I used to think it was you.
I used to think we would always be.
I used to think your smile was the most beautiful
Thing I'd ever seen.
I used to think we would have a family.
I used to think I was really in love..
I fought off the longings for her,
I sacrificed myself
And what could have been,
Though mistake it would have turned out
I died and then I didn't belong
To anyone, anymore.
I was free.
I was happy.
I changed my address.I changed my hair.
I changed my style.
I changed everything about me that you
And one day I realized that changing myself
Was really for you.
To keep you away.
And so I changed myself again.
And when I was happy
I changed again.
Now that I have grown weary of change,
Tired of hiding,
I am finally doing the best thing I have ever done with my life.
I'm getting help.
You never understood,
She cannot help me,
No one really knows.
Not even me.
And as I change for the last time,
I realize that it never really was
But now, I have "her,"
Whom I will replace with "you."
And I am finally,
For the first time in my life,