I won't be home ever again, even for X-mas

Tristan thought he'd found the love of his life, but than he overheard a conversation on the subway…MxM

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

Edited by Lisa.

This chapter is for kikichaka, she's the only one who reviewed this story. Thank you again! Oh and you might grab a toothbrush, because really I don't know what's gotten into me, must be some kind of X-mas virus or something.

Five Years Later

I can't believe I'm visiting this city again. I never wanted to come back, but Prof Brunelli almost forced me to attend this meeting with him. I begged him to take Andreas or Kara, but no, it had to be me, because this is my field of work and only I can convince the investors of the benefits of cooperation; only I can present our results in an understandable manner, highlighting my own enthusiasm and generating enthusiasm in the potential investors. Duh.

I'm working for the professor for over five years now, I graduated and last year I finally obtained my PhD. The work is interesting, sometimes challenging, but more importantly yet, distracting. Yeah, I almost have no private life, and that's a good thing. I had two, no three short relationships, if you could even call them that, but nothing serious. I tried to move on after the disaster with Peter, but somehow I haven't been quite successful. He was the love of my life and it's difficult to find that again. Andreas says I'm a hopeless case and I think he's right.

Not only am I back in this dreaded city, but in the largest mall for Christmas shopping of all things. I hadn't had the time for this yet; the preparations for the meeting were time consuming and yes, I hate Christmas shopping. It reminds me of all the things I could have if… yes if I'd finally move on. Whatever.

All right, first a present for Kara. Well that shouldn't be too difficult. I just have to look for the next Victoria's Secret shop, endure the amused smiles from the shop assistants and buy her this bra and matching panty she showed me so conveniently last week in that ad. Of course, quite incidentally, she mentioned her size, because she just knows, if I'd guess, I'd be way off the mark.

Ha. One down, two to go. Next stop a toy store. I have to look for Lego Star Wars figures, because my little 26 year old buddy Andreas collects them. I think it's better then to look for a hot leather thong or something like that, but still…

Holy shit! The last time I'd been in a toy store must have been when I was fourteen; I had to buy a teddy bear for my new born nephew then. All this noise, the beeping and shouting and laughing somehow doesn't bother me too much though. After asking one of the surprisingly still cheerful shop assistants I find my way to the shelf with all the Lego Star Wars stuff. I scan the boxes and than grab the last box with a full collection of all the main characters from Clone Wars. Andreas will have a blast. Yay! Back to the checkout I survive a light-saber attack, though only barely, almost trip over a remote-controlled car and run into a doll carriage, but hey, it's Christmas.

Just when I'm paying for my Lego box there is a loud ringing noise and than the sound of clapping hands from a loudspeaker. I and everybody around me look questioningly at the cashier who then shouts very cheerfully "Congratulation Sir, you just won a nice price in our Christmas lottery!" By saying this he puts a red Santa Claus cap with white fur trimming and a big bonnet on my head and passes me a large plastic bag with an already wrapped Christmas present. "Don't look before Christmas, "he grins at me, and then whispers in my ear "You're lucky, it's a present for a boy."

Everybody around me cheers and claps their hands while I leave the shop with now two more bags in my hand almost in a daze. This has to be my lucky day.

Before I look for a music store to buy my last present, which would be the one for Prof. Brunelli, I have to go to the food-court. I'm starving. Scanning the mall for it, I notice one of this meeting points, where you can meet your friends or little children sometimes wait when they lose their parents. On the bench sits a little boy, if I had to guess I'd say he's around four years old, with black hair, a black jacket and the saddest, bright, blue eyes I've ever seen in my life. Tears are running down his face, dropping on his blue scarf, but the little guy doesn't seem to care.

I can't do other but to go over there, kneel down in front of him and ask him "Hey, little man, are you lost? Can I help you?"

But what really shocks me is when those bright blue eyes suddenly look at me hopefully and he almost tentatively asks "Santa?"

That is when I suddenly remember the cap on my head. Oh shit!

"Um…" Really, what can I say? I can't just crush the hope, which suddenly shines in his eyes, can I?

"So, why are you so sad, little guy" I ask him while I take his hands into mine.

"It's because of you…" he says with such a little voice, I almost can't hear him.

"Because of me?"

"Yeah, and daddy."

"Oh, so what did I do to make you sad?"

"When you were still in your business suit at the entrance of the mall, where all the kids can climb in your lap and tell you their Christmas wish…," he starts to sob again and so I get up, settle myself on the bench and he climbs into my lap.

"Yeah," I ask, holding him in my arms.

"I wanted to tell you my Christmas wish, so Julie said I have to stand in the line and wait till it's my turn. She didn't want to wait with me, but go to the music store. So I waited, but when it was finally my turn you went away…"

"Um, yeah um… I know that wasn't right of me, so… um I came back, and now you can tell me your Christmas wish. And then we'll see if we can find Julie, she's definitely looking for you already. What do you think?"


"All right. So what do you wish for Christmas this year, um what's your name again?"

"Tristan Tyler."

"Hey, my name's Tristan too!"

"But you're Santa…"

Shit! "Yes, but my first name is Tristan; but that's a secret…you won't tell any one, will you?"


"Oh, good. So, what is your Christmas wish this year, Tristan."

He reaches for my head and pulls me down, so that he can whisper in my ear "I wish what my daddy wishes every year."

"Um, and what would that be?"

"I don't know. He looks at a picture, which he hides in a drawer of his bedside table and says I only wish…. But you're Santa right? You know what his Christmas wish is, right?"

The little guy looks at me so trustingly and full of hope, I just can't say no.

"Yes, Tristan I know and I'll really try to grant him his wish this year, but you have to know, that sometimes it's very difficult, and it seems your dad's wish is one of those difficult ones…"

"But you're Santa!"

"Yes, and I'll try with all my might, I promise, okay?"

"Than daddy gets his wish," he says confidently when all of a sudden there is a bright flash of light.

I look up and there is quite the crowd surrounding us, some of the women even have tears in there eyes. Oh shit and I can feel myself slowly starting to blush in embarrassment.

"Oh, how cute," one of the girls gushes "Santa with a ponytail. And I ever thought he's an old man with white hair and a long beard."

"That's just his business suit" Tristan instructs the girl "and his real name is Tristan not Santa." He'd barely said that when he looks at me terrified.

I wink at him, get my bags and take his hand. "Come on, let's find Julie."

We make our way through the crowd, when I feel Tristan tugging at my sleeve "Are you angry with me now? Does daddy still get his present," he asks anxiously.

"Well, I just make her forget my name then, huh?" I smile at him while we make our way over to the music store.

"You can do that?"

"Well, I'm Santa, huh?"

We are just about to enter the store when a blonde girl around seventeen comes out. When she sees us she immediately starts scolding Tristan.

"Tristan" What are you doing here? You should stay with Santa till I come and get you again!"

"But I did" he says smiling at me.

She looks at me and opens her mouth to say something and I silently shake my head no. Then suddenly I feel like I should tell her not to leave a four year old alone in the mall and go into a music store. And although I'm not Tristan's father I do just that.

"So Julie, are you Tristan's sister?"

"Nah, I'm just his babysitter. His father told me to go with him to the mall today, because TT desperately wanted to talk to Santa this year and his father doesn't have the time to go with him to the mall."

"And do you think Tristan's father would be happy if he heard that you left his four year old alone in the mall, so that you could go into the music store?"

She blushes furiously, but then she says defiantly "That's none of your business. Who do you think you are?"

"But Julie, he's Santa." Tristan says reproachfully.

"That I am," I smile. "But now that we found Julie and you're save, I have to go. Good bye Tristan, it was nice to meet you, and marry Christmas." I tousle his hair and start to go away when he calls after me "Don't forget daddy wish San…Tristan, okay?"

"I won't." I wave at him and then enter the music store. I have yet to buy the present for Prof. Brunelli after all. Somehow I feel elated, hey I'm Santa, but at the same time I feel really bad. I'm not Santa and I won't be able to grant Tristan's dad his wish, whatever that might be. Shit!

And I'm still starving, but I think I'll eat at the hotel. Somehow this whole Christmas thing is beginning to depress me somehow. I really should have never come back here.

I'm sitting in the breakfast room of the hotel, when suddenly a very cheerful Prof. Brunelli enters the room, waving with a newspaper.

"Tristan, when did you want to tell me about your second job?"

"I beg your pardon?"

That is when he shows me the local newspaper, where I can see a picture of me, sitting on the bench at the mall, that ridiculous Santa cap on my head, holding Tristan in my lap while he whispers his Christmas wish into my ear. And that's not all. Its subtitle says: Here is the proof. Santa really works 24/7. Even in his private time he listens to the children's wishes. And for all of you out there, who ever wanted to know what Santa's first name might be, it's Tristan. And he currently resides…no, no even Santa needs some peace and quiet every now and then. Thank you Santa!