Knock. Knock. Knock.

Remy looked up at the sound for a moment, waited for it to stop, and then returned to work under the assumption that if she ignored whoever was knocking, they would simply go away.

Knock knock knock.

The knocking was louder, more persistent and accompanied by a voice. Remy looked away from her essay on religious intolerance with annoyance.

"Remy, I know for a fact you're in there! Don't pretend you can't hear me!" the voice echoed from the hallway outside. Remy pretended she couldn't hear Anya.

"Fine, we'll see how you like my rendition of Like A Virgin, both sung and knocked very very loudly," Anya persisted. Remy shuddered but sat still, calling Anya's bluff so to speak.

That is, until the horrid singing began and Remy clambered from her bed in a hurry to make it stop.

"Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time! Like a virgin, when your heart beats next to-" Anya sang out of tune, beating on the door passionately. Remy yanked the door open suddenly to stop her, peeking her head out of the open door with a suspicious glare.

"What? What do you want? If I give you a cracker, will you go away?" Remy asked rudely. Anya looked taken aback by her tone of voice, and pushed hard on the door to let herself into Remy's dorm room.

"I object, I am not a parrot, and you can't bribe me with crackers. I'm just checking in with you. We haven't talked in a while," Anya responded, clearly pleased with herself. She strutted by Remy and took a seat at the foot of her bed. Remy watched with her nose wrinkled in distaste, hoping Anya didn't mean anything by emphasizing her words. She also hoped the smell of Anya's stifling perfume would wash out of her comforter.

"What do you mean we haven't talked? We're not friends Anya, you're just the assistant RA. If you need to check my room, fine. Otherwise, it would help me out a lot if you could just leave," Remy said, highly unimpressed with both Anya's glare of annoyance and her assistant position of power.

"Fine, just let me say what I came here to say."

Anya paused, waiting for Remy to respond somehow. Instead, Remy gave her a blank look, making Anya slightly nervous.

"As assistant RA, I feel it is my duty to inform you that tonight, the girl's are having a little get together while Kelly is out of town. I just wanted to be sure you know that I authorized it, and also know that you were invited to join us. However, if this is how you'd like to spend your night instead," she gestured around her to my room and the books on the wall, "then fine. It's your choice."

"Great, whatever. If you're worried I'll tattle on you and 'the girls', don't worry. College parties are extremely overrated. Just an excuse for orgies and date rape and underage drinking," Remy quipped in response.

Anya's eye twitched, and Remy could tell she was just dying to come back with a retort about how the party would be tasteful and fun. Remy was willing to bet Anya would be one of the first party casualties, either wasted or laid or both.

"Well," Anya hesitated looking for something pleasant to say. She failed to come up with anything and instead became irritated by Remy's cool composure. "Fine, you know what? Fine! Why do we even bother?"

"Oh, boo hoo Anya, like I'm your pet project, ruined by disillusionment. Close the door on your way out, I don't want any drunks at your party to get the wrong idea and come into my room looking for a 'good time'," Remy said coldly, indifferent to Anya's miniature tantrum as she stomped her way from the room.

Pausing in the doorway with one last angry look, she pointed her manicured finger straight at Remy who looked bored.

"You insufferable cow!" she exclaimed and then slammed the door. Remy laughed under her breath, returning to work.

"Sure, if it makes you feel better, slam the door, insult your charges, and by all means, get the last word in if it makes you feel like you still have a shred of self-worth left," Remy said, for the most part talking to herself after Anya left the room. Then she returned to work on her essay.

Nathan woke around 3 o'clock in the afternoon to the sound of a car speeding into the driveway outside. He heard a car door slam closed, followed by the sound of it locking with two short chirps and loud knocking at the front door downstairs.

With a groan, he flipped his covers back and slipped on a pair of mostly clean boxers. The pounding on the door continued without break until he finally answered. He narrowed his eyes against the afternoon light, scratching his groin unceremoniously and absentmindedly.

Kristos took one look at his best friend and rolled his eyes.

"Dude, really? You look like a Neanderthal and frankly, your breath smells like rotten milk," Kristos greeted, pushing his way in past Nathan with a look of disbelief. Nathan looked confused for a moment and closed the door.

"Kris, as much as I love and cherish our friendship-"

"Gay," Kris interjected, already making his way into the house.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nathan asked, forced to follow Kris into the kitchen to make sure he didn't break anything. Kris went straight to the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice.

"Is this from concentrate?" he asked Nathan, completely ignoring Nathan's question as though he hadn't said anything.

"Does it matter? You're going to drink it anyways," Nathan grumbled, taking a seat at the bar to watch while Kris pillaged his family's food supplies. Kris smiled at Nathan's comment and then shrugged, grabbing a glass and filling it to the edge.

"You better not spill that," Nathan warned, in a foul mood now that he recognized he'd been woken up for nothing.

"Oh shush you big baby. It's three in the afternoon and I find you still asleep in bed, smelling like yesterday's garbage. You should thank me for stopping you from becoming a professional hobo," Kristos replies, taking a large gulp of orange juice. Nathan frowns.

"Why exactly are you my friend again Kris?" Nathan asks rhetorically, wishing he could revisit his dreams from the night before. While the dream wasn't exactly fresh in his memory, he could still recall at least three beautiful women calling his name out. Nathan was pretty sure the last time three beautiful women had cried his name out had been at his first birthday party, when he was still a cute, innocent baby in diapers.

"I'm not just your friend, I'm you're best friend. Simply put, without me, you would be a boring, studious, naive little college sophomore with nothing to do on school nights but snuggle up to your textbooks," Kris responded. He swirled the orange juice in his glass around idly, almost thoughtfully.

While Nathan couldn't argue with Kris on that, he found himself wondering why he chose to remain not only privy to, but a part of Kris' antics. Most of the time, he ended up in trouble and Kris, by some miracle or another, got off the hook.

"What's your point?" Nathan asked, becoming sidetracked by his increasing mental capacity as he became more alert. Compiling a mental checklist, Nate knew at some point he'd have to take a shower, study for a quarter-term test in his sociology class, and write a three page paper on the difference between Sappho's love poetry and Petrarch's sonnets.

"My point is, we're going out tonight," Kris said, before finishing off his glass of orange juice. Nathan frowned again.

"Again? But it's Thursday. Don't you have class tomorrow? Or ever?" Nathan asked, and Kris shrugged.

"I do what I need to in order to pass," he responded ambiguously. Nathan was sure whatever he had to do in order to pass burned some kind of hole in his wallet. Considering Kristos' wallet was near bottomless however, Nate doubted he cared very much.

"Well, regardless. I'm no big fan of bribery or blackmail, I've heard it's illegal in some states, so I choose to study and actually work for my grades," Nathan told Kris with a hint of sarcasm. Kris smiled devilishly.

"I don't think so. You're coming out with me tonight. There's a party in one of the girl's dorms on campus, and do you know what that means?" Kris asked Nathan, clearly excited with a distinct gleam in his eye. Nathan didn't like the look and his stomach twitched with nerves, hoping for once Kris wouldn't be stubborn about getting his way.

"Well, for one thing it means the RA isn't doing her job right," Nathan responded. Kris laughed heartily.

"Which is all the more better for us, we'll be surround by hot, drunk, and willing women," Kris expanded. Nathan rolled his eyes.

"More better?" Nathan cringed at his friend's grammar, "And besides, does drunk constitute willing and vice versa? Because I'm pretty sure the court system would beg to differ."

"Dude, seriously? Get that stick out of your ass so we can go out and have a good time. What happened to the old Nathan? You used to be so into the party scene," Kris replied somewhat nostalgically.

Thinking about it for a moment, Nathan found that Kris was right once again, something shocking considering his track record in the past. From the time Nathan met Kris in eleventh grade, up to the point now in his second year at Rachwal University, Nathan had a bad habit of keeping up with Kris and partying just as much as him.

"Fine, I give in. I'll go. But you have to promise after this, we'll do school work on the weekdays and party on the weekends," Nathan responded. Kris nodded, and grinned wickedly at Nathan.

"I'm glad this isn't a binding contract. All work and no play makes you and I boring."

"Boring indeed," Nathan agreed, thinking about the essay he'd have to write later, much later.

"C'mon then Nate, go take a shower and fix yourself up. We've got two hours before the party officially starts and three hours before we need to be there," Kris prompted him, pulling him from his seat at the bar.

"So you decided to come early?" Nathan asked, somewhat confused as he stretched his limbs and began making his way from the kitchen. Kris shrugged again.

"I was bored. I figured this would be better than doing school work or studying. Have you ever noticed how quiet the library is? It's like a cemetery," Kris told him off hand. Nathan recalled a time in high school when they were kicked out of three different libraries in one day, and shook his head with a hidden smile.

"Of course, because school work and studying are optional, but partying is mandatory," Nathan mused, walking upstairs.

"Why else would I be in college?" Kris responded truthfully. Once again, Nathan found him shaking his head.

"What will you do while I'm upstairs?" Nathan asked suddenly, suspicious of his friend. How could he trust him to behave without supervision?

"I'll just watch some TV, you don't have to worry about me," Kris said in perhaps the most worrying tone Nathan had heard from him all afternoon.

"No porn, you hear me? I still live with my parents you know," Nathan shouted from the top of the stairs at Kristos' retreating back.

He laughed but didn't respond. Nathan hoped whatever Kris had in mind, it wouldn't get him in trouble with his parents. There were only so many times they could yell and scream about disowning him before they actually did it.

If Nathan were disowned over porn, he would never ever forgive Kristos.

Nathan took the fastest shower of his life. A quick scrub here, some shaving cream there, and a bit of cologne to top it all off. Nathan hadn't even put his shirt on as he rushed down the stairs and into the living room.

Kristos looked back over shoulder curiously, his brow quirked inquisitively.

"Why hello handsome. That's an interesting choice of clothing, or rather, lack thereof," Kristos commented, laughing. Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, I just had to be sure you weren't destroying anything down here. Have I ever told you how much you remind me of a puppy?" Nathan said, taking a seat on the couch, still shirtless.

"Because I'm adorable?" Kristos asked, batting his eyes in a flirtatious way.

"No, because you need a chew toy to keep you out of trouble," Nathan responded. Kris laughed again, and then flipped the channel to some kind of animal documentary. At that particular moment, the screen showed two hyenas mating. Nathan looked at Kris with disbelief.

"What the hell are you watching? Animal porn?" Nathan asked while Kris doubled over with laughter.

"Honest to God, I had no idea that would be on," Kris replied in between bouts of laughter.

"Well, change it then," Nathan said, decidedly looking away from the screen.

"What, you don't like it?"

"No, I don't! Now, indulge me for once and change the channel."

"Fine," Kris said with a sigh, sounding dejected. Nathan rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to go put a shirt on and bring my laptop down here. You may be fine slacking off, but I have work to do and you're not making my life any easier."

"Well, you could just watch TV with me until the party," Kris suggested.

"I could just be perverted and useless like you, but I'm afraid I don't have the allowance for it," Nathan responded. Kris guffawed.

"Somebody's moody," Kris said just loud enough for Nathan to hear as he headed back upstairs. Nate was tempted to throw something at his head.

When the party started, Remy could feel the bass vibrating through the floorboards. Still writing her religious intolerance essay, she rolled her eyes, but stayed seated on her bed. She was tempted to contact Kelly with an anonymous tip, but of 22 girls living on the floor, she'd be easily pinpointed as the culprit because all 21 other girls were gung ho for parties and general college idiocy.

About an hour after the party started, and twenty minutes after Remy had finally finished her essay, Remy heard light tapping on her door. Waiting for it to stop, Remy attempted to ignore the sound.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Unlike Anya's knocking earlier, the sound seemed light, perhaps unintentional. Once Remy put her ear to the door, she could a metallic kind of reverberation. The tapping didn't follow the beat of the music outside, instead it seemed to speed and slow independently of any kind of pattern.

Finally, after five minutes suffering through the tapping, Anya yanked open her door.

"Oh, God, eww," Remy exclaimed at the sight before. Her door gave way to the weight of two people once it opened, forcing Remy back as Anya and a tall blond man fell into her room, a tangle of limbs and drunk revelry.

"Remy," Anya giggled, obviously intoxicated, "what are you doing here?"

The man, who didn't appear to intoxicated, looked up at Remy with minor annoyance. His hand was still under Anya's mini dress, hand squeezing her bum. Remy wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Anya, I do believe your ass was quite literally tapping against my door," Remy stated. The comment seemed to alert Anya to the fact she was pinned to the floor by her chosen partner for the night. She laughed and squirmed, failing to get on her feet without help.

"Shh!" she exclaimed to Remy as her blond partner finally pulled her up. He winked at her over Anya's shoulder and Remy glared. The man was clearly taking advantage of Anya's drunken state, but Anya didn't seem to mind.

"Get a room!" she shouted after the couple, revolted and annoyed. She watched for a moment as Anya and the man walked down the hall, to an open door at the end. Remy saw the man pinch her ass one more time, causing Anya to squeal in delight and the man to chuckle darkly. Remy shuddered and slammed her door closed.

Ten minutes later, more knocking sounded on Remy's door. Before she could answer it however, the door opened. Remy frowned and got up to see who exactly was there.

Before she could see who it was, she heard a deep breath and then a sigh.

"Hello?" she asked, peeking around the corner of her L-shaped room to find a stranger pushing one of the other dorm inhabitants up against the wall, kissing her neck. The girl, nicknamed Bunny, moaned in response.

Remy, momentarily confused by why her door was unlocked, practically charged up to the ignorant couple, grabbing a fistful of the man's shirt and yanking him back off of Bunny.

"What?" he asked, confused. He looked over at Remy confused, and then smiled at her. His green eyes were slightly out of focus and glazed by alcohol. Remy looked back at him with a sneer of disgust.

"Get out of my room," Remy said, shaking the man as best she could with each word like he was a naughty puppy. He continued to smile and his eyes fixated on her lips, not so much focusing on what she was saying, but how her lips formed the words so sensually.

Bunny on the other hand recognized Remy's tone of voice and scurried from the room, sober enough to stumble away. Remy still hadn't let go of the man however, and his hands began to wander.

One hand eased her grip from his shirt while the other snaked it's way to her waist. Remy gasped and fought against it, pushing against his chest to force him away.

"Just a kiss," he murmured, his face coming closer to hers, breath heavily scented with beer. Remy leaned as far away from him as she could but apparently couldn't get as far as she needed to. His lips met hers softly, a light pleasant sensation.

Remy didn't stop beating her hands against his chest and though he moved his lips against hers, she didn't respond, instead trying to yell. His hand moved to pull lightly at her hair and as he tried to induce a more passionate embrace, Remy shoved with both her hands and kicked against him with her right leg. He promptly fell back, into the hall, groaning in pain but smiling up at her.

"Beautiful," he told her from the floor, but she slammed the door in his face, and then leaned back against the wood with a series of deep, calming breaths. Making sure to lock the door once and for all, Remy resolved to sleep off the incident and blackmail Anya the next day.

The next morning, when all was quiet but before the panties and empty cans were be cleaned from the dorm hall, Remy called Lily from her bed.

"Hello?" Lily answered, unusually awake and alert for a college student at eight in the morning.

"Hey, where are you?" Remy asked.

"Walking around the neighborhood. I'm trying to get Roscoe in shape before the holidays," Lily responded, referring to her overweight Beagle who was so fat, it didn't walk so much as waddle.

"Great, then you have time to talk?" Remy asked, stretching her feet idly under the covers.

"Yeah, I'm all ears. Did something happen?" Lily asked curiously. On the other end of the line, Remy heard a car pass by, followed by Roscoe's small bark.

"Kind of. I think you'll find it funny, but the girl's threw a party yesterday while Kelly is out of town for her sister's wedding. Of course, I had to finish off the last ten pages of my religious intolerance paper for Morass's class, so I was in my room pretty much the whole time. Anya tried to bribe me with the invitation to join them, but that failed miserably so she called me an insufferable cow," Remy relayed to Lily.

"Wow, great come back," Lily responded with a snort, clearly entertained like Remy thought she would be.

"Anyways, it turns out later Anya's ass was literally tapping against my door when she was making out with this guy, so when I opened the door, they tumbled into my room. She was drunk off her ass and he was grabbing her ass," Remy continued.

"Her ass must have been seeing a lot of action last night," Lily joked wryly, causing Remy to laugh shortly.

"I guess so. I kicked them both out of my room, only to have some other guy come in my room, making out with Bunny. I yelled at them to leave, but the guy was so drunk, he kissed me instead. It was disgusting, his breath was foul."

"Maybe he's attracted to angry chicks?" Lily reflected.

"I doubt it, but if that's his MO, then he should go pick up dates at anger management classes," Remy replied.

"Was that your whole Thursday night?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, unfortunately. It was pretty crappy if you ask me," Remy replied.

"Well, you could have taken advantage of the drunk guy and had your wicked way with him. After all, guys do that to drunk women all the time."

"Somehow, I doubt that would have the same satisfying effect as slamming my door in his face. Plus, I'd have to risk him puking in my room after," Remy reasoned.

"Very true. I hate it when that happens," Lily agreed. Remy quirked a brow.

"You hate it when guys puke in your room?" she asked, now curious.

"Oh, no, I hate it when I set my expectations to high on a one night stand, though that kind of ties into the whole puking thing," Lily responded, causing them both to laugh.

"Alright, well, I'm off to breakfast. I'll see you later tonight," Remy informed Lily, throwing her covers back and wiggling her toes in the cool morning air.

"So we're still on for tonight? I half expected you to skip out after the fiasco you just informed me of."

"Nah, I think I can handle it. After all, I still have a little faith left in humanity," Remy replied to Lily's surprise. Lily laughed.

"Oh, good. I thought you sold that a long time ago," she joked. They said goodbye and then Remy started to get ready for her afternoon criminology class, the only class she had on Fridays.

When Kristos woke up, he found himself draped artfully beneath bright pink sheets, his right hand caught beneath a warm, pale, feminine body. The girl, slim, petite and blond, slept peacefully beside Kristos. Her naked form was extremely attractive, even the morning after. Kristos absentmindedly wondered what her name was or if he even asked the night before.

Drawing lightly across the smooth plane of her back, he slowly began to wake up. Studying the sizable room around him, Kris would have to guess this was the RA's room, leading him to believe he'd slept with the RA. He grinned ruefully at the from beside him, happy to have slept with the girl responsible for the dorm party.

Like Nathan had said before, the girl was a terrible RA but if Kris' sore muscles meant anything, she must have been incredible in bed. Sweeping lightly over her bum for one last goose, Kris stood and attempted to dress. Finding all of his clothing except for his socks, he began to search for Nathan.

Wandering outside the RA's room as quietly as possible, Kris found Nathan laying in the carpeted hallway outside, knocked out and fully clothed.

"Well, that was easy," he said to himself, nudging Nate awake with his foot. With a groan, Nathan awoke to back pain and Kris' stupid little grin.

"Where am I?" he asked, even as he began to remember how he ended on the floor.

"On the floor," Kris responded. Nathan sat up, glared at Kris and cracked his back.

"No shit Sherlock," he responded, standing.

"Well then, why did you ask?" Kris asked, trying to badger his best friend.

"I don't normally wake up on the floor," Nathan responded, looking about the messy hallway before following Kris away from the scene of the crime. He stumbled over a half empty bottle of tequila.

"On the other, you never seem to wake up in a woman's bed either," Kris commented, grinning at his joke. Nathan frowned as they began to ascend down the stairs.

"Shut up. Just because I'm not some kind of pervert like you-"

"It's a talent really," Kris interrupted, still grinning.

"Does not mean I don't get laid or that I fail to attract women."

"I beg to differ," Kris said under his breath.

"What was that?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing," Kris said innocently, whistling as they made their way from the building. Nathan sighed and rubbed at his temples. He was beginning to think the urge to throw something at Kris's head was a regular thing.

AN: This is kind of a new story, I changed up the original idea I posted two weeks ago. Anyways, if you'd like to know more about it, visit my profile. I'd really appreciate reviews, especially about the characters, dialogue, or even the humor. Did you find it funny?

Thanks for reading!