All my life I wanted one thing.

Friends.

Friends who would never go against me.

Friends who would stand by me, even if I did something bad.

I would even like clever, cunning friends to do bad things with.

And that's what I got.

I was on my way home from school on a warm October afternoon when I decided to stop by the record store. Having lost my job recently, I still had a few paychecks to blow on some tunes. I figured I would also purchase a pack of cigarettes since I was running short. I entered the shop and the bell above my head acknowledged my presence. My heavy backpack still strapped around my shoulders, I browsed through the cassettes. Cassettes were the new thing and I loved them. I started to collect them a month after they came out. Then there were three things I collected: cassettes, flair, and bottle caps. I went over to the rock section, avoiding the queer genre, disco. I hated disco. I felt that it would be the only thing my generation would be remembered for.

I passed by a red headed girl who was listening to music through the shop's provided head phones. She had it cranked up loud beause even five feet away I could hear the bass guitar.

My fingers shuffled through the cassette cases. My green irises gazed upon the titles of artists and bands such as The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, and The Guess Who. I took out my wallet and separated the leather folds. I only had a few bucks on me so I picked up some Harry Chapin, Neil Young, and Allman Brothers. I went up to the register and was greeted by an older woman. That was my first time seeing her at the record store.

"Hello, dear. Is that it?" she asked about the cassettes.

"Yep, that's all," I answered.

I noticed that she wore a nametag where no one else who worked there did. It read Gertude.

"Three seventy five," Gertude said.

I only had three ones with me.

"Can you put this one back?" I said, a little embarrassed at my lack of cash.

"Certainly dear," Gertude replied.

I handed her back the Harry Chapin cassette and Gertude placed it near the cash register. She checked out the cassettes I could afford and placed them in a small plastic bag. I left the shop and stepped into the streets of downtown Scranton.

"Hey!" someone called behind me.

I heard heels thump down the sidewalk.

I saw nobody else so I figured the person must have been trying to get my attention. I turned around.

"Yea?" I queried.

"I got something for you," said the red head who I saw in the shop.

She took out a cassette from the inside pocket of her wool jacket and handed it to me.

"Harry Chapin," I said, as I looked at the case.

"That's what you wanted, right?" the red head asked.

"Yea but how did you know?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, the headphones in the shop don't tune out the whole world. Anyways, hope you enjoy it," she replied.

"Do I know you?" I questioned.

"The name's Steph. There, now you know me," she responded cooly.

"Leanne." I extended my hand which she took. Banglets and bead bracelets covered my arms.

"Why would you buy something for me?" I inquired.

"I didn't," Steph answered with a smirk.

My first impression on Steph was that she was cool, laid back, and didn't care. My second judgement was that she was a juvenile delinquent.

"So what school do you go to?" I asked.

It was safe to say she looked around my age, if not a year or two older.

"I don't go to school," Steph replied.

"Hey, you seem like a kick ass girl. Want me to introduce you to my friends?" she asked.

"I don't know. I got a shit load of math homework to do." I straightened my plaid green skirt out. The occasional thin blonde hairs on my thighs stood up as my white leggings reached my knees. It got colder within the ten minutes I've been in the store. It usually got dark at five in the evening and the time on my watch was four thirty.

"Wow, that sounds way better than my plans for tonight," Steph joked.

"What's your plans?" I asked.

"Walk with me, talk with me." Steph snaked an arm around my shoulder and led me in the opposite direction of my house.

"Me and my buddies were just going to have a few beers, smoke a couple joints, and steal some shit," she answered.

"Oh, nice," I said. I wished that she never detected the shyness in my voice.

"You in?" She nudged me lightly.

"Ok, sure," I answered.

I thought anything would have been better than going home to take care of my mom.

We waited until the WALK sign lit up and crossed the street after a taxi drove by.

"Where do your friends live?" I asked.

"Around here. South side," Steph replied.

She looked kind of amazing but unusual, which meant cool to me. Her vibrant red hair reached the middle of her back. The blue jeans she wore hugged her waist as well as her other curves. She sported a tight Doors t-shirt. A silver belt went through her jean loops and was tied in a knot. Her black clogs had patches of dried mud on them. She had a white skull and crossbones on her black wrist band as well as her name stitched in colorful grafitti.

"Nice wrist band," I said.

"Thanks. You know, I could probably get one made for you," Steph replied.

"Really? That'd be bitchin," I said.

Steph's hangout place was a couple blocks down. I got nervous when we were officially in the ghetto section of Scranton but I did carry a loaded gun in my purse with me at all times, for protection of course.

"This is it," she announced.

We entered through the back of a vine covered historic building. I knew for a fact that it held no use to the public since the early sixties. It used to be a school, then a post office, and then it caught on fire. I remeber going inside as a little girl to give the post office people a letter. I saw none of the antiques I vaguely remembered. Though the wooden floors were swept out good, the walls and ceiling still had burnt spots.

A tiny Asian girl sat on a pea green couch as she filed her nails. Once Steph and I walked in the room she looked up at us with small dark eyes.

"What took you so long? Who's she?" the girl asked.

"I'll take however long I want too, and this might just be our new girl," Steph replied.

The girl's snobby attitude changed slightly as if she liked the idea of me being their new girl, whatever that meant.

"Sorry," she apologized but I didn't know who her apology was directed towards.

"You better tell Gia that you're back," she advised.

"Yea, we're going to."

Steph took my hand and led me through another doorway. I didn't feel very comfortable with her holding my hand when we just met.

We were in another room. It was smaller than the last and only contained one armchair. In addition, the ceiling was lower.

A blonde girl was propped back on the armchair with a fluffy black and white cat on her lap. She gently stroked the cat between it's paper thin, triangular ears.

"Gia," Steph said.

The girl turned her head around at us. The cat still purred.

"I'd like you to meet..." Steph left it for me to answer.

"Leanne," I finished.

"Pleasure," Gia said, emotionless.

"You still have that fat hunk of hair?" Steph questioned, referring to the cat.

"How could I get rid of Hopper?" Gia cooed at the cat while she held it up like an infant.

"Besides, you don't live here," she added.

"I'm still thankful for that fact. This place still needs some work, plus, there's no heat," Steph remarked.

Gia had to be the prettiest of the bunch. She had the same shade of hair as I did, only she braided a strand on each side and tied it back around her head. She had a really neat medallion of some animal or more likely a mythical creature. Her graphic t-shirt was of a tentacled monster and her bell bottoms were totally groovy.

The cat swatted Gia's silver hoop earring with its paw.

"I'll buy the whole building tomorrow if that will make you happy," Gia said sarcastically. She was too distracted by her feline friend to look at either of us.

"So what brings you here, Leanne?" she asked.

Gia set Hopper down next to his fake mouse.

"Nothing really. Steph just gave me something from the record store," I said.

"Oh really? Pop it in then."

It seemed to me that Gia started to sound more friendly and sweet.

I opened the new casette that Steph had given me outside the shop. I placed the music tape in their stero that was on the dusty coffee table. I pushed in the play button and turned up the volume. We listened to Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle" when the Asian girl abandoned her zebra nail file and joined us.

"Hey Asia," Gia greeted.

The Asian girl nodded in response. At least I didn't forget her name.

Gia pulled out a carton of Pall Mall Reds from underneath her chair, opened a new pack and lit a smoke. The girls each took one in return and so did I when I was asked. We sat in a circle as the purple BIC lighter was passed around.

"Tell us about yourself," Gia said.

"Nothings really special about me-" I began.

"How modest," she cut in.

Steph giggled.

"I just like listening to tunes, watching horror movies, reading, smoking, and drinking," I continued.

"Cool. You should fit right in then," Gia concluded.

"You're going to let me in your clique just like that?" I queried.

Gia frowned.

"We're not some stupid fucking clique. We're a gang," she said seriously.

I chuckled nervously. Gangs were not exactly something I liked to have in my city, though all the gangs I've previously seen and heard about were boys. At first I though Gia was joking.

"You're kidding," I said.

"Nope," Steph defended.

"Tell me Leanne, are you armed?" Gia inquired.

I thought it was a mistake to meet Steph's friends but I couldn't show fear. I had to play it cool.

"Why don't you come and find out?" I retorted.

Good thing I was armed.

Gia only moved from her spot to ash her cigarette. She smirked at my response and leaned back on the cushion again.

"Steph, you did pick out a good one," she commented.

"Sorry ladies, I'm not interested in going to jail," I said, before things could get in too deep.

"Trust me sister, we don't plan on getting locked up," Gia assured me.

None of us said anything for half a minute.

"Well if you don't want to become a member that's too bad, but you're still welcome to chill with us tonight," she said.

"I'll stay," I replied.

I stuck around that night and many night's after. The first night me and the girls just hung out inside the building. I guess they weren't comfortable with stealing things in front of me so soon. Then it rained, a thunderstorm to be specific, so it wasn't the idea weather to cause mischief in. I walked home alone in the dark and came home to my mother passed out on the couch. The coffee table and the floor was littered with beer bottles. There was no doubt about it that she was an alcoholic since dad got sick and... Anyways, I went to my room and plopped down on my bed. I flipped my math book open to the correct page since the corner of it was folded in. After I completed my homework, I tidied up the house. I tossed the empty beer bottles in the trash along with the smoked cigarette butts, put our dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and wiped the counters and tables with the wet kitchen rag. I heated up a bowl of macaroni and cheese in the microwave and devoured my dinner. Once I got under the covers I realized that I forgot to buy cigarettes.

On my way to school the next morning I stoped at the Circle K and purchased a sixty cent pack of Camels.

I walked home at three o' clock that afternoon. I didn't run into Steph or any of the others. I remembered where their hang out was but thought it would be a bad idea if I went there uninvited.

The next time I saw Steph was the following Saturday. She was at the record store and we decided to hang out at the Steamtown Mall afterward.

We ascended the spiral staircase. Once we were on the second story we went into Auntie Ann's to get soft pretzels. We ate our glazed and cinnamon coated treats on a wooden bench outside the pretzel shop. We only had enough money on us for one soda.

"Don't you ever worry that you'll get busted?" I asked.

"I stopped worrying about things like that," Steph answered.

"So, what exactly does your gang do? Drive by shootings? Sell drugs?" I guessed.

"I've never been involved in a drive by shooting. Yes, I've killed people, but none of them were innocent. They didn't deserve to live," she replied.

"We sell some drugs on the side. Cocaine mostly. Gia needs it to live. She doesn't have a home like us. She mostly stays at our hide out all day with that fat cat," she went on.

"Oh." I ripped off another piece of doe.

"I don't know much about Asia. She always seemed so snooty to me. But Gia must like her to let her join. And that cat you know I don't like because I'm allergic."

Steph took a slurp of our fountain soda.

"I noticed that all of you have those wrist bands."

I poked her wrist band with my index finger.

"You just want yours to say Leanne?" Steph questioned.

"I'm not sure. Most gangs are dangerous," I said, while in fact all gangs were dangerous. I didn't want any of them to know that I was slightly imtimidated.

"Our's isn't about shooting people or dealing drugs. All my life I wanted friends that would never go against me and would stand by me no matter what. Instead, we kind of became a family. We do what we have to," Steph responded.

"I would never hurt you, Leanne."

She put a hand on my shoulder.

"And I'm still hoping that you'll join our family."

"What would I have to do? Would I have to take a beating from the three of you?" I asked.

"Oh no, it's not that brutal. I don't know why you would think that we'd hurt our own members. We're not as barbaric as those thugs you see on the corner," Steph replied.

"Then what?" I asked a second time.

"You'll find out when the moment is right. Nonetheless, it's something I doubt any of the other gangs do," she answered.

I didn't detect any threatening patterns in her voice, and so I went along with it for a little while longer.

The talk became more casual. I was asked my favorite band, song, and movie. It was an easy call; Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tuesday's Gone, and The Omen.

When we finished our pretzels we discarded the bag, the two sheets of wax, and an empty paper cup in the nearest trash can.

The howling of dogs echoed through the night. It broke the uneasy silence and so did the shatter of glass. The window broke into tiny prickly crystals that rained on us. The store alarm went off as Gia stepped through the frame. She came out seconds later and shoved something in her pocket. We all took off running through the alley and back to our hide out. A police siren rang in the distance.

I shut the door behind us. We went into the room where the moonlight illuminated the most. It was the room where I first met Gia. The blonde girl picked up Hopper, kissed his head, and placed him back down on his chair. Gia showed us what she got: several necklaces with gold and silver chains. Each necklace had at least one valuable rock attached to it. Rubies, diamonds, emeralds, and pearls, Gia pawned most of them and got a lot of money. She kept one diamond necklace for herself that was easily worth a grand.

The girls lit up. They were smoking weed in their circle. I wasn't fully a member but was offered a joint. I didn't like it. I didn't like the taste and didn't exactly get high off it. I preferred to sniff the occasional line through a Wendy's straw.

I left at a very early hour in the morning but of course my ma didn't notice. Even if she did, I doubt she'd care. When she wasn't mean or obnoxious, I always secretly wished that I had a better relationship with her.

She fell asleep with the black and white TV on. Her cigarette was burning. I stubbed it out and went to bed for I could get up for school in a few hours.

I rushed home to do my homework, an essay for English class and a few workbook pages for math, and then I slipped outside my home to meet my friends at the arcade. I wished that they would become my family just like they did for Steph. I drowned out the stress of school and home with a few games of air hockey and skee ball.

To my suprise, I spotted Asia chatting with two boys. They both wore leather jackets but with different patches pressed on the sleeves and back. They had light shaggy hair. I saw Asia's mouth move but I didn't hear any sound come out of her. She left the arcade sandwiched between the two boys.

"I'm just as shocked as you are," Steph said from behind me.

My eyes seemed to be frozen on the trio. I had a bad feeling. I was worried but I didn't know who I worried about. Asia or the different gang members? It was a stupid question, both of the blonde haired boys outweighted her by at least fifty pounds and they were almost a foot taller.

A little while later we were back at the abandoned building, with the exception of Asia.

"Is she a prostitute?" I asked.

"What? Asia? No way. If anything, she's a prude."

Gia snickered at Steph's remark.

"She's getting us some doe," Gia said, which I learned was a slang term for money.

"You don't have to go home to your mommy tonight, do you Leanne?" Gia questioned.

"I guess not," I replied, facing my shoes.

"What's wrong? You and her have a fight or something?" Steph asked.

"That's a very accurate guess," I answered.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned.

"To make it a long story short, she strangled me and I gave her a black eye," I replied.

"Why?" Gia asked.

"I took the truck keys from her. She was going to buy more beer when our rent is months overdue," I responded.

"Girl, forget her." Steph hugged me on the side, her chin on my shoulder.

"Live with me," Gia offered.

"I can't. There's no electricity and no water. I don't even know how you can live here," I stated.

"Steph's family helps me out. They probably wouldn't turn you away either," Gia replied.

I was going to say that I'd think about it. Living with Gia did seem slighty better than babysitting my drunk mother.

When I closed my eyes and nobody talked, a sickly odor danced its ways inside my nostrils. The whole building smelled like rotten meat and I suddenly got the dry heaves. Was that always there? Naw, it couldn't have been. I never noticed it before.

"Anyone else smell that?" I asked.

"Smell what?" Steph replied.

"Nope. No smell out of the ordinary. Probably just in your head," Gia added.

I didn't argue with Gia but I didn't agree with her. How could they not smell it?

I jogged over to the sink and gagged. I didn't puke. If I did I couldn't wash it down the drain.

"C'mon, lay down on the couch, chica, you're sick," Gia said.

They guided me to the other room even though I obviously knew my way around. I lied down on the beat up couch as Gia draped a yarn blanket over me. I fell asleep there.

Hours later, I woke up to the door being slammed. Asia was back. I didn't think she was the kind of person who slammed things. I assumed she was more of the whispering, tapping type.

I quickly closed my lids when she looked over in my direction. The lights were on in the next room and I saw that Asia was covered in dirt. She trudged up the steps and I followed her silently from a safe distance. I wondered what those boys did to her? Was she hurt? If so, then why was I afraid of her?

The bottom of my white socks were instantly black from walking up the wooden staircase. No one got around to sweeping.

"Yea, I think its time," I overheard Gia.

"Tomorrow we initiate her," Asia said.

"Don't. I made a promise," Steph protested.

"What promise?" Gia inquired.

Asia shushed them and I couldn't hear anymore.

I tiptoed back downstairs before I could get caught ease dropping.

Asia came downstairs minutes later. She took a gallon of water with her to the bathroom. I was able to see her reflection in the mirror through the crack of the door. Her face had wrinkles on it. The flesh on her cheeks was peeled off in chunks. Carefully, she spread hot glue on her facial muscles and pushed her skin back up. Steam erupted from her face. Then, Asia's jaw fell off into the sink and I dropped to my knees.

I ran over to the couch and grabbed my gun out of my purse.

"Guess I spoiled the surprise," she said from the doorway.

She held her jaw in one hand and a limp, scabby ball of fur in the other. Hopper.

I shot a hole through Asia's head and bolted out the door. I got a head start.