4THE ART OF SUBTLE HONESTY
Sometime ago, I once told a friend of mine her drawing wasn't very good; In fact let me be completely honest here, I simply told her, her drawing sucked… yep I told her that with pretty much brutal honesty, and naturally she was pretty devastated (as it turns out she was expecting praise or at the very least a positive comment since she thought it was her first decent drawing). Either way it seems that the damage was done because ever since she's gone to great limits to hide her drawings from me.
So…. Are you guys getting the moral of the story here?
If you say "Yes" then thanks, at the very least my words weren't wasted and someone actually learned something from that little story, if you say "No I didn't understand the gist of that stupid, somewhat pointless story" well, let me thank you still since you've given me the opportunity to explain so that this essay won't end with only a below 150 word count, sarcasm there's absolutely no way I am tempted to pass my essay like that! /sarcasm
Anyways I won't waste anymore words; the moral of the story is that honesty hurts; in fact it hurt/traumatized my friend so much that ever since that little careless comment she won't even let me get a peek at her drawings ever since. Not. One. Single. Peek.
When I get annoyed and demand to know why she won't let me see her drawings she just says (with equal annoyance) that she thinks I'll just make "fun of it" again; Ever since then I've been careful to watch my words It seems that the since saying "what goes around, comes back around" does in fact hold truth.
As of that I've been in a moral dilemma, do I keep telling "the truth and nothing but the truth" every time I am asked for a helpful opinion or do I overlook some mistakes and tell a little white lie? After all what harm can a lie do? Is honesty truly the best policy? Will my friend regain trust in me and let me see her drawings? Will I get a somewhat decent grade for this essay? Why did I even mention that?
Tune in…
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Honesty is:
": chastity 2. a: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b: adherence to the facts : sincerity 3. any of a genus (Lunaria) of European herbs of the mustard family with toothed leaves and flat disk-shaped siliques."
Now, aside from No. 3 (which I honestly admit I added just to make the word count higher); Honesty is described as the ability to tell the truth and being honest to something or someone, it also means giving actual and real facts free from lies and deceits , society often claims honesty as a virtue that is often preached but seldom received well, take for example: a girl would ask you if she looked good in her newly bought (and extremely expensive) yellow dress, would you really have the guts to tell her she looked like a gigantic banana? Or how about if you're an advertising salesman and you're trying to sell a rather lousy product like a shampoo, would you advertise your product in a negative light like for example stating that "The product is so effective you'd go bald! Has never been tested! Makes a perfect habitat for nurturing louse!"
Is honesty truly beneficial? Would lying truly be the best way to avoid unnecessary conflict?
Brutal honesty is seldom taken well, and can lead to hostility, rejection, animosity and hurt feelings, but at the same time isn't lying just a way to avoid a present problem? Lying is only efficient in the short run but in the long run lies just lead to more dishonesty until you have a web created from lies, it has no firm foundation and when the winds of life come, that fragile web of deceit can easily crumble into nothing. When one gets caught in their trail of lies don't expect a pleasant response from the one you lied to. The degrees of the lie is often equal to the degree of respect and trust a person has for you, and when a lie is discovered expect lots of credibility lost.
One must be reminded of the parable of The Boy Who Cried Wolf in Aesop's fables, telling to many lies makes one lose the trust and credibility of others. It's the same with breaking a promise, breaking it too often and it will gradually lose its value and be worthless to others. How I wish some politicians are reading this right now…
In the Hindu book of Panchatantra it is stated:
"The people of the world having once been deceived suspect deceit in truth itself."
So the problem cause by deception has been recognized since ancient times.
So it goes without saying that honesty, though harsher than lies is often the better option in the long run, honesty opens the door for development; being truthful with yourself gives you integrity and paves the way for personal development i.e. "I'm lazy, I envy other peoples achievements, I lack patience but hey once I try to I do get things done, I can do this, that, etc." At the same time it also paves the way for social development; real life example is when I did give positive criticism for another friend's drawing, and by now she's able to create awesome still life portraits while I'm still sticking to anime style!
Oh and that brings me to Positive Criticism! The first thing that mostly comes to mind when people think of criticism is some serious frankness, in fact it almost always is but positive criticism helps develop yourself and others; while brutal honesty is almost always more brutal than honest, I advise balancing honesty with compassion, through my own experience it's better to deal with sensitive subjects with tact and a non-judgmental attitude.
Honesty is about raising the standard of one's qualities, making progress and development not about tearing down someone's self-confidence or getting a sense of superiority. As with that in mind, honesty requires a degree and self-awareness of one's own faults.
Pain is often the driving force we need but refuse to accept, as is with accepting the bare truth and realizing your own faults, losses and mistakes, only through that can we learn to succeed through experience and self acceptance.
"No pain, No gain"
–Jane Fonda
So any final words to the reader? Spread the truth, go ahead, provoke change within yourself and with other people; It creates peace of mind, development of strong relationship with others and it's the first step to the right way of living. Honesty is often underestimated but its true value cannot be overestimated; PEACE!
"Honesty is the best policy, if I lose mine honor, I lose myself"
-William Shakespeare
A/N: I'm not dead! YAY! Last project for our finaly deliberation and sh*t literaly hit the fan I had to chose a topic fast (I ended up choosing The Importance of Honesty over Cats AreBetter than Way Freaking Dogs but oh well...) , make it atleast 1000 words long and still have enough time to deal with half a dozen more freaking projects; Oh and if you noticed then yes I'm still incredibly grammar numb... somethings will just never change.