5Hey all, I thought I'd better introduce my story somewhat. This is the first short story I have ever really written so here's hoping it all goes well. It's a little 'bizzare', some of the people i've shown it didn't get it unless they had a bit of an open mind to strange concepts, lesson learned, no parents =]
So I hope you will read it and I hope you'll like it enough to give me a little review, positive and negative criticisms are always welcome, I can only improve right? As long as they have real reasoning behind them of course.
Enjoy! Or don't, I won't force you.
Eden
Falling. She awoke, auburn hair draped across her face. Gasping soundlessly she took in the room as she sat up. A dark gray light permeated the space, pulsing from the huge machine staring down the enclosed room. It pointed at the cold metal table on which she sat, terrifying her with its presence. It rumbled menacingly then settled into silence, like some deep sleep. The light persisted. She raised a trembling hand to her face, deep brown eyes wide with fear.
Her mind was blank, truly, not a scrap of her life existed, the corridors of her mind lay empty, not even a name existed.
Feeling cold she decided to get off the table, pushing off with frail wrists. The hem of a cotton white robe caressed the floor as she stood. The burnished metal of the room felt cold under her toes as she padded silently towards a half open door. She opened it and stepped out.
The sun blinded her momentarily as she emerged, causing her to move shakily behind some shade. She rubbed her eyes with the back of a hand. The hand fell in shock as she took in her surroundings.
An expansive city rolled all around, rose coloured stone skyscrapers punctuating the sky. Nearer by, smaller houses sat comfortably together, being warmed gently by the sun. A cloud disturbed the patchwork blue sky, creating a nice shade down a wide street. It was this street the decided to follow, leading to a large open square, coloured compass points painted on the ground, spitting in all directions. Surrounding the square lay a ring of buildings. She approached one. She brushed the strange stone that marked out all the buildings, pleasant grooves spiralling under her fingers.
Entering the building she was next to the plainness of the outside washed away. There was no door, but that was soon forgotten. A dark wooden counter gave away the fact that this was meant to be a shop, though of what was impossible to tell. The room was richly furnished, a thick square rug covering the dustless floor, wooden and leather chairs relaxing against the bright yellow walls, themselves bathed in hangings. Though it was cluttered it still lacked something.
Taking a varnished staircase in the far corner to the second floor revealed more rooms, all full of furniture. A dining room welcomed her, its square table, complete with perfectly placed cutlery, waiting for someone. However no food could be seen anywhere. Further investigation revealed bedrooms with quilted beds, never slept in. No part of the building seemed to have seen a person.
Retreating down the hallway from where she came she passed a large empty bookcase sitting awkwardly next to the wall, almost ashamed of itself. She decided to leave the shop.
Back in the square the she realised that from the outside she'd never know which building she went in. They were identical. Dispelling the thought she looked down at the compass. The sun highlighted the eastern fork, giving her enough reason to continue that way. She followed the path for a while, occasionally dipping into buildings, all similarly missing doors and windows, the shadows of the interiors seeming cool and inviting.
She found houses and apartments, all fully ready for living, furniture and furnishings, countless different styles and themes waiting patiently for owners. Yet each still felt empty, not one held any food, or water for that matter. Picture frames hung blank, wardrobes and cupboards seemed cavernous in their loneliness. None had ever been lived in. None held anything personal.
She kept walking, distance being marked by the increasing size of the buildings. Deciding not to enter one of those she walked on.
As the sun waned into late afternoon and the buildings began to glow orange when sun kissed, the nameless girl began to feel thirsty, then greatly thirsty as she plodded on. She felt her eyes begin to close as the wished with all her body for water. Then her foot stepped on something prickly.
Panicking slightly she opened her eyes, revealing emerald green grass ahead of her.
Just as she had wished, there was water, a crystal stream curled leisurely through a large park. She ran until water splashed like shards of glass in the air relishing the cold bite it had, drinking and bathing in it. She wallowed until she grew cold, and crawled out, removing the sodden robe and lying in the sun. After a while she became hungry so looked around the park, taking little time before she found a mini grove of fruit trees planted perfectly in line. After sampling some, amazing at the variety of tastes, she lay in the sun once more, feeling truly at peace.
As she lay the city grew dark around her, and buildings plunged into a deep blue. The sombre city watched on as the girl awoke, staring up for hours at the millions of pinpricks in the sky captivating her. They provided more than enough light to see by and the night was warm so she went back to sleep in the garden, her garden.
Days went by; the unnamed girl ate, drank and lived in the park, taking time to explore the city in its majesty. Nothing weighed her mind and she floated free, happy. Her home was everything; even the lack of company didn't worry her, the purpose of the city, unthought-of in her mind. One day, several weeks after that first, was completely different.
She had decided to test the limits of her home, taking some fruit from the grove on her trip. After only a few hours of walking the buildings, by now like the backdrop of her garden, gave way to nothing. She continued on. Now the buildings were clear she could see that picturesque blue sky ahead of her, the sun was ahead of her. She kept walking.
The edge of the city came before her, but neither grass, nor stone lay beyond it, nothing did. The last bit of road simply collapsed into thin air. Taking care not to lean too far she looked beyond the precipice. The ground fell away, miles down, to an azure sea. It twinkled at her. She lay on her stomach to see further under her. She gasped. The city floated. It sat above the water, motionless, defying logic. She drew back from the edge in panic, it didn't make sense. She lay there for minutes, panic subsiding as she looked away from the edge. Then she noticed something. There were footprints in the dust after the paving stones of the floor gave way. She stood. They came right up to the brink, even seeming to step off the edge. They were a woman's, about the size of her own.
Suddenly she felt the need for her garden, too much had changed. She began to walk back, seeing the city in a new light. Gaping window spaces watched her as she went, a thousand eyes of darkness on her back. The soulless shells of houses sat empty, ever devoid of life and warmth. The city was a monument, a graveyard. The sun could no longer caress the rose pink stone, the dry tombstones merely twinkled like gaudy pebbles. Only the garden was alive, was safe. The girl felt tears prickle her cheeks as she began to run.
Eventually her feet once again felt the prickle of grass. She collapsed gratefully; face pressed against the turf, weeping as her home, her illusion of home, cracked like glass. After a while the grass began to tickle and irritate her face and body. She stood up, looking for the robe she had worn on that first day. It lay discarded, dirt stained. She donned it anyway, for the comfort of its warmth.
She went down to the stream, cupping a handful to her mouth. It stung with cold and felt tasteless, hollow. She walked over to her grove, the fruit shone invitingly. But again it revealed nothing of its former glory, almost bitter in her mouth. She sat on the grass, fruit lying around her, bite marks standing out harshly. She sat, knees to chest, and cried again, shaking as she did. Her illusion of home was now truly smashed. She cried there for hours, an unknown girl in an unnamed hell.
When she finally stood up, she had stopped shaking. She walked with determined steps, walked out into the city. Her eyes saw nothing as she trod on. The edge of the city grew closer, until her feet found themselves away from the paving stones and onto dusty ground once more. She didn't notice as her tread fell into the abandoned footprints she had found before. She noticed nothing until her toes curled over the edge of the rough, crumbling edge of her world.
She stood for a moment, illuminated by the light of the newly risen moon. It picked out the dirt of her clothes, the remains of fruit on her cheeks, every imperfection shone. She stepped forward...
X
Falling. She awoke, auburn hair draped across her face. Gasping soundlessly she took in the room...
So there we go (anyone else tired?) I'm gonna go ahead and hope if you're reading this bit then you read the whole story, in which case a little woop is in order! Thanx for taking the time out to read, you've improved my day a little, but I have to be annoying and ask you to go just theat little bit further and leave me some sort of comment. I know, I'm cheeky haha
Thanx again!