until Cameron found that place inside that made Levon jerk with unexpected pleasure. Groaning, Levon's eyes widened. "That's…interesting," he murmured, his head falling back as he arched.
He was just so sweet that Cameron had to kiss him again.
Soon, one thrusting finger turned into two, then slowly three while Levon moaned every time that Cameron found that sensitive spot inside. Cameron still held himself back, waiting until he knew that Levon was balanced right on that edge, so close to tipping over. And, when Levon's mouth opened in a silent cry while his back tightly arched, eyes blind, Cameron removed his fingers and ignored the sound of Levon begging incoherently for release.
Quickly, he shoved his own boxers off, slicked his own cock before clutching at Levon's hips. "Levon?" he asked, one last chance to make sure that he wasn't going to screw everything up.
Levon, eyes still blind and panting, his hands scratching at Cameron's chest, spread his legs even wider. "Now. Do it now."
A quick thrust of his hips, and he froze. Oh, God. Levon was so hot and tight that he couldn't breathe. The pleasure was so intense that his muscles locked with the determination to wait until Levon had adjusted beneath him, wait until he was sure that he wasn't going to cause Levon any more pain. Then, Levon's breath hitched as his hips jerked up, his muscles clamping down hard.
Slowly, gritting his teeth, Cameron gave a slight nudge. Levon gasped, his eyes widening as he cried out, and Cameron froze again, terrified that he was causing pain. Then Levon tucked his legs around Cameron's waist, clawing at Cameron's chest and arms. "Don't stop," Levon begged lifting his body upwards to press entirely against Cameron, "Please don't stop. Move. Move."
Leaning down, he pressed his mouth to Levon's, tongue teasing Levon's lips open while he waited just a little longer, just to torment them both. He had waited five years, he could wait another minute. He waited, maddening them both, until Levon bit down on Cameron's bottom lip. Without warning, he pulled out to the tip then slammed back inside, making Levon scream in pleasure as his body clenched.
The rhythm of their kiss changed, deepened, until it matched the primal, perfect rhythm of their hips. With every thrust, Levon would tighten his legs around Cameron's waist, almost like he wanted to hold Cameron inside him. God only knew that Cameron wanted to stay inside him.
"Hold on," Cameron muttered as he tore his mouth free, needing to breathe. He trailed smaller nibbling kisses down Levon's jaw towards his ear. "Hold on, beautiful."
Everything in Levon's body tightened. "Cameron," he groaned, throwing his arms around Cameron's neck. "Please."
There was something in the way he said it. Something in the way that Levon begged that made Cameron lift up on his elbows braced on either side of Levon's body to look down in those beautiful golden eyes that were tightly closed. He was biting his lower lip, body rocking up with every thrust. Cameron wanted to see Levon's face in that final moment as he reached between them, stroking until Levon's eyes flew open.
"Cam—" Levon cut off as he arched tightly, breath sobbing as his body clenched in spasms, wet heat spilling and sliding between them.
Two more thrusts and Cameron joined him, groaning into the curve of Levon's neck.
Trying to catch his breath, Levon stayed still under the strangely comfortable weight of the body on top of him. Without even thinking about it, he had started to run a hand through Cameron's hair while he tried to sort through exactly what had happened. One minute, he had told Cameron the most embarrassing secret of his life, then they'd been in the hallway undressing each other with impatient hands.
And, next thing Levon knew, Cameron was inside him, owning him in a way that he had never let anyone else own him.
Levon couldn't regret it. He wished he could. But he couldn't. Because Cameron had stopped four times to ask if everything was alright. Every time, Levon had begged for him to continue. What else was he going to do? The pleasure, the knowledge that Cameron wanted him just as much as he wanted Cameron, was too much and he didn't want them to stop.
Above him, Cameron shifted sleepily, murmuring something. He almost jumped when he felt damp heat on his slowing pulse. Then Cameron lifted, dark hair sexily tousled and blue eyes sparkling. Slowly, his mouth curved into a smile. "We are not waiting another five years to do that again."
He couldn't help it. He smiled and kept his hand in Cameron's hair, fingers curling in the dark silk. For a moment, he felt like he was glowing. Then reality set in with a sickening sense of dread. "Oh, God," he said, feeling the blood draining from his face. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God."
When he tried to worm out from under Cameron's weight, Cameron pinned him, holding down on his shoulders. "You're wrong," Cameron said quietly. Maybe Levon's heart wouldn't have stopped if Cameron wasn't still inside him—softer, but still inside. Slowly, Cameron lowered his head until their foreheads pressed together. "When you said that the last thing I needed was you following me around."
All Levon could think was that they should be having this conversation later, when he couldn't feel sweat and seed drying on his skin and when he could think clearly. "Cameron, I think you need to get off me." His voice was shaking, just a little.
Cameron shook his head. "Not yet. Not until you listen to me. And you've been scurrying away from me for a week. At least now you can't go anywhere." He smiled, and Levon held his breath, afraid. "I did need you Levon. I didn't know how much until you were gone. You were gone, Levon, and suddenly I realized that I loved you."
"What?"
Smiling, Cameron kissed him, gently. Not the mind-consuming, need filled kisses from earlier. Something in Levon's chest bloomed as he arched, letting his feelings through. It didn't matter that he really didn't know this Cameron. It didn't matter that they had crossed a line that they shouldn't have crossed. It didn't matter that Cameron didn't know how much he had changed in the last five years. All that mattered was that he could feel Cameron's heart pounding against his.
"I loved you five years ago," Cameron repeated. "And I've been obsessed with you ever since. Do you know how many times I've dreamed of you like this, Levon? Do you?"
He could easily imagine, considering how many times that he had dreamed of Cameron. All consuming dreams that had been completely blown out of the water by what had happened. Instead of answering, he shook his head. "I don't really know you anymore," he finally managed to say.
Cameron just grinned as he lifted up slightly and glanced at the clock before rolling over to his side, pulling Levon with him. "Well, considering that, why don't you spend the rest of the day with me? It's better than drinks and we'll have a few hours to talk."
Lifting an eyebrow, Levon tried not to make a face as he felt Cameron slip out of him. "I don't think we'll be talking."
"Well, if you don't want to talk." Cameron started.
Putting a hand on Cameron's chest, Levon pretended that he didn't suddenly feel something flash and grow between them. Something tangible and visceral. "I think I'd like to talk," he murmured, even though he did want Cameron back in him, moving with perfect movements, but he wanted to know Cameron again. Not just the memory. "I want to know you again, Cameron."
"Alright."
They showered—deliberately timing it so that they weren't in there at the same time. Levon had stood there under the weak spray of water, staring at a pink rubber ducky. It had to be Alison's. For a moment, all he could think of was that he had just had mind-blowingly great sex with the father of a five year old. He could still feel the pleasant ache in his lower back and in his legs, a gentle reminder.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of Cameron's sweat pants and tee shirt that was left on the sink, he saw Cameron on the phone, sitting on the edge of the bed. The comforter was gone, as was the clothes that had been scattered around the room. He glanced up when Levon leaned against the doorjamb. "He's still here, Cheryl." His face turned bright red and he looked away from Levon. "Yeah, I told him. We'll see you."
It took Levon a second to find his voice. "Was that my mother?" he asked, mortified to the top of his head. "Did you just tell my mother that I'm here?"
"I'm pretty sure your mother's been trying to get us together all week," Cameron pointed out, standing up and holding out a hand. When Levon took it, he was tugged forward, out of the room and into the hallway. "She kept asking if I had any plans with this odd little look on her face. I didn't trust the look. I'm surprised she didn't try the cookie thing earlier."
"Are you telling me," Levon asked, feeling something tighten around his chest as Cameron sat down on the couch and tugged the blond down into his lap, "That my mother just set us up for sex?"
Cameron thought about it for a minute, playing with the damp ends of Levon's hair. "Probably not the sex."
"Because I so wanted to know that my mother set me up for sex. That's worse than taking your cousin to prom."
"I also think that I should mention that she called me to ask if I had gotten the cookies, and I said that we were going to talk today."
Nodding, Levon tried to move, but he was stopped by an arm around his waist. "Talking to me doesn't mean that I have to sit on your lap like this." Not when he could remember the feeling of Cameron in him.
Giving a quick shake of his head, Cameron just held him. "So," Cameron started, "Who's John?"
Before he knew what he was doing, Levon found himself snuggling into Cameron's chest, while Cameron continued to play with his hair. "He's a friend. I work with his wife, Rachel." A moment later, he wondered why Cameron was asking. "Why?"
"Thank god he's married," Cameron muttered, grinning slightly. "I was afraid he was your boyfriend or something." He saw Levon's confusion and his grin widened."When I got this—" he touched the dark splotch of color at his hairline "—you were talking on the phone to John. Said something about you loving him."
Understanding, Levon laughed. "I'm moving out of my old apartment. He's just a little upset about it."
They talked for hours. It barely seemed like they paused for breath as they bantered. Levon felt like, somehow, the past five years faded. The time that they were apart was still there, but they knew each other again. At some point, they went down to the washing machines to switch over the comforter their clothes into the dryer, then later to bring the dried laundry up. When they got hungry, they ordered Chinese food and ended up feeding each other, noodles falling into laps. It probably wasn't smart for them to try to do it with chopsticks.
"Your mother baked Alison her first birthday cake," Cameron told Levon, running his hands up and down Levon's back, under the shirt so that they were skin to skin. "So we bring it out, I blow out the candle because no way am I letting her get anywhere near fire. There's this beautiful birthday cake, pink bunnies all over it. It's obvious Cheryl worked for hours on this thing. I don't even want to touch it because I'm terrified of ruining it. So, what does little Alison do? She does a face plant."
His chest ached a bit, even as he laughed. They were lounging back on the couch, Cameron still holding him. And Levon felt his heart hurt at the mention of Alison. He ignored it.
"Icing is everywhere," Cameron continued, waving a hand to demonstrate. "She has icing in her hair, all over her face, her clothes, it's all over the table. It's a royal mess."
The pain increased, and Levon pushed himself up, looking over at the clock on the wall. "Hey," he said quietly, "I probably should be getting back to the house. It's almost nine." Where had the time gone? It had practically flown. When Cameron didn't immediately let him go, he pushed a little harder against Cameron's chest. "Let me up."
Thos blue eyes went sly. "You can stay," Cameron said quietly, his hand dipping a little lower down Levon's spine. "Stay the night?"
Levon started to shake his head then he froze. If he had already crossed that invisible line before, then it couldn't be too bad for him to cross it again now. He wanted to, so badly. And, after this, when Alison was back in the apartment, it was very likely that they wouldn't be able to again. Staring down into Cameron's face, Levon felt his heart stutter then stop.
They had talked, he realized. They had gotten to know each other again, and Levon realized that he did know this Cameron. He wasn't too much different than the old Cameron. Funny, easy to like, and responsible when he needed to be. Wasn't Alison proof of that? Five years of raising her as a single parent. And, apparently, five years of wanting Levon. There was really only one thing that he could do.
"Alright," he murmured, pressing his mouth to Cameron's.
And after, when they were back in Cameron's bed, curled together, they talked more. About just things. Stupid things that didn't matter in the least. At one point, Cameron lifted the back of Levon's hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss there that made Levon stop breathing.
"Would you believe that I planned to have you here by the time you left again?" he asked quietly, still holding Levon's hand to his lips. "Maybe not exactly like this," he added when he saw the look that Levon was giving him. "But I did plan to have you talking to me. Maybe liking me a little bit more. Maybe I'd've kissed you at least once. I wanted to at dinner on Wednesday."
"I almost wanted you to," Levon added, comfortable being held where he was. "But I kept thinking that you were straight."
"Straight as a rainbow, apparently."
Putting his head down on Cameron's shoulder, Levon traced swirls on Cameron's abs with his free hand. The curtains over the window were slightly open, a sliver of orange light from the streetlight outside shining through the gap. It was just enough to see by. "Apparently."
There was a completely comfortable moment of silence. Then Cameron nuzzled behind his ear. "What would you say if I said that I'd like to take you on a date since we've seen to have skipped that part of the relationship?"
He thought about it for a minute. "I'd ask if you really want Alison to be exposed to this kind of relationship."
Cameron gave him a long look before rolling over, caging Levon under his body again. Those blue eyes kept staring down, confused. "I think that, no matter what I do, Levon, I won't be able to suddenly stop wanting you. If years away from you didn't change anything, nothing is going to change anything. And I also think that Alison is young enough that she's not going to care. Not to mention, she's just a loving girl who can't think anything bad about anyone."
"That doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't think bad things. What about the parents of her friends, or the people you work with?"
Surprisingly, Cameron smiled. "I'm not asking to run away with me to get married, Levon. I'm asking for a date. Most likely lunch. I know this really good place that's really close to the hospital."
He couldn't stop the smile. "Okay. Lunch."
Later, when they fell off into sleep, they were still twined together, holding each other's hands.
The next morning, Levon woke up alone. After glancing at the rumpled spot on the bed beside him, he smiled. It was still warm; Cameron hadn't left much earlier. Everything had happened so fast yesterday, he could barely believe it. In that moment in between sleep and wakefulness, he hadn't believed it, suddenly terrified that he had dreamed it. Then he woke up and saw that he was in Cameron's room, in his bed.
Still smiling, Levon stretched his arms above his head as he tried to sit up. A shot of pain arched up his spine, making him gasp in surprise. He shouldn't be surprised, he reminded himself as he gingerly moved so he could try standing up, one hand braced on the bed frame. After everything they'd done, he shouldn't be surprised that the slight ache he'd felt yesterday had gotten a little worse. Especially since he wasn't used to that exact brand of exercise.
The clothes that he had walked into this apartment wearing were folded up on top of the dresser and he slowly pulled them on, fighting the urge to bury his nose in the shirt since it smelled like Cameron. Buttoning his jeans, he walked out of the room, heading towards the kitchen to try to find Cameron. He found him, and leaned against the doorframe, watched as Cameron glared at his coffee machine like it would work faster by the sheer power of the look.
"Does it do tricks?" he asked quietly, making Cameron jump.
Blushing, Cameron rubbed the back of his neck, looking absolutely edible in only a pair of jeans, his chest damp from another shower. "Yeah, its trick is that it can actually make coffee about once a month. Damn piece of shit."
"I'm sure it hates you, too," Levon added as he walked forward with near silence. When he was close enough to, he reached out and slid his arms around Cameron's waist, pressing completely against him. He was quiet for a moment while he tried to figure out the strangely pleased expression on Cameron's face. "What?"
The mouth that pressed to his was gone only too quickly. "When I woke up," Cameron explained, running his fingertips down Levon's arms, "I kept thinking that you were going to sneak out if I managed to untangle us and get out of bed. Then the need for caffeine kicked in."
Tipping his head back, Levon smiled. "Ah, and the need for caffeine's more important. I see how you are."
"What can I say?" Cameron's voice went low, practically a growl. "I'm a weak man. I'm happy you didn't sneak out."
"I would've felt stupid," he said as he slid away, heading toward the fridge. After opening it, he scanned the contents, mildly surprised. There were vegetables and fruits and the leftovers from some home cooked meals. Not the sort of foods that he had been expecting. He felt Cameron step behind him.
"Lev?"
"Uh huh?"
Hands lightly gripped his hips, making Levon jump in surprise. He straightened, closing the door as he looked over his shoulder to look at Cameron's face. Why did Cameron look worried like that? Slowly, Cameron backed him up completely against the fridge. "Do you regret it?"
Levon shook his head. "No. Do I wish that maybe it hadn't happened quite like that? I don't know." His fingers was trembling as he placed his hand on Cameron's cheek. He smiled as Cameron leaned into the touch. "It was wonderful, Cameron. I don't regret it. Any of it."
The smile was fast, blooming so quickly that it practically exploded onto Cameron's face. "I'm glad." He leaned down a little, pressing his lips to Levon's forehead for a long, tender-filled moment. "How about I make you breakfast?"
"That depends," Levon answered quietly. "Can you cook?"
"I learned."
It wasn't too bad, Levon thought later as he pulled into the driveway of his house. Then again, it was really difficult to ruin bacon, eggs, and toast. If Cameron had managed to make it inedible, Levon might have thought that he had done it on purpose. They had left the apartment at the same time since Cameron also had to pick up Alison from her friend's house. There had been a brutal, long lived kiss by the cars then they had to go.
If Levon wanted to be completely honest with himself, he'd have to say that he was worried if Cameron was going to regret it. Even though he had brushed it off when Levon had brought it up, Cameron still had a kid. He still had to think about what was best for Alison more than what he wanted. And being with Levon might not be the best thing for her.
It wasn't like he didn't already know it, Levon added to himself as he put the car into park and didn't make any move to get out. That was the exact reason that he had left five years ago. Alison didn't need her father sleeping with another man. It tore him apart before, because he didn't just want Cameron in his life.
He wanted Alison, too.
He had been with Cameron and his new baby for months before he could leave. He had held that baby, felt her cuddle into his chest, and felt his heart stop nearly every time. Because he loved her. Loved her in that exact way that Cameron loved her. She was so little, so perfect, so absolutely terrifying. He had been seventeen, he didn't even have that biological connection that Cameron had, but he could picture her growing up.
Which was why he had gone into teaching.
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair as he carefully unfolded himself from his car. Mechanically, he moved the third flower pot on the left, fingers dipping into the little indent underneath for the key. He unlocked the door then went back to the flower pot, putting the key back. The last thing he wanted was for someone to get locked out because he hadn't remembered. Sighing yet again he walked inside, straight into the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies. It was instinct that had him wandering into the kitchen to see if he could snag one.
"This is the first time you've ever snuck into this household," his mother said kindly as she pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. While he froze and she started to put the cookies on the cooling rack, she gave him a look that wasn't sad.
"I'm not sneaking," he said, forcing a light tone into his voice. "I walked through the front door. "
"After spending a night at Cameron's?" She sounded confused.
He felt the heat on his face and knew that he was slowly turning scarlet, not sure if her question made it worse or better. Out of other options, he grabbed a hot cookie from the cooling rack and took a bite without waiting. He nearly singed his tongue off but it was worth the few extra seconds of trying to think of something to say. When he swallowed, he swore he could feel his tonsils catch on fire.
"I spent the night at Cameron's," he admitted quietly. It had this little ring of finality between them. Almost like it hadn't been real before he said it. He felt something warm settle in his chest and it made him smile. He had spent the night at Cameron's and it had been life shattering and beautiful.
She blinked, obviously not expecting him to admit it. "What?"
He nodded slowly, taking another bite of the cookie. "I spent the night at Cameron's, Ma," he repeated. When she sputtered in surprise, he smiled. "Christ, we're both adults. By the way you're acting, I'm seventeen again."
"He said you two were going to talk everything out!" Cheryl flung her hands into the air and one of the oven mitts tumbled to the floor.
He walked over and picked it up, offering it with a small smile. "And we did talk."
After she took the mitt from him, he turned away to go upstairs. It was funny to watch his mother, the one who had been bothering him about telling Cameron how he felt, upset over the fact that he had done exactly what she wanted him to do. Though he guessed he could understand. Before he even got to the stairs, she put a hand on his arm to stop him.
She gave him a hug, holding him tight to her. "You're my first baby, Levon," she told him quietly. "I just want to see you happy. Really really happy."
"I am happy, Ma." He hugged her back. He really hoped that she didn't hear the little twinge in his voice that said that he wondered how long he was going to stay that way.
Smiling, she let him go and he took the stairs two at a time.
Later that day, he got a surprise when Cameron called the house, asking to talk to him. Ignoring the stare that Garret gave him, Levon went up into his room, determined to have some semblance of privacy while they talked. He decided that he didn't feel like a teenage girl holing herself away. It didn't matter that this was exactly what Hailey did whenever she got a call from her boyfriend.
On Monday, they sent each other emails. Cameron made him laugh more often than not with some very interesting stories about people who came into his work. Levon ended up sending back stories about his students. Which made Cameron reply with things about Alison. Which made Levon reply with things about John's strange little antics.
Eventually they got into a little war about who could have the funniest memory.
He didn't think that they ever figured out who won.
Tuesday, they had their lunch date. When he returned to the house afterward, he found that he had gotten a phone call from John while he was gone. He thought about telling John what had happened for a minute while he listened to the rings, collapsing back on the couch. Then he realized that John would never leave him alone about it. It was just the way John was.
"Why didn't you pick up when I called you?" John asked as soon as he answered. The accusation in his voice made Levon's eyes narrow.
"I was eating lunch," he said slowly, shrugging out of his jacket. When Cameron had said that he knew a good place 'near the hospital' he hadn't expected them to be eating in the hospital. But Cameron had been right, the food wasn't all that bad, and Levon had actually enjoyed seeing where Cameron worked.
John scoffed. "So you couldn't answer the phone for thirty seconds? You are not a good friend, Levon. In fact, you're a horrible one."
"Sue me," Levon muttered back. "I'm sorry that I was in the middle of a conversation with Cameron at the exact moment that you called and I decided that I didn't want to talk with you." When John started coughing, Levon caught his mistake. "It's not what you think."
Sucking in a deep breath, John scoffed. "You just said that you were at lunch with Cameron. The Cameron?"
Since it was already out there, already settling into John's mind with a finality that was useless to even try to deny it, Levon sighed. "Yeah, I was having lunch with Cameron."
There was a shout from John's end of the phone then John was back. "Rachel's grabbing the other line. I can't believe that you guys were out on a date."
This time, he could get the lie out because the fear of the mortification that would happen if his friend found out about what he and Cameron had done. "It wasn't a date."
"Sure it wasn't." John didn't sound convinced.
A female voice made a little hmmm. "What wasn't?" Rachel asked quietly.
"Lev went on a lunch date with that Cameron guy that he has the hots for," John answered before Levon could deny it. Then, when Levon opened his mouth to try to say that it wasn't a date, John cut him off again. "And he's trying to say that it wasn't a date."
Rachel gave another soft feminine hmmm that made him wonder if she somehow knew what had happened. "Maybe it wasn't a date," she said slowly. "Maybe they just went out to lunch because they were friends, John." It was the gentle exasperation in her voice that made Levon smiled.
"Exactly," Levon said slowly.
This time, Rachel gasped, sounding completely surprised. "Dear sweet baby Jesus, Levon, you're sleeping with him."
He wasn't sure who was more surprised. John made a startled sound in the back of his throat and there was a long moment of silence while Levon tried to think of way that he could say that he could lie to both of them without feeling like a complete moron. "How do you figure that?" he demanded sharply, deciding that maybe he could just play it off.
"Because you agreed when I said it was just friends. You wouldn't have gone to lunch with him as 'just friends'. It was a date, you moron. The fact that you're saying it's not one means that you're sleeping with him." She paused for a moment while John sputtered. "It's only been a week Levon."
"I know how long it's been," he snapped. "It's not like I planned it."
A long moment of silence between them. Then John, his voice quiet. "You did it? You…you really slept with him?"
Fuck. The word circled through his mind over and over again since he had come out and just said it. "Yeah," he breathed, running a hand through his hair. After that, no one said anything, no doubt Rachel and John were trying to wrap their minds around what he just told them. When both of them stayed silent, he sighed. "So, how's the girls?"
They both sounded almost relieved at the change in subject.
On Wednesday, while Levon was trying to pretend that he wasn't looking at the door every five seconds to see when Cameron would just walk through. Actually, he thought with a smile as he sat on the edge of the piano bench, he was looking forward to seeing Alison just as much. Before, he'd been terrified at the idea of her, the fact that she was just a small absolutely perfect little girl. This time, that fear wasn't there at all.
Hailey leaned against the doorway and stared at her brother for a moment, since he looked like he was lost in thought. He didn't even notice she was there until she coughed lightly. "Hey, Lev," she said quietly. Since he wasn't expecting it, he jumped and looked over.
"Hey," he answered, worried for a moment that maybe she knew what he was thinking about. He'd never truly come out to his family. He knew his mother knew, but that didn't mean that his siblings knew. And he wasn't ready to ask them.
"You going to play?"
It took him a few minutes for him to understand what she was asking. Then he realized that he was sitting by the piano. He was shocked to also realize that he hadn't played for the entire time that he'd been home. Weird, usually he played all the time in his apartment. Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, he turned around and moved his fingers, feeling them pop. "Any requests?" he asked over his shoulder, lifting the cover off the keys and praying that it was actually in tune.
He barely heard her murmured answer as he settled his hands across the keys. Smiling since this was the first piano that he'd ever played and it just felt right, he lost himself in the music. When the final note faded and he brought himself back to reality, he realized that he wasn't alone on the bench. Alison, dressed in a pale pink sweater, stared up at him with wide blue eyes. His heart stuttered to a stop for a moment as love swamped him.
"That was so pretty," the little girl said quietly. Her fist clenched in the side of his shirt.
He smiled and remembered what she had told him the week before. "I bet you can play pretty too," he answered. Giving into the temptation, he kissed her forehead. "You try."
Her face went serious as she turned so that she was facing the keys. Slowly and carefully, she tapped out 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and was greeted with applause when she finished. The smile she gave him made Levon give her a quick hug, murmuring that he was right and that she did play pretty. Then, unable to do anything else, he got up and left, walking out of the back door onto the patio. He leaned against the side of the house, pressing his hands against his eyes. He didn't hear Cameron come out to join him.
But he did feel strong arms pull him forward, pulling him into an embrace. He didn't even fight it. They stood in silence for a few moments. Then, Cameron's breath ghosted across his ear. "It wasn't just me, was it?"
Levon shook his head.
"You loved her too, didn't you?"
Levon nodded. God, it hurt. Every bit of it. A tremble moved through him, making his hands shake as he slowly wrapped his arms around Cameron's waist, pressing his face into a warm shoulder. "I had to leave," he whispered, the pain cracking his voice. "I almost called you so many times, Cam. But I couldn't do it. You needed me to stay away."
"I needed you to stay here," Cameron cut him off, a hand pressing to the back of Levon's head and forcing the other man to look up at him. "But I understand why you couldn't."
There wasn't the chance to say anything before Cameron's head bent down and covered Levon's mouth with his own. The kiss was slow and careful, seeping Levon in a gentle pleasure. When they pulled apart, they were both panting slightly, bodies tense and hard. Gently, Cameron lowered his forehead to Levon's, keeping eye contact between them. "When're you leaving?"
It took Levon's blank mind a moment to realize what Cameron was talking about. Then he blinked. "Next Friday at the latest. I have to go over some stuff before school starts up again."
Cameron nodded. "Would you mind too much if Alison and I visited sometime?"
It was like Levon's heart stopped. Because he wanted to see them again. Hell, he needed it. He needed to see them again. "I think I'd like that."
They stood like that for a while, and Levon felt the connection between them grow stronger. A clatter from the kitchen brought them back to the real world and they went back inside, the rest of the evening went by without incidences. Over the next week and a half, they met for lunch almost every single day until Levon found himself staring at his suitcase. As horrible as it was, he didn't want to pack. He knew he had to, but he didn't really want to leave, not yet. Not when things with Cameron were so…fragile.
He sighed and shook his head, shoving a handful of clothes into the suitcase. "I'm pathetic. Absolutely fucking pathetic."
For some reason, he found himself smiling.
Authors ::: Note
I was planning to get this out by Wednesday but things came up and caused a big huge hullabaloo. Urg. One more chapter and this story is DONE! This is the shortest thing that isn't a one shot that I've written.
Thanks to Keona Raynalise, Poptart Guava King, Fiery Dancer, marshmallow7, and juliette for your reviews. I meant to say it last chapter but I forgot…sorry. So extra thanks to everyone.