3I remember the first time I saw you.
We were at the music shop just down the road from my mum's place. I was there to get her an emergency CD because we'd run out of them for the Christmas party she was having and the people were demanding new music.
You worked there and you came up to me and asked me if I needed help finding something. I looked up into your curious green eyes and nodded, intrigued by your appearance. You had tattoos of dragons swirling up your left bicep and you had earrings. Your dark hair was curly and fell in locks around your face.
You then helped me pick out an AC/DC CD and you gave it to me for half price, not that it was much to begin with.
You gave me a cute smile and I couldn't help but smile in return. You then asked me out for coffee. How could I not accept?
We learnt so much about each other that day. We weren't awkward at all. I learnt you were a mechanic. You learnt I was a lawyer. It was like we'd known each other forever.
Four and a half months went by until you asked me the question.
My cheeks were cramping because of how much I'd been smiling that day when we finally hit off. You were wonderful every day to me. Completely different to what I'd envisioned to be the one I'd fall for but definitely worth it. You also didn't quite fit the standards of what a young sophisticated woman like me would have.
The adrenalin was bewildering every time we'd do something wild like ride your motorcycle without helmets or when you'd back me up into a wall and ravish me, leave me wanting more. But we never went too far and you never asked for anything more than what we had. I was still a damned virgin even if that was embarrassing to admit.
The first six months were bliss as they flew by. You were faithful and loving to me even though we both screwed up sometimes. I remember the first time you told me you'd loved me. You'd been so nervous to say so and I only caught your trembling hands to kiss them, telling you I felt the same way. No one else made my heart leap like you did in such a long time.
Under the tough skin you'd morphed for yourself was a small side that showed you cared; the typical gentleman. That was what I thought until one night a few days after our six month anniversary. I'd stayed back a little late at the law firm to finish off a divorce case so I'd decided to ring you to let you know I'd be late for our date you'd set up for us that night. You hadn't complained, only told me it was okay and you'd meet me there a little later on to give me more time on the case.
If only that were true.
I waited for so long at the restaurant. I waited two hours and you still hadn't shown up. I eventually just had dinner on my own because the owners were getting irritated at me for occupying a table when I was clearly not going to order anything. I was leaving the restaurant when I received a text reading,
I'm sorry.
Like hell you were.
Angry and hurt, I didn't take note of your apology. Instead, I made an impulsive decision: a mad dash for your apartment, the fury bubbling my blood. I stormed through the front door, knowing it was unlocked. I'd only taken two steps when I faintly heard a feminine moan. My heart missed a beat. I swallowed the bile rising up my throat as I carefully tread to the front of your bedroom door, the same door I'd been through so many times.
Please don't tell me it's true.
I breathed in deeply, pushed open the door and could already feel the tears brimming the edges of my eyes. This painful tear ripped at my chest. That pathetic yet righteous voice at the back of my mind screamed at me,
I told you so!
The beautiful woman beneath you caught sight of me and she froze, her perfect lustful eyes wide, her full lips gaping at my figure by the door. Their loving actions halted, hands still placed in areas you never touched me in. You followed her gaze to the door to find me, hanging onto the frame, knuckles white and my cheeks paled out.
Shock, confused, horror, realization and heavy guilt weighed down your glazed eyes before finally settling on guilt, rivaling my anger and pain.
You hadn't been doing anything. The two of you were still fully clothed but that split second before they saw me, I swore I was looking upon love dancing in your eyes. I was out the door before you could say anything else. My heart was lead in my chest, dropping down to the lowest level of agony, the worst there was. My legs carried me somewhere from there, tears tumbling down my cheeks.
I'd meant nothing to him.
I found myself at the park, the hazy moon providing dim lighting of the little area. I caught sight of the swings and my mind told me to go sit on them. My body complied. I swung up and down, a tiny part of me enjoying the airborne experience. The familiar squeak of rusty chains which attached the swing played over and over again whenever the swing hit a certain spot. Funny how the simplest things could set your mind at ease just for the moment.
I found a piece of paper and pen in my trouser pocket accidentally, had a thought then hurriedly scribbled down a note for you, fighting back more tears.
Then I heard your voice.
"Honey?"
I fell off the swing, grazing my knee, muttering, "Bugger it." The note remained in my hand. I didn't pay attention to the way my heart had jumped out from my ribcage at the pet name he had for me.
Strong arms lifted me to my feet. I knew those hands. Rough and callused from labour. My whole body tensed, bracing itself for something I didn't want to end but I knew it had to. It just had to.
"Sarah, please let me explain." You were pleading. Hell no.
"No, get out of here. I don't ever want to see you again." I growled, expertly hiding my pain. Really, I just wanted to collapse right here and break down but I had to be strong. You'd cheated on me, visually scarring me for life. "Go back to her, the one back in your bed." I sneered.
I didn't have to see you to know you bore a hopeless mask on your face. I knew you far too well.
"Please, honey. You don't know what -"
"I don't know!?" I screamed, rage overpowering me. I stood up, spun around and faced the man I was supposed to be in love with. I didn't look you in the eye. I couldn't. It would only make this conclusion I'd imagined much harder than I was going to make it be. Instead, I shoved my note into your chest, turned on my heel then bolted for my life, unceremoniously falling to the ground when I was half a block away.
You would never really know what I felt that night. Or that I cried for so many nights to come.
I will always remember that you lied.
A/N:
Okay, I had the urge to write something heartbreaking so I did. Typical depressing side of me.
Oh well.
Fia.