A really random drabble I thought of.
Do you know that life isn't all about monkeys and rainbows? Sad things happen too, which pretty much sums up just how much my life is messed up right now. And no, I'm not okay, no thanks for asking. First of all, I overslept – again – and all those hours I'd been meaning to spend on more productive things – gone. Second of all, we ran out of milk (and cereal without cold milk will certainly not do!) Why do you bother asking, anyway, when you already know the answer?
Do you know what else is messed up? You. Yes, you. See, one day, you're hot, and the next day you're cold – you're a constantly fluctuating thermostat! And it takes just about all of my willpower not to just march up to you and slap some sense into that overgrown head of yours. It doesn't help that you're way taller than me, or that I'll probably end up straining a muscle trying to reach that smug face of yours. And you thought girls were impossible.
Do you know who you remind me of? My father. You're just as stubborn as he is, if not more or less. You both will stop at nothing to get what you want, and sometimes, the impulsiveness of it all is enough to make me want to rip my hair out. But I don't because number one, shampoo is expensive, and number two, well, I just really can't rock a bald look. Boy cut maybe, but that's not the point!
Do you know what else is pointless? This stupid letter. I'm making absolutely no progress in trying to convey my feelings here, and mind you, these are very frustrated, non-platonic feelings that I feel for you. I mean, I've never had to stay up at night like this before, staring blankly at the ceiling for hours on end, feeling completely confused whenever your face pops into my head. Sometimes, I wish I never knew you. Then I wouldn't have to feel the way I do right now. But it was bound to happen sooner or later (although I very much would have liked the latter).
Do you know what else I wish for? I wish that someday, I'd be able to think about other people without having to feel guilty about leaving you in the dark. Because you know what hurts more?
What hurts more is that after this… whatever this thing that we have is, you'll never ask me what's wrong anymore, or drive me crazy with your hot and cold tendencies, or act like my father, or do all those annoying things that you do. Because, well, I've gotten used to all of your crazy antics, and not having you around would make my day… incomplete.
Yeah. That's how life would feel without you. Incomplete.
p.s. I kinda-sorta-maybe love you too.