Three Words to Lose You, Three Words to Find Me

This is my first time to write a One-Shot story. Hope you like it. Please review.


We had a thing, you and I. It was passion. It was fire. It was epic. Your eyes burned me with your hunger. Your lips left traces of overwhelming desire. I let my hands grasp your hips tighter. You smile and nip my neck when I do this. We do this everyday before and after class. Nobody sees. Nobody hears. Just you and I.

I had just left the classroom and fixed my skirt. Bryan, the school quarterback looks at me. I know what he would see. My long ebony hair would be mussed from all the times you clenched it in your hand to breathe in my shampoo while you push yourself fully into my body.

My skirt would look rumpled because your other hand would be lifting it so you don't have any trouble while you make me moan and whisper your name. My blouse had the first few buttons undone from our haste lest we be caught. My lilac eyes are dazed but are burning with ardor as I remember the way your lips trail down my neck to my breast. I don't care though. I am much too in love with you to care about what Bryan or what other people thought.

My friends come up to me and reprimand me for this. They say you are just playing with me, that you could never love me. I scoff and ditch them. Who needs friends anyways? I have you.


I have a smile on my face every time I wake up in the morning because I know you'd be there before first period starts, waiting for me to make you moan and whisper my name as I kiss your neck and trap you into my embrace as we spend an hour in the secluded classroom. I have a smile on my face before I go to sleep because I keep remembering your wicked legs wrapped around my waist after school ends. We spend this time alone for another hour. No one sees. No one hears. Just you and I.

I let you leave first before I exit the classroom, watching your hips sway and your legs work as you walk wearing that short skirt I love to rumple with my hands. I leave after a few minutes and soon will be greeted with lots of lusty looks from girls at school but not before I notice one guy leaning against the lockers watching you walk away. I didn't like him.

We don't have any classes together. We see each other every lunch time but never look or acknowledge the other. It's my rule, you see… I watch you make your way to your friends' table as I walk over to mine. I see you having some kind of argument with them. See, you're a cheerleader and very popular. But you're different. I am the typical smart aleck that every jock in the football team hates, having bed their girlfriends. I see you stand up and leave your table. I shrug and do not care in the least. I just knew that you and I would still be meeting in the same classroom after school.

"Ryan, baby… make me happy?" The girl to my left says, this girl was suppose to be your friend. You and her go way back and she knew of our arrangement. That still doesn't stop her from throwing herself at me. And I wisely do not resist.

"I'll fuck you till you cry, babe." And I never lie. We did it in my car. Before fifth period.


It was at that time of day. I waited for you in the same classroom. I know you sleep with other girls. But I think what we have is special so I decide to tell you what I really feel. How my heart grows and beats each time to carry the love I have for you. What we have is special. I know that. I feel it in your touch. Though you won't admit it, I know it is different with me than with other girls. Only you struck this kind of arrangement with me.

So when you walk through the door that afternoon, I straighten and prepare myself for what I am about to say. You smile slyly at me, knowing what will happen. I return it in kind and you swoop me in your arms. I run my hands through your thick lush black hair and kiss each eyelid of yours. Your light green eyes sear me slowly as you remove my shirt and hike up my skirt. I kiss my way down your jaw to your chest, delighting in the way you shudder underneath my touch.

"Annalise…." You say my name like a prayer and I know that this was the right time to tell you.

In the throes of passion, we both breath heavily. We reach our release and I say three words that would change everything. "I love you."

I was looking at your eyes when I said it so I knew how you had withdrawn from me. I see your walls being put up. You dress in front of me without a word. It was the day I lost you. I lost you with those three words.

The next day, you weren't there in the morning. After school, you also weren't there. It was the third day without seeing you that I decided to find you. I did. And I wish I hadn't.

I heard you striking the deal we used to have with her. She was suppose to be my friend. I knew her from way back when. She was the one who felt strongly that I should end this with you. Now I knew why. Her long fingernails looked like talons as she dug it onto your back as you make her moan. It was my free period and you guys were doing it near the locker room of the girls. It was only you who preferred other company ever since we had that deal. I never strayed and you were my first. Seeing you with her made my heart stop. I felt tears running down my face as I hear her muffled screams because you had your hand covering her mouth so that no one could hear her. But I did. I hear her loud and clearly.

I turn abruptly not wanting to see or hear more when I bump into him.

I met sparkling brown eyes, laden with anger and despair. I knew him. He was the boyfriend of the girl you were having sex with in front of us. He took one look at me and then looked back at where he could clearly see his girlfriend having sex with you. I hear the girl's moaning stop and I knew she saw Caden.

"Caden.. I-"

"It doesn't matter Sherry." I hear Caden say. You look back at me then and I could tell that you were just frustrated that Caden had interrupted and that I was there. I could actually hear you thinking how much a stalker I was to you. You held contempt in your eyes as you regarded me with a smug grin.

It was then that the tears stopped. My heart stopped. It hardened. I made sure to remember the way you are looking at me right now. I made sure it hurt hard enough to stagger me. I made sure I felt nothing afterwards.

With a firm resolve, I let myself walk away with dignity as I followed Caden out of school. He offered me a ride home and I nodded.

The ride was silent and I turned to see Caden looking at me while we are stopped by a red light. His usual vibrant brown eyes held sorrow and regret. He's one of my most loyal friends. We grew up together with Sherry and he loved her dearly. He knew I felt the same way about you.

He knew I loved you ever since I laid eyes on you. I am sure I echoed his pain. He reached out and grabbed my hand. He squeezed it and tilted my chin to look back at me.

"I am here." He said burning me with his sincerity.

I made myself smile at him and say, " As am I."


What is wrong with you?! You ruined everything we had! You are the only girl who can make my heart beat faster from across the room and make my mouth water with just a flick of your hair! And you just had to go ruin everything with saying those three fucking words!

So I decided you are no use to me. I strike up the deal you and I used to have with Sherry. I immediately forgot about you once I started pounding into her. But can you imagine how mad I was when that stupid fucker interrupted us and you were there?

"Caden- I" Sherry said as she stepped away from me and tried to fix her dress.

"It doesn't matter Sherry."

I look at you then and notice your tear-streaked face and can't help but grin at you smugly. You used to be so hot. Now, you just looked pathetic. I knew right then that it was a right decision to leave you.


My true friends stuck by me. Especially Caden. He and I always made sure to spend at least an hour a day with each other. I don't see much of you and I don't bother to find you. Though, because of you.. I may never learn of love.

I am a bit early when I arrived in school but I never come an hour before school starts because I only did that for you. I see Bryan smile at me and crook a finger at me. I walk over to him curiously.

"I've been watching you." He says in my ear and I could feel his groin press against my stomach and feel his arousal. I shiver from the tone of his voice. He may be a jerk sometimes but he was an attractive jerk. I didn't fight it.

I smile seductively at him and tiptoed to lick his ears and led him to 'our' classroom. He locked the door and propped me roughly on the teacher's desk and removed my jeans and top. Other articles of clothing flew then he was inside me and I marveled at the ripple of his muscles as he moved rhythmically. I followed suit and soon found the release we both needed. We both pant heavily and smile at each other. It seems that I have replaced you and made a deal with somebody new.

I always used to feel something when I see you with another girl. Especially girls you strike deals with. I know this because everyone does. The girls brag about their time with you. I used to give you these sad, angry eyes. But now that I have a deal myself with Bryan, I found that I could even smile at you when I see you.


You always give me sad, angry eyes when you see me, especially when you hear the girls I strike deals with. Now…. I notice you don't anymore. I used to relish the feeling of rubbing it in your face when I have a new girl on each arm because you destroyed what we had by saying those stupid words. Why do you have to ruin something so perfect?

First, your eyes looked empty when you look at me because the anger died away. As each day passes, I notice your lilac eyes brighten up each day. You even smiled at me today. This confuses me. I see you have made up with your friends and seem especially close to this Caden. Is he the reason why you are happy?

Right now, I am sitting at my usual table in the cafeteria, a table directly across from yours. I see you laugh as Caden tells you this joke. He, then, whispers something in your ear, making those cheeks of yours flush a lovely color. I used to see your cheeks flush like that every time we finish having sex. I never knew that I missed it, until now.

However, I am not the only one who notices your beauty. Most of the guys in school are looking at you right now, as you bite your lips coyly and laugh lightly at Caden. But there's this one guy that looks at you a little differently than the rest. I see him then. I always watch him watch you every morning when you and I just finished our morning session. His eyes would always follow the swell of your breasts and the curve of your hips. I never really liked that quarterback.

You suddenly feel as if somebody is looking at you. I was expecting you to find my eyes but instead found his. I ask the girl beside me what his name was.

"Oh, my god! He's Bryan White! Our sexy quarterback! He's smart too, you know? He's in the honor roll!"

I am not impressed by this. I notice you shifting a bit in your seat. You're flashing a good amount of your leg to him. Every male in the school turns to look at this display. But you only had eyes for him, and he only had eyes for you.

I felt like something is wrong with this. So I knew what I had to do. I had to get you back.

I wait for you after school, right next to your last class. Once I see you, I grab you and lead you to 'our' classroom. You look up at me surprised but smile that smile I loved when I locked the door behind us. I ripped off your clothes and drown you in my kisses as you take off mine. We spent two hours reacquainting ourselves with each other's bodies. It has been a month since we last did this. I broke one of my rules by spending more than an hour with you. But I didn't care. I smiled because I knew I had you back.


I was surprised the day you suddenly grabbed me and led me to 'our' classroom. But smiled when you locked the door behind you. I wanted you. What's so complicated about that? Besides, I knew how you worked already so there's no reason for me to stop you.

We gradually set back to our old routine. An hour before school starts and an hour after school ends. But this time, I notice a change in you. You seem to want to lengthen our engagement. And I can't because Bryan and I were partners for a project so I always catch a ride with him after his football practice. You seem surprised that I actually have plans, because before I didn't have any plans other than being with you.

Bryan was typing furiously on my laptop when my parents came home. They insisted on inviting him to dinner every day since we worked on our project almost every single day. Bryan looked flustered but quickly agreed once he tasted my mom's cooking. I could tell that Bryan was growing on my parents. They only had me and they wondered what it was like to have a son. I didn't want to admit this but Bryan was already growing on me too.

One day, Caden and I decided to meet up at the mall. We hung out and watched a movie. Before we went home, we decided to have some coffee.

"I think you'd know better than to deal with that asshole again." He said to me while glaring.

"It's nothing but casual sex. He wants me. I want him. What's wrong with that?"

Caden shakes his head at me and says, "Is that what you also have with Bryan then?"

"Yeah. Plus, he and I are just friends."

"You and I are friends, Annalise. What you and Bryan have is not friendship. I just hope you know what you are doing. I do not want you to get hurt again."

I nod at him. I knew what I was doing. I knew you.

Bryan and I decided to take a break next day. We head on over to my room and found ourselves tangled on the bed sheets. I never did it in my bedroom, much less in any bed. It was a nice change. And it sort of became a routine for us whenever we were at each other's houses.


I was late for our meeting that afternoon. When I entered the classroom, I saw you looking out the window. You were so beautiful. Your hair cascaded down the small of your back like black satin, gleaming under the sunlight. Your wardrobe was impeccable as always, making you look like straight from the runway. I walked over to you and wrapped you in my arms tightly. You laugh softly and it makes something within me alight with such joy.

When you turn around in my arms, you gasp at me. You touch the bruises on my face and wipe some of the blood on my lips. I got into a fight today because I slept with the linebacker's girlfriend. You asked what happened and I told you.

You led me towards the clinic but it was already closed so you decided to clean me up in your house. I've never been in your house before. I knew you were well- off but not this rich. Your house looked like the small replica of the white house. I grin and tease you about this and you laugh. We never really spoke to each other. We had sex. We don't talk each other unless we give each other directions on how to please the other better. So, this was all new to me.

You sat me down on the plush sofa while you got the medicine kit. You came back with a smile and helped me clean my wounds. Your touch set fire to my skin even if I was in pain and practically winced each time you dabbed on one of the cuts on my face.

I look into your lilac eyes and feel myself falling into those captivating eyes of yours. I stopped you from cleaning my wounds with one hand and let myself look into your gorgeous eyes. Nobody cared this much for me and I kind of like the idea that you were the first one who did. You said your parents were on a business trip and so I spent the night with you. But we didn't have sex. We just talked and ate popcorn and watched a DVD. It was a change for me and I'm sure a change for our relationship or whatever it is that we have. I broke a rule again by spending the whole night with you. And we didn't even have sex! But somehow, somewhere inside me, found this much more fun than giving into our carnal needs.

I lay beside you and watched you fall asleep in my arms. Something about this felt wrong to me. But I didn't care. You're here. In my arms. I wanted nothing more than that.

I woke up the next day and found a note on the pillow beside me.

See you at school. There's breakfast on the kitchen table.

I smile at this and ate the pancakes you made me. I took a shower and made my way to school. Your house is not that far away so I walked since I left my car in the school parking lot. It's too late to meet you at 'our' classroom so I headed straight towards first period.

It's weird. How all I can think about the whole day was only you. When my teacher began the lecture, I wondered what you were doing at the moment or if you found your class boring like I found mine was. When I make my way towards cafeteria for lunch time, my eyes try to find you. And there you were…. smiling beautifully as you laugh with your friends. I find myself absently smiling back at you even if you couldn't see me. You are so beautiful today. You are wearing a short white dress that fit snugly with your curvaceous body. Your black hair was down and I wanted to smell your shampoo because I know your scent. It's sweet vanilla.

"Can you believe it?" One of my friends asked my flavor of the day.

The perky blonde beside me smiled. "I know right? I didn't believe it at first but I saw their pictures on face book and they look so cute together!"

John nods but has this look of disbelief in his face. " Maybe it's because they're just partners and they just I don't know, hang out?" John looks at me nervously but shifts his attention away from me when the blonde replies.

"I don't know." She begins uncertainly. " People keep saying they have something going on. Plus, look at the way they look at each other." The blonde whispers.

I don't know who the hell they were talking about but everybody at my table seems to avoid my questioning gaze. I followed their eyes and saw you. That quarterback is sitting at your table and looking at you with lust in his eyes. I smirk at this but feel it fade away when I see you return that lustful look in his eyes in kind. I feel something akin to anger build inside me. How dare he try to steal you away from me! Before I could go to your table and decide to teach him a lesson or two, the bell rings and off you go towards your next class. Caden follows closely behind you with the quarterback and I notice him laughing at something the guy said. Your friends titter and seem to enjoy the quarterback's company. It seems they approve of him.

I didn't know why… but something inside me tells me that I am not happy about that fact.

I was in the locker's room when I got into another fight again. I was putting on clothes and drying my hair with the towel when Lyle, the linebacker I told you about yesterday, sat down beside me and nudged me painfully with his elbow.

"Seems like you lost your touch, Ryan." He says with a smirk on his face.

I growl and shove him. "What the hell are you talking about dumbass?"

His eyes narrow at me but he continues to smile. "Seems to me that you're not the only one striking deals right now."

I feel myself stiffen at this. Lyle notices then chuckles.

"You're favorite girl seems to be having as much fun as you are." With that, I knew what everybody's been talking about. It just never occurred to me that you would do such a thing.

Everybody knew you were my favorite girl. Though, I liked to fool around with others, you were always the one I come back to. And right this moment, I knew the person who you struck a deal with, because he entered the locker room just now with a smile on his face, smelling exactly like you.


Bryan and I skipped class today. We went to 'our' classroom since I knew there would be no people who would bother on checking there. We locked it and spent the whole period there. I lay in his arms and traced gentle circles across his chest. He kisses the top of my forehead and I smile at this. Even if Bryan and I start out rough and fast, he always ends it sweet and long.

I feel my legs quiver when he touches me down there. His eyes aren't like yours. They look like liquid silver. I run my hand through his blonde tousles and kiss his chest. He shudders and we both make it gentle, sweet and slow like our second round always is.

When we finish, we go out together. He holds my hand and kisses me softly on my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks then my lips. I kiss him back and suck on his neck. He moans and I feel him stir again, pressed up against my abdomen. I laugh and so does he. Before I could react, he throws me over his shoulder and opens up the classroom and locks it again.

The next day, I went to school late so I didn't see you. Bryan and I have two classes together and one of them was first period. He saved me a seat beside him and I notice how everybody looks at us. It was the day we present our project in English and we got an A+. He kisses me softly in front of the whole class and I began to blush. He smiles at me and I at him. Bryan and I have gotten close over the past few months. He knows about the deal I have with you and whenever he sees me at school knowing what I've been doing with you, he seems sad and detached. But whenever he takes me home, I manage to make him smile again.

"I like him." Caden says to me. I look at him confused. I'm eating lunch and I see you sitting across from our table with a sour expression on your face. You pay no mind to the brunette who has tried to get your attention for the past half hour. I wonder what's wrong with you. But I shrug and don't bother, knowing you and I will still meet after school ends.

"I like Bryan. I thought he's an ass but he's okay." Caden clarifies. I smile at him and tell him that he better ask Mandy out on a date before someone does. He blushes and I laugh at him.

The bell rings, signaling the end of the last period. I said goodbye to Bryan and saw him smile at me sadly. He knew I was going to meet you.

Something inside me feels guilty but I still make my way towards 'our' classroom. I open the door and saw you there with your arms crossed against your chest, leaning against the teacher's desk. You looked like you were thinking hard about something. When you see me, you just look at me for a long time. Then I notice you holding a camera in your hand.

You walk towards me and smile. How you look so gorgeous when you smile. I feel myself smiling back at you. You suddenly take a picture of me and I blink.

"What was that for?" I ask. But you just smile at me.

"Now, a picture of us together." You say as you pick me up in one arm and put me down on the desk. You stand beside me with one arm around my shoulder and bend down as if to kiss me. Flash!

And that's how we spent the next hour together. We kept posing in different positions and backgrounds. We laughed and I grabbed the camera to take pictures of you too. But you seem to like it better when we're both in the picture. I can't help but feel different when I see this side of you.


The minute I saw the pictures you and him had on face book, I just knew that we should have pictures of our own. I wouldn't upload it on that stupid website though. Our pictures are just for our viewing pleasure. So the minute I saw you walk in with that smile of yours, I took your picture. I just can't help but to capture that moment of you smiling at me.

We got a little bit carried away and ended up using the whole hour taking pictures. There were ones where you sat on my lap and I was nuzzling your neck. There were ones where I carried you with one arm and took a wobbly picture of ourselves. We tumbled after the flash and you ended up on top of me laughing. I knew right then that I fell in love with your laugh. I look forward to everyday so that I could hear it.

The next day, I had been asked by my teacher to get some books for class. I grumbled all the way but stopped dead on my tracks when I saw you making out with him. There was something different about you. Your smile reached your lilac eyes making it even burn brighter. He had his hands on your waist, keeping you steady while you had your arms around his neck. Even the librarian didn't bother to admonish your behavior. She was looking at you guys with a smile on her face.

When I took the reserved books my teacher said for me to get, the librarian looked at me. " They always come here and do that. They do nothing more than kiss. Young love…." She said with a dreamy sigh.

I look at you one more time and you were just so preoccupied with him that you didn't notice how I stormed off and practically slammed the glass door on my way out.

I cornered you during lunch time and demanded to know what it is exactly you had with him. You just smiled at me and shook your head.

"It's just the same deal I have with you, Ry… Just at a different time."

I look into your eyes and see that you are telling the truth. I give you one heated passionate kiss before I set you off. People saw me kiss you and watch you walk away. I broke one rule again. They saw and they heard.

I sat down at my usual table and noticed how agitated my friends are. I decided to ignore them and just look at you then. They were just acting weird.

My breathing stopped. I saw you on the floor. Your friends hover over you but one guy pushes through. He gently lifts your head and cradles you into his lap and brushes your hair away from your face. Without thinking about it, I stood up from my seat and walked towards you. You looked so fragile and weak then. I crouched by your side and held your hand. Your pulse is weak and faint. I panic.

"I just called her parents. They're on their way. Apparently, she wasn't suppose to go to school because she had a slight fever but refused to stay at home." Caden said.

The quarterback nods at him and continues to stroke your arms gently.

"I can take her." I say.

He looks at me then, finally notices that I am holding your hand. He glares at me and picks you up into his arms, forcing me to let go of your hand. If only he weren't holding you, I would've beaten the hell out of him. But you were in his arms, looking pale and sick. I did something I still can't believe up to now, I stepped back. I watched him carry you away.

I saw your parents then. They were a handsome couple. No wonder you're so beautiful. You had your dad's thick black hair and your mom's lilac eyes. They focused on you and rushed over to him.

"Oh! Thank you so much Bryan! I told her to not to go to school anymore!"

You were still in his arms unconscious but your dad got you from his arms and made no show that he had any trouble of carrying you. He was strong, your father.

"Oh, it's no problem Nina." Bryan said. " Just make sure she's okay and tell her to call me when she's feeling better. I'll bring home any assignments the teachers might give us today." He looked at you in your father's arms, worry evident in his eyes. Your mom noticed.

"Nonsense!" Your mom said. " I know you're worried about her. Why don't you ask your parents if you can sleep over with us tonight. I do miss our late night movies with you and Annalise."

I felt a lump in my throat then. This deal you have with this Bryan….. it's different from ours. Your parents like him to the extent that even they, themselves invite him for sleepovers at your house! How unbelievable is that? But then…. I hear people talk of how you and Bryan spend most of the time together. I can't help but feel this intense clawing hatred for him. I even feel like you're betraying me…

"That would be great, Nina. I'm sure my parents would allow me to. They already look forward on having lunch with you and Glen."

Seeing your father smile at him, I knew they not only adored the guy, they loved him.


I woke up in my bed, feeling awful. The minute I open my eyes, I see Bryan's face. He smiles down at me and squeezes my hand. My heart beats frantically and I feel myself growing hot and somehow I knew that it wasn't the fever talking.

"You worried me. Don't you ever do that again." He says sternly. I look into his eyes and see the most beautiful swirling silver gaze. How can people have such beautiful eyes? As if he could read my mind, he shook his head at me and placed a kiss on top of my head.

"No. Your eyes are the most beautiful. Lilac eyes, so vibrant and full of zest when it comes to life."

I look at him in awe.

I touched his cheek.

I kissed his lips.

"How can you read my thoughts that easily?" I ask him.

He smiles at me and scoots me over so that he can lie down beside me. When he wraps his arms around me and I snuggle against him, that's the time he answers me.

"Because I love you."

And like what you did to me months ago, I felt myself withdraw from him and saw how fast it was to build up my own walls.

I didn't see Bryan after that. I avoided him like he was the plague. I realized how my life has changed ever since he came to my life. I never really noticed him back then. I just knew him as our school quarterback who always wins games for us.

He was a transfer student during our sophomore year. Though it was clear that he was outgoing, attractive and popular, he never really had any girlfriends. Or at least none that I know of. The whole school loved him. He isn't exactly the guy-next-door type like Caden nor was he the player type like you, but he was somewhere in between.

I love the way he looks at me, making me want to rip his clothes off but then after that I would find him looking at me like I was the only thing he was seeing in this world. It makes my heart beat faster every time he does that. He makes me feel wanted and special in a way sex can never bring.

It's like he loves me, the way those beautiful eyes look at me. And last week, he did tell me that he loves me. And I pushed him away like you pushed me away.

Last period just ended five minutes ago, I make my way towards 'our' classroom. I am surprised to find you there. Usually, I'm always the one who's first. You look at me and I see that you're angry. I don't know what I did to you to deserve such a look. You walk furiously to my side and kiss me roughly. It seems that you are in no mood to talk. It's okay. I wasn't either. I'm confused why you are acting this way. I noticed that ever since I have been avoiding Bryan that you are in a happier mood. You even took me out to the mall after class and decided to catch a movie with me.

As the week progressed, I noticed how you became more sullen than the next day. I wonder why but don't ask you anyways. It's not like we have a relationship other than this, right?

I feel your hands roughly take off my lacy black underwear. You rip it off and tossed it to the floor. I've never seen you this aggressive before. You suddenly pushed into me with great force that made me cry out loud. A mixture of pleasure and pain. You don't stop though. Your hips bang against mine and all we hear is the sound of our frantic breathing and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. All the while, you look into my eyes as if you are an angry lover and decided to punish me by handling me roughly. I do not care in the least though. I was angry too for no reason at all. And I wanted you to treat me roughly. You give a sudden cry and I joined you.

There's something in the way you look at me. I can't describe it. I could practically see your lips trying to form words that would never come. I stand up and dress myself. You are still naked kneeling on the floor when I close the door behind me. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. I didn't know what happened between us there but I knew that it won't go away if we don't talk about it. But that's the problem right? We really don't talk to each other much at all.

I walk my way towards my car at the school parking lot. It's dark and I feel something wet hit my cheek. I look up at the dark and angry sky and blink my eyes against the heavy rain. I didn't care on being wet. In fact, I found out that I really don't care much of everything at all.


I know. I cared about something. I cared about someone. And to my surprise, it wasn't you. It wasn't your light green eyes that came to view. It wasn't your black hair I imagine running my hands through. It wasn't your smile or your kisses that I longed to see and feel. But do I do anything about it? No. Why? Because I'm scared. You scared me. It just saddens me because through you… maybe… I may never learn of love.


I knew I was being rough on you. I didn't care. I was mad. I am mad. I'm mad that even though we meet everyday, even though we spend each morning and afternoon together, I could tell that you aren't here with me.

When I noticed you and the quarterback no longer being together, I was happy. I even took you to the movies after school, breaking one of my rules again. People saw us. People heard us. I didn't care though. Because after a long time, I felt that you were mine again.

I remember driving you home after the movie. You didn't say a thing. You won't even look at me. And when you do, it's like you're seeing somebody else. As the week progressed, I see you pulling away from me. I'm beyond mad. Why is that you distance yourself away from me when I just got you back?

So I took it all out. I took it all out on you. Your lips are swollen because of how rough my kisses were. I think bruises would appear on your skin because I held you tighter than I was suppose to. I expected you to get scared and mad at me but instead I found your lilac eyes equally furious as mine. I knew you weren't angry at me. And even though I was mad, you probably had an idea that I wasn't that angry with you.

You left first, leaving me to my thoughts. After a few minutes, I shook myself and dressed up, determined to talk to you. I didn't know what I was feeling. All I know is that I have to talk to you.

So I walk out to the school parking lot. It was raining heavily. I notice you standing in front of your car. Head, turned towards the sky. Your hair clung to your face as did your clothes to your body. You have never looked more magnificent to me at that moment.

Then I see him.

He walks to you, his eyes trained on you but you don't see him because you had your lilac eyes closed.

"I've been watching you." He says to you.

You open your eyes and blink up at him, confused. He was equally drenched as you are but this doesn't bother him in the least.

"Have you?" You whisper to him.

He steps closer to you and places one hand on your cheek.

"I have." He begins. His voice somehow deeper and rougher. " I always have. My first day in school, I sat behind you and asked for your name." He smiles at you because you looked surprised and embarrassed. "Don't worry. That was a long time ago. I don't expect you to remember."

You open your mouth to answer, but he places one finger on your lips before he continues.

"I watched your first cheerleading practice and every practice after that. I watch you every time our music teacher asks you to play the violin and love the way you smile after your performance when you hear applause."

He kisses the top of your head and wipes away your tears.

" I watch the way you and your friends goof around and aren't afraid to be yourselves everyday in school. I watch how you always blow your hair away from your face every time something aggravates you. And I watch you every time you seem so down and want to cry but don't."

You sniffle and he hugs you tightly.

"I watch how beautiful you are when you kiss my jaw down to my chest and the way you rake your nails against my back when you're underneath me.

I watch how you bite your lip when you're ready for your release and you whisper my name before you fall asleep in my arms."

He pulls away from you then and looks into your eyes.

"But most importantly, I watch you every time you get out of the classroom with him. I watch how dazed your eyes are and how beautiful you look and the way you smile while you remember his touches and kisses."

He grips your shoulders tightly.

"I don't want to watch that anymore, Annalise. I do not want you remembering your time with him. I want you to remember your time with me. I want to be the only guy you moan to and the only one your lovely legs will wrap around on. I want to wake up the next morning with your smile greeting me and only me. Not him. I liked you the first time I saw you. I liked you a lot the first time I talked to you and I loved you the first time you moaned my name. So please…. Annalise… stop making me watch you with him."

He looks at you and gives you a tender kiss on the lips. "I love you."

I am speechless. This guy, he loved you the whole time I thought he was just fooling around with you. You don't seem surprised that he loved you. Perhaps this was the reason why you avoided him. Like I avoided you….

You seem surprised by this confession though. You didn't know what to say. You looked up to him and smiled the most beautiful smile I ever saw. I knew what was to come. I knew what you were thinking. So I turned around and headed straight for my car.

I didn't know why. I didn't know when. I didn't know how. Maybe it was the way he looked at you. Maybe it was the way he said those words. Maybe it was your answering smile. But right then… right then… I knew how you managed to make me fall in love with you and managed to break my heart at the same time.


Ten years later

I am in a beautiful wedding gown. My hair is in a nice intricate braid with some curls framing my face. My face is all flushed with happiness and even I can't deny to myself that I feel very pretty at the moment. Ever since that fateful day, the day with the pouring rain, Bryan and I stayed together. We never fought. We never strayed. Our love continued to grow each day. I never saw you after our last meeting. You didn't come to school after one week. And when it exceeded more than that, we heard news of you transferring to another school.

We were all surprised. Not your friends though. They seem to know of your departure to England. I asked them what happened to you, if you were okay. And you know what they said to me?

"He loved you."

To say that I was shocked, was an understatement. But why would they lie to me? And if it were a joke, why did I get the feeling that when you and I had sex, it felt like you were making love to me at times?

I didn't completely forget about you. I'm sure you are thinking that I would. But I didn't. Bryan doesn't seem bothered about this fact. He knew you were my first love and he knew that I only had him in my heart.

So, we graduated. Bryan and I attended the same college and lived at the same dorm. We made many happy memories together. He took over his dad's business and I am still studying medicine.

He proposed to me on my birthday seven months ago. He made the same speech he did when we were drenched that very rainy day, but this was longer, deeper, and with more memories to recall from but not any less heartfelt than ten years ago.

I loved the man. He held me when my mom died. He makes me laugh and brightens my day when all I want to do is quit medical school. He makes everything bearable and more beautiful than its suppose to be.

So, imagine my surprise when I see you standing behind me when I look at the mirror to study my dress again. You haven't changed a bit. You are still that devilishly handsome guy I fell in love with before. Your light green eyes on my lilac ones. Your black hair unkempt yet stylish at the same time. You've grown taller and more muscular than before. I haven't heard from you for ten years.

"W-What are you doing here?" I ask you in a wobbly voice.

You look at me and shake your head.

" I just came from England two weeks ago. Imagine my surprise when I hear you are getting married."

You had an accent from your stay there. Your voice shivered me down to my spine. I had to look at you and keep on talking before I regret on doing something I shouldn't be doing.

"Ten years, Ryan." I say to you. I spin around to face you and lift my hand to your stubbly cheek. You close your eyes and lean to my touch as if savoring it for the last time.

"Ten years too late, Annalise." You say and grab my hand to kiss it. You put my hand on your chest, where I could feel your heart beating. "Ten years this heart beats for you. Ten years this fool has loved you."

I feel tears pooling in my eyes. " You pushed me away, Ry. You made your choice. I wasn't good enough for you then. What makes you say I'm good enough for you now?"

I push past you but you grab my wrist and say, "Marry me, Annalise. Marry me instead."

"I lost you with three words, Ry. Ever since then, I never believed in love. I never could. And that was all I stood for." I looked up at your light green eyes. "I lost myself and stopped loving you. But I still wanted you so I would still meet with you. But it wasn't love for me anymore. It was then that I met Bryan. I thought what we had was what you and I had. But he was different. And with the three words he said, I found me again."

You let me go then. And I married the man of my dreams. The one I should've been in love with the first place. He stood there smiling at me brightly at the altar. He took my hand and he had never looked more handsome at the moment. He was the greatest contrast to you. He had tousled blonde hair while you had jet black hair. His eyes were what I liked to call silver while yours are green. He was tanned and you were not. Though both of you were tall and muscular, Bryan was bigger than you. He had a bigger heart that won me over.


I watched you get married to another man. I watched you smile at him like he was your world. And I bet he was. You were the same lovely young girl I met in high school but you blossomed into a beautiful young woman. Seeing you, made my heart weak and strong at the same time.

I love you. I had loved you. I love you.

And as you were whisked away by your groom I can't help but feel that I had made the greatest mistake of my life when I had pushed you away ten years ago. Because I knew that I will never love another. I would only love you. It's like those three words made me lose you and those three words made me lose me.

Wow! My first complete story! Of course it's a One-Shot that's why it's easier to write than the rest I'm planning to write and everything. (oooh… blabbing here…sorry!)

I hope you liked it! I tried my best to make the story good and if there's one thing you will notice with me and my stories, you will definitely find that there is one thing that links them all together! Wanna know what that is?

Well, guess! Haha. Anyways… you'll soon find out what's the link more or less the theme I'm going for with my stories when you read them! So please DO read! and I mean it really! PLEASE READ MY STORIES! Hahaha. No threats there! Ah. I might forget! PLEASE REVIEW THEM TOO! AND I MEAN IT! See you guys some other time! :)