Nothing in life is simple. That is what I was thinking as I climbed down the chimney like that oh-so-popular fat guy with the beard and flying deer. But unlike him, I was sure I wasn't wanted.

"You have to leave now." A deep yet frilly voice muttered sternly.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. I promise." Another male voice said.

I cursed silently. I had to kill more people than I had previously determined. That was never a good thing. It brought about unnecessary suspicion in everyone involved. I bravely pressed on, regardless. I turned around so that my head dangled just above the fireplace. That move was uncomfortable even for someone as limber as I am and it probably wasn't the best place to hide seeing as if they suddenly decided that it was too cold I would be baked….Literally. I could only hope that they wouldn't.

"But what if something does? I can't-"

I missed the rest of that sentence as I peeked and saw that the voices were being echoed from another room in the tiny house. I lowered myself a little bit more to clear the fortunately cool coals. I lowered myself more, unlocking my harness with one hand, thankful for my-literally-spiked shoes. I moved forward, stealthily, letting my legs slide from in the chimney. I decided then and there that if I was ever fired from The Disservice, I would become an acrobat. I might as well seeing as I bent myself in ways that not even a slinky could.

"Brother, I will not leave you." I repeated the word soundlessly. I knew no one in the world-where I had been at least-that would speak in such a way. I continued to be puzzled as I slid across the floor.

I stood and wiped my custom Kevlar shirt off as well as my shorts. I know it makes no sense that I came with intent to kill and am wearing shorts. But, in my defense, I had been on a date in Tijuana just six hours earlier and hadn't had time to change into something more intimidating than this. I walked to the door leading to where the voices seemed to originate. I slowly pulled my gun from its holster, double checking my silencer. It was on.

"Fine. But I cannot protect you from anything that occurs." The voices silenced as I got closer and were replaced by another noise that I couldn't decipher. I slowly moved to the cracked door and peered into the room. What I saw disgusted me. A wrinkly old man with a stretched out and abused tattoo of Zorro was naked atop a man who looked no older than Justin Bieber.

I walked in, uncaring whether I was silent or not. They pulled apart and stared at me. I grimaced at the sight of their bruised lips. Gay people were no problem, but the fact that these two were around seventy years apart was…..disturbing. I did a double take at the older male.