A/N: HELLO! Here, have a oneshot!
ABOUT THE RATING: Nothing worth an M rating happens, there's talk about sex and A LOT of bad language, so basically, if the F-bomb and other language as such offends you then you shouldn't read, but if not you'll be fine.
I hope you enjoy this, please offer me any feedback/constructive criticism you can think of, it all helps. Also if you're here because you have me on alert from one of my stories, don't give up on me! :)
Also, longest oneshot of mine ever – woo!
Ash was clearly horny tonight, unsurprising after he'd spent all night checking out the sluts parading around the bar we were currently in. That and he'd spent the last five minutes with his full attention focused on my neck.
"Ash, cut it out." I push his hand away from my thigh and try to squirm away as I had numerous times earlier. He ignored me and smirked against my neck – so wide I could feel it. I frown and meet the blazing eyes of my best friend. Will was furious. He had only agreed to come tonight because I had promised him that this wouldn't happen, that he wouldn't end up sat by himself like an idiot while I suck face with Ash.
My boyfriend and my best friend hated each other, and they always had. I had been friends with Will long before I had even known Ash and they hated each other in school, so I had spent all of my two years with Ash trying to bridge that gap between boyfriend and best friend, with decreasing success.
I had forced them both here tonight, on neutral territory as a last ditch attempt to try for a nice night with them both. I wasn't even going for friends anymore, just avoiding the glares or the verbal sparring would be nice.
Will only agreed after much protesting because I promised that I wouldn't ignore him and Ash only came to piss Will off. And I have realised also because he's hoping to get some afterwards.
Also, I wanted to prove to myself that Ash would be able to do it too – have a normal night out and that he was capable of being a friend as well as an overly horny boyfriend. Apparently not. I was losing hope.
Fed up of enduring the slobbering and terrified about thinking what state my neck would be in I stood up for a well needed drink and when I returned it was to a stony silence. No sooner had I set my drink down on the table was I pulled towards Ash in a demanding kiss.
Something passed quickly over Wills face. He looked almost hurt, and then as soon as I thought I had seen it, it vanished and he was back to his normal self. Back to being pissed off. Knowing at least some of that was directed at me made my stomach clench in guilt.
"I'm getting another drink, I need one to put up with this shit."
I followed him to the bar and watched him easily neck a shot and take an impressive gulp from his lager. He had been spending a lot of time here lately, drinking and hooking up. I was worried about him.
"I'm finishing this drink and going."
"What the fuck! You promised you wouldn't bail!"
"There's a lot of that going around at the moment."
"I'm sorry." I looked into his eyes trying to make him see that I meant it, his frowning green ones met mine and they softened slightly, I saw them leave mine and drift over my shoulder and they were stone cold almost instantly. I turned and scowled myself, Ash was sat oblivious to our attention, checking out a party of sluts on a hen night.
I'm not the type of girl who puts her boyfriend before her friends, as proven by the sheer effort I had put into trying to force them both together. Unfortunately, I was the type of girl who stuck with a guy who couldn't keep his eyes to himself.
"Why the fuck are you still with him _? You deserve so much better."
"Don't say –"
"You do. You deserve someone who wants to make an effort with your best friend, who can spend the two hours it takes to do that at least faking a smile, not latching on to your neck and eyeing other girls up while he does. Someone who doesn't cheat on you or think about it al the damned time. I'm your best friend, it's my job to keep scum like him away from you, why don't you listen?"
My stomach sank, "I'm beginning to think I don't even know why I'm with him myself." I ignore how his face seemed a touch lighter at this comment. "I wanted tonight to work you know? Wanted him to talk to me. Talk to you."
"Both of which were a long shot. I bet he hasn't even asked how you are. I mean come on, I know I can be a slut but I never cheat."
"Please just stay."
"Fine but when I pull I'm off. I haven't gotten any in a couple of weeks and I need something to stop me from feeling so pissed off."
I noticed a significant change in his body language from that moment on. He was turning on the charm with whoever he thought looked like a suitable candidate. He was an excellent judge of character and he wasn't a whore. He liked to hook up but he made sure whoever he hooked up with was looking for exactly the same as he - a non committed good fuck.
Girls were usually just as willing, if not more, than he. He was gorgeous after all. He had that shaggy dark hair that people pay a lot of money for and spend a lot of time on, only his was effortless and his green eyes could have been made from glitter for all they shone, his teeth were perfect and his body was fit. A benefit of being involved in every sport you could think of.
I think that Ash is jealous of Will's looks – and I know he hates that I find him attractive. It's not that Ash isn't attractive because he is, only you can tell that he works on his – his blonde hair takes longer to tease to perfection than it takes for me to roll out of bed, shower and dress.
After ten minutes of eye flirting Will's target approached. A confident but non slutty brunette – she was wearing a really nice shirt to accentuate her boobs, but she also wore jeans and I know that Will liked that. He never went after the obviously easy ones. 'If she shows off her legs or her tits and not both, she's a catch' he always says.
He smirked. Target acquired.
"Babe," Ash whispered in my ear. Seeking attention no doubt. "Babe, I'm bored. Let's go back to yours."
"I know what you want and I'm not in the mood tonight."
He whined. "Come on!" And he was on my neck again.
I growled – in frustration not driven by sexual desire. "No. I asked you to come here tonight and make a fucking effort but you haven't even asked me how I am all night and you expect me to lie down and spread my legs."
"I'm not expecting it but it'd be fucking nice."
Something stabbed in my chest, but I push it down and shoot him a glare. I turn to Will and the girl who was sat in the seat next to him and smiled at me warmly.
"So, shall I come get you in about ten minutes then?"
"Yeah that's great." She walked away towards a group of girls who had been pretending not to look over every other minute.
"Nice one." I smirked at Will who quirked his eyebrows and shot me the lopsided grin I loved so much.
"Yeah, brilliant mate." I turn to Ash. If he was talking to Will then it couldn't be good. "Take advantage of the numerous shots she has to have had to find you attractive. One night of glory with her might even make up for you being alone all your life."
I shoot him down instantly. "That's enough Ash. You're out of order." I couldn't let that one slide, Will used to be really insecure. He enjoyed a good night every now and then with a random girl, more frequently when something was bothering him and he wasn't looking for a relationship, but a couple of years ago at eighteen when we left school he went through the stage of being an actual will-fuck-anything-that-moves slut. It's taken me years of pure best friend power to build his self esteem up, he was never overly confident in school and when he left he pulled girls because he was surprised he could. He isn't that naive anymore, he's aware of himself. Time has done him well but it didn't change his past.
"Look who's being a little bitch because his girlfriend just told him he'd have to make do with his right hand tonight. Denied."
I blushed, not realising he had heard the earlier conversation.
He stood up signalling to the girl that he was ready to go and taking her hand his eyes found mine, "night Laura."
It took twenty-five seconds after his departure before Ash announced he wanted to go too and I have no doubts he was trying to make sure that Will's comments about him having to resort to pleasing himself didn't turn into reality.
When he found out they would be he left.
I didn't find myself caring all that much.
The next day I returned to my little apartment to find Ash waiting outside. With chocolates and flowers. I smiled.
"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were mad at me."
"I shouldn't have been. Sorry."
"That's okay. Come on in."
I kicked my shoes off and padded over to the settee reaching for the television remote, fully intending to curl up and doze in front of some god awful show hoping that Ash was feeling repentant enough to pay for take out food,
It turns out he was a different kind of hungry.
"I'm sorry babe, you weren't in the mood last night. I shouldn't have pushed." He sunk down next to me and kissed me gently and I smiled against his lips, apologies from him were rare. The sensitivity of the moment was lost when he gently turned me and pushed me on my back, crawling up my body and supporting himself above me with one hand his other, went quickly up my shirt.
"For fucks sake Ash, you're so obvious."
"I don't hear you complaining."
"Well I am so get off."
"For fucks sake. I brought you flowers!"
"Seriously? That's your reasoning? You buy me flowers and that equals a quick shag in your book?"
"You blow everything out of proportion."
"Is that all you came over here for? To get some?"
"Pretty much since I haven't got any in fucking ages."
"Is that all you care about?"
"Well I'd rather shag you than talk to you if that's what you're asking yeah."
"Just fuck off Ash, we're through."
"Will was right I should never have stuck with you for this long, you've been like this for months and I always insisted on giving you one more chance but you just aren't bothered in having a proper relationship."
"Might've known he'd fucking be the reason." Ash spat.
"He has nothing to do with this."
"Sure he does, because when you're all alone he's the one you'll run too and he's gonna jump at the chance to finally get in your pants. I'm surprised he hasn't already. Or has he?"
"Real mature. Might I remind you I'm not the cheater in this relationship."
"If I'm supposed to feel guilty it's not working." He smirked and my stomach turned cold. "When I said I hadn't got any in ages I meant off you, I got some last night."
I crossed the room in wide strides and angrily rose my hand to slap the fucking smug look right off of his face only I never got that pleasure. He grabbed my hand.
"You don't hit me bitch."
"You're a fucking frigid bitch anyway. I shouldn't have made the mistake of thinking you were worth keeping around after I got your virginity. Thanks for that one by the way, Will hates me for it. If you want desperate-please-don't-leave-me sex then give me a call, otherwise I'll be off with girls you can only dream of being like and you'll be here, alone. When Will makes a move on you tell him from me you always were a shit shag anyway."
And he left.
I marched over to the door and opened it again just to slam it. I furiously turned the lock and spun round to face the room, refusing to acknowledge that I could barely see because of the wetness filling my eyes.
Will had been right all along. He was only out for sex. Well I did say he's a good judge of character didn't I? I'm so fucking blind.
He hadn't upset me with his words, I was always good with those – I can take insults, all the stuff he had said about being with other girls better than I am was bullshit, I know I'm a damn good catch.
I was more upset with the knowledge that I had tried to hold onto something so obviously rotten. I should have left him months ago. He just used me for sex and couldn't even be arsed to keep up the pretence he cared about me anymore.
Serves me right I guess.
And bringing Will into it? What a fucking dickhead. He was always throwing remarks around about him I didn't understand and they always pushed a button in Will, though I don't know why.
I don't know whether to cry or shout, sit or stand but I do know that I want my best friend. Shakily checking my watch I see he should be walking home from work right about now, so I call him.
For fucks sake.
He wasn't at work, his shift ends at nine and it was gone that time, usually he would have answered his phone by now.
I text him, 'pick the fuck up, I need you xxx'
I ring him again and several times after.
Frustrated and increasingly growing to be more upset I take a long and scolding shower sitting on the bottom and enjoying the peace.
I ring him again when I get out, my eyes wet from tears and not water from the shower.
He picked up but it wasn't the comforting phone call I wanted. "Hey Laura. Listen, I can't talk now I only answered because you've rung so many times. Is it really important?" He was talking quietly and fast.
"Why can't you talk? I need to talk to you."
I was being irrationally demanding and needy but I was upset and damn well allowed to need my best friend.
"Are you in danger?"
"Well no but -"
" - I'll ring you later when I'm finished here."
"Where are you?" I hear a voice in the background, a female voice crooning how she hoped he was okay and my blood boiled.
"I need you. You can tell I'm upset. But whatever. I'm sure banging the slut you're with is much more important. Is this all because of last night? That's so pathetic. You know I've watched you go through a lot of friends and I've watched you be a dick to a lot of people but I've always stuck by you because I always thought that being your best friend meant that there was a limit." Through my cruel words I was vaguely aware I was in fact the one crossing limits. I was tearing down protective mental barriers I had helped to build with harsh, not even true words. But I was too angry and too upset to care. Too selfish to feel guilty. So I carried on. "I thought I was that limit. If you want to refuse to talk to me then fine. Don't bother talking to me again though."
"Laura woah! Just let me explain!"
"No. I deserve better. I'd rather have an ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend than carry on thinking either of you ever gave a shit about me."
I hung up and turned my phone off.
The tears I shed over Ash were nothing compared to the sting of my best friend ignoring my calls in favour of getting his dick sucked.
"Hi mum." I sighed after answering the phone. It had been a week since I had broken up with Ash and during that time I had given up hope that when the phone rung it would be Will. I had told him not to call after all.
Clearly my desire to have him call me means that I was losing the battles of wills it took to keep up a fight between two friends as good as we. As much as I wish he would call me I know that what I said was far too harsh to deserve it, although at the same time, I had spent the last three days wallowing in the disgusting self pity of a long overdue painful break up and I was doing it alone, and I still resented him for that.
"Honey, tell Will that I'm so proud of what he's done."
"What do you mean what he's done?"
"Don't be ridiculous. How is he anyway? The article said he had a broken rib and that he was very sore but I don't know what else he suffered from even though it said he was quite lucky. I was so worried when I first saw, although you should have told me, I wish I hadn't had to have read about it."
"Mum what the frag are you on about? Will's not hurt! Well at least he wasn't, I haven't actually spoke to him in a few days…"
"Oh. Oh honey. You don't know do you?"
"Did you fight?"
"Yes." I wasn't too keen on revealing my new marital status to her since she had never liked Ash either. Seriously I think I was the only one to have been fooled by the wanker.
"Sweetie, go down to the shops and buy a copy of the local newspaper. Page 20. I can't believe he hasn't told you. He's such a lovely boy."
"This isn't a joke is it?"
"Of course not. Give him my best."
"Okay, bye mum I'll go now." Anything to stop my mum from having to tell the story, I swear she fancies him. "Love you."
"Love you too."
What the fuck had that been about?
Considering she hadn't even asked how I was I'm guessing whatever's in this newspaper can't be good.
Luckily, there is a convenience store opposite my apartment so I slip my shoes on to buy one. Too curious to even wait to return to my apartment I lean outside the shop and find page 20. Amidst the gardening advice columns and advertisements there was really only one article that it could have been, my eyes widen as I urgently read."Local Hero Defends Homosexual Rights.
Two lives were at risk from a brutal attack on the night of September 17th. Local young man Will Robbins, 22, stepped in to defend the victims.
Walking home from work at approximately 7pm Will overheard a disturbance in a side alley, taking the time and care to secretly discover what the noises were he discovered two young teenage boys being viciously attacked by three men. Will quickly called an ambulance and the police to assist the victims. However that is not all that he did."
Shit. Fuck. What else did he do? I was gripping the paper tight enough to get print all over my hands – which were beginning to shake anyway and I force myself to read more. Desperate to know.
"Will confronted the attackers in order to draw attention from the victims. Such an act of kindness and bravery must be noted, the attackers had no weapons but of course had the advantage of outnumbering him three to one. Will's courage enabled the men to be present at the scene for the arrival of the police and all three were caught and are currently being held in police custody.
The two boys, aged 17 and 18 years were rushed immediately to the hospital both suffering from concussions, broken ribs and heavy bruising to their entire bodies. Each had their noses broken. One boy, the youngest, had his arm broken and the other, two fingers on his right hand and the need for emergency dental treatment. There is no doubt from the police that the attack would have been much worse had it not been stopped and the doctors treating the boys noted that they were lucky to not sustain any permanent damages. Will also accompanied the boys to the hospital. Police have said that he was doing well defending himself and luckily they arrived before the three men could do permanent damage to him. Will also had a rib broken and whilst sore and bruised on the majority on his body was overall lucky due to the prompt arrival of the police.
It has been revealed that the two boys were attacked for walking down the street, hand in hand, and hearing the homophobic slurs called out by the attackers only fuelled Will's desire to protect the couple.
Homophobia is even in today's society is still a heavily debated topic with homosexual couples being discriminated against by many. The community must take pride in its inhabitants such as Will who selfishly defend those who cannot defend themselves. A hero indeed."
Oh. My. God.
Will jumped in to stop the attack of two teenagers, called the police and an ambulance and got the shit beaten out of him by three guys.
And he didn't even tell me.
Guilt flooded me as I realise that means I must have really pissed him off. He is such a twat though, even when we're fighting like now he should still have known to call me about something like this.
I have to go and see him.
After the initial shock of him being hurt is over with all the other details I had read sunk in. Like the time and date of the attack. I had that very same date burned into my mind right now – the date I broke up with Ash. Will would have finished work about 6 and I probably rung him from 7 onwards, finally getting him at about 8. So, was the two hours in-between enough time for him to find the attack, jump in, wait for the police and ambulance, arrive at the hospital, get checked out and then find and answer all of my missed calls?
Oh shit. No wonder he couldn't fucking talk.
We live about a twenty-minute walk from each other and I instantly head out. I briefly contemplate getting him a present of some sort but soon realise I would have bypass bribery and go straight to grovelling.
I reached his apartment in record time. I had always preferred his place to my own, it was more modern and it was bigger but then again, his training kids in every sport possible at the local and very popular leisure centre paid a lot more then my job working at the nearby dog kennels and cattery. For the first time ever, I actually hesitated at the door. I had a key to his apartment, and he to mine and I would use it if necessary but right now I knew I didn't have that right, I didn't even have the right to let myself in.
So I knock. And I wait.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when he opened the door.
He was tired, that much was clear. Shattered even. His eyes were dark, almost as though he had decided to line them with a thick black marker pen. They were also dark with bruising. You can tell they had faded considerably, but also the fact that they were still strong showed how bad they were at first. His left eye was fully bruised, no longer swollen, but was still a sickly dark and kind of green colour, his right eyebrow had a slight cut on it and both his cheekbones sported bruises and multitudes of colour and his lip was spilt.
I just stood there and stared at him, he must have been in a huge state when he got attacked, and the rest of his body must be the same. Painful and bruised.
Having him stare at me in thinly veiled shock would be the perfect opportunity for me to begin apologising, but I couldn't stop staring so in the end it was him who broke the stunned silence.
"What are you doing here Laura?"
"I'm here to apologise, but first of all I'm going to tell you how fucking stupid you are for not telling me about this!"
"About what?" His voice was thick and gravelly, it was sexy but I knew that it was because he was tired.
"This." I shove the newspaper at him and push my way past him, he sighs.
"Look if that's all you're here for, I think its best if you go."
"No, that isn't all I'm here for, I'm sorry okay."
"Don't be, just please go. You were right anyway."
"I wasn't right about anything. I was a dick. And I'm extra sorry because I should have taken care of you. You look like shit."
"Feel it too. Just forget about it alright." He slowly moves back towards the door and opens it again. For me to leave.
"Please don't kick me out."
"I don't want to argue."
I shut his door and stay on the inside of his apartment.
"Then talk to me. I'm so sorry. I was upset and I jumped to conclusions. I was too narrow-minded and I failed to realise you shouldn't have dropped everything for me no matter what you were doing, I shouldn't have expected that of you. And saying all that shit about you in the past, that was below the belt, I was pissed you weren't there for me but you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of it. Especially now that I know why you weren't there."
"It doesn't matter why. And you were right anyway."
"No I wasn't!"
"Yeah you were, you were wrong in what provoked you to say all that but essentially yeah you were right. I don't deserve you, you're too good for me. And that's why I didn't call you back." He wasn't even looking at me anymore. He won't look me in the eyes because his eyes always give away what he's feeling.
"I never said that." but even as I say that out loud I know it's pointless because that's how I made him feel. "Please, I can't lose your friendship over this. I love you Will, I can't fight anymore." He looks up sharply and his eyes flash. "It's killed me not seeing you these last few days and after I found out you were hurt I couldn't ignore it any longer. I was upset and I was sick of feeling second best, to Ash and then it seemed to you and I thought you were too busy getting off with someone to care. Even if you were I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I'm sorry."
"I'd have been there any other day."
"I know. I'm not going to let you run away. You're stuck with me. So listen to me grovel, accept, you can tell me about what the fuck happened to you and I'll buy you dinner."
He sits down and rolls his eyes, but his comment is quiet and concerned and I know that he's forgiven me.
"Why were you upset?"
"Oh. That doesn't really matter now your story is more important"
"I broke up with ash." This time there is no mistaking the emotion in his eyes. Relief. Happiness. Surprise.
"FUCK! The one time I have ever wanted to jump for joy and I can't. That bastard ruins everything."
"What did he do that was so bad you finally ended it?"
"Got pissed off when I wouldn't shag him that night we went out with you, went out, slept with someone else and then the next night he apologised and got rather annoyed when that didn't earn him any action."
"I'll fucking kill him…" I quirk my eyebrows at him sitting gingerly on the couch and he smirks "Well, maybe in a couple of days anyway…"
He scowls. "Yeah. And lots an lots of bruising. My rib's tender and it kind of hurts to breathe - my eye hurts like a bitch too."
"Is there anything you need picking up? Anything I can do?"
"Stop feeling guilty."
"I'd have offered this the second I knew about it and you know that, I'm just guilty because I have to offer to do this late. Tell me what the fuck happened! I feel like a twelve year old girl in need of gossip."
"Look like one too."
I looked down my shirt staring at my C-cups, "Wow, I developed fast didn't I?"
He smirks and stays silent.
"Dude! I wish I could smack you right now."
"Okay okay fine. You already know though. And it isn't exactly exciting."
"Fine, fine. I was walking back from work, I didn't walk the main road way, I went the quicker back route because I nipped to the shop. You know the little walkway between the back of the shop and the flats next to it?"
"It happened there. I heard shouts. So I stopped behind the wall and listened for a bit, because I wasn't sure what I had heard, and then I heard a mixture of insults and pleading. I chanced a look, saw enough to know what was happening, called an ambulance and the police and once I knew they were going to be on their way, I went down there."
"I didn't think about it! If they'd have had a weapon everything would have gone differently, I was just lucky, but I saw the guys on the floor and I was worried I was already way too late. I can't explain it. I didn't want anyone to call me a hero!" He grumbles and I smirk. "You just…you just do it. I knew that if I could stop them then I should, so I tried. The police got there pretty quick thank fuck so I got a few good punches in but they'd really started in on me by that time, they'd got me on the floor which was how my rib ended up broken."
"What were the guys like?"
"Jake the one with the broken fingers was leaning over his boyfriend Sam who'd passed out, he shouted at me to run and to go before I got hurt but he was too upset to say anything else, plus he could barely move. He'd almost passed out himself when the ambulance had got there. The guys got arrested." Will managed to spit his disgust at the men who had done this and smirk at their capture all at once. It was scary but quite impressive. "We all got carted off in the ambulance, I was a bit of a pain in the ass to be honest, I wanted to know the guys were okay so they kept us all together and checked me out after them…that's when you called."
Will waved the awkwardness away and scowled, "everyone made a huge fuss, blah blah blah, and now I have to take at least week off work."
"That would be what bothers you."
"I got those lads numbers though, gonna take them for a drink or have them over or something soon."
"You're such a softy. Seriously, you were so brave. You were fucking stupid though."
"I didn't think about it!" He sighs. "You should have heard the lecture my mum gave me."
"You should have heard the one mine gave me!" I grinned. "She sends her best."
"Don't worry I'll be seeing her when I'm all better." He winks.
"And on that note I'm no longer paying for food."
"You fucking are." I chuckle and lie down, curling into a ball on his settee and gently resting my head on his legs, we sit like that for a while, both lost in our thoughts until I an feel his body begin to shake with laughter.
"What the fuck is so funny?"
"You shouted at me for trying to prevent an attack."
"Oh God don't say that."
"I know but it makes me sound fucking horrible!"
"I'll stop laughing but only because it hurts."
"I'm going to hell."
"I'll send you there quicker if you don't order that fucking food."
An hour later I was sprawled across Will's floor, pizza in one hand and a glass of coke sadly undiluted by anything alcoholic in the other.
"You need better drinks."
"Shove off. I drank everything. Why do you want to drink anyway?"
"I need something to make me feel less annoyed. Don't worry, I don't wanna get drunk. Well, not off my face anyway."
"Annoyed at what?"
"Me. Ash. Everything."
"Forget that loser. You can not honestly tell me you won't be happier without him."
"I promise I'll listen to you next time."
"You should stay single for a bit," he muttered darkly.
In the week of radio silence I had endured between becoming single and making up with Will, I had been thinking constantly. What had I done to deserve scoring a dickwad like Ash? What had Will done to deserve a shit best friend like me? Why was I so determined to hold onto something that made me feel annoyed, worn out and generally crap? Did Ash have a point when he brought up Will in our last fight? The more the last couple of months of our relationship deteriorated the more I had focused on my best friend and the more I did that, the more I had compared them both the more deep down I had begun to accept the truth – that my boyfriend was a dickhead and I an idiot.
Finished with my pizza I set my drink aside and opt for curling up like a cat deciding that now I had my best friend back I was rightfully allowed to wallow in the success of my latest fan-fucking-tastic relationship.
"I don't think staying single is going to be hard somehow. I'm not going to meet anyone."
"You will. Just hold fire for a bit, Enjoy being single. Take some time to breathe for once."
"Can I take the time to get hammered instead?"
"We can go to the bar when I'm better I don't want some drunken douchebag banging into me."
I was wearing a skirt - something I'm not usually into, whilst not totally devoid of the knowledge that I am a girl I've always just preferred jeans. Tonight however, I was feeling good. Three weeks since the break up, Will was healing nicely enough to feel up to going out - as was I. I wanted to drink and dance and have a great time with Will tonight, though for some reason he looked a little grumpy.
"You look great" he mumbles, annoyance lacing his tone.
"Yeah right back at ya..." Who the hell was I kidding, he always looked good. "Any reason that seems to disgust you so much?"
"I told you. Stay single. I don't want to watch you pick up guys all night."
"I'm not out tonight looking for a relationship – of any kind. Just fun with my best friend who is apparently going to be a downer."
"Well the guys in there wont think that will they?"
"Let them think, they can't touch."
"You bet they can't."
I was feeling excellent since the break up. It really was amazing how mind numbingly stupid I was to have not done this sooner. It was so stupid it made my brain hurt. I just felt…free. No one was fighting with my best friend, no one was pressuring me into anything, no one was attached to my fucking neck.
Although to be fair, Will might as well have been. He had made it his duty to tail me all night. If security weren't so good at our bar he would have probably followed me to the toilet. I know he hated Ash but its like he was secure in knowing him, knowing he was a dickhead and knowing who I was with and where I was going. I think now, he's going into protective mode. Which yes. Is his job as my best friend. But it didn't stop me glaring at him lightly for scolding me when I gave my number to some guy. Some hot guy.
"What? He seemed nice."
"Looked nice you mean."
"Both." I smirk, "You're not the only one who's got it. I'm not going to go out with him anyway."
"Look, you wanna meet a guy and be in a healthy relationship with someone who isn't an egotistical narrow-minded, sex obsessed twat then trust me I'm all for it but you wont find who you're looking for here."
"What do you mean?"
"Because the guys here are the guys like me."
I look at him stunned and quickly do a mental tally of how many drinks he's had…a couple of beers, and a couple of glasses of stronger spirits and mixers…pretty much nothing considering what he can handle.
He must be serious. Shit.
"Will what's wrong with you lately? If I met a guy like you I'd be lucky,"
"Never mind okay don't worry about…" he trails off and a look of disgust fixes itself on his face. I see why as I follow his gaze. Ash was sat a couple of tables away with some slut sat on his knee.
Deep within me something called for revenge and I was stalking over to him a plan instantly formed in my mind before I had even thought anything through.
"Alex! Who the hell is this? You told me you would stop sleeping around!"
Any shock he had initially portrayed turned into anger. But that only encouraged me.
"Ash, who is she, what is she talking about?"
"I don't know, she's probably just hammered. Come on, I'll get you another drink or we can go elsewhere."
"Oh Ash. That's what you're telling girls your name is now huh?" I turn to the girl and work a look of concern onto my face, deliberately avoiding the gaze of my best friend sat in the background who had long since figured out my plan and was grinning like an idiot,
"Look, I'm sorry that he's tricked you too but when I saw him with you I had to say something." I bite my lip, praising my acting efforts – the girl was already eating my words up. "This is embarrassing to say and I'm not implying anything about you, I just wanted to warn you from making the same mistakes…I had a one night stand with him a couple of weeks ago, I don't do it often but I was a bit upset and he was absolutely lovely to me. I met him in this bar actually, it must be his regular haunt or something."
"Babe, don't listen to her!"
"Shut up." She snarled. "I'd add your name but I'm currently unconvinced of what it actually is." Feisty. I like her.
"He gave me an S.T.I okay? I don't do the who one night thing often so please don't think bad of me, but I wont let you make the same mistake."
She looked horrified and I knew I had won. She rushed up and hugged me and threw a disgusted look at Ash before stalking out the bar, and I stalked off back to Will to offer him a celebratory high-five.
"That was fun."
"I'm so proud of you."
"Think you're funny do you?"
Well that didn't take long.
"Sexually transmitted diseases are no laughing matter." I tell him solemnly.
"You're such a fucking bitch. I would say I don't know how I survived two years of your shit though I do know that cheating on you pretty much he entire time helped."
"More than once?" It made me look weak for asking and I knew it was what he wanted but I couldn't help it.
"I cheated so often it made you the other woman."
I had been staring at him so intently I hadn't notice Will make a single move until I heard the crash of his chair fall behind him signalling his quick move in standing up
"I'm going to beat the shit out of you and I'm going to enjoy it."
His declaration wasn't exactly quiet and security were with us straight away
"Is there a problem here?" Stuart asked. We were regulars here, so we knew the staff pretty well – I knew they wouldn't want to kick Will out so I also knew he wouldn't cause them much trouble, they also seemed to dislike Ash anyway – something which I think Will would probably take the credit for.
Ash opened his mouth first. "Yeah, the problem is, he's about 3 seconds away from punching me to death because not only did I get, shag, cheat on and completely use the girl he loves he's too much of a pussy to pick up the pieces."
What the fuck?
"Yes. There is a problem. I think you'd better escort me out before you end up standing at my murder trial."
"You know I don't see why you're so mad she's shit in bed. Especially the first time we did it."
That was it. Will lunged furiously at Ash who was clearly enjoying himself, the bouncers here were as built as you always expect them to be but Will was still giving them a run for their money. Even with his nearly healed ribs. Will was busy trying to tear Ash's dick off, Ash was busy laughing and the bouncers were trying to drag Will away. No-one was looking at me. Rather than choose to slink out the bar as inconspicuously as possible, I stalked up to ash.
And I punched him in the face.
I have never so much as slapped anyone before but the rush from knowing that his bleeding nose was hurting probably more than my throbbing hand made adrenaline curse through my body. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I totally understand why two bouncers were now restraining my best friend, who at my sudden appearance of a backbone, was laughing hysterically,
A hand was laid firmly but not harshly on my arm, "miss, I'm afraid you and your friend will have to leave."
A hint of a smile tugged at the bouncers lips and I smiled to let him know I knew that and that I wasn't about to scream and rage at him for it, "gladly I grinned."
We got buffered outside and finally I got a proper look at Will when he wasn't trying to leap over the table separating himself and ash. He looked horrified.
"Will, are you okay?"
"Fine." He averted his eyes and begun walking in the direction of his apartment.
"Will come on, talk to me." I latch on to his arm and again he still doesn't look at me.
We had been on the verge of some kind of emotional talk before all the shit that ash said, and Jesus had he said some shit. Had he really cheated on me so much, was I really that much of a fucking idiot?
Yes. All the times he had lied to me in the past, I knew for certain that now, he had been telling the truth.
He cheated on me once, quite early in the relationship and I had forgiven him. By the end of it all it became clear he was sorry for only one thing; getting caught.
And all the shit he had said about will? Fuck knows. But it had had some effect on him. It always did.
"Laura? Come on." I looked up and saw Will a good few meters in front of me. I was unaware I had stopped. He was clearly still livid though he visibly thawed as he rushed to me, "are you crying?"
"I -" brushing a hand to my face I dabbed at the wetness I hadn't even felt appear. Apparently I was. "Oh."
I should not be fucking crying over this, over him.
I had bawled my eyes out those first few days, although looking back what seemed to have set me off more than anything was those stupid thoughts I had conjured up about Will not caring. So what the fuck was up with me now?
"I'm going to fucking pummel the shit out of that bastard. Though, you did a good job of it yourself." He was smiling softly, I could tell how proud he was. He had taught me how to punch and fight dirty just in case I ever had too.
I flung myself into his arms and heard his sharp intake in breath. "Fuck. Laura ribs!"
"SHIT! I'm sorry I forgot. What were you thinking letting security and me rough you up again? Fuck I'm sorry."
"It's okay. You know I've been having minimal pain lately. It would have been worth it."
I took his hand and he blinked.
"Lets go back to yours."
The walk back to his was always something I enjoyed. We walked next to the lake and sat on the bench staring at the dark water and the lights on the other side of it.
"Don't listen to what he said. I don't doubt him cheating on you but fuck him. Forget about it, move on, jokes on him anyway since you're gorgeous and always were out of his fucking league anyway."
"What, what about what he said about you?"
He bristled for a second before regaining composure and speaking with a slightly harsher tone, "I don't love you. Well I do, I love you as a friend. More than anyone."
"Oh." I feel strangely disappointed at this.
I stare at the water again on to look to my side and see him sitting painfully straight, back rigid against the bench seat, his face looking up at the cloudy night sky.
"Actually, I'm gonna grow some balls tonight. There's a specific reason I would have hated whoever you were with, so in a way it's good for me he was a knobhead. It would have suck to have actually had to hide the fact I hated someone you was with. He was right."
My heart is pounding, my head spinning and my stomach clenching and I know it has nothing to do with the drinks I had consumed what seems like ages ago
"I've liked you since school."
And he gets up and he stalks away leaving me sat alone in the dark before I have enough sense to go after him.
"Ash was right about me being a pussy too. I never had the sack to tell you. I never thought I was good enough anyway, I especially wasn't back then. But now knowing that even I would have made a better boyfriend than who you ended up with makes it so much worse."
We were at his apartment now and only the way his hands shook slightly when using his keys told me he was nervous.
"You, this is why isn't it? All of this self-hate bullshit I thought you didn't even think anymore that you've been spewing out recently. Jesus. You're perfect."
"Don't humour me. I can take rejection. I have done for the past couple of years."
"Will you're my best friend! You're always there for me, you're funny, you never let me down, you're a better friend to me than I am to you, plus you're fucking gorgeous. I don't care if Ash figured out you liked me and saw you as competition or whatever, the fact that he was threatened shows you something doesn't it? I was a fucking idiot but I never chose him over you. That's probably why I got cheated on the entire damn time." There was a deep fire of realisation in my stomach. I felt desperate. Desperate to see this conversation through, see it to a good end.
"I'm sorry that's not my fault, I -"
"No its not your fault, not in one respect did Ash ever compare to you, he could obviously see it I don't know why you can't."
"Because you chose him."
"I didn't know I had an option."
"Fuck." I pull his face to look at me and he looks scared. I hate it. "I'm sorry I like you. Don't leave me okay? I'll be a better friend when you get a boyfriend who I don't mind losing out too."
"Why are you so settled on me staying single or finding someone else? Why not you?"
He hugs me gently and he whispers in my ear, "I don't want to disappoint you."
"Will I think I'm the disappointment here."
I looked into his eyes and I realised exactly why Ash had constantly played the part of the jealous, raving, maniac boyfriend. If he hung around with the female equivalent of Will all the time I'd have been the same.
Never in our relationship did I slip into letting him come anywhere close to Will.
I had always been attracted to him.
Was I feeling now what perhaps I always had because it had finally been shoved in my face or was I simply making excuses because my heart, head and sex drive were all screaming at me to kiss him?
The painfully beating of my nervous heart was telling me it was probably the former.
And my lips pressed against his were telling me to shut the fuck up so they could concentrate.
He kissed back for half a wonderful second and that was all I needed, all I needed to know for damn certain it had never been like that with ash. How could I spend a two year relationship constantly comparing my boyfriend to my best friend without it meaning something?
"Don't pity me please. As long as you promise its okay I like you and you let me interview your prospective dates before hand well be okay."
This is what I'd been missing these past few weeks. And then again these past couple of years he'd always been there, gorgeous and kind and I had thought, unattainable.
Back then in school I had never doubted him not wanting to be with me. His confidence and his activity with other girls, why wouldn't he go after me when he so clearly could? He had always used it as a way to comfort himself, hide himself and escape and now I was beginning to see from what he was running. From who.
I wasn't going to let him go without a fight.
"Give me a chance. We can wait. I'll show you you're not a rebound, I'll prove that I can be a good girlfriend to you."
I know with absolute certainty that I can be a good girlfriend for him. I had gotten over Ash so quickly, gone from being upset to furious so quickly that I had realised I had given up hope whilst we were still in our relationship anyway, I didn't love him and I can't remember the last time I had felt even remotely close to this when I was with Ash. Will made me feel so happy, safe and warm…
"I can't prove I'll be a good boyfriend."
I crash my mouth onto his for a second time and this time he doesn't pull back, so I don't hold back. He tastes sweet, my fingers are in his hair – shaggy and soft, not stupid and spiked, and from somewhere in his throat I hear him sigh in surrender before opening his mouth and demanding entrance to my own. His hands were trailing my waist, leaving boiling marks behind them on my skin he'd only touched above clothing and when we break off I press my forehead to his and stare into his eyes. Willing him to feel how right this was.
"Give me a chance. Give me a chance to make being a complete twat up to you."
"I dunno you were a massive idiot…that's gonna take some convincing…"
"I'm up for the challenge."
He nodded, "Okay. I really like you though…"
"Good. I've realised that's something I was missing in my last relationship. If you continue to like me, I wont break your nose. I like you too okay, and we can take it slow."
"Best stop kissing then. Wait until our first date."
"We've already been on hundreds. Beside what about going to a bar, punching someone in the face, being kicked out and the kissing doesn't spell out first date material to you?"
"Nothing at all. But next time I get to do the punching."
I grin. "Of course you do, you're my hero."