let's play a Game
called life.
it's nOt a boarD game
or a card game
or a computer game
or a dress-up-and-make-belIeve game.
it'S a virtual game,
except it's real.

it's a game iN which
t
he lOsers die
and The winneRs diE hArder.
it's a game in which
you roLl a die and
your fate
or destiny
or whatever you want to call it
comes up.

It's my turn.
i just rolled.
i rolled an
'i might as well just kill myself.'
(i think that's somewhere
between 4 and 5.)

whoever said that
games are FOR little kids
was obviously wrong.
i'M a big kid,
and lots of thE other
sIx billion players
are big kids, yet
i understand my roll to be true.
Why should i
g
o through liFe,
pleASing people tHat will nEver love me?
Why should i
go through life,
helping others when i cAn't even help mySelf?

but that's just It.
i'D love to
see smug smirks sliding
off their faces,
namely hers,
if i did it.
it'd be her pills too.
But alas, i don't know
if thE dead can see the living,
and tHAt's not a chance i
should foolishly take.
besides, everything is outside-in
in Pansy's Paradise
if You know what i mean.

a/n: sorry about the choppiness...