Title: Knik The Knight's Quest of Heroic Proportions
Author: Anoi and Nadia
Rating: T for silliness, violence at times and potty-mouth :D
Summary: The heroic knight Knik stumbles onwards in his quest of questi-ness, meeting all manner of bizarre creatures along the way. Definitely a crack!fic.
Authors Note: Evidence of the insanity that strikes those who cannot communicate with friends face-to-face. Please read at own risk ;D

Chapter Nine

...into the maw of a gigantic spider! The creatures mandibles clacked menacingly, small droplets of liquid (poison? saliva? Knik wondered absently) being disturbed from the gleaming tips.

As Knik stared on in horror and shock the giant arachnid descended closer on a long spindly thread, tiny spheres of water catching the last remaining light on the silk, making it sparkle and shimmer.

From the spider came deep rumbling, rough noise, almost a cough and Knik cringed away, unable to run as, to his horror, while he has concentrated on the surrounding pelt and clearing he had missed the translucent strands of web he had stumbled into. The webbing was thick and sticky, unlike the delicate that the monstrous hairy body above him was suspended on, and was refusing to let him move.

The spider loomed over him, and the mandibles gaped open. Knik cringed away, knowing his doom was facing him, and heard, 'I say old chap, you appear to have made a right mess of my web. Really now, I worked on that for quite a while, you know!'

Knik peered though his fingers at the beast now before him. On closer inspection he appear to wearing a red velvet waistcoat with small purple spiders embroidered onto it, and a golden mon- no, quadicle over the four left eyes. All in all, he appeared quite well dressed for a terrifying beast of darkness.

'You know, webs like these are not easy to make chap. I spent most of yesterday decorating the clearing, laying the webs and whatnot just right for today's show, you know. It's really most inconvenient of you, going about, smashing up all the decor. Most uncouth, really!'

Knik swallowed, then answered, 'Ah, my apologies sir, I was unaware that the clearing was in use. I was mearly passing by!'

'Not know that the clearing was in use, whatwhat! Chap, this is the foremost fashion event of the fall, you know! All the dark creatures of the forests come from far and wide to see the work of us Spinners chaps! Its a really bally-well big thing you know! A must see if you're keeping up with the trends and all!' The spider looked quite disgruntled, and was shifting restlessly from side to side. His movements made some of the draped skins on the branches part, and then fall, enough to see a small crowd of other spiders, all dressing or dresses in elegant whites, peaches, burgundies and rusts, and embroidered to bursting with flowers, animals and, in one case, humans.

Knik had stumbled across the backstage entrance.

As some of the spiders noticed the gap in the curtain they began to shriek, and those still partly dressed move to hide behind their fellows. They all scrambled away from the gap, screaming that, 'Eeeeek! Someone can seeeee us!'

As the first spider turned to see what the commotion was about Knik pulled his sword free and used it to hack free of the sticky web at his feet. He gathered any belongings he had dropped in his initial panic and darted from the clearing, straight into the arms of...