I don't want to live like this:
feeling nothing, doesn't matter,
am I even breathing?
Break through layers of skin
and bone, to get to what matters:
I have to feel my heart beating.
I could put on my shield and a helmet of steel,
fight through monsters of self-doubt and fear
and maybe affect change.
But the truth is, I'm so tired of trying and failing
and smiling; Pretense has the weight of the world
but reality doesn't exist.
I would give the world for someone
to explain; 'do this, do that, and it means this and that',
if only to know that I should keep going.
Of course, it can't be that simple;
Purpose is forged in the heat of passion and hope.
Begs the question, is there a purpose to surrender?
I wonder if giving up could mean the strength to go on.