I couldn't believe it. The poison came instruction free. How did that make any sense whatsoever? Something this dangerous should not have come without instructions on the back of the bottle. Holding it carefully, I squinched up my eyes and examined the tiny brown bottle with the scary looking skull and crossbones on it carefully, seeing if maybe there was some ant sized handwriting I had missed the last ten times I had checked. When I saw the bottle hadn't changed, I huffed in irritation.
How was I to know how much of this would be sufficient to exterminate a being if there were no instructions? After huffing a bit more to prove my annoyance to no one in particular, I carefully attempted to pry off the cap of the bottle, but in vain. Stupid child-proof caps. I am not a child; therefore the bottle should not have a childproof cap. What would a child be doing with a poison bottle anyways? I started contemplating what kinds of things a child would want poison for, and was lost in thought for a good half hour.
I was jolted out of my reverie when a lorry outside blew its ear deafeningly loud horn -By this time I was thinking about balloons and baboons (don't ask how I got to that topic) - which caused me to fall off my chair on to the cold hard ground. I pushed myself up off the ground, wincing as I rubbed my now sore backside and cursed my decision for choosing hard floors over of nice soft carpets, and the stupid lorry driver and his horn.
My gaze fell upon the little brown bottle sitting atop the table and I remembered what I was doing before dazing off. I picked up the bottle and struggled with the aggravating
child-proof cap for another twenty minutes before setting it back down on the table and thumping it as I let out a scream of frustration.
To my dumbfounding flabbergastment, the cap popped open, just like that! I stared at it, amazed that it opened so easily. Surely any child would be able to open that cap, wouldn't they? Child proof caps were of no use at all, really.
I picked up the bottle carefully and hesitantly held it up to my nose, but instantly recoiled as soon as I caught the first whiff. They should have given something that smelled and tasted a bit nicer. How do you get someone to take poison if it tastes so bad? Bleurgh.
A wide, evil type grin spread across my face up to my ears as I thought of my beautiful plan. The perfect way to avenge the death of an innocent. The tawny cat would DIE! Sweet karma! Every day since the day it had eaten Rainy, I had seen it haughtily sitting in the very same tree, never moving, and everyday I had been pleasantly nice towards it- even saying good morning to it and tipping an imaginary hat towards it- restraining myself from hissing at it as I had done the day it ate my beloved fish. Little did it know that all that was just an act, and a part of my glorious plan.
Muahahahahaha! I laughed deviously and evilly in my head, and then, remembering no one was around anyways, laughed deviously and evilly out loud.
After fulfilling my desire to laugh manically, I got down a wide metal bowl from a cupboard, and filled it with low fat milk (I want to kill the cat, not be responsible for its obesity! Give me some credit, I'm not that evil!). Next, plugging my nose with a clothespin, I cautiously poured in half or the bottle's contents and stirred it with a wooden stick. I pulled the clothes pin off my nose and grimaced as the still foul odour penetrated my poor, unsuspecting nostrils.
I quickly replaced the clothespin on my nose and poured another, rather generous helping of milk into the bowl. I then added four or five sugar cubes into the mixture, which sizzled as I dropped them in, making me jump back in surprise.
I hesitantly removed the clothespin from my nose again (which was starting to hurt) and after not smelling anything from afar, brought my nose closer to the bowl, which just smelled of sweet milk. I smiled evilly again. Tonight would be the night my fish would be avenged.
I looked out the window to see that it was raining harder and faster than I had ever thought possible. More than the day I had had my first encounter with the tawny cat from hell. I got a neon pink and purple raincoat with yellow rubber ducks on it for myself and a cover for the dish in my hands. No way was I letting my hard earned poison go to waste because of some rain! That stuff was ten kinds of costly!
I stepped outside into the rain and yelped as it hit my head (it hurt!). Anyways, I started searching for the cat which turned out to be quite easy, as it was sitting in the exact same place that it had been sitting every time I had seen it, and the time it had eaten my beloved fish. Grr... Every time I thought of that, it made me seethe inwardly… but soon, I would have my revenge!
I tried my best to hide my manical grin and replace it with a kind one as I approached the cat.
"Here, kitty kitty, want some nice, warm milk?"
For some odd reason, the cat stayed put, but when I opened the lid, and the smell of the milk wafted upwards to its nose, I could sense it's resolve wavering. I set it down in a dry spot under the tree, looking up at the cat the whole time.
Suddenly, the rain started to pour down even harder (what the hell!?). So hard, that it felt as if cricket balls (which are very hard) were being hurled onto my head from the sky. Then something happened which I hadn't anticipated happening EVER in a gazillion years. I felt something plop onto my head and into my hands. I looked down, astonished, to see a gorgeous, striking, mind numbingly beautiful fish in my hands. This fish, it seemed, was even more stunning than the last. I hadn't even known that this level of beauty even existed. Not rainbow colored, but silver, blue and gold, like the song "Silver, Blue and Gold', by Bad Company which predictably got stuck in my head.
Forgetting about my elaborately planned revenge schemes, I fondled it carefully, making
sure to keep my grip on it firm, as I was not about to let the cat get it's filthy paws on this one. This fish, much like the last did not have any trouble breathing either, due to the torrential amounts of rain.
I decided that I would call my new fish Compy, short for Company, which I had derived form Bad Company. It was only right, seeing as it was their song that was stuck in my head after all.
I started to think of the wonderful new home that I would give him (this awesome aquarium that I had seen in a pet shop- not long after Rainy left this world to go to the Great big aquarium in the sky -sniff- that came complete with a miniature sandcastle and scuba diver) and the wonderful fun that we would have together, and how lovingly I'd take care of him.
Suddenly, there was a particularly loud clap of thunder, accompanied by lightning, which made me jump, followed by a very strong gust of wind, and Compy (who was very slippery) slipped out of my hands and plopped straight into the bowl of milk!
I shrieked as it sizzled for around five seconds, and then disintegrated into milky nothingness.
I stared at the seemingly innocent (but really evil) milk numbly for quite a few minutes, mouth agape in shock. The tawny cat, sitting above my head seemed to be smirking triumphantly and shaking its head at me at the same time.
All of a sudden, something inside me clicked and I felt the tears begin to form behind my eyes. I promptly sat down on the hard ground and started wailing louder than a police car and an ambulance combined.
The cat stared at me for a while, and then curled up into a furry, tawny ball in the dryness of the tree as I sat bawling in the rain, wallowing in my misery.
AN: Hello . The first line of this story was inspired by the song Disintegration by Jimmy Eat World, as that was the song stuck in my head when I first started writing the story. I obviously do not own either that or Silver Blue and Gold, by Bad Company.
I don't know if these sorts of disclaimers are necessary but I did see it in some other fictionpress stories so thought I might as well do it too.
This story is dedicated to the victims of the terrible flood in Pakistan, and I would like to appeal to my fellow humans to please donate to help them in this crisis.