I have no reason to live. My life is over, so why can't I do what I want? What I used to always avoid, I now can not live without. Crack, methane, cocaine, and just all drugs in particular is what I need to survive. I am constantly on an upper or downer. Sometimes I get the doses just right and everything is perfect for just one moment of my life. Then it is over and I have once again no reason to live. I want to die and someday very soon I will.

My horrific life started on a day when I was so, so sad. I had had a completely rotten day at school. The man of my dreams, who I believed would never break up with me, did just that. He told me goodbye. Said how he still wanted to be friends. I hated his guts. He broke up with me on a Friday, so that weekend I went to my cousins. What I did not know was that secretively she was a druggie.

The first night I spent with her I did not get high, but the second night I did. It started with a question.

"Hey!" yelled Joshua, one of Sera's close friends.

"Wanna get high tonight," he giggled.

"Come on!" Shiranda echoed in. "It's fun."

"No," I started. "I don't do things of that sorts… but thanks."

"It's not like this once is going to hurt you," declared Jonnie.

I started to give in. "Well… okay."

I took a hit, then another. Soon I was so high. It felt so nice, like I had the whole world to myself. The room started to spin around and around. I heard myself giggle. I could vaguely hear my cousin and her friends laugh at me, but I did not care. I leaned over to the nearest person, who happened to be Joshua and began to make out with him. This made everyone crack-up even more.

I felt Joshua pick me up and carry me to a room, and then I blacked out.

When I came to I was sprawled out on an unknown bed butt-naked. I glanced over to see Joshua slumped on the bed right beside me. I climbed out of bed and stood up. I was instantly overcome with lightheadedness. I collapsed to the floor. I lay on the floor for several seconds then tried to stand. I was so dizzy. I searched the room for my clothes and picked them up one by one and got dressed.

I stepped out of the room and walked into the living room. People were strewn all along the floor. They were all out for the count. I laughed to myself at their idiocy. Then realized I was one of them. I ran out the door.

I walked the streets for several hours, wondering how I got myself into this mess and what exactly happened last night after I blacked out. After a while I decided to head to the house.