8REPORTER (Q): Regarding the recent scandal you've been a part of, do you take responsibility for it?
MAYA (A): Okay, it was my fault, but not completely. I mean you have to understand I am who I am, and I am someone who is horrible at saying the word no. Such a simple word, really. No. It's just two letters. I just don't know how to vocalize it. Sorry, you have no idea where I'm going with this, so I'll just start from the beginning. My name is Maya Weathers, and I'm a senior in a run down high school in a small town that's going nowhere fast. Last summer, I started dating a huge celebrity, Victor Moreno, maybe you've heard of him? No?
(Q): Yes, I've heard of him…how did you two meet?
(A): Anyway, he was a performer at a charity concert held in our town and I had volunteered to help clean up after it was all over with, and we got to talking. We really had a connection, not one of those love at first sight things, but there was undeniable chemistry. I found out we like the same kind of music, and neither of us can stand anything too sweet, though he does like chocolate. He has this way with words that had me hanging on to his every syllable, and his eyes hold such a sparkle, such life. I remember, he winked at me, and I nearly melted! I mean, Victor Moreno, the Victor Moreno was talking to me! Not only that, but when I responded to what he was saying, he listened like he cared, like it mattered to him. It was a first for me. Nobody in my town ever tried to really get to know me.
(Q): Sounds like things went going well for you…
(A): Yeah! I left that night with his number, and this ecstatic feeling my world was going to get a whole lot brighter. It took me three days to get up the courage to call him after our encounter, and my hands were shaking as I dialed the numbers, but I did, and the best part? He answered, and not just on the third ring, or even the second ring. The first ring, like he'd been waiting for me to call, expecting it, hoping for it.
(Q): Maybe he had been…anyway, what happened afterward?
(A): This is probably my silly teenage girl brain going delusional, but I am telling you, everything was perfect between us. Perfect. The nights I stayed up until midnight talking to Victor after his concerts were the happiest times of my life, and I don't even remember what we talked about anymore. Something about his hatred of grilled cheese to which I promptly said no, grilled cheese is the best thing ever, which resulted in a 'would you rather eat…' game that he won, but only because….oh, sorry, that's kind of pointless ramble. The point is, he was the first person I really connected with, that I truly felt something for. So how could I know Victor Moreno would be the beginning of this huge scandal I've become a victim of?
(Q): Yes, yes, regarding the scandal, do you blame him at all for it?
(A): Yes and no. In his defense, he's a good guy, he just missed me that's all, I mean its not like him being a celebrity and me trying to graduate high school unscathed by the paparazzi constantly trying to interrogate the small-town-nobody-dating-big-time-star left us much time to really talk. And as I said earlier, I honestly do only have myself to blame, because I was the one who made the choice in the first place. Stupid me, not being able to say no. I don't know who I get it from, because my mom is cold-hearted lawyer who can't be swayed by the most pitiful puppy-dog face and my when you ask my dad for a favor the glare you'll get in return could kill. Ugh, I'm rambling again, you have to stop me when I do that, okay? Okay, I'll just get straight to it then.
(Q): We'd all very much like to hear it.
How it all started…
"Maya, I really miss you hon," Victor said batting his brown innocent eyes as we talked on skype, me through my bright pink laptop I'd received as a birthday gift last month from my mom, him through the latest 4G phone that he also received as a gift for his last birthday - from himself. Well, he was a celebrity after all.
"I miss you more." I said with a big cheesy grin (luckily Victor found this smile adorable). I sat up on my bed making sure not to move around too much so I didn't knock out my ear buds and grabbed Lucky, the purple unicorn Victor got me for my birthday (for some reason he thought I'd like a stuffed unicorn, don't ask, I don't know either..).
"How much do you miss me?" He persisted, which caused me to raise my eyebrows in confusion. This wasn't how our unspoken game of "miss you more" went.
"Lots." I said, fumbling for the right word. "Like pepper misses salt when they're apart."
"So, then - would you do me a favor?" He asked softly, so softly I barely heard it through my ear buds, which made me lean into the computer like thinking that would help, like an idiot.
"Yeah, what is it?" I smiled, wondering what it could be to have him behaving so shyly.
"I want a picture of you…" He started, with a slight blush.
"Just look through my facebook pictures."
"Um…not exactly one of those pictures…"
My eyebrows were almost touching at this point, so pinched together with confusion they were. "I'm not following."
"I want a dirty picture of you." He muttered, more calmly than before, having pulled himself together. Meanwhile I was flabbergasted (does anyone even use this word anymore, really?), and my jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
No! no, no, no!I should have just screamed this out at this point, but I didn't. I really was not capable of it. That didn't mean I was just going to agree though.
"I'm really….not comfortable with that," I admitted, blushing. I was a virgin at the age of eighteen, and this was something I was proud of, but my lack of experience with guys left me - well, innocent, and innocent people just didn't take dirty pictures for their long distance boyfriend. What's more, Victor knew this about me, we'd discussed it previously. He knew how I felt about these things, and he hadn't been bad about pressuring me with it, at least not until now. So, you could imagine my surprise and confusion and embarrassment. Oh yes, I was blushing crimson.
"Come on, Maya," Victor scolded, a sour tone underlying his words, "we barely see each other, I'm a guy, I have needs, you know?"
I covered up my ears, which did nothing since I had ear buds in and could hear everything anyway.
"Ew, ew, ew, that's disgusting!" I cried.
"Just a topless shot…" He pleaded.
"That's just…I don't think I can do that…" His pleading was getting to me though. Oh god, I started to panic. I knew right at that moment how this was going to end, and that filled me with a cold dread.
"You love me don't you?" He asked, his eyes full of his Vince Moreno charm.
"Victor…" I was now pleading with him, knowing it would be hard to resist his pressure, hoping he'd catch on to my silent plead to drop it. No such luck.
"You're getting boring to me, Maya. We can't act like normal couples because of my hectic schedule, and I'm asking you for a perfectly valid favor."
His words stung. I was boring? The favor was perfectly valid?
I had thought everything was fine between us. He called every night, and we talked like always - okay, so our relationship was a bit routine, but the circumstances of our individual lives didn't exactly allow either of us to act impulsively and fly out to meet the other. He was constantly on the move and I had school work. Still, I thought everything was stable. I definitely hadn't noticed he wasn't happy anymore with the - um - low level of sexual experience I brought to the table. The most we'd done is make out.
I mean honestly - I did love Victor. He was sweet, charming, and he really knew how to make me feel better when I was having a blah day. If he was near me more often, I probably wouldn't be holding my v-card anymore. So with all this considered, it did seem normal for the guy I loved that I would do something like this.
"Okay." I said hesitantly. "But you…can't watch, okay? I'll take the picture and e-mail it to you later tonight."
Victor lit up at my decision. "I love you, Maya!"
I shut off my computer that night confused. He loved me? Just moments earlier he'd said he was becoming bored with me. I couldn't exactly tell you at that moment what was causing me more anxiety - the fact that I was going to go through with the risqué request, or that fact that if I didn't, I would probably lose the only friend I had. Yeah, I know you're probably thinking, 'what the hell, a friend wouldn't ask for something you were so clearly uncomfortable with!' It didn't matter to me at that point, because Victor was someone that no matter what I didn't want to lose. At that point in time, he was the only person who actually offered me a feeling of warmth.
I still should have said no.
Taking that picture was the most degrading and embarrassing moment of my life. I felt sick to my stomach the entire time, sick with vulnerability, sick with the inevitable regret awaiting me, and when it was all over with and I'd e-mailed it to him, I laid on my bed feeling even more sick to my stomach.
I should have said no, because that picture cause me all kinds of hell.