It was about eight at night and Emily and I walk through the door laughing. The stupidity of the movie was the subject of everyone's conversation. Even the boys were saying how cute that little girl was. As we drifted apart into our rooms I became sadder and sadder, for some unknown reason… Emily looked over with a sympathetic look, I think she knew why I was upset. Even if I didn't…
" You know… Well, it's just- "
" Yeah, yeah I know, just a part of pregnancy." She smiled and tossed her hair.
" Well, your catching on quickly." I smiled and got my pajamas out of the drawer. Her stomach was slightly sticking out with each passing day, but only slightly. Her pajama shorts were almost up to her hips and her tank was showing her belly button, I could see her as a super model. Her straight black hair had a mind off its own and her deep green eyes were stunning. The only thing that was really frightening on her was something I had just noticed. On her pale arms were small barely visible scars. She caught my glimpse and turned to her bed.
" Yeah, it's a part of my past I don't like to remember… Back when I was desperate." I looked at my own arms uncovered by long sleeves and saw the deep purple scars. Mine were a lot worse, I don't know what she had to be ashamed of.
" Mine are a lot worse…" I said to no one in particular, just said it.
" That may be, but it's still just- never mind." She pulled back the covers and crawled into her bed.
" Goodnight Alexa." I sigh in my bed and pull the covers to my chin.
" Night Emily." I close my eyes and just lay there, thinking. I hear her shifting every few moments and take a deep breath. What if I was to die, right now? The thoughts came without my permission, just started to consume my inner most being. Who would really care? Not anyone… But that baby would have a screwed up life, just end it. I turned on my side and let the tears pool in my ears as they slid down my cheeks.
A woman sat on the edge of her bed staring at a picture, and crying. " I hope she's safe and happy…" The mumblings of this woman were few and far between but in times of depression she let them come. The cool jungle breeze entered into the room, mocking the cold winter her heart was in. A small girl stood in the corner staring at her mother. Her thoughts pooled and fogged her brain. Why have I always been in Kali's shadow? Why can't I be important too? Her small six year old body swayed in rhythm with the nursery rhyme that was also in her small head.
Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,
without any seam or needlework,
tell her to wash it yonder well,
where never spring water nor rain ever feel,
tell her to dry it on yonder thorn which hadn't bore a blossom since Adam was born…
Her nanny had taught her the ancient song to all the family. Even when Kali was young the old woman had been with the poor family, through the good and the bad, the elderly woman had been there. Maybe someday I'll be as good as her… The little girl sulked away from her crying mother, into the hall.
" Good morning students, Please take out your textbooks." All eleven of us took out the given books. Mine vandalized with pencil and pen, also marker. I scanned the pages finding choice words on some places and just dumb words in others. I stared out the window never truly looking out of it. All the words he was saying was confusing, I never went to school so I didn't know anything of what he was explaining. The nurses said I was to old to be in the younger grades and that when I get out of here I was probably not going to go. So, therefore I must sit here, not understanding, and daydream. I looked over to see Emily and Cara doing their work, and knowing what it was about. I'm so stupid. I know nothing… I put my head on the desk and sighed.
I opened my eyes and the bell rang, I had fallen asleep. I picked up my body and walked out with Emily. I noticed that Victoria and Rebecca were getting along great, contrary to popular belief. Cara and Emily were smiling and laughing, leaving Lauren and Christa to argue about how much money each had. Well, I shop at Tiffany's. So, I shop at Gucci. I rolled my eyes, were they ever to stop arguing? How did they end up in this place anyways? Probably argued themselves into saying; Well I can take pills. So? I can shoot myself. I giggled to myself about this, it was pretty entertaining.
" Alexa, are you coming? We have room time." Emily looked at me and I realized I was standing in the middle of the hall, zoning.
" Oh, yeah, coming." I rush to the room and I ask Emily about Lauren and Christa.
" So, what's up with them, how did they get here?"
" Well, Christa was not even trying to die, she partied a little too hard. She woke up in the hospital after alcohol induced coma. Lauren on the other hand took thirty pills and waited. Her boyfriend broke up with her and she lost it." I nodded and just stared. The door creaked open and the nurse saw me sitting on Emily's bed.
" Olivia's here." I smiled and got up to meet her.
" Come on, we have to go and check the baby." I gave her a nervous smile and followed her to the door. Down the elevator was the doctor, waiting.
" Hello Alexa, follow me." We followed him down the halls and went into a room where a nurse sat and she smiled at me.
" Please lay on the table and pull up your shirt." I looked at Olivia frantically. She smiled reassuring me that it was going to be alright. I did as I was told and they hooked me up to a machine looking thing. The doctor put a cold gel on my stomach and rubbed it around my bump. He placed a thing on it and moved it around. On the screen came a little moving picture.
" This is your baby, now it's too early to tell the sex, but it looks healthy. " I smiled and looked at the picture affectionately. That little person was my life, my future.
- Six Weeks Later-
" Olivia's here Alexa, grab your bag and say your goodbye's." I gave Emily a hug and promised her I would stay in touch. All the kids were leaving today and I was the first. I said goodbye to everyone and even the nurses. I looked back at the room as if to recollect all the memories that would come to rest here. I looked at Olivia and smiled, she was my new mother, one that cared. She signed me out and opened the door, the draft from outdoors was refreshing.
" My car is in the lot, but we still have to go to the main office to drop off paperwork for my work. Your not the first child that I have rescued." I nodded and followed her closely. I didn't want her to get to far away. After she was done we got into her car and left.
" Alexa, do you even know where you are?" I sighed and shook my head, I didn't know if I had even left India.
" Well, you are in New York, in the United States. And the town is Bath, I live in Bath and that's where you'll be going to school." I shot her a look and jumped. School?
" The nurse said that I don't have enough of an education to catch up." She looked at me like I was talking nonsense.
" You are a smart girl, you'll be fine. I mean you did enough of Connor's homework." I shuttered at the name and a chill went up my spine.
" But what about me being pregnant? Won't they pick on me and stare?"
" I was planning on waiting until you have it, and while your at school I'll watch him or her."
" But you have work."
" Don't worry I can work from home for a couple months." I nodded, it was settled I was going to school, yay. We drove seventy down the highway, the last time I had been in a car was the purchase agreement, and I was sold. I looked out the window and saw the morning sun lifting toward the heavens.
" You know where you are?" I looked back at her and said no.
" Your on Freedom Highway, Alexa you will never be hurt again." She looked so solemn and serious, I smiled at her. And for the first time in my life I cried from happiness…