My life is boring as hell. Plain and simple. I am just your average eighteen-year-old boy minus the alcoholism and sex addictions. I'm a nerd. I was voted most likely to be valedictorian at the middle of my junior year and I didn't disappoint anybody at the end of my senior one.

But back to my boring life. Nothing ever happens. Its just the same routine everyday. I wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, go to school, get straight A's, come home, homework, on occasion write some poetry, watch some TV, and then go to bed and repeat the process all over again the next day. My life had no purpose to it. I was unimportant. I was like qui Gon Ginn from Star Wars. He was just randomly there with no part in the plot or movies after it. Just like me.

Another little fun fact about me, I have incredibly low self esteem. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I'll stumble in to my bathroom, look in the dusty and cracked mirror and count all the things I see wrong with me. Usually about two minutes in to this self inflicted torture I break down crying. I cut myself a few times recently because of well, me being the way I am. But this has gone unnoticed for the past three years. Oh well, its okay, I try to lie to myself, it doesn't work. I feel my tears slide down my face and drip on to my hands. Great, I started to cry. Why am I so pathetic? I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. The glittering tears coming from my eyes and the lust of the blood around my wrists make me look like im fairly interesting. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and I was forced to clean myself up before Sarah comes home and kicked my ass for doing this.

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, Sarah's my room mate. Sarah was absolutely stunning. She had long, chestnut colored brown hair that went down to about the small of her back. She had a pretty heart shaped face and an hourglass figure.

Oh, and she had ginormous boobs. Because of this fact she had quite a few stalkers. They were usually spying on our apartment or following her around down town. I sometimes get really jealous of her. I would give anything, well, almost anything, for a boyfriend and she rejected about ten guys daily. It really hurt to think about it.

Not a second later I hear our dorm's door crash open and a loud "sigh" that was sort of a mix between a sigh and a groan. That was Sarah.

"O h man I'm so exhausted! Hey Devon where's the leftover turkey burgers?"
"They're in the fridge, bottom shelf in a clear container with a blue lid. You can't miss it!"

We had only two other things in there. I'd have to run down to the market tomorrow and get a lot of groceries. Man I do not want to do that. Maybe Sarah would help me carry them?

Ha ha, I made myself laugh. Sarah voiced my thoughts in not so nice words.

"Hey my bitch, you need to get your ass out tomorrow and buy me some food."

Oh how I love living with such a sensitive and considerate person. "Did ya hear me?" She shouted.

I face palmed. "Yes I heard you!" I shouted back.

She was silent for couple moments. Then "Hey are you okay? You sound a little upset."

Curse Sarah and her stupid psychoanalagy majoring. Lets see, what could I tell her…

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Okay then, goodnight." She hollered back. Great, she's suspicious.

You see, the thing about Sarah is if she gets suspicious about something she will stop at nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to satisfy her suspicions.

And is she ever found out what I've been doing to myself when I am alone…

Shed kill me, then beat me, then get me in to therapy, then kill me again just for good measure.

Sarah was really scary like that. I'll have to be really careful from now on.

I walked in to my bedroom, slamming the door with a loud thump. Hopefully that will keep her nosy nose from checking up on me.

I shuffled around in the darkness in the direction my bed and flopped down on my skellianimal sheets that Sarah had bought me. I was extremely tired, but I pulled out my diary and wrote down what I thought Sarah would like to read. You see, when I turned eighteen Sarah bought me a diary, it had a lock and I was given the key. Sarah hadn't mentioned that there were two keys though. How had I figured this out? I was sleeping in her room one night when she was on vacation because I missed her so much. And I saw a key that looked a lot like mine just sitting on her dresser. I put two and two together and realized she was reading my diary.

At first I was shocked, then I was angry, how could she do this to me? then I was sad, she didn't trust me to tell her about myself. The I was overjoyed, someone cared enough to see past my cheery façade and wanted to get to know me as a human being. A little contradictory I know but still.

This was back before we had gotten to know each other so well. Wow it seemed so long ago now. Man how time flies.

After I had finished writing in my diary, I put it back in my pillowcase, also designed with different variations of skellianimals and let my thoughts wander.

I wonder if tomorrow will be that much different than today. Will I ever 'get help'? will I ever get a date? That seemed really unlikely. Oh well, I guess ill just wait and see.

Sarah's Point of View

The little bastard was lying to me I just knew it! He thinks I wont find out whats upset him oh then he has another thing coming! And no it's not an orgasm, cause that would have put him in a good mood. Hm…maybe its because he hasn't had a boyfriend in well, a long time. That's always a possibility.

A ringity ding di dong, ringity ding ding dong!

Man I have got to get a new ring tone.


"Sarah! Oh my gosh how are you? I haven't seen you in like forever!"

"Crystal Snelling you just saw me the weekend before last."

"I know I did, but we only got to talk for about six hours!" And what a long and agonizing four hours it was.

"But any way Sarah, the gay guy at our school moved away!" Her voice became high pitched, like a whine. It really got on my nerves.

"I'm sorry to-"

"And he was so cool too!" She interrupted me. "He had like, the greatest fashion sense on the planet! And man did he know how to throw an awesome party!"

I was getting really annoyed now. "Why should I care Crystal? Sorry but none of it really matters to me."

"Well it should matter to you!" She huffed. "Because he's moving to L.A. you know, the town you live in!"

Oh, that makes things a little more interesting.

"Any idea what college he's going to go to?" Please say ours, please say ours, please say ours.

"Yours of course!" YES! That just leaves one more question.

"Does he-"

"Yes, he tops." Awesome. The gears were turning in my head.

"Uh oh, I can practically see the gears turning in your head. Whats going-" I hung up.

He's on top. That's perfect! No, beyond perfect! Maybe I could get whoever this guy was and set him up with Devon!

Hm, I would have to be pretty sneaky about getting them together though. I had already set him up with someone before. It would've worked out with him and Keith but they were both so submissive it never got very far. But they're best friends now so I guess it wasn't a total loss.

Lets see… a blind date maybe? No, Devon would say no. I could take Devon to his apartment? No Devon would probably take off running. I could chase after him, I've always been faster than him. No, its not worth it. Hm, what should I do?

I'm getting ahead of myself. What if they don't even like each other?

No! I cant think like that! They will meet each other, become friends, start dating, fix whatever problem Devon has and then live happily ever after in whatever state would allow them to get married.

That is what will happen and I will bludgeon to death anyone who tries to say or do otherwise!