The Roofied Apples

I loved the girl. I really did! I treated her like I would my own, for God's sake… oh, you don't believe the ''evil queen'', do you? You have no idea how unruly and rude that girl was.

"I think you've missed a spot." Snow White told the servant who was vigorously scrubbing the floor.

"Oh, where?"

"Right here!" she cackled as she dumped tomato sauce all over the floor, much to the servant's dismay.

That just happens to be one example of her immorality. Okay, I admit, immorality is a strong word, but she needed discipline. So I made her do some household chores to see what hard work the servants did each day for us. She, of course, took it the wrong way, claiming that I hated her.

And now you're all wondering about my magic mirror, aren't you? I'm a narcissistic woman! Vanity isn't a crime. The mirror wasn't even magic.

"Gustav, would you please get behind the mirror?"

"Of, course, my lady." Gustav knew the routine. He got behind the large mirror.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" I asked, gazing at myself in the reflective glass while twirling my hair.

"Why, you, my Queen." Gustav muttered dryly. I was too fixated with my beauty to notice his lack of enthusiasm.

Snow White had walked in on this, much to my embarrassment and thought that the mirror was magic (since she hadn't noticed Gustav's feet and was a very imaginative girl). She was such a dreamer. If two servants were whispering in a corner, they were suddenly in love. And then my mirror became a magic mirror. I wanted the best for her, but the girl was a dimwit!

Now when Snow White was eighteen, I thought it was the perfect time for her to marry since I straightened her out with my discipline (ha!). I chose one of my cousin's sons, Adam, who was indeed quite handsome. But on the Eve of her wedding, Snow White ran into the dark woods, my guess to meet a lover unbeknownst to me. Then poor Adam ran after her, carrying a knife to cut the vegetation in his way, and with her odd dreaming, Snow White figured that Adam was trying to kill her.

That was when she stumbled into the seven midgets that personified different adjectives. She lived with them, yearning for her love, but had no way to contact him. I wanted her back. I didn't trust those midgets. So I drugged some apples and disguised myself as an old crone. I only wanted Snow White back, I didn't kill her! I injected roofies into the apple so she would fall asleep, but those midgets didn't get it and chased me away. I was so worried, her being unconscious with seven lonely midgets and all… if you get what I mean.

So, the midgets put her in a glass casket and wept like little children until some magnificent man on a white steed (who was actually Snow's lover) rushed to the casket and sobbed his eyes dry. Then for some odd reason, he lifted the glass pressed his lips to hers and she woke up (I suppose the roofies had worn off by then)! It was completely ludicrous. And like some sort if fairytale she hops on the back of his horse, while waving goodbye to the midgets, and they ride off into the sunset.

While she went off marrying that Prince, I was forced into a life of solitude (with only Gustav for company) since no one really wanted to be associated with the ''Evil Stepmother''.