An: This is my second story and please review and tell me what you think. WARNING: cutting, suicidal references.
Like Mother, Like Daughter
That's Kelsey's girl… Oh! The poor thing… That's what I hear when I walk into a room. Never Hey its Annabell or something normal like that. Always referred to with momma's name first… I want to scream I'm a person too! Not my mothers' shadow! But it's not worth it, because in truth, I am my mother. The saying I always hear, but its so true, like mother like daughter.
" Annabell, take Jade and go to the park. Momma needs alone time." I knew what that meant, even if she didn't. It meant momma needed her blade.
" Alright… I have my phone, in case of code red." Code red, a dumb way to say, Hey mom, if you cut to deep, call me.
" I know." She gave me a look like I'm not THAT stupid.
" Come on Jade, momma's going to be okay." Jade being four still didn't know her weakness. She doesn't understand why momma needs to be alone all the time. How I found out was a little stunning for a seven year old. Now fifteen, it's been eight years watching her writs turn from peach to pink- purple, from skin to scar. I knew exactly what she was doing as I walked down the sidewalk, each step in sync with her blade slashing her arms and wrists.
" Annabell… Why does mommy bleed all the time?" I stopped and held her hand.
" Oh, hunny, don't worry about it, okay?" She nodded and kept walking with a look that was to solemn to be a little girls', a look I perfected when I was her age. As we neared the playground I sat on the bench with the other moms. I felt like Jade was mine, not momma's. I basically raised myself… Her blade was more important to her than me. A small girl ran up to her mother and gave her a hug, something I couldn't do without getting bloodstains on me… it made me want to cry. A few hours passed and I got a text from mom, come home I'm done. Huh. Can't she be done forever? This addiction was becoming my own and I knew why it was so hard for her to stop. I'm sure Jade will do the same when she gets older… My little black haired, green eyed baby will cut… Just like me, an older version of Jade.
" Jade! Come on!" She turned to me from the swings and smiled,
" Coming!" Then sprinted passed me as if she wanted me to chase her. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence. I chuckled and ran after her, with her looking over her shoulder every couple seconds. We sprinted up the steps and burst through the front door, with mom cleaning. If she wasn't cutting she was cleaning, a neat freak.
" Girls, what do you want for dinner?" I turned to Jade and smiled, pizza?
" Um… pizza?" Her small high pitched voice was adorable and I nodded.
" Alright girls, well then as soon as Charlotte and Anne come home we'll order."
" Okay…" The twins were at the library as usual. My half sisters were to be home any second. How you ask? Well mom and dad split up before Jade was born and mom hooked up with some Indian dude and had the twins. He beat me on a regular basis and I was raped, once. As soon as mom found out he was gone faster then she could have drove down to the gas station and back. Then mom and dad got back together, hence Jade. But, now their split again, lovely family life don't you think?
The door opened and two gorgeous tan identical twins walked in. Their wrists just as marred as mine and mommas'. I don't understand why they do it, they are beautiful, smart and perfect. But everyone has different reasons.
" Char, Anne, were having pizza!" Jade's squealing voice was adorable and lovely… I loved her with all my heart. The thirteen year olds shrugged and went to their room. Jade's face changed to sadness and she sat on the couch. I went over and sat next to her, her small hands balled into fists.
" Why don't they love me Annabell?" Her inquiring look was heart breaking tears sliding down her cheeks.
" Oh, hunny, they do, their just, well teenagers." I hated to stereotype myself but I needed a better reason then our dad's are different.
" Oh, okay…" Her voice trailed off and she got up and went to hug Mom. I went down the hall and went past the girls room. I heard them whispering and I peeked in.
"I hate this house, if our dad wasn't a rapist, I would go live with him. Get the blade and come here." I saw them take turns slashing each others arms and wrists. I gasped at the blood they were drawing on each other, I'm not a baby I've had my share of deep ones but this was deep, really deep. They helped each other wrap and started to hug and cry. So that's why they do it, the fact their father is a rapist. Dumb reason. I know that mine was even dumber but I couldn't help but think that.
I went to my room and opened my closet, the box on the top shelf had all my tools in it, including my loaded gun. I was ready, but I couldn't just leave Jade here alone. I'll do it later, I guess, my knife will have to do for now. I pass the mirror on my way to the bed, I saw a thin, black haired girl. Her hair reached the middle of her back and curled down. Her ebony hair was contrasting her snow white skin, ghostly with no color in her cheeks. Old slices covered her small wrists, her veins sticking out. I turned from the girl I knew was me…
I sat on the bed and brought the knife down, and Jade in turn, will do the same. Each slice I saw my life past and present, horrors and bliss was in both. I snapped out of it long enough to see the deep red crimson liquid pouring from a slice in my arm. I took my tissue box and held some there. It stung and bled but at least I feel better. I look at my slightly open door and saw huge green eyes, frightened and welling with tears. Jade. Her breath coming in short spirts and her tears falling, her huge wide eyes crying. The pale of her face was depressing, like the girl in the mirror. Jade, my Jade, has found out the same way I had to, at four. The blood was dripping onto my leg, I look down to fix the tissues and I hear a thud. Not two feet away laid Jade passed out with fear and the sight of so much blood. I wrap my arm and bend down to pick up her limp body. I lay her on the bed, the sleeping angel. I ruined her life, her sweet innocent life. When she wakes up she'll never be the same, or see me the same. She will find out her family's weakness and eventually join the line of cutters, don't I feel special. My angel, my girl, was ripped from the true phrase ignorance is bliss, and it's all my fault… what else is new.